View Full Version : Non football...I need opinions...

01-19-2001, 12:50 PM
every day you read about robberies, shootings etc...and it happens all over the city, not just in the "bad" neighborhoods...

Well, my mom is elderly, but very independent. She drives all over and she's not afraid to go anywhere.

I, however, fear for her safety because most robbers prey on older people.

So what do I do? Tell her not to go out by herself? Tell her to carry a gun, which she wouldn't do anyway. Buy her mace?

Or just try not to worry and pray that nothing happens?

This is a crazy world and I'm at a loss as how to protect my loved ones when I'm not around...any suggestions?

01-19-2001, 02:29 PM
try not to worry? how do you do that? and i wouldn't even try to advise a person to buy a gun for another person.

i have a 87yr old granny, who keeps a pistol under her bed. she's always been a good shot and safe, but she's old and the more she thinks about something the more it bothers her.
i dont know if i worry about her safety as much as her judgement. and i'm not sure i'd worry about her any less if she was unarmed.

i do know there's no way in hell she'd let me or my father take it away from her.

sorry i'm not much help, but you've got a tough one.

01-19-2001, 02:37 PM
There is absolutely nothing you can do.

You might convince her to carry pepper spray or a siren alarm or a stun gun [cattle prod?], but she is still at the mercy of the scavengers amongst us. You said she is an independent woman, which is great, but that risk is the price you pay for independence.

There are guides and counseling on how to minimize your cross-section as far as the scavengers are concerned; simple precautions that make you less tempting to the thugs. But there is no cure. Some people stink.

As it was and ever shall be…

You will just have to continue worrying, as I do about my family and friends when I am not there.

offering very little comfort on this one.

01-19-2001, 02:41 PM
Thanks, more help than you know.

Rationally the odds that something will happen to a particular individual are pretty great, but it the **** has to happen to someone...

I guess I really can't worry myself about it. Just pray and as you said, try to educate her and other family members about what NOT to do...

[Edited by 58Forever on 01-19-2001 at 02:44 PM]

01-19-2001, 02:41 PM
I think you definitely want her to have a device for making a very loud noise. Also, it's probably worth trying to find a good self-defense video or something, just to learn the main things she needs to know to make her self a less-likely target.

Clint in Wichita
01-19-2001, 02:45 PM
I'd buy her some pepper spray AND try not to worry.

01-19-2001, 02:48 PM
I don't have any good answers for her while she is home, but I try to do something that we all can do, to "look out for each other's grand/mothers and old folks in general. I do my best to treat them like I would hope someone would treat my grandparents and parents..

I stop to check on older folks if they are on the side of the road, change tires, whatever..sometimes they are just resting or something..but i stop and check. I also scoop my elderly neighbors' snow, mow their yard if its hot or whatever..

If i'm changing a tire in the rain and cold, I just think how much tougher it would be for them, no one will be "hooking them for money(which i NEVER accept)" and that they'll be on the road safe(?).

Its a little step, but it may be your mom next time...its not much, but its something i just do...because i was taught.

Its just too bad there are 2 @$$oles in the world for every guy like me:)

Rick Stephens
01-19-2001, 02:51 PM
Tell her to be careful. The morning after Derrick Thomas died I stopped at a Quick Trip in Kansas City at 7:30 in the morning and had a female pull a gun from a purse and rob me.
Here in Califronia where I live, 6 weeks ago I was jumped by 2 thugs at a Burger King at 3:30 in the afternoon on a Saturday and had my wallet taken. Not much cash but credit cards , drivers license and everthing else you have to replace is a pain. These did not happen in bad areas. I now carry something for protection.
I am 55 years old so they don't just pick on the elderly.
Best if she doesn't travel alone. That seems to be what they look for.

Bob Dole
01-19-2001, 03:21 PM
Which QT was that? St. John and Belmont?

Rick Stephens
01-19-2001, 03:32 PM
Quick Trip was at I-635 and Kansas Ave. That big truck stop.

Mark M
01-19-2001, 03:39 PM
Like most others here, I don't have any sure-fire answers.

But you might tell her that, if she has to go out, to find a friend to go with her. People who do things like this may be less likely to go after two or more people than just a single one. My grandmother lives off of Brookside here in KC (and not the good part of it) and was constantly afraid to do anything. We told her to have her neighbors (also elderly) go with her when she goes to the store and she now feels more safe. Groups, as well as loud noises (or the capability to make them) have a tendency to make bad people look for easier targets. If you give her pepper spray or a stun gun, have her carry it out in the open so that anyone with bad intentions will know she is not to be taken lightly. Have her friends do the same.

Of course, now I have that Monty Python sketch with those old ladies going around beating everyone up running around my head. Not trying to make light of your situation, but that was a funny bit. :D

~~Just trying to help.

01-19-2001, 03:44 PM
Joe, there are no easy answers. A gun is useless in the hands of someone who is unwilling to use it. Pepper spray is probably the best answer. Make sure she knows how to use it.

Hopefully your mom doesn't live in a bad area, but unfortunately bad people do go to good areas. No place is completely safe anymore. I would recommend that you keep after your mom to be careful, and warn her to be aware of her surroundings and cognizant of the fact that she is a target. Someone who is confident and aware of what's going on around them is much less likely to be a victim.

You should also be thankful that she is vital and wants to get out and do things. The day she doesn't, you've got bigger problems than worrying about crime.

01-19-2001, 04:05 PM
As said, every area is bad these days...as a matter of fact, it seems worse in some of the more affluent hoods because crooks think they have more money...I guess I'll try the pepper spray and pray...try to make her more aware of her surroundings so she won't fall into any traps...it's funny, when you're young parents worry about the kids, then we get to worry about them...I guess it's natures payback...

Thanks for the feedback.

01-19-2001, 04:13 PM

Does she like dogs? A well trained Shepherd is about the best defense mechanism there is......???

01-19-2001, 04:16 PM
Excellent idea, Cormac. Great for companionship for an older person as well.

01-19-2001, 04:18 PM
Thanks Fraz. It's not as portable as some obviously, but it'd do a good job at home and on the street.

I kind of want one myself :)

01-19-2001, 04:19 PM
She's got a great watch dog at home, part chow, part shepard but he's too big to put in her purse...and he's too strong for her to handle on a leash...damn dog pulls me over when I walk him and I ain't no light weight...:)

What started all this was an article I read in the paper about this young punk who beat and robbed a lady that was in her 40s...beat her so bad she lost an eye...but I guess, as I read earlier, age doesn't matter if the scum wants you, it's you he or she is gonna get...anywhere, anytime...

01-19-2001, 04:19 PM
Thanks Fraz. It's not as portable as some obviously, but it'd do a good job at home and on the street.

I just remember hearing a long time ago that a fierce bark was the biggest deterrent against home burglaries.

I kind of want one myself :) (as a pet!)

01-19-2001, 04:28 PM
I'd like to have a dog, too, but living in the city its too much of a pain in the a$$. Plus, I think it's kind of cruel to keep a big dog in a small apartment. Instead, I have cats. Not much security value, but you don't have to walk them when its freezing outside.

For security I have a 38 and a 9mm holstered to my headboard, along with the training and will to use them if I need to. I sleep pretty well at night.

Joe, your mom's likely most vulnerable at home - I assume she doesn't spend a lot of time out at night or deliberately put herself in harm's way. As Cormac says, a big dog with a big bark is a great deterrant.

01-19-2001, 04:33 PM
Fraz, no she doesn't go out too much at night so the dog is more than adequate protection while she's there...want to see something funny, walk by my house some night...that big old dog jumps up on the window seal facing the street and barks his head off...better than an alarm...I've seen people actually cross to the other side of the street when they see the dog barking at them...great advertisement...

"Don't **** with this house if you want you balls!"...:mad:

01-19-2001, 04:37 PM
That's the great thing about a dog. I can't advertise that I have the guns - if I did, the Communists that run Chicago would take them away from me and throw me in jail. You gotta love that end run around the Constitution.

01-19-2001, 04:42 PM
Or worse yet, the punks would come in and steal your guns...if you didn't get the first shot off...:)

I've got a .40 caliber Baretta next to my pillow...almost as comforting as a women...it's legal to carry my gun in a holster, not concealed, anywhere I want to go here in good old KC, as long as it's not loaded...think I could get away with that?...a punk comes up to me and starts some **** just because I have the gun..."excuse me Mr. Robber while I get the clip and load my gun. Thanks for your patience." POW....:D

01-19-2001, 04:48 PM
I feel the same way. Some shadowy figure is standing in my bedroom door - I'm sure he'll wait while I get the shotgun out of the closet, remove the trigger lock, get the shells from the locked drawer in the other room and then point it at him. Yeah, right.

Some sage advice:

1. Better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.

2. Its better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.

01-19-2001, 05:04 PM
Hey, Joe, I noticed from your profile that you and I are in the same line of work. Drop me an e-mail if you can - I have some questions about the KC job market.


01-19-2001, 05:05 PM
I'll give you the same advice I gave my ex-wife, worried about driving alone but not wanting to carry a gun. She already carried a whistle and pepper spray, I got her a hammer with a short handle to carry in the car between the seats. (A short handle means you can get a good swing inside a car, saw off 2 inches if need be)

A hammer? What the ...?
1)Everyone knows how to use one, likewise the 'bad guy' knows what it'll do to him.
2)It's cheap & legal, tho you or I might make a cop nervous if he sees us with one, ladies aren't in the same category. Carry a few nails if you feel an explanation is needed...you were putting up garage sale signs.
3)A hammer doesn't require the strength of Hercules to be d*mned effective inside a car. Even a drunken car-jacker knows what a hammer will do to his hand on your steering wheel.
4)There's a psychological advantage to feeling 'armed and able to deal with a situation' and a $3 hammer may be all that's required to change a person's mindset from 'victim' to 'reach in here, you're gonna draw back a mashed stub'.
If you tell 'em to shout "I am Godzilla, you are Japan" while waving that hammer around, I guarantee good results.
5)It's not a gun or a knife. There's a mindset that certain people have about real 'weapons' that doesn't extend to household tools. I'm fond of weapons and recognize 'em even when they masquarade as household tools.
Me and Thor, we know a good thing when we see one.

01-19-2001, 05:52 PM
Have you told your mom about ChiefsPlanet?