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Archie F. Swin
10-30-2006, 09:46 AM
What was the line that was so funny that you missed the following 30 minutes of the film cause you were laughing your arse off?

Two that come to mind for me are from Jim Carrey:

From "Liar, Liar":
"Hit me again Ike, and this time put some stank on it!"

From "Bruce Almighty"
"Back to you, ****ERS!"

DaFace
10-30-2006, 09:51 AM
From Anchorman:
“The Germans discovered it in 1904, and they called it ‘San Diego,’ which in German means ‘whale’s vagina.’”

Fruit Ninja
10-30-2006, 09:52 AM
i like the back to you ****ers one from Bruce Almighty as well.

AZORChiefFan
10-30-2006, 10:00 AM
NOt a line but a scene.

Borat - Borat and his producer wrestling in a hotel room.

I had tears coming down my cheeks from laughing.

Stewie
10-30-2006, 10:05 AM
From Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid:

"Don't go near my daughter again! Don't try to see her! Don't write her and don't phone her!"

"Can I use her underwear to make soup?"

siberian khatru
10-30-2006, 10:05 AM
From Anchorman:
“The Germans discovered it in 1904, and they called it ‘San Diego,’ which in German means ‘whale’s vagina.’”

Too many to post, but this reminded me of MY favorite line from that movie, that had me laughing so hard I missed the next handful of jokes:

"Smells like Bigfoot's dick!"

Baby Lee
10-30-2006, 10:05 AM
Don't know if it was the line itself or the whole scene, but the first time I heard

"How the hell'd you get your franks above your beans?"

I nearly passed out from hyperventilation.

siberian khatru
10-30-2006, 10:08 AM
Don't know if it was the line itself or the whole scene, but the first time I heard

"How the hell'd you get your franks above your beans?"

I nearly passed out from hyperventilation.

Saw the movie in the theater with my wife. She's normally a "chuckler" on jokes, but with that scene, she burst out laughing.

Me, I'm the hyperventilating type. When I saw "Life of Brian" when it first came out, when the alien spaceship swoops down and picks up Brian as he leaps off the parapet, I literally fell on the (sticky) floor with laughter.

JonesCrusher
10-30-2006, 10:26 AM
Heathers
"I love my dead gay son"

FAX
10-30-2006, 10:31 AM
There have been many. The most recent being very situational from Lucky Number Sleven when one of the bad, hitman guys says to Sleven, "Hey look look look, Tell it to the one legged man so he can bump it off down the road."

FAX

DMAC
10-30-2006, 10:33 AM
"Every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the go***mn refrigerator.

Eatin' up all the food. All the chicken. All the pig feet. All the collard greens. All the hog maw. I wanna eat some of them chitlins! I like pig feet!"

DMAC
10-30-2006, 10:39 AM
If you go rent Brain Candy...All of the funniest quotes ever are in there.

Demonpenz
10-30-2006, 10:39 AM
there were some scenes in american pie. That I could breathe

trndobrd
10-30-2006, 10:40 AM
"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

Rain Man
10-30-2006, 10:42 AM
"Serpentine! Serpentine!"

Pennywise
10-30-2006, 10:42 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWbl4vQLfr4


"In 1984, Director Stanley Kubrick placed ads throughout the U.S. for young aspiring actors to send in audition tapes for "Full Metal Jacket".

vailpass
10-30-2006, 10:42 AM
Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."
Parole Board member: Repeat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

Otter
10-30-2006, 10:45 AM
"Gentlemen! You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!"

Sully
10-30-2006, 10:46 AM
"I love you... I mean, I love you like a son of a bitch!!"

Rain Man
10-30-2006, 10:49 AM
Yellowbeard had a zillion hilarious lines.


(On the deck of a ship)

"If anyone doesn't want to be here, raise your hand."

(One man raises his hand.)

"Nail that man's foot to the deck."

cadmonkey
10-30-2006, 10:49 AM
from Out Cold......

"When you won King of the Mountain last night you became THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN, not King of the No Dick Pussy Losers!."

The Rick
10-30-2006, 10:51 AM
"What's that smell?"

"That smell is our s***, Bob. Focker flushed the toilet!"

"Jack, I didn't flush the toilet! I'm telling you, it was Jinx"

"Focker! Jinx didn't flush the toilet! He's a cat! He lacks the opposable thumbs!"

ChiefsFan4Life
10-30-2006, 10:53 AM
From They Live

Rowdy Roddy Piper: "I've come here to do two things: kick ass and chew bubble gum - and I'm all outta bubble gum"

That movie also has the best fight scene in a movie ever

Scaga
10-30-2006, 11:01 AM
Caddyshack...

Carl hunting the gofer at night...in fully camo...with a rifle and a six pack
"I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."

wutamess
10-30-2006, 11:01 AM
Has to be the entire Dave Chapelle's Rick James skit.

Archie F. Swin
10-30-2006, 11:04 AM
From Airplane

Johnny, what can you make out of this?

This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...

Rain Man
10-30-2006, 11:06 AM
While it's not the funniest line ever, I got a big laugh out of it when they found the wrong Private Ryan in Saving Private Ryan.

"My brother died?"

Archie F. Swin
10-30-2006, 11:09 AM
"Every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the go***mn refrigerator.

Eatin' up all the food. All the chicken. All the pig feet. All the collard greens. All the hog maw. I wanna eat some of them chitlins! I like pig feet!"

Bernie Mac:
What we call drugs at the 74th Street Baptist Church we call a sinny sin sins.

Chris Tucker holding a joint:
Well round here, between Normandy and Western, we call this here a little twenty twen twen...

Easy 6
10-30-2006, 11:14 AM
J...Jo..Jo..John Dum...John Dumbbear???

tyton75
10-30-2006, 11:15 AM
40 year old Virgin, "Sex isn't about butthole pleasures.."

munkey
10-30-2006, 11:17 AM
Harry: So you got fired today?
Lloyd: Yeah, they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident.
Harry: I lost my job today too.
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry: Oh, none taken. But you know the thing that burns me though? I spent my entire life savings changing my van into a dog.
Lloyd: It's alright, Har. Chicks love it. It's a shaggin' wagon.

munkey
10-30-2006, 11:18 AM
Lloyd: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Harry: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver is full of shit, man.

Easy 6
10-30-2006, 11:19 AM
Lloyd: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Harry: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver is full of shit, man.
HA, that is a good one, that movie is just full of great lines :LOL:

tyton75
10-30-2006, 11:22 AM
"What the @#$@ are you doing with a gun, why are you pulling a gun; didn't you seen Boys N the Hood, now one of us is going to get shot!"

-Swingers

tyton75
10-30-2006, 11:26 AM
- Do you like Gladiator Movies?
- Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

munkey
10-30-2006, 11:27 AM
The hot tub scene is my favorite...

Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

Rain Man
10-30-2006, 11:28 AM
Pulp Fiction

"Oh, man. I shot Marvin in the face."

el borracho
10-30-2006, 11:30 AM
40 year old Virgin, "Sex isn't about butthole pleasures.."
It's not about the shit-stained balls

tyton75
10-30-2006, 11:32 AM
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!??

-Germans?

Forget it, he's rolling.

Sully
10-30-2006, 11:33 AM
"Ask him if he's clean!"
"Is he brown?"

tyton75
10-30-2006, 11:34 AM
"you look like a Man-O-Lantern"

SLAG
10-30-2006, 11:35 AM
"Yes... its true... this Man has no Dick....."- Ghostbusters


" So why do they call you hound?""Well its kinda Stupid... its short for **** hound"- martin and Orloff


"YOU JUST HAD DESERT!!! WHY DO YOU NEED CANDY"- Martin and Orloff

"Damn Bitch you ****ed Up" - Run Ronnie Run
" Yes i id you need to clean the shit outcha ears"- Run Ronnie Run


"I Taste Shit... Stacy did you put shit in my food... STACY!!!!"- Click

Archie F. Swin
10-30-2006, 11:40 AM
from
40 year old Virgin

friend
"How'd you know she was a guy?"

steve carrel
"She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls."

Stewie
10-30-2006, 11:42 AM
Chris Rock in "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka"

"**** the cup, pour it in my hand for a dime."

"Got change for a hundrit?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEMEzykOnQ0

picasso
10-30-2006, 11:58 AM
40 year old Virgin, "Sex isn't about butthole pleasures.."


"...or uh pussy juice cocktail!" That one was classic!!

Say it isn't so: "You know what it says about f*ckin your sister in the bible? It says.....don't."

Wedding Crashers: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
[makes sputtering motorboat noise]
You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?

Wazzie
10-30-2006, 12:10 PM
Old School:

"Love is taking the ealry flight from San Diego, only to get home to find a guy blindfolded jumping out of closet like a g*ddamn magic show .."

"And it stops there. Because love is blind."

Gonzo
10-30-2006, 12:19 PM
Airplane- The 8 yr. old kids sitting next to eachother acting refined:
Little boy: Coffee?
Girl: Yes Please.
Boy: Cream?
Girl: No, I take it black.....like my men.

I damn near puked I was laughing so hard at that.

"I picked a hell of a day to quit sniffing glue!"

Stinger
10-30-2006, 12:23 PM
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!??

-Germans?

Forget it, he's rolling.

:clap:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K92OVFeGgIE

Sully
10-30-2006, 12:24 PM
Gonzo's location is a pretty funny movie line, as weell...
From "Running with Scissors."

"You know you aren't supposed to be in here! This is my masturbatorium!"

Jordan
10-30-2006, 12:42 PM
" I want a liter of cola"

"We don't have a liter of cols"

"Just get a large, Favra"

"I don't want a Large Favra"

-Supertroopers

...also,

"The next person to say shinanigans is gonna get pistol whipped"

"Hey Favra, what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the crap off Route 9?"

"You mean shinanigans"

"oooooo" (While holding his gun to the police chief speaking prior)

-Supertroopers as well.

Nzoner
10-30-2006, 01:01 PM
Some of my favs are from North Dallas Forty

Coach Johnson:This is national TV. So don't pick your noses or scratch your nuts.

________________________________________________________

Jo Bob:I've never seen titties like yours. Could I show your titties to my friend O.W.?

____________________________________________________

Maxwell:You know Hartman, goodie-two-shoes is fidgeting around like a one-legged cat trying to bury shit on a frozen pond, until old Seth fixes him a couple of pink poontang specials. You know, that crazy drink that I fix for stewardesses? Two shots out of that and Hartman is shot to shit, freaked out. I mean, I never saw a guy having so much fun and crying at the same time!

_______________________________________________________

Jo Bob:Where's your gun Elliott?
Elliott:Freud says that guns are an extension of your dick, Jo Bob.

chiefsfaninwa
10-30-2006, 01:25 PM
"NICE BEAVER" Police Squad. :)

trndobrd
10-30-2006, 02:43 PM
"What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on here? I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots."

Baby Lee
10-30-2006, 02:48 PM
"What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on here? I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City pillowbiters."
can somebody ride back to camp and get us a shitload of dimes??

chief husker
10-30-2006, 02:49 PM
Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood. From the movie Stand by Me.

Sam Hall
10-30-2006, 02:50 PM
Office Space:

"It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care." -Peter

carlos3652
10-30-2006, 02:59 PM
South Park
Mr. Garrison, after a student provides an incorrect answer to a math problem
“OK, now let’s try to get an answer from someone who’s not a complete retard…anyone?”

Zoolander
“There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman.”

The Cable Guy

“Oh, my God! Oh, my God! My twin brother has been shot! I think it was an Asian gang or something! There was this guy. He looked Asian, and he was speaking another language. I’m pretty sure it was…Asian.”

Nzoner
10-30-2006, 03:11 PM
Arsenic & Old Lace

"Insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops."

vckcchiefs04
10-30-2006, 03:15 PM
-OH MY BACK!! MY NECK AND MY BACK!!! (Friday)
-Did you just soil yourself? Maybe! It did smell a little wet didn't it? Right at the end! Let's take a whiff. (Austin Powers and Fat Bastard)
-Hey Baby! Baby what are you doing out in the middle of the night by yourself? I sellin weed ni**a!! (Dave Chapelle - Killin Them Softly)
-*smokey to Redd after Devo knocked him on his ass* "You got knocked the f_ck out!!!" (Friday)
-Your my boy BLUE!!!!!
-*lead singer of the band at the beginning of Old School* (singing) Every now and then I get a little bit tired of seeing that f_ckin look in yer eye!
-COme on Snoop, Snoop-A-Loop! We're going streaking!! (old school)
-Tell me something I don't know. I opened mouth kissed a horse once. What? That's something you don't know. (Austin Powers)

tyton75
10-30-2006, 03:15 PM
These are my sons; Walker and Texas Ranger... T.R. for short

-Ballad of Rickey Bobby

tyton75
10-30-2006, 03:26 PM
"Whose the MASTER?! SHONUFF!!"

Armyofme
10-30-2006, 03:42 PM
Fight Club

"I haven't been ****ed like that since grade school"

Adept Havelock
10-30-2006, 03:53 PM
From "The Paper"


Phil (Jack Kehoe): Aw, Jesus, Bernie. Come on with the smoke. You know the doctor found nicotine in my urine again.
Bernie (Robert Duvall): Then keep your dick out of my ashtray!

SLAG
10-31-2006, 02:02 AM
Burger Shack Employee: Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one... just makes me want to burn this mother****er down. Come on, Pookie, let's burn this mother****er down! Come on, Pookie! Let's burn it, Pookie! Let's burn this mother****er down! Let's burn it down! Let's burn it! So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle.

Kumar: You can always get your work done in the car.

Harold: Let's do it.

Kumar: All right. Awesome. Then listen, listen - no matter what, we are not ending this night without White Castle in our stomachs. Agreed?

Harold: Agreed.
[shakes Kumar's hand then gives him pound]

Burger Shack Employee: Wise choice. You guys might have wanted to stay away from our special sauce tonight. Me and Pookie, we added a secret ingredient. I'll give you a hint. It's semen.

[bursts out laughing]

Harold: [Smirks] Semen.

Burger Shack Employee: Animal semen.

[Harold and Kumar scream and drive off as fast as possible]

B2chiefsfan
10-31-2006, 02:16 AM
The best line of all......

My Sig........:)

Guru
10-31-2006, 03:48 AM
Harry: So you got fired today?
Lloyd: Yeah, they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident.
Harry: I lost my job today too.
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry: Oh, none taken. But you know the thing that burns me though? I spent my entire life savings changing my van into a dog.
Lloyd: It's alright, Har. Chicks love it. It's a shaggin' wagon.


Classic comedy. Tons of funny lines and scenes.

Boise_Chief
10-31-2006, 08:26 AM
48 hours:

Reggie: Jack tell me a bedtime story.

Jack: F#*%^k you!

Reggie: Oh that's my favorite.

Sully
10-31-2006, 08:28 AM
Fight Club

"I haven't been ****ed like that since grade school"


The line that thais line replaced int he deleted scenes was pretty funny, too.

"I want to have your abortion."

Sully
10-31-2006, 08:30 AM
Ricky Bobby: How was school today, boys?
Walker: I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge.
Chip: I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren, and you are raising them wrong
Walker: Shut up Chip, or I'll go ape shit on your ass!
Texas Ranger: Yeah, Chip, Momma says I should kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah! Go on and get some boys!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Walker: I may be 10 years old but I'll beat your ass!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go and get some, boys.
Texas Ranger: I'm all hopped up on Mountain Dew!

Archie F. Swin
10-31-2006, 08:46 AM
from The Jerk

Steve Martin
There's something I want to say that's always been very difficult for me to say.


"I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit." There. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to say that.

Sully
10-31-2006, 08:56 AM
Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

Sully
10-31-2006, 08:57 AM
Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again. There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

digi2fish
10-31-2006, 09:50 AM
Clear and Present Danger

Jack Ryan: I'm here to rent the Huey.
Helicopter owner: We don't rent it anymore, but it is for sale.
Jack Ryan: How much?
Helicopter owner: Two million dollars.
Jack Ryan: Uh, my pilot and I will have to take it for a test drive.
Helicopter owner: Of course, you just have to leave a deposit.
Jack Ryan: How much is that?
Helicopter owner: Two million dollars.
Jack Ryan: Umm...
[Shows a CIA business card]
Jack Ryan: Would you take a company check?

Braincase
10-31-2006, 09:57 AM
"Man, that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that."

runnercyclist
10-31-2006, 10:04 AM
Caddyshack...

Carl hunting the gofer at night...in fully camo...with a rifle and a six pack
"I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."


It's a cross between kentucky blue grass and sesimillia. You can play 18 holes and smoke the bejesus out of it.

You'll get nothing and like it.

The world needs ditch-diggers too.

Wanna make $20 the hard way?

runnercyclist
10-31-2006, 10:08 AM
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!??

-Germans?

Forget it, he's rolling.

Can we dance with your dates?

Man, you ****ed up, you trusted us.

InChiefsHell
10-31-2006, 10:13 AM
From the Blues Brothers:

"...one soiled..."

From Me Myself and Irene, well, tons from that one, but a couple:

"What are you looking at, ****er?"In the restaraunt talking to the little kid.

"Settle down, my little pussy fart." and "Hey, I was going to put it in slow, like a gentleman..."

I had to pause that movie alot to compose myself.

runnercyclist
10-31-2006, 10:13 AM
"What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on here? I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City pillowbiters."

Somebody go back and get a shitload of dimes.

It's twue. it's twue.

But this is my shooting hand.

Work, work work.

runnercyclist
10-31-2006, 10:15 AM
Office Space:

"It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care." -Peter

I wouldn't say I was "missing" work, Bob.

PC Load letter, what the **** does that mean?

We fixed the glitch.

runnercyclist
10-31-2006, 10:20 AM
Fight Club

"I haven't been ****ed like that since grade school"

I call them my single serving friends.
Clever. How's that working our for ya, being clever?

I am Jack's medulla oblangota.

I get the testicular cancer group, you don't even have balls.

Stinger
10-31-2006, 10:22 AM
Work, work work.

http://www.cityofangelsfilmfest.org/CAFF05/images/blazingsaddles_02_200.jpg

Hellooooo boys ... I missed you

burt
10-31-2006, 10:24 AM
"So, Jack, doing a little rewiring??? .... 220???"

"220, 221, what ever it takes."

runnercyclist
10-31-2006, 10:27 AM
From O Brother Where are Thou?

It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.

Well, aint this place a geographical oddity, two weeks from everywhere.

We thought they turned you into a horny toad.

You boys are dumber than a bag of hammers.

QuikSsurfer
10-31-2006, 10:30 AM
"I saw the paper one time that said the world was ending the next week. Then in the next week's paper, they said we were miraculously saved at the zero hour by a Koala-fish mutant bird. Crazy shit." - Clerks

InChiefsHell
10-31-2006, 10:36 AM
Ellwood: "Shit"
Jake "What?"
Ellwood: "Rollers"
Jake: "No!"
Ellwood: "Yes"
Jake: "Shit..."

The lead singer of THe Good 'Ol Boys:
"Styles, your gonna look aweful funny trying to eat corn on the cob with no ****IN' teeth!"

Nzoner
10-31-2006, 10:39 AM
Man:hey man you wanna get high?
Pedro:does Howdy Doody got wooden balls man


Man:Hey, man; I'm glad you picked me up, man. I was about to freeze my balls off.
Pedro:Man, I was hopin' you didn't have no balls.


Pedro:Man, what is in this shit, man?
Man: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.
Pedro: What's Labrador?
Man: It's dog shit.
Pedro: What?
Man: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.
Pedro: Yeah?
Man: I had it on the table and the little motherf*cker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?
Pedro: You mean we're smokin' dog shit, man?
Man: Gets ya high, don't it?I think it's even better than before, you know?
Pedro: Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.

siberian khatru
10-31-2006, 10:44 AM
Jefferson's brother: My brother's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us!

Jeff Spicoli: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes!

Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna shit!

Jeff Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?

Jefferson's Brother: First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us!

Stewie
10-31-2006, 10:49 AM
Jefferson's brother: My brother's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us!

Jeff Spicoli: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes!

Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna shit!

Jeff Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?

Jefferson's Brother: First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us!

On that note: (Paraphrasing)

Don't worry man! My dad's a TV repairman. He's got an awesome set of tools!

Nzoner
10-31-2006, 10:55 AM
Roy: Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?
Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.
Roy: Yeah, well he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a hint what it is. It's round, has three holes, and you put your fingers into it.
Ishmael: You leave Rebecca out of this.


Roy: Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one, whew.
[Takes a drink from the bucket]
Mr. Boorg: We don't have a cow. We have a bull.
Roy: I'm gonna brush my teeth.



Claudia: It must be hard to spank your monkey.
Ishmael: You have a monkey?

siberian khatru
10-31-2006, 10:59 AM
Roy: Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?
Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.
Roy: Yeah, well he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a hint what it is. It's round, has three holes, and you put your fingers into it.
Ishmael: You leave Rebecca out of this.


Roy: Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one, whew.
[Takes a drink from the bucket]
Mr. Boorg: We don't have a cow. We have a bull.
Roy: I'm gonna brush my teeth.



Claudia: It must be hard to spank your monkey.
Ishmael: You have a monkey?

Tanqueray and Tab.

ChiefButthurt
10-31-2006, 11:01 AM
My Favorite in Christmas Vacation

Cousin Ruby Sue: "Rocky is afraid that Santa isn't going to bring him anything. He's shittin bricks".

Clark Griswald: "Ruby you really shouldn't talk that way".

Cousin Ruby Sue: "Oh sorry...he's shittin rocks".

ROFL ROFL

The Rick
10-31-2006, 11:40 AM
My Favorite in Christmas Vacation

Cousin Ruby Sue: "Rocky is afraid that Santa isn't going to bring him anything. He's shittin bricks".

Clark Griswald: "Ruby you really shouldn't talk that way".

Cousin Ruby Sue: "Oh sorry...he's shittin rocks".

ROFL ROFL
And, another classic from that movie:

Cousin Eddie: "Sh*tter was full!"

ChiefsOne
10-31-2006, 11:50 AM
I don't have to be faster than the bear, just faster than you.
With Out A Paddle

Laughed my ass off!

tyton75
10-31-2006, 12:05 PM
And, another classic from that movie:

Cousin Eddie: "Sh*tter was full!"



Smells like fried pussycat.. hehe... Cousin Eddie

tyton75
10-31-2006, 12:08 PM
And they aren't really movie lines.. but Porkys where the fat gym teacher grabs his wang...

and the part where the whole gym is cracking up while that other gym teacher is nailing Kim Catrall..

as Chris Farley would say: That was awesome

Toad
10-31-2006, 02:28 PM
Chevy (Fletch)- 'Send the bill to the Underhills'.

Farley (Tommy Boy)-

'I've seen alot of things in my life, but...that...was..AWESOME!'
'Tommy like wingies'
'Housekeeping- me jerk you off' (actually Spade)
'Who's your favorite little rascal? Is it Alphalpha or is it Spanky?'
'Coulda' done without that'

Toad
10-31-2006, 02:30 PM
Smells like fried pussycat.. hehe... Cousin Eddie

Cousin Eddie - 'If that pussy cat had 9 lives, it just spent'em all'

Robo-Chachi
10-31-2006, 02:39 PM
This is where Anchorman went from OK movie to classic for me;


Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

InChiefsHell
10-31-2006, 03:53 PM
Gross Point Blank: (Paraphrased)

"What am I supposed to say to these people? Hi, I killed the President of Paraguay with a fork, how have you been?"

Over-Head
10-31-2006, 05:23 PM
Wasn’t in a movie, but a line that’s stuck with me a while came from the "My name is Earl"show.
"That's when I discovered that while a ginsue knife will cut through aluminum, it won’t cut through bone. So I’m STILL stuck in the bear trap, but now I’m bleeding"

Stewie
10-31-2006, 05:25 PM
Wasn’t in a movie, but a line that’s stuck with me a while came from the "My name is Earl"show.
"That's when I discovered that while a ginsue knife will cut through aluminum, it won’t cut through bone. So I’m STILL stuck in the bear trap, but now I’m bleeding"

ROFL

Anyong Bluth
10-31-2006, 05:51 PM
Sally Heep: Okay. I’m, like, really nervous, so I’m just gonna say this before I get all acid reflux and gurgle. I
have no idea why I kissed you. I mean, I think you’re cute, but, um, I just don’t go around tongue-throating cute
guys. I just—What you said suddenly made me wanna kiss you. That doesn’t explain why I did it, but . . .
Alan Shore: Sally. It’s okay.
Sally Heep: Really?
Alan Shore: Don’t worry about it.
Sally Heep: Thank you. starts to leave, as Alan Shore turns away Um . . . when you say it’s okay? How
okay?
Alan Shore: I beg your pardon?
8
Sally Heep: Well, I do sort of think you’re attractive. God, I promised myself I wouldn’t go there. Um . . .
Alan Shore: Sally, I think you’re a very attractive woman. But I’m . . . involved.
Sally Heep: Oh. Okay. Okay. Anyone I know?
Alan Shore: Myself, actually. And it’s quite serious. I’m not in the right place for a relationship.
Sally Heep: Okay. So, I’m gonna leave now. Bye.

Raiderhader
10-31-2006, 06:45 PM
Wedding Crashers: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
[makes sputtering motorboat noise]
You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?


I don't know why they split the scene up into three different parts, but oh well.

http://www.moviewavs.com/0085934086/WAVS/Movies/Wedding_Crashers/realproblems.wav

http://www.moviewavs.com/0085934086/WAVS/Movies/Wedding_Crashers/weretheyreal.wav

http://www.moviewavs.com/0085934086/WAVS/Movies/Wedding_Crashers/whatswrongwith.wav

GoHuge
10-31-2006, 06:47 PM
Wedding Crashers: "I don't even know what the f**k a quail is"

Raiderhader
10-31-2006, 06:52 PM
-Did you just soil yourself? Maybe! It did smell a little wet didn't it? Right at the end! Let's take a whiff. (Austin Powers and Fat Bastard)


http://www.moviewavs.com/0085934086/WAVS/Movies/Austin_Powers_In_Goldmember/soilyourself.wav

Raiderhader
10-31-2006, 06:58 PM
http://www.moviewavs.com/0085934086/WAVS/Movies/Wedding_Crashers/donteverleaveme.wav

Thig Lyfe
10-31-2006, 07:10 PM
Anchorman is basically just hilarious line after hilarious line.

whoman69
10-31-2006, 07:35 PM
This one needs a little lead up. In 1941 a Jap sub had gotten lost because its compass went bad. They had captured Slim Pickens who had a box of cracker jacks. Sure enough the prize was a compass and he had to swallow it before the Japs could get it. They fed him laxatives to try to get it. We see him sitting on the pot saying, "You aint gettin' shit outta me."

MarcBulger
10-31-2006, 08:09 PM
"I am not gay"

Billy Bob "Are you off your fuggin meds"

Merman' "did your daddy love you?"

Billy Bob "no my Dad was a )*(&(&(&( and put cigarette butts out on the back of my neck"

thebrad84
10-31-2006, 08:52 PM
National Lampoon's Vacation...

Clark Griswald: I think you're all ****ed in the head. We're ten hours from the ****ing fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much ****ing fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah out of your assholes! Ahh. ha. ha. ha. I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!

http://www.garnersclassics.com/wavs/vacat/quest.wav

Raiderhader
10-31-2006, 09:07 PM
http://www.moviewavs.com/0085934086/WAVS/Movies/Good_Morning_Vietnam/yowknow.wav