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View Full Version : Once you become Amish....


Archie F. Swin
10-16-2006, 11:17 AM
...what will your fondest modern world memory be?

(poll forthcoming)

Easy 6
10-16-2006, 11:19 AM
Our Super Bowl win................ehh...wait a sec...i wasnt born yet :banghead:

jidar
10-16-2006, 11:20 AM
phone sex with your mother

Easy 6
10-16-2006, 11:21 AM
phone sex with your mother
Save that crap for trolls STFU

Fire Me Boy!
10-16-2006, 11:21 AM
A conference call orgy with your and jidar's mothers. :p

4th and Long
10-16-2006, 11:24 AM
Q: What do you call an Amish guy who has his arm shoved half way up a horse's butt?

A: A mechanic.

Kyle401
10-16-2006, 11:35 AM
A conference call orgy with your and jidar's mothers. :p

Control thy lusts Yoder!

Dartgod
10-16-2006, 12:22 PM
WHY IS BEER NOT ON THIS LIST?!?

Phobia
10-16-2006, 12:23 PM
WHY IS BEER NOT ON THIS LIST?!?

Cuz Amish totally drink beer. How else can you explain reproduction?

Mr. Laz
10-16-2006, 12:24 PM
WHY IS BEER NOT ON THIS LIST?!?
can't amish have beer?


i thought it was just any electric that was banned.

Hoover
10-16-2006, 12:28 PM
GAZ

kepp
10-16-2006, 12:33 PM
Bowling!
http://media.movieweb.com/galleries/1711/1068/lo/co8.jpg

Wile_E_Coyote
10-16-2006, 12:33 PM
What is the sect that allows vehicles, usually black with no or little chrome. They dress the same but are more tolerant of the modern world

edit: mennonite

Baby Lee
10-16-2006, 12:34 PM
Yeah, the Amish sidle up to 7-11 in their buggies and straight ruin the liquor shelves on Saturday night.

Dartgod
10-16-2006, 12:39 PM
can't amish have beer?.
They better or I ain't going!

Rain Man
10-16-2006, 01:58 PM
I had no idea that the Amish don't allow Gaz.


I bet at some point the Amish find a loophole in their rules to allow Internet use, just like the Jewish have found loopholes to operate machinery on Saturday. At some point, some savvy clergyperson says, "You know, if we interpret it this way..."

seclark
10-16-2006, 02:09 PM
well groomed beavers
sec

JBucc
10-16-2006, 02:14 PM
You know, I never thought about the heating or cooling. And what happens if one gets sick? Are they allowed modern medicine or to have x-rays or MRI's?

Rain Man
10-16-2006, 02:19 PM
I've never figured out what they can and can't have. I've heard people say that they won't use electricity, but they will use electric power tools.

And more important, I have no idea why they set the rules that they do. What's the big deal about the mid-19th century? Why do they stop development there? Why not the 16th century, and let them all run around in powdered wigs and tights? Or the fourth century, and have them all wear togas? I don't get it.

Phobia
10-16-2006, 02:19 PM
You know, I never thought about the heating or cooling. And what happens if one gets sick? Are they allowed modern medicine or to have x-rays or MRI's?

They usually die during the 2 day ambulance journey to the hospital.

http://www.majordisaster.fsnet.co.uk/d_%20canada_98/d_amish_stock/70_amish_buggy.jpg

vailpass
10-16-2006, 02:22 PM
They usually die during the 2 day ambulance journey to the hospital.


ROFL

Simplex3
10-16-2006, 02:23 PM
If it's true that I won't be able to shave that will suck. Other than that I'd be cool. I don't need any of this crap.

Rain Man
10-16-2006, 02:25 PM
Perhaps there's an Amish bulletin board site where we can ask the Amish these questions.

Simplex3
10-16-2006, 02:30 PM
Perhaps there's an Amish bulletin board site where we can ask the Amish these questions.
See, this is where the Buddhists have the Amish beat hands down. They HAVE bulletin boards and stuff.

Rain Man
10-16-2006, 02:35 PM
See, this is where the Buddhists have the Amish beat hands down. They HAVE bulletin boards and stuff.

I thought the Buddhist boards only existed transcendentally.

I think I found an Amish board, but it's never had a post on it.

Baby Lee
10-16-2006, 02:48 PM
I've never figured out what they can and can't have. I've heard people say that they won't use electricity, but they will use electric power tools.

And more important, I have no idea why they set the rules that they do. What's the big deal about the mid-19th century? Why do they stop development there? Why not the 16th century, and let them all run around in powdered wigs and tights? Or the fourth century, and have them all wear togas? I don't get it.
I don't think it's about electricity or the internal combustion engine, or modern contraptions in themselves.
They don't per se ban these things as evil, so much as they eschew them in favor of interpersonal reliance.
Basically they see modern conveniences as impersonal and ostentatious, while their lifestyle is centered on humility and social interaction [among themselves].
That's why they have rumsprigga, lets the teens decide for themselves if they prefer the modern life, or at least taste it to further cement the good qualities of their chosen life.

Simplex3
10-16-2006, 04:27 PM
That's why they have rumsprigga, lets the teens decide for themselves if they prefer the modern life, or at least taste it to further cement the good qualities of their chosen life.
You have to admire a way of life which allows their kids the ability to seek out other lifestyles and judge for themselves.

Rain Man
10-16-2006, 04:31 PM
I don't think it's about electricity or the internal combustion engine, or modern contraptions in themselves.
They don't per se ban these things as evil, so much as they eschew them in favor of interpersonal reliance.
Basically they see modern conveniences as impersonal and ostentatious, while their lifestyle is centered on humility and social interaction [among themselves].
That's why they have rumsprigga, lets the teens decide for themselves if they prefer the modern life, or at least taste it to further cement the good qualities of their chosen life.

Y'know, to be honest, I'm looking at that list of stuff and I wouldn't mind living without all of them 99 percent of the time. It might not be good for my material wealth, but it would probably improve my quality of life. Maybe the Amish are onto something.

I would just need the rest of you to keep developing weapons so the terrorists don't take over.

Baby Lee
10-16-2006, 04:34 PM
Y'know, to be honest, I'm looking at that list of stuff and I wouldn't mind living without all of them 99 percent of the time. It might not be good for my material wealth, but it would probably improve my quality of life. Maybe the Amish are onto something.

I would just need the rest of you to keep developing weapons so the terrorists don't take over.
Yeah, there are some intriguing aspects. But a life oblivious to the saga of Dawson and Pacey is a life I don't want to live.

Rain Man
10-16-2006, 04:37 PM
Yeah, there are some intriguing aspects. But a life oblivious to the saga of Dawson and Pacey is a life I don't want to live.

My biggest worry would be that reading the box scores of the Chiefs games wouldn't be as satisfying as watching them on TV.

Simplex3
10-16-2006, 04:42 PM
My biggest worry would be that reading the box scores of the Chiefs games wouldn't be as satisfying as watching them on TV.
You could still go to the games, right?

Rain Man
10-16-2006, 04:47 PM
You could still go to the games, right?

Good point. And my savings on utility bills, cable, and internet would more than pay for the tickets.

How long does it take to cross Kansas on a horse?

Easy 6
10-16-2006, 04:52 PM
I have nothing against the Amish but i delivered cabinetry making supplies to a large Amish community in Arthur, Ill for 3 years and the one thing i'll never forget is the smells in their houses........a mixture of pickling spices and body odor. I also saw no more than 3 reasonably attractive women in those 3 years.

blueballs
10-16-2006, 06:37 PM
money
the money goes to the church
they pay no taxes

Dartgod
10-16-2006, 06:40 PM
My biggest worry would be that reading the box scores of the Chiefs games wouldn't be as satisfying as watching them on TV.
Nor as infuriating.

gblowfish
10-16-2006, 06:42 PM
I'd like to see an Amish "V-Dub: Pimp My Ride" commercial.

Blackened
10-16-2006, 07:00 PM
They have porn right?

vailpass
10-16-2006, 07:05 PM
You get to bowl and smoke and drink at the bowling alley. And Blues Traveller comes over and jams at your barn raisings. That's something at least.

CHENZ A!
10-16-2006, 07:31 PM
You get to bowl and smoke and drink at the bowling alley. And Blues Traveller comes over and jams at your barn raisings. That's something at least.

All any of us really know about Amish for sure is from the movie Kingpin. LMAO

CHENZ A!
10-16-2006, 07:35 PM
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uHVMwf2Ozds"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uHVMwf2Ozds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

Awww damn. forgot all about this. ROFL "We sell quilts at discount price!"

Archie F. Swin
10-16-2006, 09:45 PM
no love for the light bulb, hmmm

Ultra Peanut
10-16-2006, 09:50 PM
I most certainly would never do such a thing.

Rain Man
10-16-2006, 11:28 PM
They have porn right?

Yeah, but it's on tintype.

Rising Sun
10-16-2006, 11:33 PM
Cuz Amish totally drink beer. How else can you explain reproduction?

Good point. It would probably help to have a few beers before you go to bed with the wife, considering they typically marry someone from their family anyway.

Skip Towne
10-16-2006, 11:34 PM
I had no idea that the Amish don't allow Gaz.


I bet at some point the Amish find a loophole in their rules to allow Internet use, just like the Jewish have found loopholes to operate machinery on Saturday. At some point, some savvy clergyperson says, "You know, if we interpret it this way..."
Hahaha. You've been watching this game for awhile haven't you? I'll bet Oral Roberts has more contempt for the intellect of the general public than PT Barnum.

Rising Sun
10-16-2006, 11:36 PM
maybe i should watch my comments.. just in case an amish guy reads them and takes offense...

ChiefaRoo
10-17-2006, 12:32 AM
This thread is like eating retard sandwiches.

Archie F. Swin
10-17-2006, 08:41 AM
'twas my attempt at distracting planeteers from the sports news of the week.

Dartgod
10-17-2006, 08:45 AM
All any of us really know about Amish for sure is from the movie Kingpin. LMAO
And Witness...

Sully
10-17-2006, 08:57 AM
And Witness...

And City Market.
(mmmm... pumpkin bread...)

Fire Me Boy!
10-17-2006, 09:07 AM
And Witness...
I learned not to honk at the horse buggies... you never know when Harrison Ford is going to get out and beat the tar out of you.

boogblaster
10-17-2006, 09:30 AM
dont mess with motherstinkpoo....