View Full Version : Poz - "I, too, will drink from the sack of Huard"

Anyong Bluth
10-31-2006, 03:37 AM
Did someone mail in an article. He rambles on about DH and then its like a brainfart that puked up various words and random thoughts. Guess that DH is so dreamy he causes our columnists to become drunk with backup love as he shoots wads of man rope in their general direction to lap up.


We here at The Second Guess, as a public service, now offer a step-by-step guide for how a quarterback controversy fires up.

(Editor’s note: In no way are we promoting a quarterback controversy in Kansas City. This is for informational purposes only).

First: Have starting quarterback get hurt and have backup play out of his mind.

In truth, the backup doesn’t have to play that well. In 1997, a seemingly washed-up 31-year-old veteran journeyman named Rich Gannon came in to replace injured Chiefs quarterback Elvis Grbac. At the time of his injury, Grbac was playing well enough for the Chiefs to be 7-2. Gannon promptly lost to Jacksonville. Then, he righted himself and played OK, though certainly nothing special. He completed 56 percent of his passes, threw seven touchdowns and four interceptions.

Ten years later, people are still screaming that Gannon should have been the starter for the playoff game against Denver and should have been the Chiefs quarterback for years to come. That’s the power of the backup quarterback.

If people loved Gannon, how much will they love backup Damon Huard? Just for the record: In six games, he has a 100.4 quarterback rating, third best in the NFL. It’s only six games, but he has completed 64 percent of his passes, he has thrown eight touchdowns and one interception. He has won four of those games. He has done all this with a makeshift offensive line and one wide receiver.

Second: Everybody must angrily deny there’s a quarterback controversy. Coaches and general managers will never admit that they’re in a tricky spot — that when the backup quarterback plays well it changes the dynamic. No, they always give you that line: “While we appreciate how well Billy Backup has played — and it’s good for the team to have a high-quality backup — we know who our starting quarterback is.”

Third: Starting quarterback comes back and struggles. This is inevitable. It happens every time.

Fourth: Fans boo. Talk radio howls. Columnists write with exclamation points!

Fifth: The backup quarterback — no matter how much of a team guy he might be — starts thinking, “Hey, I should be playing.” Teammates agree with him.

Sixth: The coach starts thinking like this: “Hmm, that backup quarterback was playing really well. And we’ve got to win a game. Maybe I’ll just put him in here in the second half — just to give us a boost.”

Seventh: Backup quarterback leads team to victory.

And then you have a full-blown, all-out, steel-cage-match quarterback controversy. Don’t kid yourself. It can happen in your neighborhood, too.

•The world champion Pittsburgh Steelers lost to Oakland, even though the Raiders quarterback completed five passes and their leading running back gained 55 yards. This is either the worst loss in NFL history or … no, that’s the only possibility. It’s the worst loss in NFL history.

•If somebody ever asks you why you don’t gamble on NFL games, your answer should be: the Carolina Panthers.

•And not just Carolina. There’s Jacksonville. Lost to Houston last week. Beat Philly this week. This from Pop Warner: “I know Jacksonville’s uniforms are the color of those ’70s mood rings, so can someone please tell me if there’s a way to read their mood before I pick them in the office pool?”

•You don’t really hear those “Donovan McNabb for MVP” shouts much anymore.

•What should the Arizona Cardinals “Football coach wanted” job listing look like?

Maybe something like this: “Are you looking for early retirement? A chance to get out of professional football and finally do all those things you’ve been promising yourself — spending time with the family, fishing, writing the great American novel? Well, this is your chance. Come coach the Arizona Cardinals for two or three seasons, and you will never have to worry about coaching in the NFL again.”

•Motorway writes in from London, where he believes we’re inching toward the day when NFL place-kickers will take over the earth. Seriously: Is there any other sport where a specialist like a place-kicker –– a guy who does something completely different from anyone else on the field — decides whether you win or lose?

This would be like a baseball game in the ninth inning, score tied, and the winner is decided by who can spit sunflower seeds the farthest.

•Chardon Jimmy offers some grudging respect to Michael Vick, who torched his Cincinnati defense this week. CJ was the president of the “Vick is Overrated” club. He has resigned his membership and has now started the offshoot “Ben Roethlisberger is a High School Quarterback” club.

•Second Guess pop observation of the week: We are concerned about the intellectual dishonesty of the “lol” Internet abbreviation. We feel that people rarely “laugh out loud” before typing in these letters. We here at The Second Guess would like, therefore, to offer a couple of more honest alternatives. We suggest “loti” for “laughing on the inside,” and “iath” for “I acknowledge the humor.”


1. When does Jon Gruden’s new book –– How I Ruined Tony Dungy’s Team — come out?

2. How many times before in NFL history do you think two Iowa State quarterbacks played on one NFL Sunday?

3. Our lyrical question comes from brilliant Second Guess reader Margaret Sarver: Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

10-31-2006, 03:45 AM
In 97, Marty made a stupid decision by starting Grbac in the first playoff game after Gannon lead the team for quite a few successful weeks.

This time around, there is time before the playoffs. Yes, you start Green when he is healthy enough. Now, if he is not healthy enough by the playoffs..... NO you don't start him.

Anyong Bluth
10-31-2006, 03:51 AM
Agreed, Gannon should have stayed- I'm not against pulling Trent if he doesn't seem to be playing as well, but you should at least give him a chance and playing Miami and Oakland seems like a decent tuneup

10-31-2006, 08:10 AM
I'm not sure who told Poz that this "Second Guess" idea was a good one... but, it's really time for someone to set him straight.

10-31-2006, 08:13 AM

10-31-2006, 08:22 AM
I'm not sure who told Poz that this "Second Guess" idea was a good one... but, it's really time for someone to set him straight.