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Rain Man
08-15-2006, 05:37 PM
The year is 540 A.D. A couple of hundred years ago, your great-great-great-great-grandfather beat up everyone else's great-great-great-great-grandfather in a fight, and he got to be the king. He passed power down to his son, who took over eight nearby villages, and he passed power down to his son, who took over another twenty. His own son took over 50 more, and his son took over 100. Your granfather took over 200 more, and your dad, a bit of an underachiever added another 82 to the empire. Unfortunately, a peasant in that 82nd village managed to club your dad in the head with a big piece of wood and he died on the battlefield.

Suddenly, the masses look to you. You are the king. There's a big party, lots of dancing and mead, and the high priest presents you with the crown, and the rubies and diamonds look quite good on you.

First things first. Your financial minister reports to you that you need an entourage, and you can have up to six of the following entourage types. Which ones would you select?

Rain Man
08-15-2006, 05:53 PM
I went with:

the food taster (seems like a necessity),
the executioner (just because it would look cool),
the big, muscular guards (gotta have a posse),
the concubine (too valuable to pass up),
scantily clad women feeding me grapes (you should have some luxury in your life), and
scantily clad women lying at my feet (I think this creates a strong impression on visitors)

I regret not being able to afford that wizened advisor and the painter.

DaneMcCloud
08-15-2006, 05:55 PM
I chose the following:

A wild-eyed, slightly insane advisor of frightening countenance
An ancient, wizened advisor
An anxious-looking but devoted food taster
An executioner
An Oracle
Other (Financial advisor to the king)

All the rest, I would already have rule over as King: Women, the army, gladiators and peasants. What I would need as King are great advisers so that I could make my reign as long as possible.

Otter
08-15-2006, 05:56 PM
Physical freaks (Set of four - two monstrosities, one hair-covered, one missing lower half of body and walks on hands)
Scantily clad women (two) feeding you grapes
Scantily clad women (three) lying at your feet
Scantily clad women (two) waving palm fronds near your throne
Scantily clad dancers (four)
Gladiators (two, with replacements available) waiting to fight upon your command

Rain Man
08-15-2006, 05:56 PM
Ah. Dane the Wise.


I would be RainMan the Ostentatious.

Rain Man
08-15-2006, 05:59 PM
King Otter the Lecherous.

NJ Chief Fan
08-15-2006, 06:03 PM
i role with bob saget

TinyEvel
08-15-2006, 06:03 PM
Ummm, are you missing your Dungeons and Dragons Board?

Count Zarth
08-15-2006, 06:05 PM
An ancient, wizened advisor

An executioner with a black hood and axe, for those times when people irritate you

Concubine/mistress (one)

Four strong guys to carry you around in one of those raised chairs with the horizontal poles

Scantily clad women (two) waving palm fronds near your throne

Wild animals in a nearby menagerie (4 large hooved mammals, 3 large carnivores, various fish, reptiles, birds, and small mammals)

hypersensitiveZO6
08-15-2006, 06:06 PM
My choices:

1. Midgets and Giant- all the entertainment; I considered the jester, but I couldn't pass this one up

2. Gladiators- I don't **** around; don't mess with them; I feel no need for executioner

3. Painter- I always wanted one

4. Scantily clad women at feet- Who wouldn't want this

5. Scantily clad women feeding grapes- see 4

6. Concubine- Royal Slut/Bitch (neccesity)

el borracho
08-15-2006, 06:10 PM
Small girls to carry my back-fur.

Raiderhader
08-15-2006, 06:23 PM
1. An executioner with a black hood and axe, for those times when people irritate you

2. Concubine/mistress (one)

3. Scantily clad women (two) feeding you grapes

4. Scantily clad women (three) lying at your feet

5. Scantily clad women (two) waving palm fronds near your throne

6. Scantily clad dancers (four)

el borracho
08-15-2006, 06:35 PM
1. An executioner with a black hood and axe, for those times when people irritate you

2. Concubine/mistress (one)

3. Scantily clad women (two) feeding you grapes

4. Scantily clad women (three) lying at your feet

5. Scantily clad women (two) waving palm fronds near your throne

6. Scantily clad dancers (four)
The dirty dozen?

Zebedee DuBois
08-15-2006, 06:39 PM
I went with:
The wize advisor
The two bodygaurds
The set of midgets and the giant
The artist in residence
The two girls waving fronds
The four scantily clad dancers.

I am really hoping that the giant can juggle the three midgets. That would be so awesome!

The frond waving girls would serve as to move some air about. I think I will miss air conditioning. Also they would help to disperse any flatulence.

The artist in residence would be cool. I am hoping the artist can do ceilings.

Raiderhader
08-15-2006, 07:03 PM
The dirty dozen?


The titillating twelve.

whoman69
08-15-2006, 07:51 PM
My kingdom would look like an episode of the man show.

Go with the:
An ancient, wizened advisor
Concubine/mistress (one)
Jesters (Set of five - juggler, joketeller, buffoon, and two acrobats)
Midgets (three) and Giant (one)- no kingdom complete without them
Minstrels (Set of four - one lute, one flute, two singers)
Scantily clad dancers (four)- I'd have gone with more scantily clad women but it would have been crowded.

jspchief
08-15-2006, 07:58 PM
I only voted for 4
Gladiators (you can never have enough fighting men these days)
Guards (see above)
Wisened Advisor (learn from the mistakes of past kings)
Minstrels (rather than the 4, I would have one really good bard to sing of my triumphs and the golden years of my rule)