View Full Version : You know you're from Missouri if...

KC Jones
12-24-2000, 09:56 AM
You Know You're from Missouri If:

1. You've never met any celebrities.
2. Everyone in your family has been on a "Float trip"
3. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six
4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.
5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles.
6. Down south to you means Arkansas.
7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one
8. You know several people who have hit a deer.
9. You think Missouri is spelled with an "ah" at the end.
10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
11. You know what "party cove" is.
12. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
13. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
14. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
15. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
16. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
17. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
18. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in
it no matter what time of the year.
19. You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.


KC Jones
12-24-2000, 09:57 AM
20. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:
"Where's my coat at?"
21. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegitable, or grain.
22. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
23. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and
jell-o salad with marshmallows.
24. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else
25. You went to skating parties as a kid.
26. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
27. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
28. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
29. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one
page but requires 6 pages for sports.


KC Jones
12-24-2000, 09:57 AM
30. You think I-44 is spelled "foarty-foar." (St Louis Only)
31. You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to
32. You think that deer season is a national holiday.
33. You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia
and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City. And, the
Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
34. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the
middle of the summer during a
35. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
36. You've ever said, "it's not the heat, it's the humidity."
37. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and
38. You know if another Missourian is from the bootheel, ozarks, eastern,
middle or western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
39. You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all
from Missouri.
40. You failed world geography in school because you thought Cuba,
Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool,
Louisiana, Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri. (And they are!)
41. You think a traffic Jam is ten cars waiting to pass a

KC Jones
12-24-2000, 09:58 AM
My apologies if this has been around before. The only one I didn't get was:

16. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.<BR>

12-24-2000, 10:01 AM
LOL! Are you from West Plains? If so, we may be related. Here's some you missed:
1. All cities are abbreviated.(KC, St. Lou, Jeff City)
2. You have a rifle & shotgun, loaded, on your gunrack
3. You're 'kin' to Jesse James.
4. You've been fishing on every lake that has a 'possum hollar'.

All I can think of now.

Rick Stephens
12-24-2000, 10:02 AM
If you don't mow your grass by the 4th of July its knee high !

12-24-2000, 10:05 AM
You could probably lump Iowa and Nebraska in there too. This sounds waaay too familiar.

12-24-2000, 02:15 PM
Corn is supposed to be knee high by the Fourth of July.