PDA

View Full Version : Few Words Truly Describe 2006 Raiders


Count Alex's Losses
11-18-2006, 10:48 AM
http://chiefs.scout.com/2/591975.html

The Autumn Wind is a Raider – and hoo boy does it stink!

These Raiders are awful. I remember when it first dawned on me just how bad Oakland was. It was Week 1 of the NFL season and the Raiders were hosting San Diego on Monday Night Football.

Watching the game, I had the distinct impression that former Chiefs coach Marty Schottenheimer was deriving sadistic enjoyment from beating the Raiders – except that he wasn’t just beating them. Oh no. Marty had his foot on Oakland’s neck and was slowly squeezing the life out of them.

San Diego’s gameplan was so conservative that day that Dick Vermeil probably had to turn the game off. But Marty was enjoying it. He knew Oakland’s horrid offense had no chance of mounting even so much as a single touchdown drive against his defense.

He continued to run the ball, punting when necessary. San Diego racked up 48 rushing attempts that night. Oakland’s longest drive, prior to a 62-yard garbage time march, covered a meager 28 yards.

The nice thing is Oakland hasn’t really improved since then. I watched them on national TV again a few weeks later against Seattle. Mike Holmgren doesn’t quite have Marty’s deep-seated hatred for the Raiders, but he was busting out the same gameplan.

A Seahawks team that has struggled to run the ball all year was content to grind it out against the Raiders and let their defense do the heavy lifting. Seattle ran the ball 39 times and Oakland’s longest drive covered 53 yards. Oakland’s defense forced the Seahawks to punt eight straight times, yet Seattle was never really in danger of losing the game.

And this was a Seattle team that hasn't even been playing great defense this year. No matter, they shut the Raiders out, 16-0.

Even Jake Plummer could not throw away a game against the Raiders. Last week he threw three interceptions (four if you count the one the refs took away), but the Raiders would not accept his gift with open arms. They stomped their feet like a petulant child and said “NO! I WILL NOT WIN THIS GAME!!!”

That’s why I think the Chiefs will blow out this Raiders team tomorrow. I realize this series has been close in recent years, regardless of the records, but that was mostly because KC’s defense was usually awful.

That allowed Oakland, who did have a few offensive weapons at their disposal, to keep the game close. This year, it’s different. Oakland has the worst offense in the league, and Kansas City’s defense is respectable. The Raiders are barely averaging a touchdown per game on the road this year. I’ll be shocked if they come into Arrowhead and score more than 10 points.

So, how can we describe these Raiders? As it turns out, Oakland’s ineptness defies even Webster.

The Raiders perform on another plane of existence when it comes to being a bad football team. They are that bad.

We could sit here and use simple words like bad, horrible, awful and comical. They all lack something when it comes to defining these 2006 Raiders.

If we wanted to get slightly more wordy, we could describe these Raiders as catastrophic, inept, appalling, atrocious, ham-fisted or bumbling.

But in the end, we have to create a new set of adjectives in order to define the Raiders. Normal descriptors simply don’t measure up.

Perhaps we could describe Art Shell’s football team as “Blackledgian,” in honor of the biggest quarterback bust in Chiefs draft history. Maybe it would be apt to call them “Barteesian,” a reference to Mr. Crispy himself. To steal a term from Jason Whitlock (with my apologies to Phil Kloster), “TrINTish” might be an appropriate label for these Rotten Raiders, these men of the “Silver and Lack.”

But when you really think about it, if you’re a Chiefs fan, there is only one way to describe these Raiders: fun to watch.

CupidStunt
11-18-2006, 10:51 AM
This is supposed to be journalism?

Seattle shut out Oakland, 16-0.

Count Alex's Losses
11-18-2006, 10:52 AM
This is supposed to be journalism?

Seattle shut out Oakland, 16-0.

Eh, minor error. I'll correct it.

CupidStunt
11-18-2006, 10:53 AM
It'd be too late if you were writing for anything other than a crappy online fanboy site.

Count Alex's Losses
11-18-2006, 10:54 AM
It'd be too late if you were writing for anything other than a crappy online fanboy site.

I'm glad you enjoyed the article, lj4mvp. It's nice to know I have fans.

StcChief
11-18-2006, 10:57 AM
The best line...

these men of the “Silver and Lack”

CoMoChief
11-18-2006, 11:00 AM
You know there will be many on here eating crow if the Faiders were to win this Sun at Arrowhead. We just lost to a shitty Miami Dolphins team. Some of the worst football I have ever seen in my life was played last weekend in Miami. I wouldnt necessarily call this an automatic win. OAK almost beat DEN at their place.

Ugly Duck
11-18-2006, 11:07 AM
You know there will be many on here eating crow if the Faiders were to win this Sun at Arrowhead. We just lost to a shitty Miami Dolphins team. Some of the worst football I have ever seen in my life was played last weekend in Miami. I wouldnt necessarily call this an automatic win. OAK almost beat DEN at their place.

Herm is smart enough to use the SD/Seattle game plan against Oakland. Just run the ball & punt. Thats enough to beat this team.

StcChief
11-18-2006, 11:07 AM
You know there will be many on here eating crow if the Faiders were to win this Sun at Arrowhead. We just lost to a shitty Miami Dolphins team. Some of the worst football I have ever seen in my life was played last weekend in Miami. I wouldnt necessarily call this an automatic win. OAK almost beat DEN at their place.

This tells me more about Dungver than the Faiders

OctoberFart
11-18-2006, 11:26 AM
This tells me more about Dungver than the Faiders
Right, but if you compare Denvers game in Pitt with KC's what does that tell you about KC?? As much as I hate Denver it was obvious the rat was a little cocky in both of those games and ran a vanilla gameplan. In Denver the game was never as close as the score indicated as denver jumped out 13 on us and just ran clock out.

SNR
11-18-2006, 11:30 AM
You know there will be many on here eating crow if the Faiders were to win this Sun at Arrowhead. We just lost to a shitty Miami Dolphins team. Some of the worst football I have ever seen in my life was played last weekend in Miami. I wouldnt necessarily call this an automatic win. OAK almost beat DEN at their place.Give me a goddamn ****ing break.

If the Raiders win this game tomorrow, I hope morphius bans me for a month.

Write it down. Bank on it. Put it in your sig. Whatever. I GUARANTEE a Chiefs win tomorrow.

Bearcat
11-18-2006, 11:35 AM
Right, but if you compare Denvers game in Pitt with KC's what does that tell you about KC??
That we're a ~.500 team that has problems beating anyone outside of the NFC West :shrug:

Rooster
11-18-2006, 11:39 AM
You know there will be many on here eating crow if the Faiders were to win this Sun at Arrowhead. We just lost to a shitty Miami Dolphins team. Some of the worst football I have ever seen in my life was played last weekend in Miami. I wouldnt necessarily call this an automatic win. OAK almost beat DEN at their place.

I'm with you one this one. The records and previous stats mean nothing with this game. It's not like the Chiefs kick there ass last year. Exciting as hell to watch LJ dive in for the win but certainly no domination.

It will be a slug fest IMO. I see our defense scoring this week. :grovel:

OldTownChief
11-18-2006, 11:48 AM
Are they as bad as the 2006 Dolphins?

Count Alex's Losses
11-18-2006, 11:51 AM
Are they as bad as the 2006 Dolphins?

Hey now. Last week I wrote "don't be fooled by these chiefs." I wasn't predicting any blowouts.

OldTownChief
11-18-2006, 11:55 AM
Hey now. Last week I wrote "don't be fooled by these chiefs." I wasn't predicting any blowouts.

Your articles are getting a lot better, I enjoy reading them now.

Halfcan
11-18-2006, 08:33 PM
Bump- faders suck

blueballs
11-18-2006, 09:04 PM
if the Raiders are that bad tomorrow
and the Chiefs get a comftable lead
do they leave in Trent bring in Brodie or Huard

Deberg_1990
11-18-2006, 09:06 PM
My favorite thing about the 06 Raiders is that Art Shell hired a Bed and Breakfast manager to run his offense.......hilarious...