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BIG_DADDY
10-06-2006, 10:32 AM
Why'd the Chicken cross the road?

I got this in my email and it tells how someone thought these people would answer. It really is quite funny.

GEORGE W BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



JOHN KERRY

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.



PAT BUCHANAN

To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American



RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.



MARTHA STEWART

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.



JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it: the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."



DR SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die in the rain. Alone.



MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.



GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.



JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.



ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



KARL MARX

It was an historic inevitability.



RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?



CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.



SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.



BILL GATES

I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.



ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?



BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?



AL GORE

I invented the chicken!



JESSE JACKSON

Because it was black and was being mistreated by all the White Leghorns.



THE BIBLE

And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing



COLONEL SANDERS

Did I miss one?

StcChief
10-06-2006, 10:43 AM
ROFL

KC-TBB
10-06-2006, 10:46 AM
WOW, way to political for me man...but funny!

ck_IN
10-06-2006, 10:48 AM
Hmm I thought it was to prove to the opossum that it could be done.

StcChief
10-06-2006, 10:51 AM
Hmm I thought it was to prove to the opossum that it could be done.or Texas speedbumps (Armadillo)
In Oct-Nov now the DEER.

Brock
10-06-2006, 10:51 AM
Because it was being chased by a pit bull. ;)

cdcox
10-06-2006, 10:59 AM
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

booyaf2
10-06-2006, 11:00 AM
Just set out a bowl of anti-freeze and be done with it.

Skip Towne
10-06-2006, 11:02 AM
Because they are building a KFC on his side of the road.

BIG_DADDY
10-06-2006, 11:05 AM
Because it was being chased by a pit bull. ;)
LMAO

Iowanian
10-06-2006, 11:06 AM
Why did Jaz Cross the Road?
His dick was stuck in the democratic Chicken.

Braincase
10-06-2006, 11:16 AM
Fred Phelps: GOD HATES CHICKENS!

Braincase
10-06-2006, 11:16 AM
Why did Jaz Cross the Road?
His dick was stuck in the democratic Chicken.

You are the Last Boy Scout.

BIG_DADDY
10-06-2006, 11:18 AM
Why did Jaz Cross the Road?
His dick was stuck in the democratic Chicken.

God must hate him.

Lzen
10-06-2006, 11:50 AM
Because it was being chased by a pit bull. ;)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! ROFL

Lzen
10-06-2006, 11:52 AM
Why did Jaz Cross the Road?
His dick was stuck in the democratic Chicken.


:LOL:

chiefqueen
10-06-2006, 11:59 AM
Herm Edwards: The chicken crosses TO WIN THE GAME! Do you understand that? The chicken crossed the road TO WIN THE GAME. The chick didn't cross the road to get close or to have nice stats but he crossed the road TO WIN THE GAME.

Rain Man
10-06-2006, 12:14 PM
Tom Reynolds: To receive his national leadership award from the Republican Party.

runnercyclist
10-07-2006, 08:43 AM
...because he was stapled to the punk rocker

runnercyclist
10-07-2006, 08:43 AM
Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

StcChief
10-07-2006, 09:01 AM
[homer simpson]
There was free beer on the other side of the road.

hmmmmmm freee beer.....
[/homer simpson]

Bearcat
10-07-2006, 09:05 AM
Chiefsplanet: Who knows, but if the chicken hadn't been crossing Arrowhead Drive he would have been the top story on Sportscenter instead of News & Notes.