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Demonpenz
11-20-2006, 12:23 AM
My grandpa god bless him. Was a bi-polor crazy mother. He was just crazy. He was from the ukraine he had been in a concetraction camp in WW2 still had the scars well he bought me some soap for my 9th christmas. I loved the guy and I went over and hugged him. He barely spoke english and was crazy as hell but he was family. Sadly he died not too long after but that moment and my teary eyes after are caught on tape and are still laughed about in my family. What was the worst gift you ever got. On a strange sidestory my other grandpa who was cool as hell was a Med in WW2 and it made for some interesting get togethers!

KcMizzou
11-20-2006, 12:23 AM
slipper socks

"Bob" Dobbs
11-20-2006, 12:25 AM
This was only about 5 yrs ago. my sis-in-law gave me a friggin' PENCIL. My in-laws must hate me.

Rausch
11-20-2006, 12:25 AM
Sticking with the socks and salami...

SLAG
11-20-2006, 12:26 AM
no such thing...

i mean anything can be sold on ebay.. and for christmas.. its all profit

KurtCobain
11-20-2006, 12:29 AM
a pug. Got him from my nephew. He crapped everywhere for two weeks and I got rid of him. Fugly little thing.

Demonpenz
11-20-2006, 12:30 AM
all gore was still designing the internet when i got soap

Halfcan
11-20-2006, 12:30 AM
Three Saturday Night Fever records on the same Christmas day. I put that I wanted records and since that was all the rage-that is what I ended up with from my relatives. I burned them with lighter fluid.

The next xmas my sis got me Ozzy-Diary of a Madman! If you know the cover, you can imagine how appaled my family was-that made it that much better!!

oaklandhater
11-20-2006, 12:30 AM
2 litter of doctor pepper from my ex wifes parents after we bought em a ipod photo.......

Halfcan
11-20-2006, 12:33 AM
An authentic signed jersey by F#CKIN Trent Green-what a loser!!! I burned it, and then slapped my Grandma for being so stoopid-Pootie

Easy 6
11-20-2006, 07:51 AM
A carton of smokes, my dad came in threw'em at me and said "Here you go...smoke up Johnny"......eh...er......guess that really wasnt me, i was confusing myself with the guy from the Breakfast Club... :doh!:

jjjayb
11-20-2006, 08:00 AM
A carton of smokes, my dad came in threw'em at me and said "Here you go...smoke up Johnny"......eh...er......guess that really wasnt me, i was confusing myself with the guy from the Breakfast Club... :doh!:
ROFL

boogblaster
11-20-2006, 08:08 AM
glass slipper that didnt fit..still looking for that bitch it fit...

MOhillbilly
11-20-2006, 08:08 AM
WHAM LP.

Bwana
11-20-2006, 08:41 AM
I had a rich old aunt that bought my brother and I each a sweater that l swear were made from yak hair or something like that. She was up in Alaska in some Eskimo village on one of her exotic vacations and the local salesman of the year Muck Muck must have been on duty. "If" a person were to wear the damn things, they would have needed a shave first. Acting at its best upon opening those bad boys. "Geee, thanks aunt Barb! I have never had one of these before!" Within a week, they were donated to the local Salvation Army. Just not something one wears to high school in Billings, Montana, or anyplace else other than an Eskimo village or a gay pride rally without getting into a donnybrook. :shake:

Redrum_69
11-20-2006, 09:22 AM
WHAM LP.



This does not surprise me

siberian khatru
11-20-2006, 09:32 AM
Back in the 80s, I liked to occasionally wear Stetson cologne. Word got around the family, and one Christmas I got something like 3 gift sets of Stetson stuff -- cologne, aftershave, soap, etc. I used maybe 3/4ths of one bottle of cologne over the next year or two, the rest got tossed under the bathroom sink.

When we moved last summer, in clearing out the master bathroom I found one of those Stetson gift sets in near-mint condition in the back of the sink cabinet. I tossed it, finally.

Rain Man
11-20-2006, 11:40 AM
For all practical purposes, my great-grandmother was my grandmother, because she raised my mom in the absence of a mother.

Anyway, she was getting older by the time I was about ten, and when she bought Christmas gifts for me and my cousins, she accidentally wrote my name on all of the tags. (She misspelled it badly, but my name was the closest.)

So I opened up all of "my gifts" and when all was said and done someone noticed that my cousins had fewer gifts than me. A quick parental recon showed what had happened, and to fix the situation, they let my cousins take their pick of the gifts, and I got the last gift that was left. I don't remember what it was, but it was some kind of toy for a five year-old, and one of my cousins got to take a game that I really wanted. I was really bummed.

A few Christmases later, when I was probably 14 or 15, we did a "draw the name" kind of deal, and my name was drawn by a much older cousin who was somewhat poor with a very cheap husband. The general policy was that the gifts would go for $10 to $20, so it didn't need to be anything fancy, but my gift was the cheapest pair of dress socks they could possibly find (I almost never dressed up), and a free sample bottle of some kind of cologne (I didn't wear cologne.) Total value: probably $2, but more than that, it was a bit insulting in its laziness. Being a punky teenager, I didn't have my etiquette down yet, and it was so disappointing that I never even went over to do the required "thank you."

chagrin
11-20-2006, 11:43 AM
My father, whom I don't speak to, gave me a CATS VHS tape once, bastard - I hate that guy

Chiefnj
11-20-2006, 11:45 AM
For all practical purposes, my great-grandmother was my grandmother, because she raised my mom in the absence of a mother.

Anyway, she was getting older by the time I was about ten, and when she bought Christmas gifts for me and my cousins, she accidentally wrote my name on all of the tags. (She misspelled it badly, but my name was the closest.)

So I opened up all of "my gifts" and when all was said and done someone noticed that my cousins had fewer gifts than me. A quick parental recon showed what had happened, and to fix the situation, they let my cousins take their pick of the gifts, and I got the last gift that was left. I don't remember what it was, but it was some kind of toy for a five year-old, and one of my cousins got to take a game that I really wanted. I was really bummed.

A few Christmases later, when I was probably 14 or 15, we did a "draw the name" kind of deal, and my name was drawn by a much older cousin who was somewhat poor with a very cheap husband. The general policy was that the gifts would go for $10 to $20, so it didn't need to be anything fancy, but my gift was the cheapest pair of dress socks they could possibly find (I almost never dressed up), and a free sample bottle of some kind of cologne (I didn't wear cologne.) Total value: probably $2, but more than that, it was a bit insulting in its laziness. Being a punky teenager, I didn't have my etiquette down yet, and it was so disappointing that I never even went over to do the required "thank you."

You should have thrown some chicken noodle soup at the cheap bastards. You lost your burst even as a teen.

plbrdude
11-20-2006, 11:45 AM
i had an aunt who gave a bag of pop corn(unpopped variety of course) every year. i like pop corn but when your 10-12 it's not to cool.

Sully
11-20-2006, 11:50 AM
I got a talking Jesus doll from Toys for Tots one year.

Rain Man
11-20-2006, 12:00 PM
You should have thrown some chicken noodle soup at the cheap bastards. You lost your burst even as a teen.

Now chicken soup, that I could have used.

undercover
11-20-2006, 12:03 PM
When I was 12, I got a baby sister...

EEWWW!! The thought of my parents having sex still gives me nightmares to this day...

chagrin
11-20-2006, 12:09 PM
I got a talking Jesus doll from Toys for Tots one year.

Dude, that's a lawsuit right there, call the ACLU

Redrum_69
11-20-2006, 12:13 PM
EEWWW!! The thought of my parents having sex still gives me nightmares to this day...


Actually your mom aint half bad...


Your mom is like a monopoly boardgame...she'll take 2-8 players at a time, you gather around her rolling dice to see who goes first, you can buy and sell her "property" waiting for others to come along and land on her, and when its all through you realize you'd rather go directly to jail without passing go and collecting $200.00.

AZORChiefFan
11-20-2006, 12:18 PM
An Onion Blossom Machine. It was some hunk of plastic with blades kinda like an apple corer that would allow me to make an deep fried Onion Blossom or 'bloomin' Onion' as they are better known. Oh it came with a packet of batter too. I took it back and got some t-shirts or underwear.

ck_IN
11-20-2006, 01:39 PM
A set of finger paints.



I was 10 at the time.

Rooster
11-20-2006, 01:47 PM
In eighth grade my girlfriend at the time bought me a cassette single of "New Kids on the Block". I remember thinking, why in the hell would you buy me this. There wasn't a boy in America who wanted that crap. Oh well, I'm sure the necklace I gave her turned her neck green. :p

ChiefsFan4Life
11-20-2006, 02:06 PM
Gloves and a candle

Rain Man
11-20-2006, 02:13 PM
Oh! Oh! Wait a minute! I've got one that can't be beat!

It's a birthday present, not a Christmas present, but when I was in eighth grade, a friend of mine bought me a gift for my birthday. It was...

(drum roll please)...

badadadadadadadadadadada

...a poster of Ken Stabler.

Stewie
11-20-2006, 03:11 PM
Oh! Oh! Wait a minute! I've got one that can't be beat!

It's a birthday present, not a Christmas present, but when I was in eighth grade, a friend of mine bought me a gift for my birthday. It was...

(drum roll please)...

badadadadadadadadadadada

...a poster of Ken Stabler.

Wasn't he a child molester? Sure looked like it to me.

siberian khatru
11-20-2006, 03:15 PM
Oh! Oh! Wait a minute! I've got one that can't be beat!

It's a birthday present, not a Christmas present, but when I was in eighth grade, a friend of mine bought me a gift for my birthday. It was...

(drum roll please)...

badadadadadadadadadadada

...a poster of Ken Stabler.

Lucky. I got a poster of Dan Pastorini's Playgirl centerfold.

Baby Lee
11-20-2006, 03:23 PM
Aardvark fur coat.

siberian khatru
11-20-2006, 03:28 PM
Aardvark fur coat.

Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.

Baby Lee
11-20-2006, 03:37 PM
Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.
It went from absurd when the wife gave the dad that gift . . . to the sublime when the neighbor came to the front porch with the same friggen coat.

Rooster
11-20-2006, 03:41 PM
It went from absurd when the wife gave the dad that gift . . . to the sublime when the neighbor came to the front porch with the same friggen coat.

ROFL I love that movie. The Japanese street racer who speaks like Howard Cosell cracks me up every time. :)

siberian khatru
11-20-2006, 03:42 PM
ROFL I love that movie. The Japanese street racer who speaks like Howard Cosell cracks me up every time. :)

I let my kids watch it a month or so ago. Told them is was a minor classic. They loved it.

Logical
11-20-2006, 03:57 PM
Underwear, I kid you not. At one of those large family Christmas celebrations while all my cousins were getting toys I got a package of underwear.:banghead:

KILLER_CLOWN
11-20-2006, 04:07 PM
I was 8 when we headed over to my grandpa's who was about 5 years into alzheimers. He gave both me and my sister a dress and told my mom it was for her 2 daughters. I understood he was "Sick" so i sent him a thank you card, man was that tough because my mom told him to get me Rockem Sockem Robots and i got a dress instead.

Fish
11-20-2006, 04:14 PM
My grandmother prides herself in Christmas gifts. She puts so much effort into it, but her gift ideas are waaaay out there. She'll remember that shit and ask you about it a year or so later too.

Some of my Christmas highlights from granny.....

A steer skull... complete with horns.. (cause I'm an "outdoorsman"..?)
A 2 ft glass fish...
A thermometer type thing with floating temp markers inside liquid.....
A welcome mat shaped like a bear....
A large polished rock from Arizona....

Rain Man
11-20-2006, 04:28 PM
My grandmother prides herself in Christmas gifts. She puts so much effort into it, but her gift ideas are waaaay out there. She'll remember that shit and ask you about it a year or so later too.

Some of my Christmas highlights from granny.....

A steer skull... complete with horns.. (cause I'm an "outdoorsman"..?)
A 2 ft glass fish...
A thermometer type thing with floating temp markers inside liquid.....
A welcome mat shaped like a bear....
A large polished rock from Arizona....


I...I want all of those things. Particularly the Galilean Thermometer. In fact, I already have one in my home office.

Rain Man
11-20-2006, 04:29 PM
I was 8 when we headed over to my grandpa's who was about 5 years into alzheimers. He gave both me and my sister a dress and told my mom it was for her 2 daughters. I understood he was "Sick" so i sent him a thank you card, man was that tough because my mom told him to get me Rockem Sockem Robots and i got a dress instead.

We have a winner.


Though I must ask...how long was your hair at the time?

stumppy
11-20-2006, 04:31 PM
A couple years ago I got three white T-shirts and a piece of ass.





All four were two sizes to big.

Stewie
11-20-2006, 04:35 PM
A couple years ago I got three white T-shirts and a piece of ass.





All four were two sizes to big.

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

stumppy
11-20-2006, 04:35 PM
One Christmas when I was about 12 all I got for Christmas was a stocking cap and a pair of jersey gloves.



We were poor.

Baby Lee
11-20-2006, 04:36 PM
I was 8 when we headed over to my grandpa's who was about 5 years into alzheimers. He gave both me and my sister a dress and told my mom it was for her 2 daughters. I understood he was "Sick" so i sent him a thank you card, man was that tough because my mom told him to get me Rockem Sockem Robots and i got a dress instead.
I remember when my great-grandfather meant to give me a quarter, but gave me a Susan B. Anthony dollar instead.
Stupid kid that I was, I exclaimed "Cool!! A dollar."
The 'rents figure that kind of wealth could only go to my head, and insisted I give G-Gramps back the pecunium.

KC Jones
11-20-2006, 04:37 PM
One of my older sisters (the "creative" one) once gave everyone sweatshirts that she had custom torn and then glued sequins and other crap on and splashed paint on them. This was circa 1988-89, but even in the flash dance era there was no reason for men to go around looking like thrift store versions of tacky NJ jewish women:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://usajewish.com/images/Linda_Richman.jpg&imgrefurl=http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendid%3D26019&h=123&w=100&sz=7&hl=en&start=1&tbnid=Ohlelgz8h_HsgM:&tbnh=89&tbnw=72&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcoffee%2Btalk%2Bvaklempt%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-US%26sa%3DN

A few years later she got my brother and I 12" GI Joes...

which would have been cool and all but at the time I was 21 and he was 24. She said they would be collectors items one day.

Jenson71
11-20-2006, 04:37 PM
About three years ago (I would have been 16), my grandma got me (and all the other grankids) a stuffed animal. It was a stuffed moose with wooden legs. Everyone was asking "what the hell...?" and she said she didn't know what we'd do with it, use it as a footrest of something. See it was bad, and the kicker is, she knew it was.

ROFL

Baby Lee
11-20-2006, 04:43 PM
I just thought of one that was bad based on my particulars.
Entertainment 2004 coupon book.
Most of the coupons were BOGO or some variant thereof.
But I'm single, so if I'm eating alone, the coupons are worthless. And if I'm on a date, I'm d@mn sure not gonna pull out a huge coupon book in from of the baby-doll.
Pulled that effer out of my glove compartment a few weeks back completely unused.

BucEyedPea
11-20-2006, 04:45 PM
I can't remember anything as a bad gift.
But I may have given one.

This was in the 1990's: I gave my "enviro" brother some rainforest underwear that I personally made. I even sewed a rubber snake onto it. I'm the "creative" type too. ROFL

Jenson71
11-20-2006, 04:49 PM
I just thought of one that was bad based on my particulars.
Entertainment 2004 coupon book.
Most of the coupons were BOGO or some variant thereof.
But I'm single, so if I'm eating alone, the coupons are worthless. And if I'm on a date, I'm d@mn sure not gonna pull out a huge coupon book in from of the baby-doll.
Pulled that effer out of my glove compartment a few weeks back completely unused.

What? Are you telling me women don't find thrifty attractive?

Rooster
11-20-2006, 04:54 PM
This one goes down as the cheapest gift but I thought I would share since it was a Christmas present. My dad and step-monster are notorious for their inability to purchase gifts. My two brothers and I each received one of those large cans of popcorn one year when we were kids. The cans that have the three way cardboard divider inside where each section has a specific kind of popcorn one section for butter, one for caramel, one for cheesy popcorn. Okay you get the picture.

Well since there were three of us boysí receiving these cans my dad and step-monster proceeded to remove one flavor of corn out of each of the cans before they handed them out. By doing this they in essence kept an entire can of popcorn for themselves minus the can. Yes they actually took three different flavors of popcorn leaving each of us boys with an empty slot in our cans.

I canít remember what combination of the two remaining flavors we all got but they were all different. To this day, on my momís side, someone will bring up the infamous popcorn cans and we will laugh about it.

Fish
11-20-2006, 04:56 PM
This one goes down as the cheapest gift but I thought I would share since it was a Christmas present. My dad and step-monster are notorious for their inability to purchase gifts. My two brothers and I each received one of those large cans of popcorn one year when we were kids. The cans that have the three way cardboard divider inside where each section has a specific kind of popcorn one section for butter, one for caramel, one for cheesy popcorn. Okay you get the picture.

Well since there were three of us boysí receiving these cans my dad and step-monster proceeded to remove one flavor of corn out of each of the cans before they handed them out. By doing this they in essence kept an entire can of popcorn for themselves minus the can. Yes they actually took three different flavors of popcorn leaving each of us boys with an empty slot in our cans.

I canít remember what combination of the two remaining flavors we all got but they were all different. To this day, on my momís side, someone will bring up the infamous popcorn cans and we will laugh about it.

Wow.... I'd be pissed if they took the caramel one.... that's rough man....

Baby Lee
11-20-2006, 05:03 PM
Reminds me of this old story

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/pants.asp

Claim: For twenty-five years, two brothers-in-law traded the same pair of gift pants back and forth between them, each time finding more inventive ways to wrap them.

Status: True.

Origins: The
one present Roy Collette wasn't looking forward to getting for Christmas 1988 was those damned pants. Yet he knew he was in trouble as soon as the flatbed truck bearing a concrete-filled tank off a truck used to deliver ready-mix rolled up. Sure as God made little green apples, those pants had to be in there. And he was going to have to fish them out, else declare his brother-in-law the winner of a rivalry that had spanned 20 years.

Being the sport he is, brother-in-law Larry Kunkel thoughtfully supplied the services of a crane to hoist the concrete-filled tank off the flatbed.

What's this game, you ask? What was the significance of these pants, and why were two grown men going to such efforts year after year to retrieve them, only to send them off again?

It all began in 1964 when Larry Kunkel's mom gave him a pair of moleskin pants. After wearing them a few times, he found they froze stiff in Minnesota winters and thus wouldn't do. That next Christmas, he wrapped the garment in pretty paper and presented it to his brother-in-law.

Brother-in-law Roy Collette discovered he didn't want them either. He bided his time until the Christmas after, then packaged them up and gave them back to Kunkel. This yearly exchange proceeded amicably until one year Collette twisted the pants tightly and stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch wide pipe.

And so the game began. Year after year, as the pants were shuffled back and forth, the brothers strove to make unwrapping them more difficult, perhaps in the hope of ending the tradition. In retaliation for the pipe, Kunkel compressed the pants into a 7-inch square, wrapped them with wire and gave the "bale" to Collette. Not to be outdone, Collette put the pants into a 2-foot-square crate filled with stones, nailed it shut, banded it with steel and gave the trusty trousers back to Kunkel.

The brothers agreed to end the caper if the trousers were damaged. But they were as careful as they were clever. As the game evolved, so did the rules. Only "legal and moral" methods of wrapping were permitted. Wrapping expenses were kept to a minimum with only junk parts used.

Kunkel next had the pants mounted inside an insulated window that had a 20-year guarantee and shipped them off to Collette.

Collette broke the glass, recovered the trousers, stuffed them into a 5-inch coffee can, which he soldered shut. The can was put in a 5-gallon container filled with concrete and reinforcing rods and given to Kunkel the following Christmas.

Kunkel installed the pants in a 225-pound homemade steel ashtray made from 8-inch steel casings and etched Collette's name on the side. Collette had trouble retrieving the treasured trousers, but succeeded without burning them with a cutting torch.

Collette found a 600-pound safe and hauled it to Viracon Inc. in Owatonna, where the shipping department decorated it with red and green stripes, put the pants inside and welded the safe shut. The safe was then shipped to Kunkel, who was the plant manager for Viracon's outlet in Bensenville.

The pants next turned up in a drab green, 3-foot cube that once was a 1974 Gremlin. A note attached to the 2,000-pound scrunched car advised Collette that the pants were inside the glove compartment.

In 1982 Kunkel faced the problem of retrieving the pants from a tire 8 feet high and 2 feet wide and filled with 6,000 pounds of concrete. On the outside Collette had written, "Have a Goodyear."

In 1983 the pants came back to Collette in a 17.5-foot red rocket ship filled with concrete and weighing 6 tons. Five feet in diameter, with pipes 6 inches in diameter outside running the length of the ship and a launching pad attached to its bottom, the rocket sported a picture of the pants fluttering atop it. Inside the rocket were 15 concrete-filled canisters, one of which housed the pants.

Collette's revenge for the rocket ship was delivered to Kunkel in the form of a 4-ton Rubik's Cube in 1985. The cube was made of concrete that had been baked in a kiln and covered with 2,000 board feet of lumber.

Kunkel "solved the cube," and for 1986 gift-giving repackaged the pants into a station wagon filled with 170 steel generators all welded together. Because the pants have to be retrieved undamaged, Collette was faced with carefully taking apart each component.

What happened to the pants in 1987 is a mystery, and their 1988 packaging (concrete-filled tank) was mentioned at the beginning of this page. Sadly, 1989's packaging scheme brought the demise of the much-abused garment.

Collette was inspired to encase the pantaloons in 10,000 pounds of jagged glass that he would then deposit in Kunkel's front yard. "It would have been a great one - really messy," Kunkel ruefully admitted. The pants were shipped to a friend in Tennessee who managed a glass manufacturing company. While molten glass was being poured over the insulated container that held them, an oversized chunk fractured, transforming the pants into a pile of ashes.

The ashes were deposited into a brass urn and delivered to Kunkel along with this epitaph:

Sorry, Old Man Here lies the Pants. . . An attempt to cast the pants in glass brought about the demise of the pants at last.
The urn now graces the fireplace mantel in Kunkel's home.

Logical
11-20-2006, 05:08 PM
I remember when my great-grandfather meant to give me a quarter, but gave me a Susan B. Anthony dollar instead.
Stupid kid that I was, I exclaimed "Cool!! A dollar."
The 'rents figure that kind of wealth could only go to my head, and insisted I give G-Gramps back the pecunium.
Wow

Rain Man
11-20-2006, 05:13 PM
Underwear, I kid you not. At one of those large family Christmas celebrations while all my cousins were getting toys I got a package of underwear.:banghead:

I bet it was rather awkward when you started playing with your underwear in front of everybody.

Baby Lee
11-20-2006, 05:17 PM
I bet it was rather awkward when you started playing with your underwear in front of everybody.
There is a perfect 'pwned' pic of a pair of boys with their tidy-whities on their heads that would be precious to link to Logical's little anecdote

Logical
11-20-2006, 05:19 PM
I bet it was rather awkward when you started playing with your underwear in front of everybody.:hmmm:ROFL

CoMoChief
11-20-2006, 05:20 PM
I got a fishing lure once. Being the fact that I dont fish all that much here in Columbia I kinda thought it was a worthless gift, but its the attempt that matters right?

CoMoChief
11-20-2006, 05:27 PM
I wish I had a screencap of Will Ferrell giving that kid a breadmaker machine in the movie "Old School".