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View Full Version : How was today's dump?


sedated
10-19-2006, 03:17 PM
So, how did it feel?

sedated
10-19-2006, 03:18 PM
Mine came a little later than usual.

But it was clean and quick, and left me some nice post-defication euphoria

Lzen
10-19-2006, 03:18 PM
greasy

Kyle401
10-19-2006, 03:18 PM
Still waiting...

Bill Parcells
10-19-2006, 03:18 PM
I had a 5 star bowel movement this morning,a one wiper..with lil to no residue :)

ChiTown
10-19-2006, 03:21 PM
My 9am appointment seems to be running a little late. Very disturbing.......................and uncomfortable.

Halfcan
10-19-2006, 03:22 PM
TMI

sedated
10-19-2006, 03:22 PM
My 9am appointment seems to be running a little late. Very disturbing.......................and uncomfortable.

maybe it's time to break out...the device

Halfcan
10-19-2006, 03:22 PM
I don't give a big stinky shit about your shit.

sedated
10-19-2006, 03:23 PM
a one wiper..with lil to no residue :)

I would hope a "one wiper" implies "little to no residue"

booyaf2
10-19-2006, 03:25 PM
Much like the consistancy of pudding, and so much of it that half of it was not under water. Within 30 minutes i was in for round 2 which was more like an explosion that neatly decorated the bowl.

Bill Parcells
10-19-2006, 03:25 PM
I would hope a "one wiper" implies "little to no residue"
Excellent observation!!! :D

SLAG
10-19-2006, 03:26 PM
mine was more painful than usual- I was expecting "Bean Soup" Instad I got the Redwood Forest

Bill Parcells
10-19-2006, 03:28 PM
mine was more painful than usual- I was expecting "Bean Soup" Instad I got the Redwood Forest
Eat more fruit and water..it will loosen that shit up!!! :D :thumb:

DMAC
10-19-2006, 03:37 PM
Mine is coming, I am having "inside farts". You know, those eeeeeerrrrrrrrwwweeeee.

They started when I was in a quiet meeting...it was awesome.

Chief Nute
10-19-2006, 03:37 PM
Mine was great today. At my work there are 3 stalls, and there is always some prick who picks the middle stall when no one else is in there. :shake: Which means that instead of there being a "cushion stall" between me and the next guy........I got to shit right next to some clown with no etiquette.

So what I do is I grunt up, and give it my all, and make the most God awful noise imaginable, and 9 times out of 10, next thing I hear is the clown next to me wiping up, and getting the hell out of there.:clap: Then I can enjoy the rest of my shit.

Thank you for your time.

Bill Parcells
10-19-2006, 03:39 PM
Mine was great today. At my work there are 3 stalls, and there is always some prick who picks the middle stall when no one else is in there. :shake: Which means that instead of there being a "cushion stall" between me and the next guy........I got to shit right next to some clown with no etiquette.

So what I do is I grunt up, and give it my all, and make the most God awful noise imaginable, and 9 times out of 10, next thing I hear is the clown next to me wiping up, and getting the hell out of there.:clap: Then I can enjoy the rest of my shit.

Thank you for your time.
:hmmm: STFU

DMAC
10-19-2006, 03:41 PM
Anyone else have to move the hair in the crack out of the way to avoid dingles?

sedated
10-19-2006, 03:43 PM
At my work there are 3 stalls, and there is always some prick who picks the middle stall when no one else is in there. :shake: Which means that instead of there being a "cushion stall" between me and the next guy........I got to shit right next to some clown with no etiquette.

there's only 2 in our bathroom.

one is handicapped, the other is tiny with a shitty door.

the handicapped one is like a shit suite.

everyone waits to use that one, but occassionally someone can't wait.

if your in the big one and someone goes to the small one, you know there are going to be some fireworks.

Bill Parcells
10-19-2006, 03:44 PM
Anyone else have to move the hair in the crack out of the way to avoid dingles?
Why,do you have to part the hairs on your ass..to go number 2?? :D

Dartgod
10-19-2006, 03:47 PM
Do all you guys only dump once a day? I just dropped off load number two for the day and will likely have one more before I go to bed tonight.

DMAC
10-19-2006, 03:49 PM
Why,do you have to part the hairs on your ass..to go number 2?? :DYes, I have to alfalfa my ass.

http://www.arsmar.com/multimedia/IMG/OurGang-Alfalfa.jpg

Count Alex's Losses
10-19-2006, 03:50 PM
Do all you guys only dump once a day? I just dropped off load number two for the day and will likely have one more before I go to bed tonight.

Interesting. I usually only take a dump every other day.

DMAC
10-19-2006, 03:52 PM
Interesting. I usually only take a dump every other day.Thats because you clog up all of your inyards with various grease packed fast foods.

Bill Parcells
10-19-2006, 03:53 PM
Yes, I have to alfalfa my ass.

http://www.arsmar.com/multimedia/IMG/OurGang-Alfalfa.jpg
:D

Dartgod
10-19-2006, 03:54 PM
Interesting. I usually only take a dump every other day.Huh. Some days I have three before noon.




That sounds like one of those old Army commercials. "I shit more before 8 AM than most of you do all day. Be all that you can be."

Count Alex's Losses
10-19-2006, 04:04 PM
Thats because you clog up all of your inyards with various grease packed fast foods.

Negative.

DMAC
10-19-2006, 04:08 PM
Negative.So fruits and vegetables did this?

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/image.php?u=3815&type=profile

sedated
10-19-2006, 04:12 PM
Do all you guys only dump once a day? I just dropped off load number two for the day and will likely have one more before I go to bed tonight.

usually Mondays call for multiples.

and a bunch of false alarms

DMAC
10-19-2006, 04:17 PM
Do all you guys only dump once a day? I just dropped off load number two for the day and will likely have one more before I go to bed tonight.Do you drink a lot of black coffee?

GoodDaySir!
10-19-2006, 04:28 PM
It's usually once a day for me.

The other day was three huge ones though, and my asshole was raw.

There is this infomercial on late that constantly refers to stools, bowel movements, feces. I was almost asleep but couldn't quit laughing.

rad
10-19-2006, 04:34 PM
I had a 5 star bowel movement this morning,a one wiper..with lil to no residue :)


You don't use the 3 seashells? (gigglegigglegiggle....)

sedated
10-19-2006, 05:14 PM
The other day was three huge ones though, and my asshole was raw.

those are the kinds of day you really learn something about yourself

Adept Havelock
10-19-2006, 06:08 PM
You don't use the 3 seashells? (gigglegigglegiggle....)

He doesn't know how to use the three seashells?

ROFL

Fairplay
10-19-2006, 06:24 PM
I take a dump once or twice a day.

Today was fast and quick.

StcChief
10-19-2006, 06:26 PM
Typical post Chinese and Beer night...

Right on queue 9:30am

sedated
10-19-2006, 06:33 PM
just dropped deuce #2 for today.

felt awesome, good Maxim to read, but a little messier.


note to self: chew beans more thoroughly

New Yorker
10-19-2006, 07:28 PM
I`ve had irritable bowel syndrome for about 10 years now. Ya`ll think you got it bad. Try being in NYC traffic while driving a truck. Absolutely the most stressful thing. I dump 3 times before 9:00am everyday. Then for the next 4 hours I feel like more dumps to come. I think 4 times a day is my routine. Sucks when you can`t find a place to park the truck and you really gotta go!

Todays dumps were somewhat messy. Lots of quivering in the quakehole. Probably the steak sauce from last night(A-1). I think I`m still shitting out wet charcoal from the Jets/Chiefs game that ended in a 17-17 tie back in 1987. :D

Bill Parcells
10-19-2006, 07:30 PM
You don't use the 3 seashells? (gigglegigglegiggle....)
AAAHHH..no :p :eek:

Bill Parcells
10-19-2006, 07:31 PM
He doesn't know how to use the three seashells?

ROFL
STFU STFU :D

Fairplay
10-19-2006, 07:47 PM
I`ve had irritable bowel syndrome for about 10 years now. Ya`ll think you got it bad. Try being in NYC traffic while driving a truck. Absolutely the most stressful thing. I dump 3 times before 9:00am everyday. Then for the next 4 hours I feel like more dumps to come. I think 4 times a day is my routine. Sucks when you can`t find a place to park the truck and you really gotta go!

Todays dumps were somewhat messy. Lots of quivering in the quakehole. Probably the steak sauce from last night(A-1). I think I`m still shitting out wet charcoal from the Jets/Chiefs game that ended in a 17-17 tie back in 1987. :D



Wow. Feel sorry for you pal.

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-19-2006, 07:53 PM
So, how did it feel?

Ask your wife...it was on her chest.

Deberg_1990
10-19-2006, 07:55 PM
This thread is worthless without pics....

I need evidence.

Ari Chi3fs
10-19-2006, 08:01 PM
Its not easy being Green.

Simply Red
10-19-2006, 08:06 PM
Extra normal and quick as shit

Simply Red
10-19-2006, 08:07 PM
Extra normal and quick as shit

Thank God, I was not in the mood for an unorthodox turd cutting.

Dartgod
10-19-2006, 10:02 PM
Do you drink a lot of black coffee?
Not a coffee drinker, but i do drink a lot of Mountain Dew.

greg63
10-20-2006, 01:09 AM
Solid, but peanut butter like.

SPchief
10-20-2006, 01:12 AM
I'm amazed at the people who have their shits down to a regular time. When I have to go, I go. Time is irrevelant when I have to shit.

greg63
10-20-2006, 01:17 AM
I'm amazed at the people who have their shits down to a regular time. When I have to go, I go. Time is irrevelant when I have to shit.


LMAO

...Yep; same here. I'm sure that I do so at regular intervals; I just never really thought to keep track of it.

Halfcan
10-20-2006, 01:20 AM
LMAO

...Yep; same here. I'm sure that I do so at regular intervals; I just never really thought to keep track of it.

Not only keep track but take note of the consistency and texture then start a thread about it.

I think this falls under the Get a Life category.

listopencil
10-20-2006, 01:21 AM
I eat so much fiber you could build a little adobe hut out of my shit sometimes.

listopencil
10-20-2006, 01:22 AM
...just in case you were wondering.

sedated
10-20-2006, 09:37 AM
I'm eagerly awaiting today's morning deuce.

last night I drank much cheap beer and ate taco bell.

my stomach is jumping.

Kyle401
10-20-2006, 09:42 AM
Still waiting...

Finally!! PBJ

Almost a plugger.

ChiTown
10-20-2006, 09:44 AM
I'm as regular as can be. I poop between 9-10am almost every morning.

After going two days without my morning constitution, I am officially announcing My Constipation.

fug.

DiaperBoy27
10-20-2006, 09:50 AM
Almost a plugger.

That reminds that I don't even own a plunger.

I wonder if I could borrow one from my neighbor if in need :hmmm:

Mr. Hanky
10-20-2006, 10:16 AM
http://www.southparkquotes.com/images/mrhanky.gif

siberian khatru
10-20-2006, 10:22 AM
Turd-rific!

listopencil
10-20-2006, 10:40 AM
I'm saving up to poop at work. I have to be there in about 45 minutes. Hmmm....it takes me twenty to get there. Maybe I should stop screwing around on the intraweb and get to work.

greg63
10-20-2006, 11:09 AM
Not only keep track but take note of the consistency and texture then start a thread about it.

I think this falls under the Get a Life category.


Most poop threads do.

jeffrho68
10-20-2006, 11:11 AM
I spent the first two hours of the morning spray-painting the toilet bowl a lovely shade of browinsh-green.

Thank God for Immodium AD.

ChiefsFan4Life
10-20-2006, 11:18 AM
Mine was quick and easy - instigated by the drinking of coffee while smoking a cigarette

ChiefsFan4Life
10-20-2006, 11:20 AM
As far as timing - I usually take a dump first thing after getting to work

It's pretty rewarding knowing that I'm being paid for taking a shit

sedated
10-20-2006, 01:48 PM
Not a coffee drinker, but i do drink a lot of Mountain Dew.

I think that has an affect on other appendages

Rooster
10-20-2006, 02:17 PM
It was amazing, today mine looked just like a lightning bolt. That has to be a good sign. :$2500:

sedated
10-20-2006, 02:39 PM
It was amazing, today mine looked just like a lightning bolt. That has to be a good sign. :$2500:

or bad (for your intestines, anyway)

Bill Parcells
10-20-2006, 02:41 PM
Are we still on yesterdays dump???

Or can we talk about today's dump too???

New Yorker
10-20-2006, 09:17 PM
Not only keep track but take note of the consistency and texture then start a thread about it.

I think this falls under the Get a Life category.life is shitty everyday to be honest! :)

New Yorker
10-20-2006, 09:25 PM
I spent the first two hours of the morning spray-painting the toilet bowl a lovely shade of browinsh-green.

Thank God for Immodium AD.That Immodium is good stuff. Just be careful with it. Causes me some serious back(kidney)pains here and there.

Today was a pretty good day in the poopy dep`t. 3 good ones before 8:30am(I get up at 4:30am mind you). It sucked after 1:00PM though. I had a Snickers bar and a 3 Musketeers bar for lunch from a vending machine. Then around 3:00PM I decided to have an actual real lunch. Had a cheese steak with onions. no more than 15 minutes later(as I was sitting in RT.80 traffic), my ass clenched up and it was gonna be brutal. You simply know a brutal one when it hits. I was basically in labor. Had to breathe and concentrate just to make it to the next exit, which I don`t normally take but traffic was at a standstill. Do you know just how long a red light actually is? I was shaking and sweating by the time I hit the driveway. I couldn`t even get the key in the door.

BucEyedPea
10-20-2006, 09:30 PM
mine was more painful than usual- I was expecting "Bean Soup" Instad I got the Redwood Forest

Take more potassium. That'll handle that. *blushing deep red*

BucEyedPea
10-20-2006, 09:32 PM
Where's bunnyTURDer for this? :p

boogblaster
10-20-2006, 09:39 PM
as long as it isnt black and tary you'll live....

DMAC
10-20-2006, 10:59 PM
You should have been around about a month ago when I shat out a quarter that I accidently swallowed in a game of quarters.

It was at the bottom of the shot glass, now it's at the bottom of Springfield Lake.

Bowser
10-20-2006, 11:03 PM
So, how did it feel?

Which time?

SLAG
10-20-2006, 11:08 PM
Take more potassium. That'll handle that. *blushing deep red*


Is there alot of " K " in Taco Bell-

I Punished my toilet

:nosmilie:

DMAC
10-20-2006, 11:17 PM
Back in my days of a strict diet of meat and cheap beer, I would plug up every toilet I came into contact with.

I would start to be challenged by people who thought their cans would defeat me.

listopencil
10-20-2006, 11:35 PM
You should have been around about a month ago when I shat out a quarter that I accidentally swallowed in a game of quarters.

It was at the bottom of the shot glass, now it's at the bottom of Springfield Lake.



On my fifth birthday I happened to be at my Grandma's house. She gave me a shiny quarter that I immediately put into my mouth. Within minutes I swallowed it. My Mom took me to the hospital and they did X-rays to find it. They also found a tick head buried in my neck. Turns out I had Rocky Mountain Spotted Tick Fever and I was bedridden for days. A little girl just down the street died from it while I was in the hospital. They kept me in while I got better and eventually the quarter came out. They gave it to my Mom in a little manila envelope, which she put in the garage. Years later it was doscovered that my poop quarter was gone. Decades later I found out that my sister stole my poop quarter to get a soda from the local store. My poop quarter may be still in circulation to this day. Think about that the next time you play "Quarters".

sedated
10-20-2006, 11:42 PM
On my fifth birthday I happened to be at my Grandma's house. She gave me a shiny quarter that I immediately put into my mouth. Within minutes I swallowed it....

your stupidity might have saved your life.




(now I see why you're a donks fan)

GoodDaySir!
10-27-2006, 03:03 PM
Poop threads get a bump.

Iowanian
10-27-2006, 03:06 PM
Today was a bronco fan.

Unintelligent, Louder than it needed to be, and greasy.

The growler was better looking, smelled better and had a higher
football IQ though.

Halfcan
10-27-2006, 03:08 PM
Mine looked like Huard grabbing his groin-maybe that is a sign??

greg63
10-28-2006, 12:01 AM
Mine was relatively uneventful; a movement - that's about it.

Bowser
10-28-2006, 12:02 AM
It was a shitty experience today.

greg63
10-28-2006, 12:20 AM
It was a shitty experience today.

LMAO

MadMax
10-28-2006, 01:40 AM
You should have been around about a month ago when I shat out a quarter that I accidently swallowed in a game of quarters.

It was at the bottom of the shot glass, now it's at the bottom of Springfield Lake.

Sonofabitch! I found a quarter while swimming at Springfield lake not long ago.. :cuss: STFU The wife put it in her slot for good luck...Thank God I didn't fall for the ol bobbing for quarters trick :thumb:

sedated
10-28-2006, 02:50 AM
Mine was relatively uneventful; a movement - that's about it.

there's nothing uneventful about a good dump.

it's like releasing a demon from your ass

Stewie
10-28-2006, 07:31 AM
Nothing yet. I do feel something brewing, though. I'll keep you posted. Oh, and I've got a new toilet seat, so that's a bonus.

greg63
10-28-2006, 11:24 PM
there's nothing uneventful about a good dump.

it's like releasing a demon from your ass


LMAO


Good point!

GoodDaySir!
10-29-2006, 02:21 AM
Two words:

Beer shits.

luv
10-29-2006, 02:25 AM
Nothing yet. I do feel something brewing, though. I'll keep you posted. Oh, and I've got a new toilet seat, so that's a bonus.
Is it one of those cushioned ones like my grandma used to have?

Stewie
10-29-2006, 02:44 AM
Is it one of those cushioned ones like my grandma used to have?

No. Those are for old people and I'm not THAT old!

sedated
11-03-2006, 01:50 PM
Two words:

Beer shits.

2 more: Burrito King

2 more: hot sauce

(Lawrence people know what I'm talking about)

'Hamas' Jenkins
11-03-2006, 01:53 PM
I've got a turd scraping the inside of my colon as we speak...but I hate to poop on campus. Should I stay or should I go now :shrug:

booyaf2
11-03-2006, 01:54 PM
Beer sh!ts for me today too. the 1st one looked like someone dumped a half gallon of yellow gatorade mixed with a head of shredded lettuce

booyaf2
11-03-2006, 01:55 PM
Just noticed i'm creeping up on 100 posts. Well on my way to being cool.

KC-TBB
11-03-2006, 02:02 PM
I't like when the Starship Enterprise is like toilet paper...when it is circleing URANUS is search of KLINGONS....

listopencil
11-03-2006, 03:59 PM
I'm going to go shit right now.

sedated
12-01-2006, 12:34 PM
oh, lord.

ever feel like a 6 inch nail is coming out of your ass sideways?