View Full Version : Funny Air Traffic - Pilot Conversations

10-16-2006, 06:00 PM
Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,...... and I didn't land."

There are more here. http://freshvideo.blogspot.com/2006/10/funny-conversations.html

10-16-2006, 06:02 PM
I know this reads a little like an -email forward, but I thought a few of them were funny enough to warrant posting.

10-17-2006, 10:18 AM
ROFL , jk I don't get it....

10-17-2006, 11:19 AM
ROFL , jk I don't get it....WWII bombing run

10-21-2006, 10:18 AM
I was an air traffic controller for ten years until the FAA strike of 1981. I remember a couple phrases that I used more than once for pilots that couldn't follow taxi instructions. When telling a pilot to turn right next taxiway and they would turn left the wrong way, I would say "turn right, your other right", or "your turning left, put the rock in your other hand."

When working in the control tower at St. Petersburg/Clearwater Airport I saw a few weird things. One day a very fast moving Citation Jet didn't make his first call for landing until he was already on downwind for the runway, he should of contacted approach control or the tower at least five miles out. I was getting ready to chew him out once he got on the ground but after he landed and rolled out he pulled up on the taxiway next to an Aerostar that had landed just in front of them. The crew jumped out of the Citation with guns pulled and arrested the Aerostar pilot right on the taxiway. Apparently they were smuggling 150 pounds of grass and apologized for calling in late but said they were following the Aerostar in the air and didn't realize he was coming in for landing until he was so near the airport.

On another ocassion I remember a Cessna taxied in after landing and parked on the ramp not far from the tower so I could see what they were doing. They took what appeared like a dead body out of the aircraft and laid it right on the ramp. We called the operator on the ramp to find out what was going on, and they said a U.S. citizen had died in the Bahamas and they went down to pick up the body to bring it back for burial. They took out the backseat of the aircraft and it was laying on the cabin floor but was beginning to stink up the aircraft so it put it on the ramp until a vehicle showed up. Unfortunately they didn't have a body bag or found it necessary to cover the body, very weird.

Since our control tower was very near the ramp I was able to meet a few famous pilots, it we had enough staffing we would slip away for a few moments. I met golfer Arnold Palmer, attorney F. Lee Bailey, racer Donnie Allison and TV host Arthur Godfrey, who I helped with his luggage. Godfrey came in during the middle of the night flying a Baron, a very fast twin, he was by himself and was up in years, probably in his late 60's. Nobody from the ramp service came out so myself and another controller helped him get out of the plane and carry his bags, he was partially crippled and could hardly get around. I found it amazing he was flying such a fast aircraft by himself at night at his age.

10-21-2006, 11:59 AM
Here's a cool site: