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View Full Version : Hear ye, hear ye! The selection of the defense team is about to begin!


Rain Man
10-27-2006, 10:43 AM
(Banging gavel.)

We have four self-nominees for defense counsel. One of those will serve as the lead counsel for the accused. In this thread, the nominees will each have the opportunity to present a case for being lead counsel in this thread. Once all have posted, or no later than 2:00 today, whatever date today is, the court will post a poll, and please make your vote accordingly about who should serve as lead counsel. The court thanks each of the fine candidates for their willingness to serve, and those who do not become the lead defense counsel will be asked to serve as assistant defense counsels to help the team.

In their statements, the court asks each of the candidates to address the following questions.

1. What is your previous experience with Chiefs treason trials?

2. What is your primary motivation for becoming the lead defense attorney?

3. What is the most unusual legal case in which you have been involved, either personally, professionally, or imagined?

4. How will you prevent your fandom of the Chiefs from interfering with your sworn duties on this trial?

5. Open statement about anything you wish.

The court thanks both the nominees and the public for their participation in the Chiefsplanet legal process.

(Bangs gavel, adjusts pump)

Now, does anyone have some prostitutes I can sentence while we're waiting?


Please see candidate responses in Posts 2, 3, 4, and 11. The polling will stop when the court has determined that a clear winner has emerged.

JohnnyV13
10-27-2006, 11:02 AM
1. I have no experience with Chiefs treason trials. But, I don't think anyone else has any either. I think this is a first.

2. My primary motivation is this might be a good venue to coin amusing lines at the expense of the hapless prosecution team.

3. My most amusing legal case involved a group of executives naming their company bowling team by the acronym NIPS.

4. Well, if Mecca pays me big moola, my fandom won't mean a hill of beans. If I'm stuck doing this pro-bono, Mecca is in trouble.

5. Ladies and Drunk bastiges of the Jury, we have gathered here today to tap a keg...I mean...to decide the CP fate of Mecca, who stands accused of the heinous crime of Treason against our Beloved Team.

(Btw, bikini pics of any of the young ladies will be welcome....)

JBucc
10-27-2006, 11:03 AM
1. What is your previous experience with Chiefs treason trials?
I am not aware of any previous treason trials.
2. What is your primary motivation for becoming the lead defense attorney?
uh, good question
3. What is the most unusual legal case in which you have been involved, either personally, professionally, or imagined?
In 5th grade we had a mock trial about the ciggarette industry. I was the prosecutor and I think I lost. Can't remember
4. How will you prevent your fandom of the Chiefs from interfering with your sworn duties on this trial?
I don't see how it would affect anything.
5. Open statement about anything you wish.
Vote for me and I'll give you rep.


Now, does anyone have some prostitutes I can sentence while we're waiting?
C4ME is around here somewhere...

SNR
10-27-2006, 11:15 AM
1. What is your previous experience with Chiefs treason trials?

I have been heavily involved in informal trials regarding prior banishments, including those of trolls, n00bs, and whiney vaginas. The one black mark on my record was a recently failed case in which I actually served as a prosecutor for one chiefsfan1963.

2. What is your primary motivation for becoming the lead defense attorney?

Chicks. And glory and fame and pride. But mostly chicks.

3. What is the most unusual legal case in which you have been involved, either personally, professionally, or imagined?

There was this one case where I served as a witness to a pot-smoking Indian...

4. How will you prevent your fandom of the Chiefs from interfering with your sworn duties on this trial?

I lock myself in a closet for an hour with nothing but pictures of Lin Elliot, Steve Bono, Carlton Gray, Greg Robinson, and other infamous characters of the Chiefs organization on the wall. This builds up my pissed off fan side to balance my homeristic feelings that I may have.

5. Open statement about anything you wish.

If my client is proven guilty, (like that would happen, but if he is) the baby-eating campaign must continue to exist. It must not die.

SLAG
10-27-2006, 11:18 AM
Judge- The Whores.. um I mean Prositiutes.. um i mean.. ladies of Ill repute are waiting in your chambers

Rain Man
10-27-2006, 11:29 AM
Best damn assistant bailiff I've ever had.

Stewie
10-27-2006, 11:30 AM
Now, does anyone have some prostitutes I can sentence while we're waiting?

"Sentence" here is a thinly veiled reference to the word ****.

Rain Man
10-27-2006, 11:31 AM
"Sentence" here is a thinly veiled reference to the word ****.


(Banging gavel angrily)

We will have no criticisms of the Chiefsplanet legal system in my courtroom!

Dartgod
10-27-2006, 11:44 AM
Bailiff, whack his peepee.

carlos3652
10-27-2006, 11:45 AM
ROFL

Redrum_69
10-27-2006, 11:53 AM
1. What is your previous experience with Chiefs treason trials?

This will be my first one, but I have My Cousin Vinny and have seen it over 20 times. I blend, trust me.

2. What is your primary motivation for becoming the lead defense attorney?

To prove that my client is innocent of the charges brought against him and the statements made against my client are preposterous. If the glove doesnít fit, you must aquit.

3. What is the most unusual legal case in which you have been involved, either personally, professionally, or imagined?

I have had several, but in each case I was found innocent.

4. How will you prevent your fandom of the Chiefs from interfering with your sworn duties on this trial?

I think I am more of a neutral party because I have never sworn my allegiance to anything other than truth, justice and the American dream.

5. Open statement about anything you wish.

My client, Mecca, will be found not guilty of all charges if I am selected as part of the legal defense team. The prosecuting team is trying to prove their claim of how my client has broken certain rules. Itís my responsibility to prove each infraction as a weak effort to discredit my client. Here, look at the palm of my hand. You can only see the palm of my handÖ you donít see my entire hand. Itís only when I turn my hand over and show both sides of my hand that you see the whole hand.

SLAG
10-27-2006, 11:56 AM
Bailiff, whack his peepee.
rochambeau

Rain Man
10-27-2006, 11:59 AM
And there you have it, people of the community. Four fine candidate responses from four fine individuals. Please vote for the candidate who you think is most qualified to serve as lead counsel in Mecca's defense.

Dartgod
10-27-2006, 11:59 AM
My client, Mecca, will be found not guilty of all charges if I am selected as part of the legal defense team. The prosecuting team is trying to prove their claim of how my client has broken certain rules. Itís my responsibility to prove each infraction as a weak effort to discredit my client. Here, look at the palm of my hand. You can only see the palm of my handÖ you donít see my entire hand. Itís only when I turn my hand over and show both sides of my hand that you see the whole hand.
Everything that guy just said is bullshit... Thank you.

SPchief
10-27-2006, 12:22 PM
In a stunning turn of events, a darkhorse canadite for lead Defense attorney has emerged. The fellow they call Redrum has voiced his opinion to why he should get the job. So far he seems to be the runaway contender for the position.

luv
10-27-2006, 12:25 PM
My client, Mecca, will be found not guilty of all charges if I am selected as part of the legal defense team. The prosecuting team is trying to prove their claim of how my client has broken certain rules. Itís my responsibility to prove each infraction as a weak effort to discredit my client. Here, look at the palm of my hand. You can only see the palm of my handÖ you donít see my entire hand. Itís only when I turn my hand over and show both sides of my hand that you see the whole hand.
Actually, if you turned your hand over, then we can only see the back of your hand.

Redrum_69
10-27-2006, 12:58 PM
Actually, if you turned your hand over, then we can only see the back of your hand.

Everything that guy just said is bullshit...Thank you.


COmments from the peanut gallery will be commented on at a later time.

carlos3652
10-27-2006, 01:32 PM
Redrum_ refraining from comments.. thats a first...

and no my mom was probably not your first or your last... I know i know...

Stewie
10-27-2006, 01:41 PM
Redrum_ refraining from comments.. thats a first...

and no my mom was probably not your first or your last... I know i know...

I'm waiting for this campaign to turn negative. Then we'll hear so much momma/beaver/bearded-clam/vagina/rusty trombone type stuff that our eyes will bleed.

Inspector
10-27-2006, 01:49 PM
1. What is your previous experience with Chiefs treason trials?

This will be my first one, but I have My Cousin Vinny and have seen it over 20 times. I blend, trust me.

2. What is your primary motivation for becoming the lead defense attorney?

To prove that my client is innocent of the charges brought against him and the statements made against my client are preposterous. If the glove doesnít fit, you must aquit.

3. What is the most unusual legal case in which you have been involved, either personally, professionally, or imagined?

I have had several, but in each case I was found innocent.

4. How will you prevent your fandom of the Chiefs from interfering with your sworn duties on this trial?

I think I am more of a neutral party because I have never sworn my allegiance to anything other than truth, justice and the American dream.

5. Open statement about anything you wish.

My client, Mecca, will be found not guilty of all charges if I am selected as part of the legal defense team. The prosecuting team is trying to prove their claim of how my client has broken certain rules. Itís my responsibility to prove each infraction as a weak effort to discredit my client. Here, look at the palm of my hand. You can only see the palm of my handÖ you donít see my entire hand. Itís only when I turn my hand over and show both sides of my hand that you see the whole hand.

Hey, my mom called.

She wants another.

Only don't be so damn quick next time. They make an ointment for that you know.

Halfcan
10-27-2006, 01:51 PM
This trial is longer than the OJ trial.

SPchief
10-27-2006, 02:12 PM
I'm standing here live outside of the courthouse. Right now we are still awaiting the defendants first apperance. I'll have updates for you whenever we get them.

SNR
10-27-2006, 04:12 PM
It looks like Redrum has this one in the bag. I pledge to assist him in any way possible that I can, even though he did all those things with my mom behind my back

Rain Man
10-27-2006, 04:16 PM
It's almost as if redrum has incriminating pictures of everyone's mom or something.

Over-Head
10-27-2006, 04:39 PM
Hey JBuc, you still offering rep for votes? :hmmm:

banyon
10-27-2006, 04:42 PM
Your Honor, I abstained to maintain my aura of impartiality, but why was Logical's name excluded from the poll?

He would seem to be as qualified as the other applicants and was even nominated by someone else.

Rain Man
10-27-2006, 04:47 PM
Your Honor, I abstained to maintain my aura of impartiality, but why was Logical's name excluded from the poll?

He would seem to be as qualified as the other applicants and was even nominated by someone else.

The court did not receive (i.e., see) an official notice that Logical had nominated himself. The court used only self-nominations as an indication of interest. Did logical self-nominate?

rad
10-27-2006, 04:53 PM
Hey JBuc, you still offering rep for votes? :hmmm:

By "rep", you mean weed, right?

JBucc
10-27-2006, 05:10 PM
By "rep", you mean weed, right?That's what I meant:shrug:

rad
10-27-2006, 05:17 PM
That's what I meant:shrug:

Sweet. I'll PM you my address. Just send it in an Asian porn video :D

JBucc
10-27-2006, 05:19 PM
Alright Redrum wins. Let's get this trial a goin!

Bill Parcells
10-27-2006, 05:19 PM
That's what I meant:shrug:
:shake: Even me...an impartial Jet fan voted for you :shake:

4 votes??? :shake: :cuss: :p :D

JBucc
10-27-2006, 05:19 PM
I think I'm stuck in at work mode.

JBucc
10-27-2006, 05:20 PM
:shake: Even me...an impartial Jet fan voted for you :shake:

4 votes??? :shake: :cuss: :p :DSweet. So far I've got a Jet fan and a Faiders fan. Who's the other guy vailpass?

Logical
10-27-2006, 05:24 PM
I object to the process of naming lead defense council. First I have already petitioned the court for redress on two issues in behalf of plaintiff and second I was busy with hot chicks when this process was initiated.

Screw you Judge Kevin.

JBucc
10-27-2006, 05:26 PM
I think I'm stuck in at work mode.I am stuck in At work mode. I tried to change it to Full Featured and Forum Default and it won't let me out. Is this happening to anyone else?

Bill Parcells
10-27-2006, 05:28 PM
I am stuck in At work mode. I tried to change it to Full Featured and Forum Default and it won't let me out. Is this happening to anyone else?
Not me..I am Full Featured and Forum Default

JimNasium
10-27-2006, 05:47 PM
I object to the process of naming lead defense council. First I have already petitioned the court for redress on two issues in behalf of plaintiff and second I was busy with hot chicks when this process was initiated.

Screw you Judge Kevin.I actually nominated you (well suggested that you were the perfect candidate) but it would seem that was ignored. Perhaps you could handle the appeal?

Bill Parcells
10-27-2006, 05:58 PM
I am stuck in At work mode. I tried to change it to Full Featured and Forum Default and it won't let me out. Is this happening to anyone else?
I am now stuck in at work mode too :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

cookster50
10-27-2006, 06:00 PM
I for one was sorely disappointed in redrum's answers. Will the real redrum please stand up(and I don't mean inside my mom).

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-27-2006, 06:00 PM
Can we make sure Mecca is drawn and quartered?? :fire:

JBucc
10-27-2006, 06:00 PM
I am now stuck in at work mode too :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:LMAO
:hmmm:

Bill Parcells
10-27-2006, 06:02 PM
LMAO
:hmmm:
It happened after I changed the settings over at the new place :hmmm:

JBucc
10-27-2006, 06:02 PM
It happened after I changed the settings over at the new place :hmmm:Me too

Logical
10-27-2006, 06:07 PM
I am stuck in At work mode. I tried to change it to Full Featured and Forum Default and it won't let me out. Is this happening to anyone else?

If you clear your cookies and relog into this site your problem should be solved. You might have to reset your settings after clearing your cookies.

luv
10-28-2006, 12:43 AM
I actually nominated you (well suggested that you were the perfect candidate) but it would seem that was ignored. Perhaps you could handle the appeal?
Potential juror already showing bias. Not a good sign.

greg63
10-28-2006, 12:55 AM
I voted SNR :nosmilie:

JohnnyV13
10-28-2006, 01:47 AM
Damn....

I must have not put on my virtual deodorant or something.....

I haven't felt this unpopular since grade school......

JohnnyV13
10-28-2006, 01:49 AM
That's ok,

If any of the other's win the lead, that will let us plead that Mecca was denied his constitutional right to a fair trial based upon incompetence of counsel.

This trial is now a no-lose proposition for the defense.

We are genious.

Kerberos
10-28-2006, 02:06 AM
I object.

Stewie
10-28-2006, 12:14 PM
[Stewie is whistling and twiddling his thumbs in the public area at the back of the court room... by the women's restroom.]

The defendant is supposed to get a speedy trial, right?

Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan
10-28-2006, 02:16 PM
Trial?

Trial?

I'm still hanging around over England in 1943 freezing my ass off in a B-17 and Rain Man is playing around with Trials?

Humph.

SLAG
10-28-2006, 02:22 PM
[Stewie is whistling and twiddling his thumbs in the public area at the back of the court room... by the women's restroom.]

The defendant is supposed to get a speedy trial, right?

i'm going to have to ask you to move along son

StcChief
10-28-2006, 02:32 PM
Baliff Whack his Pee-Pee

Rain Man
10-28-2006, 02:48 PM
Damn....

I must have not put on my virtual deodorant or something.....

I haven't felt this unpopular since grade school......


Apparently the public feels that redrum_69 has a bit stronger legal background. The court appreciates your continued service to the team, though.

FAX
10-28-2006, 03:36 PM
Excuse me, Mr. Rain Man, your honor.

May I approach the bench?

FAX

Rain Man
10-28-2006, 03:37 PM
Excuse me, Mr. Rain Man, your honor.

May I approach the bench?

FAX

The member of the gallery may approach the bench.

(Banging gavel to the beat of Queen's "We will rock you".)

FAX
10-28-2006, 03:48 PM
Nice gavel banging there, Mr. Rain Man, your honor.

I was just wondering ... has Mr. Mecca been around since the pre-trial selections started? I haven't seen him. I'm a little concerned that he hasn't had the opportunity to prepare a proper defense. I mean, he isn't even selecting his own defense team.

My main worry is that Mr. Redrum_69 has just volunteered for the position of lead defense attorney simply in order to put Mr. Mecca's mother on the stand and publicly pump her for information.

FAX

Rain Man
10-28-2006, 03:55 PM
Nice gavel banging there, Mr. Rain Man, your honor.

I was just wondering ... has Mr. Mecca been around since the pre-trial selections started? I haven't seen him. I'm a little concerned that he hasn't had the opportunity to prepare a proper defense. I mean, he isn't even selecting his own defense team.

My main worry is that Mr. Redrum_69 has just volunteered for the position of lead defense attorney simply in order to put Mr. Mecca's mother on the stand and publicly pump her for information.

FAX


The court has recognized the absence of the defendant, and is grimacing appropriately. The court notified the defendant of the upcoming trial, and placed no bond since the defendant agreed to the process and, frankly, was not under arrest. The court hopes for the arrival of said defendant, but the trial will proceed in absentia if the defendent has been found to have fled, primarily because the court enjoys the process and really, really likes the big powdered wig and high bench.

It is also expected that Mr. Redrum_69, Esq. and Mr. Donger, Esq. will lead the defense and prosecution with professionalism and skill. If not, another member of their team will be called upon.

The court thanks you for your concern, and would like you to report to the bailiff to address the numberous unpaid parking tickets on your record.

SLAG
10-28-2006, 03:56 PM
The court thanks you for your concern, and would like you to report to the bailiff to address the numberous unpaid parking tickets on your record.


Hey Frazod

is it pee-pee wacking time yet?

Rain Man
10-28-2006, 04:02 PM
Best damn assistant bailiff I've ever had.

SLAG
10-28-2006, 04:05 PM
Best damn assistant bailiff I've ever had.


Just doing my Duty Your Honor


:kc:

greg63
10-28-2006, 10:30 PM
Nice gavel banging there, Mr. Rain Man, your honor.

I was just wondering ... has Mr. Mecca been around since the pre-trial selections started? I haven't seen him. I'm a little concerned that he hasn't had the opportunity to prepare a proper defense. I mean, he isn't even selecting his own defense team.

My main worry is that Mr. Redrum_69 has just volunteered for the position of lead defense attorney simply in order to put Mr. Mecca's mother on the stand and publicly pump her for information.

FAX

He fled town. :p

JohnnyV13
10-29-2006, 01:36 AM
Apparently the public feels that redrum_69 has a bit stronger legal background. The court appreciates your continued service to the team, though.


Hello...you would think that the person who actually has a law license might be a better choice. But, hey, who am I to question the will of the people?

Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan
10-29-2006, 08:00 AM
Hello...you would think that the person who actually has a law license might be a better choice. But, hey, who am I to question the will of the people?

Perhaps the people don't <b>want</b> Mecca to have competent counsel.