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View Full Version : Describe your best and worst date


Count Zarth
10-06-2006, 12:58 PM
And/Or your best and worst first dates.

Fried Meat Ball!
10-06-2006, 01:00 PM
Kinda short. Fat. Redish hair. Psycho.

Count Zarth
10-06-2006, 01:01 PM
No no no...THE date. Not the person.

Phobia
10-06-2006, 01:02 PM
Driving around the block was my uh, worst date and it was also my best date as well.

Fried Meat Ball!
10-06-2006, 01:02 PM
She was my date. Most of them with her were bad.

Best... probably my first date with my wife.

DMAC
10-06-2006, 01:07 PM
Never had a good date.

Just looked for the drunk girl, then ended up going out with them.

That is how I met my wife. We go out to eat sometimes. :shrug:

|Zach|
10-06-2006, 01:07 PM
Worst was about 4 years ago here in Springfield. Met this girl passing between classes...we ran into eachother a lot, she seemed nice enough and was cute. So I asked her to dinner.

Yuck.

First of all she wouldn't stop complaining. Its not like she was complaining about anything important...little tiny things like why a seat was in a place and that the salt and pepper shakers were way to big and the lighting of the place blah be blah be blah. It wouldn't stop.

Then the conversation...

Turns out she wanted to be a mortician. Not really my bag but thats no big deal everyone has their own stuff that interests them. It wasn't a big deal until she was explaining it in very detailed and graphic terms. Some of the processes and things that happen during embalming and things like that. This is while we were eating...blech.

Then the food...

She ordered a salad. One of those big salads that has a million things in it. She decided she didn't like the little tiny purple things that taste like absolutely nothing. She had to isolate and remove every single one until she started eating it. This elongated our eating time by literally 30 mins. It already seemed long enough just hearing her talk this made it a million times worse...complaining...dead people...salads...

Total nightmare. She asked if I wanted to go back to her and catch a movie...ehhh I have early class sorry.

Donger
10-06-2006, 01:07 PM
Girl: That's not it!
Me: I know.

tk13
10-06-2006, 01:10 PM
Worst was about 4 years ago here in Springfield. Met this girl passing between classes...we ran into eachother a lot, she seemed nice enough and was cute. So I asked her to dinner.

Yuck.

First of all she wouldn't stop complaining. Its not like she was complaining about anything important...little tiny things like why a seat was in a place and that the salt and pepper shakers were way to big and the lighting of the place blah be blah be blah. It wouldn't stop.

Then the conversation...

Turns out she wanted to be a mortician. Not really my bag but thats no big deal everyone has their own stuff that interests them. It wasn't a big deal until she was explaining it in very detailed and graphic terms. Some of the processes and things that happen during embalming and things like that. This is while we were eating...blech.

Then the food...

She ordered a salad. One of those big salads that has a million things in it. She decided she didn't like the little tiny purple things that taste like absolutely nothing. She had to isolate and remove every single one until she started eating it. This elongated our eating time by literally 30 mins. It already seemed long enough just hearing her talk this made it a million times worse...complaining...dead people...salads...

Total nightmare. She asked if I wanted to go back to her and catch a movie...ehhh I have early class sorry.
There's a plethora of tossed salad jokes in here. Thankfully, I will not be making any of them.

BucEyedPea
10-06-2006, 01:10 PM
The guy who drooled excesively all over me while making out. I was retching through but suppressed it as much as possible to not be rude. Couldn't wait to be taken home. :eek:

Phobia
10-06-2006, 01:12 PM
The guy who drooled excesively all over me while making out. I was retching through but suppressed it as much as possible to not be rude. Couldn't wait to be taken home. :eek:

Was he better in the sack at least?

Donger
10-06-2006, 01:15 PM
The guy who drooled excesively all over me while making out. I was retching through but suppressed it as much as possible to not be rude. Couldn't wait to be taken home. :eek:

I remember one date that was very odd. We starting making out and she got on top of me, fully-clothed. Then, she grabbed my leg and arranged it so that it formed an inverted 'v.' She then proceeded to hump it like a porn star in heat. I was somewhat surprised (still a virgin), but what the hell, I rode it out.

BucEyedPea
10-06-2006, 01:16 PM
Was he better in the sack at least?
I was still a virgin at that time...so I wouldn't know. o:-)

Bill Parcells
10-06-2006, 01:16 PM
I had alot of good dates..

The worst date was when I was in her car driving to our destination(dinner)..And suddenly I felt a bowel movement coming on...I told her to pull over to a wooded area..and she just laughed at me..

Then I started to freak out,and she finally pulled over :D

My first and last date with her!!! :D

BucEyedPea
10-06-2006, 01:18 PM
I had alot of good dates..

The worst date was when I was in her car driving to our destination(dinner)..And suddenly I felt a bowel movement coming on...I told her to pull over to a wooded area..and she just laughed at me..

Then I started to freak out,and she finally pulled over :D

My first and last date with her!!! :D
So she thought you were a party-pooper 'eh? :D :evil:

Phobia
10-06-2006, 01:18 PM
I had alot of good dates..

The worst date was when I was in her car driving to our destination(dinner)..And suddenly I felt a bowel movement coming on...I told her to pull over to a wooded area..and she just laughed at me..

Then I started to freak out,and she finally pulled over :D

My first and last date with her!!! :D

If she posted here, I'm pretty sure I know what her worst date story would be....

Bill Parcells
10-06-2006, 01:19 PM
So she thought you were a party-pooper 'eh? :D :evil:
I was about to take the wheel and throw her out!!!

Sweat bursting off of my brow and all!!! :D

YES!!! :)

tk13
10-06-2006, 01:20 PM
I had alot of good dates..

The worst date was when I was in her car driving to our destination(dinner)..And suddenly I felt a bowel movement coming on...I told her to pull over to a wooded area..and she just laughed at me..

Then I started to freak out,and she finally pulled over :D

My first and last date with her!!! :D
So she dumped you.

Bill Parcells
10-06-2006, 01:20 PM
If she posted here, I'm pretty sure I know what her worst date story would be....
Shit happens bro!!! ;)

burt
10-06-2006, 01:20 PM
WTF....are we in band camp?????

chiefsfaninNC
10-06-2006, 01:21 PM
Why would you start a thread that you can't post in Goat?

Bill Parcells
10-06-2006, 01:22 PM
So she dumped you.
Exactly!!!!

booyaf2
10-06-2006, 01:25 PM
This was back in high school, but this one girl a year older than me picked me up, we drove around for a while in her new truck(wasn't new, but new to her). We were putting the beers back, I was drinking probably 3 to her 1. Next thing ya know I'm drunk. We're having a grand ol time and I had to puke. Being the man i am, i didn't want to be "that guy" so i was trying to hold it back. Finally the time comes and there wasn't time to pull over so i just puked out the window. I'm assuming it was her worst date, cause the window wasn't down. Haven't heard from her since.

CosmicPal
10-06-2006, 01:52 PM
All you have to do is read my work....Despite the "Angry Asian" chick, that wasn't a date- so that wouldn't count.

The worst date I've ever had those was a few years ago, here in Denver. The night of our first, and only, date, I pick her up at her apartment and as soon as we both pile into my car her cell phone rang. #1 rule: Your cell phone better be OFF when you're on a first date.

But, I let her off. Well, then she hangs up and makes a call. At least she apologized, so I forgave her. But, then she makes another call, takes another call, makes another call, takes another call...etc, etc.

We get to the restaurant and as soon as we get to the table she excuses herself to take yet another phone call. By this time, I've given up. I ended up having to order for the both of us while she was still on the phone. I then excused myself to go to the bathroom as she nods her head to let me know she understood my intent.

Instead, I walked up to our waitress and asked her how much the bill was- paid it, and gave her $40.00 and told her it was either hers to keep or she could give $20.00 to my date to hail a cab. She didn't have time to argue and instead, took the money, and I walked out of there and drove to the nearest dive bar to get drunk.

Funny thing is- I expected the gal to call me and chew me out. But, I never did receive it. I took it as she both understood, and that she wasn't interested.

Iowanian
10-06-2006, 02:19 PM
Just to play it safe....

I'm positive that my best dates were all with brideowanian, and all of the rest of my dates with other girls were aweful.

Bill Parcells
10-06-2006, 02:22 PM
Just to play it safe....

I'm positive that my best dates were all with brideowanian, and all of the rest of my dates with other girls were aweful.
Question:

Translate:brideowanian=wifeowanian??

Iowanian
10-06-2006, 02:26 PM
I went out with a gal once, who brought 2 friends. We did the bar with a band thing, and all night the girl was more than suggestive, and made some pretty filthy predictions of what I was to do to her, and I was fine with that. Her other friends were bitching all night about how horned up they were, to the point of annoying....I thought one was going to rub her arse on the floor like a dog in heat.

Anyhoooo....we go back to her place, of course friends in tow, as 1 was a roomate. Within a minute of being there, the date pulls this sack from beside the sofa and says "you'll never guess whats in here" I suggest its a hair dryer....wrong....she pulls out a giant pink weiner that took at least 3 hand over hands to remove from the bag.

I begin to think "self, you're going to tamp her like a fence post".....and I go back to take a leak.

I came out of the restroom after pissing and washing my hands....and in that timeframe, some other dude had arrived, and was banging the date on a washing machine 3' from the bathroom door.

you heard that right.....A guy arrived, entered the house, and entered her, within 2 minutes.

I alkwardly shuffled past to the living room to put my shoes on and leave, and the other 2 were there pulling out a sofa bed.

thats all I have to say about that.

Iowanian
10-06-2006, 02:29 PM
Answer:
Excellent use of your deductive reasoning and problem solving skills Bill. You're a regular Nancy Drew.

Question:

Translate:brideowanian=wifeowanian??

Bwana
10-06-2006, 02:31 PM
I went out with a gal once, who brought 2 friends. We did the bar with a band thing, and all night the girl was more than suggestive, and made some pretty filthy predictions of what I was to do to her, and I was fine with that. Her other friends were bitching all night about how horned up they were, to the point of annoying....I thought one was going to rub her arse on the floor like a dog in heat.

Anyhoooo....we go back to her place, of course friends in tow, as 1 was a roomate. Within a minute of being there, the date pulls this sack from beside the sofa and says "you'll never guess whats in here" I suggest its a hair dryer....wrong....she pulls out a giant pink weiner that took at least 3 hand over hands to remove from the bag.

I begin to think "self, you're going to tamp her like a fence post".....and I go back to take a leak.

I came out of the restroom after pissing and washing my hands....and in that timeframe, some other dude had arrived, and was banging the date on a washing machine 3' from the bathroom door.

you heard that right.....A guy arrived, entered the house, and entered her, within 2 minutes.

I alkwardly shuffled past to the living room to put my shoes on and leave, and the other 2 were there pulling out a sofa bed.

thats all I have to say about that.

Ouch LMAO You win!

Bill Parcells
10-06-2006, 02:33 PM
Answer:
Excellent use of your deductive reasoning and problem solving skills Bill. You're a regular Nancy Drew.
Well..you have to understand..you're legendary Iowanian lingo is new to me ;)

Cut Bill some slack!!!!

stevieray
10-06-2006, 02:33 PM
worst... a very attractive young lady who was a screamer.

Phobia
10-06-2006, 02:35 PM
I alkwardly shuffled past to the living room to put my shoes on and leave, and the other 2 were there pulling out a sofa bed.

thats all I have to say about that.

I really wish you had stayed. Those girls wore me out.

Donger
10-06-2006, 02:35 PM
I had one encounter that was somewhat unnerving. I was dating a girl who was a few years older than myself, 15/17. She and I were having intercourse when I looked up and her little sister (13 maybe) was watching us. I naturally stopped and whispered, "Uh, your little sister is watching us." She replied, "That's okay, she likes to watch."

No thanks. Pants up and out of there.

CosmicPal
10-06-2006, 02:38 PM
I had one encounter that was somewhat unnerving. I was dating a girl who was a few years older than myself, 15/17. She and I were having intercourse when I looked up and her little sister (13 maybe) was watching us. I naturally stopped and wispered, "Uh, your little sister is watching us." She replied, "That's okay, she likes to watch."

No thanks. Pants up and out of there.

Thank goodness you didn't reply, "Well, whaddya say she joins us."

:shake:

morphius
10-06-2006, 02:40 PM
Dating? I have heard rumors of such a thing.

Iowanian
10-06-2006, 02:43 PM
I'd reply further, but as I've stated, thats all I have to say about that.

One of them would have worn you out....unless you were a power lifter.

I really wish you had stayed. Those girls wore me out.

Rain Man
10-06-2006, 02:43 PM
Best: I scored. There are a few dates that are tied for the "best".

Worst: I'd dated a gal a few times who was a real looker, but a little weird. (She was a professional psychologist who dealt with messed-up and institutionalized kids, and I think she had a little messed-upedness herself.) But did I mention that she was a real looker? Anyway, we'd been on a few dates, and when I picked her up and we were on the way to dinner, she gave me the whole rejection speech, but then wanted to finish the date anyway. Not knowing what else to do, I bought her dinner and went to a movie with her, but the conversation was quite awkward.

And of course, I've mentioned this before, but I think maybe my first date was an unwitting gay date. When I was 13, my locker partner in junior high invited me to go see a movie with him. It was a pleasant outing. Over the next few years, it became apparent that he was as flaming as a self-immolating monk, but I didn't recognize that at the time, because gay people were only invented in central Missouri in the early 90s.

Amnorix
10-06-2006, 02:45 PM
I had one encounter that was somewhat unnerving. I was dating a girl who was a few years older than myself, 15/17. She and I were having intercourse when I looked up and her little sister (13 maybe) was watching us. I naturally stopped and whispered, "Uh, your little sister is watching us." She replied, "That's okay, she likes to watch."

No thanks. Pants up and out of there.


:spock:

Donger
10-06-2006, 02:47 PM
:spock:

Yes, I know. It was on that day that I learned that females are just as, if not more, sexually precocious than males.

Iowanian
10-06-2006, 02:49 PM
I had another date with an unfortunate ending.

In college, I knew a gal for a while who was a pretty nice car, but didn't have alot of chrome....anyway....We went out.

We went to eat, went to a bar-band(what else do you do in the ville).....we go back to her place....
We sit on the sofa, I begin to work my cool-Fonzie moves...she goes to make us drinks....I go to the bathroom again(the pre-poke piss)....

As I come into the room, she's mounted on one of those round-wicker basket chairs..removing her pants.....and as they hit her feet, in her most sultry voice she says "you can put it on it...but not in it"

Donger
10-06-2006, 02:51 PM
And of course, I've mentioned this before, but I think maybe my first date was an unwitting gay date. When I was 13, my locker partner in junior high invited me to go see a movie with him. It was a pleasant outing. Over the next few years, it became apparent that he was as flaming as a self-immolating monk, but I didn't recognize that at the time, because gay people were only invented in central Missouri in the early 90s.

I was over at a friend's house one afternoon, just hanging out playing video games. Out of nowhere he asks, "Would you accept a blowjob from a guy?" I responded, "Errr, no. No I wouldn't." He replied, "Well, the way I see it, a mouth's a mouth." We weren't very friendly after that.

He also had a naked picture of his Mom getting out of the shower. He was very strange.

Donger
10-06-2006, 02:53 PM
As I come into the room, she's mounted on one of those round-wicker basket chairs..removing her pants.....and as they hit her feet, in her most sultry voice she says "you can put it on it...but not in it"

LMAO

Amnorix
10-06-2006, 02:54 PM
The worst was when I began dating a woman I had met at a party at a mutual friends' place. First couple of dates went ok -- dinner and movie type thing. Then she invites me to her place to watch movies. Turns out she lives in a Roach Motel. They were frigging everwhere, even with the lights on. :shake: I spent the rest of the evening absently scratching random parts of my body and trying to figure out how to get out of there gracefully.

Amnorix
10-06-2006, 02:57 PM
He also had a naked picture of his Mom getting out of the shower. He was very strange.

I'm trying for the life of me to figure out how he could get such a thing without getting caught and having his ass whupped...

And you and Rain Man are reminding me of a good friend of mine back in college. Very bright guy, good looking, etc., who was apparently some kind of gay guy magnet. He didn't have too much trouble getting women either, but he had about 150 hilarious stories of shaking off gay guys who had propositioned him subtlely or overtly.

Last I remember of him he was heading off to DC to serve as a page or something. :doh!: (and yes, I'm serious, he was a Poli Sci major)

Iowanian
10-06-2006, 03:00 PM
I had another bad one.....I guess when you go on alot of dates, things go wrong sometimes.

I met a gal in a bar...when I was shitfaced.....and made a date. She showed up to my house(which I never would have had her do under normal circumstances).....with 2 kids. Oh, did I mention she was a horrible Butterface? Did I mention the exotic Pink and teal Blue shirt and the multi colored leg warmers?

She had driven half an hour and the kids seemed excited, so I took them all out for Pizza...and got really, really tired early.


Oh...and then, when we got back to my house....a real hot broad I'd been trying to get a date with was there, with a friend, visiting my roomate.....And I'm with Skeezo the Clown and the 2 circus midgets.


Yeah...that one sucked big time.

Donger
10-06-2006, 03:01 PM
I'm trying for the life of me to figure out how he could get such a thing without getting caught and having his ass whupped...

And you and Rain Man are reminding me of a good friend of mine back in college. Very bright guy, good looking, etc., who was apparently some kind of gay guy magnet. He didn't have too much trouble getting women either, but he had about 150 hilarious stories of shaking off gay guys who had propositioned him subtlely or overtly.

Last I remember of him he was heading off to DC to serve as a page or something. :doh!: (and yes, I'm serious, he was a Poli Sci major)

The picture was actually a positive negative that he apparently swiped from his father's collection. The image is seared into my mind, because he didn't just tell me; he showed me the picture and as I was studying it trying to figure out who it was, he says, "It's my Mom!"

I also don't think he was gay, but I'm not sure. Last I heard, he was married with kids. I think he was just one of those guys that was WAY over-sexed. That's all he talked about.

Halfcan
10-06-2006, 03:03 PM
They have all been worst dates lately-jeez are all women f#ckin crazy biatches nowdays??

Best date-went to 3 doors down concert and got a BJ on the way home, all the way down Truman road. A cop pulled up next to us at a red light, but could see anything because I was in a van. Of course she wants to be a bad girl because the pigs were next to us. She steps it up til I couldn't hold out any longer. I was drunk, gettin a BJ, and this cop is just staring at me wondering what the hell I was smiling about. He just shook his head and drove off-probably thought I was hitting on him or something.

Bwana
10-06-2006, 03:03 PM
The Worst:

I took this "girlfriend" out on a date. After the end of the night we go back to her place to play (well you know) This we going as planned when this loud WHAP comes from upstairs. I ask her what the hell was that? I have no idea she says. All of a sudden there were footsteps coming down the stairs and it is her ex boy friend. He went about 235 and was holding a tire iron. I had had time to throw on some pants, but that was about it. He asked where *** was, I look around and she had vanished. He told me to leave, I told him I wasn't going any place. He looked at me like I was nuts for not leaving and told me he was going to kill me. He takes the tire iron and starts destroying items in the room like mirrors, walls etc. I'm just standing back in the corner with a pencil in my hand. People that have had any self defense won't have to ask, those how haven't, think about it. All of a sudden *** magically appears from out of the closet. They get into a big pissing match with her standing there in her birthday suit. I'm thinking this is WAY WRONG, like two boy scouts in the same bunk wrong.

While I'm standing there in the corner in amazement, I hear yet more footsteps up stairs. I hear, Police! Tire iron boy slides the steel under the bed and tries to make a break for it past the cops...........wrong. They take him down and give him a couple of head knocks. I look at both of them a little closer and one of them is a friend of mine from high school. We step off to the side and I told him what went down. He assured me they would "take the "long way" down to the police station with a stop or two along the way to beat some sense into him. :)

Cops take off with tire iron boy and I ask girlfriend dearest what the fuvk that was all about? She claimed to have no idea. Needless to say, I called bullshit and kicked her to the curb on the spot.

A few months later I am walking through a bar in a little mountain town called Red Lodge about 60 miles from here and who should be sitting there on a bar stool.....you guessed it, tire iron boy. I walked up to him and said "do you remember me." He looked at me and all he could come up with was "oh shit." I hit him with a Round house kick upside the noggin and on the floor he goes, out like a light. I figured that was my cue to leave town befoe the cops showed up, which I did. I haven't seen him again. :D

gblowfish
10-06-2006, 03:23 PM
Worst dates almost always involve puking.
In junior high school I took my girlfriend to Worlds of Fun. It was a school thing, the whole school went. She ate a bunch of cotton candy and cokes and general amusement park crap. Then she wanted to go on a ride called the "Finnish Fling." If you've never heard of the "Finnish Fling." it was basically a round centrifical force chamber that spun like a top. The gravity would push you against the wall, and as it went round faster and faster, the floor drops away and you are pinned to the wall. Cool ride, unless you get dizzy real easy from spinning and spinning fast. My date turned green, did the big spit, and then the centrifical force pulled all the barf right back on her. Oh man, what a mess. At least she ralphed on herself. Terrible...Terrible.

One time in college I was invited by a girl to go camping with her out in rural Missouri. We'd never gone out before. She said, we'll share my tent. I'll have some friends there at the campsite, but they're cool. It'll be fun. OK, I thought. Tent, chick, weekend, great! So I went. Turned out her "friends" were her four brothers, all drunken biker dudes, none of them brought a date. I think they thought I was going to be the "entertainment" for the evening. So it's these four dudes, their little sister, and me. Yikes said Skippy. I got the hell outta there as soon as everybody passed out drunk. Can you say "Deliverance?"

Best dates:

I had a girlfriend in St. Louis who liked to park out by Lambert at this spot where the jets come in low for a landing. They'd come down maybe 200 feet over the top of the car, loud as hell. Jets made her frisky for some reason.

Back in the early 1980s I took a girl to a Grateful Dead concert at Municipal Auditorium in KC. Across the street was a Holiday Inn high rise hotel. We had an "altered" good time at the Dead Concert. A friend of mine had a room at the Holiday Inn, and invited us over for an after show party. He said he was on the 6th floor. By this time it was around Midnight. We got on the elevator, accidentally got off on the 5th floor which was the top level of the parking garage which was closed off to cars. The hotel was doing some rennovation, and had all this hotel stuff like tables, desks, chairs and stuff piled all over the place in the parking stalls. In one corner was stacks and stacks of mattresses. Like, 200 mattresses. So this girl pulls me over to the mattresses...and well, it was a special night in the parking garage. Saw the sun come up, carried her over my shoulder to the car and we drove home to Columbia. What a night.

Short Leash Hootie
10-06-2006, 03:25 PM
I don't know if I believe the last part, bwana...

Bwana
10-06-2006, 03:30 PM
I don't know if I believe the last part, bwana...

LOL, In spite of my charming boyish nature now, there was a time when I could get a tad nasty. :D I held a bit of a gurdge up to that point in time after the tire iron incident. I figured after that encounter, we were even.

stevieray
10-06-2006, 03:34 PM
I don't know if I believe the last part, bwana...

I do.

chiefsfaninNC
10-06-2006, 03:34 PM
I don't know if I believe the last part, bwana...


I believe him. I am quite sure Bwana would know him if he saw him again.

dirk digler
10-06-2006, 03:39 PM
Losing my virginity to a heifer in the back of her S-10.

PinkFloyd
10-06-2006, 04:12 PM
Worst Date: Thank God I've forgotten about it !!!

Best Date: A 6 pack of beer and a bottle of hand lotion !!!


:LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

Crashride
10-06-2006, 04:42 PM
Skeezo the clown!

Bwana
10-06-2006, 07:16 PM
I don't know if I believe the last part, bwana...

On a side note, that wasn't the only time I cracked a guy off a bar stool. I punched a guy off one as well and it was also for a damn good reason and to even a score. Talk was overrated for me in those days.

Count Zarth
10-07-2006, 12:56 AM
Bwana must wear a gun belt that carries a six-shooter...

Demonpenz
10-07-2006, 01:22 AM
this one date really sucked because i wore mesh shorts to the restaurant and they said I had to dress better to eat there. It was the best "big johnson" shirt i had and i was wearing nike shorts. WTF

Smed1065
10-07-2006, 02:59 AM
I went out with a gal once, who brought 2 friends. We did the bar with a band thing, and all night the girl was more than suggestive, and made some pretty filthy predictions of what I was to do to her, and I was fine with that. Her other friends were bitching all night about how horned up they were, to the point of annoying....I thought one was going to rub her arse on the floor like a dog in heat.

Anyhoooo....we go back to her place, of course friends in tow, as 1 was a roomate. Within a minute of being there, the date pulls this sack from beside the sofa and says "you'll never guess whats in here" I suggest its a hair dryer....wrong....she pulls out a giant pink weiner that took at least 3 hand over hands to remove from the bag.

I begin to think "self, you're going to tamp her like a fence post".....and I go back to take a leak.

I came out of the restroom after pissing and washing my hands....and in that timeframe, some other dude had arrived, and was banging the date on a washing machine 3' from the bathroom door.

you heard that right.....A guy arrived, entered the house, and entered her, within 2 minutes.

I alkwardly shuffled past to the living room to put my shoes on and leave, and the other 2 were there pulling out a sofa bed.

thats all I have to say about that.

You said what happened stayed there.

Thanks........

CHENZ A!
10-07-2006, 03:19 AM
Took her to the Levee, then the Motel 6. It was a good date in that sense, but bad, because she was a sweet/pretty girl that I pretty much ****ed it all up with after I blew her off. I'm an asshole.

tyton75
10-07-2006, 06:24 AM
I have no real horror stories to share like some of you.. but this is some good reading!

Bwana
10-07-2006, 06:51 AM
Bwana must wear a gun belt that carries a six-shooter...
To be honest, any time I am in the mountains hunting fishing or ATVing, I do. When I am on the road I have my Glock 20 10MM with the 15 round clips with various Corbon bullets. http://www.corbon.com/ ;)

scott free
10-07-2006, 07:01 AM
To be honest, any time I am in the mountains hunting fishing or ATVing, I do. When I am on the road I have my Glock 20 10MM with the 15 round clips with various Corbon bullets. http://www.corbon.com/ ;)
I would to roamin' round the Montana bush. I lived in Great Falls for 3 years as a kid. My ma's friend had a cabin in the Little Rock mountains and we seen black bear and mountain lion fairly regularly in the early 80's.

Bill Parcells
10-07-2006, 07:04 AM
To be honest, any time I am in the mountains hunting fishing or ATVing, I do. When I am on the road I have my Glock 20 10MM with the 15 round clips with various Corbon bullets. http://www.corbon.com/ ;)
Being the nosey bastard that I am..

That sounds like a hell of alot of fun!!!!

Did you grow up in Monatana???

scott free
10-07-2006, 07:13 AM
I would to roamin' round the Montana bush. I lived in Great Falls for 3 years as a kid. My ma's friend had a cabin in the Little Rock mountains and we seen black bear and mountain lion fairly regularly in the early 80's.
I guess i should qualify the mountain lion part, we seen one run across the road one day, but their tracks were always around the place.

DJay23
10-07-2006, 07:18 AM
'Bout a year ago, met a girl at a local coffee house. We chit chatted for about an hour till some kind of college jazz band came in. They were playing pretty loudly, so we decided to go to a bar next door. She told me that she didn't drink, but when we got there, she had a beer...then another...then another. She was slobbery by 11:00. She started trying to make out with me right there at the bar and then stuck her hand down my pants. I decided it was time to leave, so I took her back to my place and...well you can fill in the blanks. Sounds like I got her drunk and took home and screwed her, but actually she was the one who made all the moves, I just sat back and enjoyed the ride.

Worst date, I met a girl at a restaurant and we had some ok conversation at first, but eventually she started making very harsh comments about Catholicism and other things that interest me. Just an overall nasty attitude. I stopped talking, finished my food, and said, "later."

boogblaster
10-07-2006, 07:19 AM
worst.. was with my left hand Id broke my right one...best.. was after my right hand healed......

Count Zarth
10-07-2006, 07:42 AM
Worst date, I met a girl at a restaurant and we had some ok conversation at first, but eventually she started making very harsh comments about Catholicism

There's the woman for me.

Skip Towne
10-07-2006, 07:50 AM
A fun thread. With the usual cast of characters.

Bwana
10-07-2006, 07:51 AM
Being the nosey bastard that I am..

That sounds like a hell of alot of fun!!!!

Did you grow up in Monatana???

I've lived here all my live with the exception of one year in Alaska just out of high school.

KC Jones
10-07-2006, 07:56 AM
Best? Probably my first date with my wife. I took her to Boulevard cafe for tapas and some good spanish wine... then we went back to my place and sat out on the deck for a while looking up at the stars, listening to Van Morrison, drinking wine, and just talking. We made out a bit too, but she wasn't willing to give it up on a first date.

Worst? Probably when I invited a girl I had known in high school to my place for dinner after running into her at some parties. It was fairly obvious that she was just thinking hang out, not a romantic rendevous. Then my roomate came back to the house with some friends even though he knew I was having her over for dinner - killing what slim chances I did have for a hook up. It was just awkward all around and I was pissed off at my roomate so there was some underlying tension simmering in the background.

Bill Parcells
10-07-2006, 07:57 AM
I've lived here all my live with the exception of one year in Alaska just out of high school.
That sig is cool man!!!
I might have to go there!!!!

I have never been to Montana before..but I have been to the white mountains of New Hampshire..unreal scenery.Almost stepped in bear/moose shit(dont know which).stuff I have never seen before in my life(except for tv of course)

Bwana
10-07-2006, 08:12 AM
That sig is cool man!!!
I might have to go there!!!!

I have never been to Montana before..but I have been to the white mountains of New Hampshire..unreal scenery.Almost stepped in bear/moose shit(dont know which).stuff I have never seen before in my life(except for tv of course)

I don't want to turn this think into a poop thread but just image Google moose crap and bear crap. There is a big difference between the two. Moose looks exactly like deer only bigger, kind of an oval shape. Bear ranges from what looks like giant dog poop, to a literal pile of crap which is the case the majority of the time.

Bill Parcells
10-07-2006, 08:17 AM
I don't want to turn this think into a poop thread but just image Google moose crap and bear crap. There is a big difference between the two. Moose looks exactly like deer only bigger, kind of an oval shape. Bear ranges from what looks like giant dog poop, to a literal pile of crap which is the case the majority of the time.
It was bear shit..no search necessary

KC Jones
10-07-2006, 08:19 AM
Just rememberd another one - not a date really, just a shitty experience.

My older brother and some of his buddies and I were out partying one night and we ran into some drop dead chickas. One of them was particularly stunning, and my brother being the most accomplished pick up artist was on that, while I got the slightly less attractive one who we'll call Holly. It didn't go anywhere but had fun dancing, drinking, etc.

Flash forward 6 months and my brother and I are sharing a house with another guy and it turns out the roomates girlfriend was friends with Holly (they were both ballet dancers). She finds out I'm over there and decides to come over to see me. It was pretty obvious that she was coming over to get laid, my roomate's girlfriend made that pretty clear. I'm thinking sweet - a premium piece of tail is just going to drop into my lap tonight. She comes over, the roomate and his gal leave, and before anything else can happen my brother comes in the door. So we're all 3 hanging out and chatting it up... and it's getting later and later and later... and it's obvious she'll go for either of us, but one of us needs to bow out. So we're stuck in the stamina game and I have to work in the morning. About 4:00am I pack it in so I can go to work in the morning... and fall asleep listening to my older brother banging the piece of tail I was supposed to get. :(

It turned out ok though. He got into a relationship with her and she turned out to be totally psycho and wanting to get married so I guess there was some karma for him. Ugly break up too.

Bwana
10-07-2006, 08:22 AM
Ok, to kind of get back on topic, here is a "post dating" joke.

Marriage Counseling


A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,
painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15
years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unloveable, an entire laundry list
of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of
time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The
therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife
needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her
off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

Count Zarth
10-07-2006, 08:34 AM
To be honest, any time I am in the mountains hunting fishing or ATVing, I do. When I am on the road I have my Glock 20 10MM with the 15 round clips with various Corbon bullets. http://www.corbon.com/ ;)

Bwana...gentle Bwana.

King of the wild frontier.

...killed him a b'ar when he was only three...

And stuff.

Fried Meat Ball!
10-07-2006, 01:01 PM
My best date was going to chucky cheese with your mom, playing skeeball, and then followed by a slurpie

Bwana
10-07-2006, 01:31 PM
Bwana...gentle Bwana.

King of the wild frontier.

...killed him a b'ar when he was only three...

And stuff.

Hush your pie hole and go fetch Bwana a nice cool beer. :BLVD:

Iowanian
10-07-2006, 08:19 PM
I think you could have answered this in a more simple manner.

Moose dung will have residual grass, berries, water plants of various varieties contained within the dook.

Bear duke will contain residuals of berries and plant residue.....and moose hair.


I don't want to turn this think into a poop thread but just image Google moose crap and bear crap. There is a big difference between the two. Moose looks exactly like deer only bigger, kind of an oval shape. Bear ranges from what looks like giant dog poop, to a literal pile of crap which is the case the majority of the time.

Skip Towne
10-07-2006, 08:25 PM
I don't want to turn this think into a poop thread but just image Google moose crap and bear crap. There is a big difference between the two. Moose looks exactly like deer only bigger, kind of an oval shape. Bear ranges from what looks like giant dog poop, to a literal pile of crap which is the case the majority of the time.
I thought deer pooped pellets like goats. They are cousins, you know.

Halfcan
10-07-2006, 08:26 PM
I think you could have answered this in a more simple manner.

Moose dung will have residual grass, berries, water plants of various varieties contained within the dook.

Bear duke will contain residuals of berries and plant residue.....and moose hair.

Nice analysis-do they taste different too?

boogblaster
10-07-2006, 11:20 PM
Both leave a shi**y after-taste ....

Bill Parcells
10-08-2006, 12:11 AM
I think you could have answered this in a more simple manner.

Moose dung will have residual grass, berries, water plants of various varieties contained within the dook.

Bear duke will contain residuals of berries and plant residue.....and moose hair.
Enough!!!!

Stop picking on my buddy Bwana!!!!!!

I asked the stupid question!!!! :D

Mecca
10-08-2006, 12:17 AM
Just rememberd another one - not a date really, just a shitty experience.

My older brother and some of his buddies and I were out partying one night and we ran into some drop dead chickas. One of them was particularly stunning, and my brother being the most accomplished pick up artist was on that, while I got the slightly less attractive one who we'll call Holly. It didn't go anywhere but had fun dancing, drinking, etc.

Flash forward 6 months and my brother and I are sharing a house with another guy and it turns out the roomates girlfriend was friends with Holly (they were both ballet dancers). She finds out I'm over there and decides to come over to see me. It was pretty obvious that she was coming over to get laid, my roomate's girlfriend made that pretty clear. I'm thinking sweet - a premium piece of tail is just going to drop into my lap tonight. She comes over, the roomate and his gal leave, and before anything else can happen my brother comes in the door. So we're all 3 hanging out and chatting it up... and it's getting later and later and later... and it's obvious she'll go for either of us, but one of us needs to bow out. So we're stuck in the stamina game and I have to work in the morning. About 4:00am I pack it in so I can go to work in the morning... and fall asleep listening to my older brother banging the piece of tail I was supposed to get. :(

It turned out ok though. He got into a relationship with her and she turned out to be totally psycho and wanting to get married so I guess there was some karma for him. Ugly break up too.

Your brother.......sounds like a dick. I'd have keyed his car or something then broke his nose.

Halfcan
10-08-2006, 12:25 AM
My worst date ever....

I partied with these blond budweiser beach girls out at the casino after a big promo they were doing-they were hot and the three of them were sisters. Well anyway, they were all over me so I figured we better take this somewhere more appropriate.

So when we got to the discount motel, things started getting crazy-I was like damm at least shut the door and let me get inside the room. After a wild night where they used me like a cheap hooker-I realized the battery was dead on the camcorder.

Don't you just hate when that happens-ruined my whole weekend.

Macroach
10-08-2006, 12:50 AM
Losing my virginity to a heifer in the back of her S-10.

So was that the best or the worst?

Short Leash Hootie
10-08-2006, 03:45 AM
My worst date ever....

I partied with these blond budweiser beach girls out at the casino after a big promo they were doing-they were hot and the three of them were sisters. Well anyway, they were all over me so I figured we better take this somewhere more appropriate.

So when we got to the discount motel, things started getting crazy-I was like damm at least shut the door and let me get inside the room. After a wild night where they used me like a cheap hooker-I realized the battery was dead on the camcorder.

Don't you just hate when that happens-ruined my whole weekend.
I bet that happened...

Hahahahahaha

Halfcan, you're gay

Skip Towne
10-08-2006, 05:23 AM
My worst date ever....

I partied with these blond budweiser beach girls out at the casino after a big promo they were doing-they were hot and the three of them were sisters. Well anyway, they were all over me so I figured we better take this somewhere more appropriate.

So when we got to the discount motel, things started getting crazy-I was like damm at least shut the door and let me get inside the room. After a wild night where they used me like a cheap hooker-I realized the battery was dead on the camcorder.

Don't you just hate when that happens-ruined my whole weekend.
Why didn't you just jump start it off another camcorder?

Bwana
10-08-2006, 08:17 AM
Bear duke will contain residuals of berries and plant residue.....and moose hair.You forgot pepper spray and tree huggers. :evil:

BucEyedPea
10-08-2006, 08:27 AM
Bwana,
You sound like a scarey date. I wouldn't wanna pid you off.
You havent' buried any former dates out in the Montana woods have ya'?

Bwana
10-08-2006, 08:28 AM
Bwana,
You sound like a scarey date. I wouldn't wanna pid you off.
You havent' buried any former dates out in the Montana woods have ya'?

LOL: dates.......................no. ;)

Bill Parcells
10-08-2006, 08:33 AM
You fogot pepper spray and tree huggers. :evil:
That aint no black bear bro..thats either a grizzly or a kodiak!!! :p

Bwana
10-08-2006, 08:34 AM
That aint no black bear bro..thats either a grizzly or a kodiak!!! :p

I wasn't talking about black bears, hell those things are teddy bears. :)

Bill Parcells
10-08-2006, 08:38 AM
I wasn't talking about black bears, hell those things are teddy bears. :)
I saw one of them(black bear) in New Hampshire from far away..and at first I thought it was a dog..and then I almost had a brown eye in the back of my pants when it started getting closer :D

BucEyedPea
10-08-2006, 08:41 AM
I saw one of them(black bear) in New Hampshire from far away..and at first I thought it was a dog..and then I almost had a brown eye in the back of my pants when it started getting closer :D

We'd see 'em in Maine, when river-rafting. I use to run for the car and lock the door. I figured it couldn't manage the locks. :p We got coyote here. I stopped food shopping at night.

Bill Parcells
10-08-2006, 08:44 AM
We'd see 'em in Maine, when river-rafting. I use to run for the car and lock the door. I figured it couldn't manage the locks. :p We got coyote here. I stopped food shopping at night.
ROFL ROFL

Adept Havelock
10-08-2006, 09:21 AM
LOL: dates.......................no. ;)

:LOL: