View Full Version : Doggity Report Chiefs VS Niners

10-03-2006, 07:57 AM
Here's an advance copy of this week's Doggity Report. It'll be posted on my website tonight when I get home from work:


October 2, 2006
Week 4 – Chiefs vs Gold diggers at The Head
Caught it on the big TV downstairs, after church
Wow. I have seen bad games and good games, but I have rarely seen a game in which the
Chiefs dominated every aspect, every phase, the way they did yesterday. OK, OK, party
poopers, I know it WAS the second lamest team in the Bay Area. The Niners are bad. Not
septic-tank-scum-eating-bacteria-bad, like the guys in the East Bay, but not too good.
Sure, they started a quarterback who suited up in Batman Underoos. Still, 41-zippo
versus ANY NFL team (except Oakland) is a remarkable achievement. But most of all,
for the first time in a couple of years – THIS WAS FUN! My daughter and I watched the
game and we actually jumped up-and-down and yelled! But the freakiest thing was that
Jordan Black actually had a good game (as long as a tight end lined up on his side… but,
Offense: Well, first there was that whole Jordan “diamond lane” Black thing. When I
heard Turley was I out, I assumed the worst. Remember, I said that, henceforth, I would
refer to Black by the name given the high-occupancy express lanes on urban freeways? I
think that has regional application. By that, I mean that I have been in the diamond lane
in the Bay Area, and it’s no “express” lane. So, not surprising that Black had a good
game vs SF. By that metric, he’d be a pro-bowler against the Redskins. And Damon
Huard – wow. Who knew? Of course, he was playing against San Francisco. For the
record, we still want Trent back. But he did do more than anyone expected, 208 yards, 2
TDs, no picks. Everybody run out and put Huard on your fantasy team. My guess is
you’ll have an easy time getting him. Also, Rumsfeld would be proud of Larry Johnson;
he continued to beat on the Niners until they confessed. Gonzo had a solid game,
especially on 3rd down. The wide outs can finally be taken off the milk carton. Even
without Turley and Bennett, they were nearly as efficient as the last four years, albeit
against one of the worst Ds in the league.
Defense: More impressive than the offense was the “new & improved” KC D. Gun has
these guys believing. Johnson and Hali are starting to look much like another Derrick and
his running mate, Neil Smith. Law and Surtain could easily be Carter and Hasty. This is
possibly a very good defense. It’s too early to tell, for sure. But I love what I see, so far.
Jared Allen, Eric Hicks, Jimmy Wilkerson, and Tamba Hali all look great. The guys up
the gut look serviceable, too. Not Dan Saleamua and Joe Phillips, but not bad. The
linebackers may be the best team we’ve seen since Lynch, Lanier and Bell. Sure, Alex
Smith said a mouthful when he admitted that Arrowhead cuts up young QBs for bait, and
even seasoned signal-callers have a hard slog there. But, bottom line; there was that donut
on the scoreboard against an NFL offense with a 24-point-per-game average.
Specials: The kids on the short bus earned their stripes, too. In fact, with the D’s effort,
the special teams scored enough points to win, by themselves. The X factor broke his
three-year slump and returned a punt 60 yards for the score. Colquitt was again stellar,
and Tynes got his job done, too. The coverage units were the unsung heroes. Even the
aforementioned Diamond Lane Black made a great play to down a punt on the one.
The “Throw Him A Bone” award today goes to Damon Huard. In two weeks, he went
from a guy sent in to “not lose” -- into a guy with a swagger. He threw tight spirals that
landed right in the box. His TD pass to Dante was as sweet as any Green ever threw.
Green is still missed, but perhaps a good bit less than he was last week. Hopefully,
Damon, you won’t get many more chances. Take your bone and bury it.
The “Doggity Dogg” award ‘winner’ is Michael Bennett. “WHAT!?” you say? He didn’t
even suit up! Yeah. Exactly. He hurt himself messing around after practice. As a
corporate safety guy, people who take themselves out of service to their employers
through their own horseplay, ALWAYS get the Dogg!
The AFC West:
The Donkeys – Hey, they didn’t look bad this week! Oh yeah, they had the day off
The Bolts – Lost a tough one on the road. It happens.
The Criminals – Up 21-3 on the hapless Browns at home... yup, they lost. Hahahahahaha!
Next up: To the desert to play the birds that can’t live in the desert (obviously, have you
seen them?) – on the road against the Cardinals in Phoenix.

Mr. Laz
10-03-2006, 08:59 AM
thanks for sharing