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tk13
10-06-2006, 02:06 PM
His last four picks of the week in his column are the AFC West games, pretty entertaining...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/061006

CARDS (+3) over Chiefs
You probably stopped taping "Inside the NFL" because they don't run highlights for every game and it's so frustrating to watch Collinsworth moderate a debate with Carter and Marino when he knows more about the 2006 teams than both of them combined. And that's fine. But check out this week's show just for the bizarre Larry Johnson segment -- he's more emotionally fragile than a pregnant 14-year-old. The KC coaches spend the entire game alternately hugging him and consoling him. It's crazy. After the Chiefs won the game, I thought Herm Edwards was going to reward him with cotton candy and a new Transformer. You have to see it. I can't take the Chiefs for at least one week after seeing that.


49ERS (-3.5) over Raiders
Wait, the Raiders are getting 3 against a team that lost 41-0 last week? Please tell me somebody is writing a book about them. Did you know offensive coordinator Tom Walsh was operating a bed-and-breakfast when they hired him? A bed-and-breakfast! Last year at this time, his biggest concern was whether they were going to run out of pastries and jam for the first foliage weekend in October. Now, he's drawing up plays and breaking down NFL defenses. No wonder Randy Moss doesn't care anymore. Unbelievable.

That reminds me, my two favorite Art Shell e-mails of the week:

1. Ben from San Jose: "Thanks for the tip on the Art Shell Era. He might convince me to give gambling a try."

2. Bri from Indiana: "My buddy Ty and I have ongoing discussions about how Shell would do in other jobs, like as a deli manager, or manager of the Oakland A's. I contend that he would stand utterly still, with a headset on, in every situation, while things unraveled around him. For example, as a deli manager he'd stare blankly out at the oncoming lunch crowd as the deli ran out of cold cuts that he forgot to order. Don't you think this could be a show, something like 'The Shell Situation,' where they just move Art around to a bunch of different jobs to see if he really reacts the same way to everything? I'm sure Fox or MTV already has the rights to it though."

Randy probably wishes this season was over already.(I love this idea. One week, he could be the executive producer of a talk show. The next week, he could be the bouncer in a bar. It would never get old. Although I'd be just as happy with a show where Art screws up replay challenges every week. And I think that's a realistic hope.)


CHARGERS (-3) over Steelers
On Sunday, the Chargers were looking good against the Ravens and I turned to my buddy Sal and said, "You ready to hop on the Chargers bandwagon yet?" Within two seconds (no joke), Rivers threw that killer interception to let Baltimore back in the game. It was uncanny.

Anyway, I'd love to pile on Marty this week; nobody has coached more games when they resembled a Ken doll anatomically. But he did the right thing this time: Rivers wasn't quite ready for a game like that, and they couldn't kill his confidence this early in the season. So Marty kept it close to the vest and tried to protect the lead with his D (and it almost worked). I'm not killing him on that one. All things considered, this is still the best AFC team. The Chargers will prove it Sunday night.

(Note: Not everyone is sold. Disgruntled San Diego fan Dominic wonders, "Can you think of any analogies where the Martyball concept can be applied outside of football? What about folding a $500 pot when you're $5 from all-in because you're afraid someone will get you on the river? Working the machine for a walk in a batting cage? Five-hitting your way to a 19, then surrendering because the dealer is showing a face card? Landing a three-way with the Olsen twins, only to have them walk out because you fell asleep halfway through?")


BRONCOS (-4) over Ravens
Four predictions for this one:

1. Air McNair gets fully exposed. He has played four decent minutes in the past two weeks. You can't pull that crap against a defense like Denver's.

2. Once the Broncos get a lead, Shanahan won't ask Plummer to do anything. And I mean, anything. He'll do the same thing Marty did last week.

3. You will hear a lot of barely audible "IN-COM-PLETE" chants on your TV.

4. Mike Tirico officially starts to look like one of the kids from "The Squid and the Whale."

BigChiefFan
10-06-2006, 02:09 PM
I don't agree with alot of what was said, but it was entertaining.

tk13
10-06-2006, 02:11 PM
I haven't seen the Inside the NFL clip, I want to see it now.

Halfcan
10-06-2006, 02:12 PM
Cards beating us-was the guy on crack when he wrote that.

Keep F#ckin doubting our Defense dumbazz!

NewChief
10-06-2006, 02:13 PM
Hey, he went from diapers to Transformers in a couple of years. He's making progress.

TrickyNicky
10-06-2006, 02:18 PM
We've known he's insecure for a while now. He is just pissed.

tk13
10-06-2006, 02:18 PM
Looking at the schedule, Inside the NFL will be on HBO...7 pm ET tonight, 4:20 am ET and 11 am ET Saturday.

Count Alex's Losses
10-06-2006, 02:21 PM
****ing idiot.

|Zach|
10-06-2006, 02:22 PM
I gotta say. It was a strange thing to see.

StcChief
10-06-2006, 02:24 PM
Cards are getting the home field automatic +3.....
It wont' be that close.....We win by at least 10.

Chargers at home yes.

SF vs. Raiders pickup IMO
but SF should beat the east bay convicts.

HemiEd
10-06-2006, 02:27 PM
"Can you think of any analogies where the Martyball concept can be applied outside of football? What about folding a $500 pot when you're $5 from all-in because you're afraid someone will get you on the river? Working the machine for a walk in a batting cage? Five-hitting your way to a 19, then surrendering because the dealer is showing a face card? Landing a three-way with the Olsen twins, only to have them walk out because you fell asleep halfway through?

ROFL

I just heard an interview with Marty defending his actions. He said they do not award style points.

morphius
10-06-2006, 02:31 PM
I gotta say. It was a strange thing to see.
It just reminded me that he runs angry. People want him to be happy, but from his own interview he isn't happy when he is playing and he doesn't care to be. Happy is not the way that he plays. It is odd, but almost expected from the people paying attention.

Count Alex's Losses
10-06-2006, 02:32 PM
Cards are getting the home field automatic +3.....
.

We're favored, actually.

Crashride
10-06-2006, 02:32 PM
The fact of the matter is Larry is more dedicated and hard on himself than any other back in the NFL. Those "fragile" moments are him wanting to do something great and striving every play to make it happen. He was the number 1 pick in everyones fantasy team because of the numbers he produces. Hes used to producing those numbers and with the line he has now he might get a little frustrated but I tell you what no one has more heart. Plus he makes it sound like thats the only reason he took the cards over the chiefs...and he talks about marino not knowing what hes talking about.

Baby Lee
10-06-2006, 02:41 PM
4. Mike Tirico officially starts to look like one of the kids from "The Squid and the Whale."
I hope he wasn't referring to the one who jacked off in the library and wiped his spunk on the stacks. :Lin:

Cormac
10-06-2006, 02:50 PM
That was an entertaining read. That line about Marty "working the machine for a walk in a batting cage" is classic.

LMAO

Bob Dole
10-06-2006, 02:50 PM
I haven't seen the Inside the NFL clip, I want to see it now.

There's a torrent of it floating around here somewhere.

CupidStunt
10-06-2006, 04:09 PM
All they did was keep in motivated. Like coaches don't do that across the league? Gimme a f'ing break.

HolmeZz
10-06-2006, 04:10 PM
LARRY JOHNSON

ROBOT IN DISGUISE

tiptap
10-06-2006, 04:10 PM
uhhh do you think he just want LJ mad enough to put a performance out on this Sunday.

Mr. Laz
10-06-2006, 04:14 PM
The fact of the matter is Larry is more dedicated and hard on himself than any other back in the NFL.
:spock:

link?

Crashride
10-06-2006, 05:44 PM
:spock:

link?

DL the torrent. Hes one of a kind

wazu
10-06-2006, 05:48 PM
Simmons is spot on. That piece on Inside the NFL was disturbing. (And yes, I also stopped recording this show for the same reasons he stated. It just happened to be on the other night and I watched it to see LJ miked up.)

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-06-2006, 05:54 PM
Simmons is spot on. That piece on Inside the NFL was disturbing. (And yes, I also stopped recording this show for the same reasons he stated. It just happened to be on the other night and I watched it to see LJ miked up.)

In Larry's defense, you have to a have something a little off with you to play professional football. Yeah you get a lot of money, but it is a bit of a sadistic job.

Count Alex's Losses
10-06-2006, 05:57 PM
I really hate how everyone in the media sucks off Shaun Alexander and LaDainian Tomlinson and gives Larry almost no credit whatsoever.

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-06-2006, 05:59 PM
I really hate how everyone in the media sucks off Shaun Alexander and LaDainian Tomlinson and gives Larry almost no credit whatsoever.

I agree with you, but at the same time, it helps to keep his ego in check and it motivates him to be a better player (especially since he uses anger as such a great motivator).

Ari Chi3fs
10-06-2006, 07:00 PM
where is the torrent?

Count Alex's Losses
10-06-2006, 07:01 PM
Rewatch the Chiefs Niners game & make belive they scored 10 points

Archie F. Swin
10-06-2006, 07:22 PM
this guy is a freaking genious!

Chan93lx50
10-06-2006, 07:56 PM
It was just typical coach motivation, LJ was pissed because he could not break on free and they kept telling him to keep on pounding the rock and it will happen!

They are making something out of nothing

ArrowheadHawk
10-06-2006, 08:01 PM
keep f'n doubting lj

wazu
10-06-2006, 08:28 PM
It was just typical coach motivation...

This was way, way more than that. My wife was in the room and neither of us could believe it. I was embarrassed for him, and almost more embarrassed for the coaches that were coddling him. If it would have just been one guy doing it a couple of times, I'd be inclined to think nothing of it. But it wasn't. Half the damn team and coaches had to console him...WHILE WE WERE BEATING THE LIVING HELL OUT OF THE 49ERS!

And to those citing the "anger is his motivator" defense - then why is there a need to hug and console him all day? Why not just let him sit there and fume about it? Seems like calming him down would hurt his "motivation".

I'd like to believe it was all out of context, but it was just really weird.

wazu
10-06-2006, 08:30 PM
In Larry's defense, you have to a have something a little off with you to play professional football. Yeah you get a lot of money, but it is a bit of a sadistic job.

I'm hoping that's all it is. Larry is a great runner. If he's insane, and it helps him, then fine. I won't care as long as he keeps racking up the yards and TDs.

Short Leash Hootie
10-06-2006, 08:33 PM
dude, they made a lot out of a little. I was excited to watch this, I DVR'd it...I wanted to see something...what I saw was absolutley nothing. Who cares? He was having a tough game and the coaches were giving him a little motivation...what the hell is wrong with that?

Rain Man
10-06-2006, 08:49 PM
Anyway, I'd love to pile on Marty this week; nobody has coached more games when they resembled a Ken doll anatomically. But he did the right thing this time: Rivers wasn't quite ready for a game like that, and they couldn't kill his confidence this early in the season. So Marty kept it close to the vest and tried to protect the lead with his D (and it almost worked). I'm not killing him on that one. All things considered, this is still the best AFC team. The Chargers will prove it Sunday night.

So this guy thinks that that strategy was something Marty cooked up for this game? Perhaps he thinks that Marty was just practicing for this game for the last 20 years.

mdstu
10-06-2006, 09:03 PM
qoute/it's so frustrating to watch Collinsworth moderate a debate with Carter and Marino when he knows more about the 2006 teams than both of them combined./qoute

I know most of you hate Collinsworth, but the dude does his homework and knows his football. When I was doing some serious gambling in the early to mid 90's, I always listened to him every week. I always found it funny how he always dominated everyone on the win/loss picks.

He says some dumb stuff, but he makes alot of people around him seem like they don't even watch football.

milkman
10-06-2006, 09:06 PM
So this guy thinks that that strategy was something Marty cooked up for this game? Perhaps he thinks that Marty was just practicing for this game for the last 20 years.

Actually, I think he addressed the issue of Marty being conservative over the years with one of the best lines I've ever seen to describe his style.

I'd love to pile on Marty this week; nobody has coached more games when they resembled a Ken doll anatomically.

LMAO

Crashride
10-06-2006, 09:57 PM
Larrys got so much pressure coming from other people let alone himself, the offense lost many key players so he has to carry the team, he is the face of the chiefs now...I think hes aloud to be pissed at himself for not producing...

Marcellus
10-06-2006, 11:03 PM
dude, they made a lot out of a little. I was excited to watch this, I DVR'd it...I wanted to see something...what I saw was absolutley nothing. Who cares? He was having a tough game and the coaches were giving him a little motivation...what the hell is wrong with that?

I agree,I watched it expecting to see something crazy and saw what probably happens on any sideline when a premier runner has a tough day.

tk13
10-07-2006, 04:02 AM
Well I saw it, that was interesting. Not too bad, although there were a couple parts where I thought I was watching a bad SNL skit or something.

Rausch
10-07-2006, 04:19 AM
So LJ's crazy because he couldn't get going early and got pissed off.

He keeps running like Jim Brown and the media keeps acting like he's Jim Brown.

I'm ok with that...

Smed1065
10-07-2006, 04:25 AM
I hope we win but maNy homers here I SEE.

CARDNInals are pissed and at home. I hate to lose but it might be worth it for the people here. You are stupid to dimiss AZ. IMO.

runnercyclist
10-07-2006, 05:05 AM
His last four picks of the week in his column are the AFC West games, pretty entertaining...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/061006


Funny but wrong, IMHO, on all but the Denver game.

blueballs
10-07-2006, 12:21 PM
I can't help but think after seeing this
that Vermeil was right on the money
with the diaper comment

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-07-2006, 12:27 PM
I hope we win but maNy homers here I SEE.

CARDNInals are pissed and at home. I hate to lose but it might be worth it for the people here. You are stupid to dimiss AZ. IMO.

A complete dismissal is taking them too lightly...however...they have a terrible, terrible O-line, and they have a rookie QB making his first start who isn't going to have much help from his running game. They have a substandard defense, and the only team they have beaten are the 49ers at home, a team they beat by a single score who we beat by 41.

Deberg_1990
10-07-2006, 12:33 PM
You are stupid to dimiss AZ. IMO.

Its pretty hard not to dimiss a franchise run as bad as the Cards. They havent made the playoffs since 1998 and before that like 1986??


Just a horrible owner and franchise. Being a Royals fan, i can certainly relate.

TN_Chief
10-07-2006, 01:42 PM
On any given Sunday...

You should never overlook/dismiss an opponent, regardless of how bad they're perceived to be. A team that's truly destined for a championship, in any sport at any level, knows this.

Earthling
10-07-2006, 01:50 PM
Hmm..Cards by 3...Id take 2 and bet $500 in a heartbeat

TRR
10-07-2006, 04:13 PM
Anyone know where you can find this clip of LJ? Torrent, or possibly on youtube? Let us all know as I am interested in watching it.

Short Leash Hootie
10-07-2006, 04:14 PM
Just search the word "torrent" and you'll find it on the first page...

Short Leash Hootie
10-07-2006, 04:15 PM
here, I did it for you, you're welcome...

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=149079&highlight=torrent

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-07-2006, 10:41 PM
Just watched this...my god they are making a mountain out of a molehill. I drop more f-bombs than that when I struggle in Madden...

Short Leash Hootie
10-07-2006, 10:41 PM
exactly what I said.

I like Simmons...but I can't believe he got me all psyched to watch this. It was nothing.