PDA

View Full Version : Okay, I'm officially depressed.


Rain Man
12-12-2006, 09:08 AM
An employee was doing an administrative task, and just came in and said, "You're over 50, right?"

Me: "Huh?"

Employee: "You're over 50?"

Me: "50 what?" (I'm thinking, 'what in the heck is he talking about?')

Employee: "50 years old. You're over 50, aren't you?"

Me (incensed): "You...what? I'm 43. 43. And I'm a young 43."

Employee (backing away): "Oh. Uh...sorry. For some reason, I...sorry."

Me (rising from desk): "50? You thought I was over 50? What is that about? I'm young! I'm vital! I'm 43!"

(Employees runs away.)

I think I'm going to run off and hop a tramp freighter to South America. Either that, or just curl up for a while in the little leg area underneath my desk.

PastorMikH
12-12-2006, 09:10 AM
Fire the employee in front of everyone. That's the last time anyone will say you are 50. Besides the surge of power you feel during the firing will make you feel 10 years younger.

noa
12-12-2006, 09:10 AM
Hookers always cheer me up

DaFace
12-12-2006, 09:10 AM
I'll take 'em down a notch for ya in a few weeks.

siberian khatru
12-12-2006, 09:11 AM
It could be worse. You could be a fat woman whom everyone asks when the baby is due.

Rain Man
12-12-2006, 09:13 AM
I'll take 'em down a notch for ya in a few weeks.

Word of note: I'm 43, and I'm a young-looking 43. Please let the others know that.

Ecto-I
12-12-2006, 09:13 AM
I know how you feel...Last week, some girl guessed I was 29...29! I'm already not too happy to be in my late early 20's (I'm 23) but to say I'm 29!?! I mean that's only a year from 30!

:D

bkkcoh
12-12-2006, 09:14 AM
Do you need this....

https://www.sirindia.com/products/images/10125659.jpg

DaFace
12-12-2006, 09:14 AM
Word of note: I'm 43, and I'm a young-looking 43. Please let the others know that.

Really? I thought you were in your mid-30's. :D

Rain Man
12-12-2006, 09:15 AM
Okay, so my hair's thinning a little. Maybe a lot. And there's some gray in my beard. That's just distinguished. Distinguished!

PastorMikH
12-12-2006, 09:15 AM
I'll take 'em down a notch for ya in a few weeks.



(Pssst... Don't run ALL the old man's employees off, he isn't 30 anymore. Without help he'd never stay caught up.)


:)

Donger
12-12-2006, 09:16 AM
I was chatting with the young lady at the bank the other day. She suddenly asked how old I was and replied, "Oh wow. You're as old as my Dad."

I almost threw my suckers at her.

stumppy
12-12-2006, 09:17 AM
I was carded a lot in my 30's when I was buying liquor.

Rain Man
12-12-2006, 09:18 AM
Really? I thought you were in your mid-30's. :D

You're going to go far.

ChiefFripp
12-12-2006, 09:19 AM
I'm 30 but most people tell me I look like I'm in my early to mid twenties. I get regular exercise and don't drink often or smoke at all. Combine that with the fact everyone on my mother's side of the family looks really young for their age...

I do however have some grey hair at my temples.

KC-TBB
12-12-2006, 09:23 AM
Youth a feeling it is! Old age is when you lose that feeling...keep the force strong and feel up a youth...(JUST KIDDING)...

Nzoner
12-12-2006, 09:24 AM
Here's a little holiday cheer you up Kevin

http://tinyurl.com/yl784f

ChiefFripp
12-12-2006, 09:25 AM
Stay away from crystal meth and crack! Independence Missouri looks like the city of the undead for a reason.

siberian khatru
12-12-2006, 09:26 AM
Here's a little holiday cheer you up Kevin

http://tinyurl.com/yl784f

TURN ONS: Men under 40.

TURN OFFS: Men in their 40s who look 50.

Amnorix
12-12-2006, 09:26 AM
Here's a little holiday cheer you up Kevin

http://tinyurl.com/yl784f

That's one of his interns, I think...

Amnorix
12-12-2006, 09:28 AM
Do you need this....

https://www.sirindia.com/products/images/10125659.jpg


More like:

http://www.losangeleshair.com/Hwood1.jpg

DaFace
12-12-2006, 09:28 AM
That's one of his interns, I think...

Really? :rockon:

Rain Man
12-12-2006, 09:31 AM
More like:

http://www.losangeleshair.com/Hwood1.jpg


Perhaps I should look into this. And a bunch of plastic surgery and stuff.


And is it just me, or do other people think that suspenders are sexy on women?

Nzoner
12-12-2006, 09:35 AM
TURN ONS: Men under 40.

TURN OFFS: Men in their 40s who look 50.

Now you really did it,this will be kev at the company Christmas party


http://tinyurl.com/ygeyh7

Donger
12-12-2006, 09:36 AM
And is it just me, or do other people think that suspenders are sexy on women?

Yes. Yes, they are. Particularly when they only partially cover the nipples.

But, a crisp, white dress shirt, provacatively unbuttoned and white tube socks will suffice in a pinch.

kc rush
12-12-2006, 09:39 AM
I am starting to catch up to my age. I used to look much younger than I actually am, but only moderately so now.

At least my hair line is intact unlike most of my friends. I get a good chuckle out of that.

ChiefFripp
12-12-2006, 09:39 AM
When a woman is wearing a dress shirt and nothing else, and lifts her arms in the air, pulling her shirt up to reveal her pubic area, that turns me on the most.

Rain Man
12-12-2006, 09:40 AM
I've got bad news for you people. 85% of you can't look younger than your age, most likely. I think you have to take whatever response you provided, and then move two notches further into the 'older' column to get an accurate reading.

morphius
12-12-2006, 09:40 AM
People have guessed me at about 8 years younger, though I think I may have aged a bit in the last 7 months...

bkkcoh
12-12-2006, 09:42 AM
I've got bad news for you people. 85% of you can't look younger than your age, most likely. I think you have to take whatever response you provided, and then move two notches further into the 'older' column to get an accurate reading.


Just because you don't looker younger than your age, don't bring the rest of us down....


%(/ :Poke:
j/k

Rain Man
12-12-2006, 09:42 AM
Yes. Yes, they are. Particularly when they only partially cover the nipples.



I agree that that enhances the look. But even ordinary suspenders in ordinary clothes make me feel young again, even if I apparently look like Lizzie Bolden's oldest uncle.

Phobia
12-12-2006, 09:42 AM
And is it just me, or do other people think that suspenders are sexy on women?

Well, not all women, just some women.

JimNasium
12-12-2006, 09:48 AM
http://users.belgacom.net/ddddv/colors_experimental/433_ex.jpg + http://www.johnbmcnamara.com/images/roman/cpr044.jpg = http://www.geogr.uni-goettingen.de/kus/pics/vn3/vn1999-bremer-old-man-medium1.jpg

Rooster
12-12-2006, 09:57 AM
I’m glad you started this thread Rain Man. I had something similar happen to me last week and wanted to share but hadn’t. I was truly taken back by the reality of how younger people see me.

I was taking some jeans back to the mall that my wife had purchased for me and the waist was way to tight. (That’s another sad story all together.) While washing up after taking a break in the restroom of the mall I notice Christmas music being pipe in via the mall speaker system. I think to myself “God I hate Christmas music” and make my way toward the door.

As I make my way toward the door I hear laughing and singing coming my way down the adjacent hallway. I can tell that they are male voices. I meet one teenage kid at the door and he goes from laughing to a straight face and doesn’t say a word but “sorry”. I thought that was odd and gave him my patented ‘How’s it going nod’ and proceed to open the door a second time.

I meet teenage boy II at the door and he is singing loudly to the Christmas music provided by the mall. Only instead of Christmas lyrics he is replacing them with pot smoking lyrics. He looks at me and also says ‘sorry’. I chuckle and say that’s alright and make my way out the door.

As the door is closing behind me I hear teenage boy II say to teenage boy I. “Its okay man, I’m sure he smoked pot in his day.”

In his day!! In his day!! I thought to myself. I’m 30 years old, this is still my day you little punk. It was at that moment that I realized how the young people see me. It was very eye opening. :(

siberian khatru
12-12-2006, 09:57 AM
I got carded at Sam's Club last Saturday. Seriously.

JimNasium
12-12-2006, 09:58 AM
I got carded at Sam's Club last Saturday. Seriously.
Well, you are a young looking 40 year old.

DaFace
12-12-2006, 10:00 AM
I got carded to get into a rated R movie a year ago.

morphius
12-12-2006, 10:01 AM
I got carded to get into a rated R movie a year ago.
hehe, I did expect you to be a little older then you were. But I try not to have many expectations when meeting someone off the internet for the first time.

Nzoner
12-12-2006, 10:06 AM
I had a cute little waitress at 54th street keep calling me sir the other day,I had to fantasize that she was really into bondage to make myself feel better.

siberian khatru
12-12-2006, 10:06 AM
Well, you are a young looking 40 year old.

I wish I were as hip as I looked. ;)

DaFace
12-12-2006, 10:07 AM
hehe, I did expect you to be a little older then you were. But I try not to have many expectations when meeting someone off the internet for the first time.

I think it's clear that I'm below the average age of this board. Oh well, I don't mind hanging out with all you old guys. :p

Rain Man
12-12-2006, 10:07 AM
I got carded at Sam's Club last Saturday. Seriously.

I didn't know they sold porn at Sam's Club.

ZepSinger
12-12-2006, 10:08 AM
I've been told all my adult life that I look at least 10 years younger than I am-- I attribute that to the fact that I'm in great shape, have all my hair, and still basically feel (and thereby act) like a kid.... :)

Z

siberian khatru
12-12-2006, 10:09 AM
I didn't know they sold porn at Sam's Club.

Ahem, thanks to the Internet I don't have to BUY my porn, thank you very much.

Nzoner
12-12-2006, 10:10 AM
I've been told all my adult life that I look at least 10 years younger than I am-- I attribute that to the fact that I'm in great shape, have all my hair, and still basically feel (and thereby act) like a kid.... :)

Z

hair is overrated

Rain Man
12-12-2006, 10:10 AM
Y'know, JimNasium, there's another sad story with the car. My wife had a tact spasm the other day, and she said, "It's funny. Whenever I see someone in a sporty convertible, they're all old bald men. I guess you can't afford a sporty convertible until you're old." (Lilting laugh, then looks at me with my horrified expression.) "Oh. Sorry. But it's true."

I have become a non-entity.

DaFace
12-12-2006, 10:12 AM
Ahem, thanks to the Internet I don't have to BUY my porn, thank you very much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PahPSyzsVFs

The video's weird, but it's the only place I could find the song without having to download it.

bkkcoh
12-12-2006, 10:12 AM
Y'know, JimNasium, there's another sad story with the car. My wife had a tact spasm the other day, and she said, "It's funny. Whenever I see someone in a sporty convertible, they're all old bald men. I guess you can't afford a sporty convertible until you're old." (Lilting laugh, then looks at me. "Oh. Sorry. But it's true."

I have become a non-entity.


My 15 y/o daughter has noticed that most nice cars are driven by middle-aged people and wondered why, I told her it was because they couldn't afford a nice car like that until they got rid of thier kids. then they could afford the Mercedes or some other luxury car....

Dave Lane
12-12-2006, 12:05 PM
I get guessed at younger than my age alot. And I am over 50.

Dave

bkkcoh
12-12-2006, 12:07 PM
I get guessed at younger than my age alot. And I am over 50.

Dave


Ouch, that is salt in the wound.. You must not have any gray hair either, huh. Wait don't answer. Someone may get upset... :)

luv
12-12-2006, 12:13 PM
I'm 30, and I still get carded for alcohol. Considering they're supposed to card anyone who doesn't look at least 27, I'd say I'm doing good. I don't know how to answer the poll though. I guess I've lived life with relatively little stress compared to others. It might be genetic. I don't know. I act younger, but would that make me look younger?

Dave Lane
12-12-2006, 12:15 PM
Ouch, that is salt in the wound.. You must not have any gray hair either, huh. Wait don't answer. Someone may get upset... :)

Well actually I don't have any gray hair. But thats thanks to Clairol nice and easy...

Dave

'Hamas' Jenkins
12-12-2006, 12:21 PM
I said a little older b/c I'm 24 and a lot of times I don't get carded (but maybe it's the facial hair)...

bkkcoh
12-12-2006, 12:22 PM
I'm 30, and I still get carded for alcohol. Considering they're supposed to card anyone who doesn't look at least 27, I'd say I'm doing good. I don't know how to answer the poll though. I guess I've lived life with relatively little stress compared to others. It might be genetic. I don't know. I act younger, but would that make me look younger?


Luv,

don't flatter yourself. They were just trying to make you feel good. I have seen that many times before.... Actually did it a couple of times myself when working at a convenience store. Did it just to make the woman feel good!!!!!


I am sure that was the case with you.... ;)

Rain Man
12-18-2006, 06:12 PM
That's it. I'm shaving off the beard as soon as Spring comes. My accountant, who I've known for years, was sending me stuff today, and said, "Since you're 53, you can...."

I'm 43! 43, dammit!

cdcox
12-18-2006, 06:26 PM
At 45, I marked moderately younger. A few years ago I would have marked much younger. At 40 I could have easily passed for 30 and much younger to some non-observant people. But the grey hair and stress lines are taking their toll. But I'm still a sharp haircut and a few botox injections from looking in my mid-30s.

Sure-Oz
12-18-2006, 06:32 PM
I'm 27 and most people guess my age as 20-23 almost all the time.

KcMizzou
12-18-2006, 06:36 PM
I'm 32. People generally guess 26-28 or so.

trndobrd
12-18-2006, 06:43 PM
That's it. I'm shaving off the beard as soon as Spring comes. My accountant, who I've known for years, was sending me stuff today, and said, "Since you're 53, you can...."

I'm 43! 43, dammit!


Fire everyone! Hire only employees 65+. They will all call you things like "Sonny" and "Whipersnapper" and talk about the Great Depression. You will feel much younger.

As an added benefit, you will be able to pay them a nickel an hour, some might even accept Confederate script.

HemiEd
12-18-2006, 06:44 PM
Haggard, I plan on sliding in all used up.

Fairplay
12-18-2006, 06:45 PM
I'm 27 and most people guess my age as 20-23 almost all the time.


You probably get your I.D. out ahead of time when getting the brew i would imagine.

KcMizzou
12-18-2006, 06:47 PM
Fire everyone! Hire only employees 65+. They will all call you things like "Sonny" and "Whipersnapper" and talk about the Great Depression. You will feel much younger.

As an added benefit, you will be able to pay them a nickel an hour, some might even accept Confederate script.Good advice. IIRC, you could ask Hoover for more pointers.

Sure-Oz
12-18-2006, 06:57 PM
You probably get your I.D. out ahead of time when getting the brew i would imagine.
Actually on my id have a mustache and look like im in my 30's easy, the people always give me weird looks wondering if its fake haha. When i have facial hair i look much older, when shaved i dont. It's pretty funny seeing the reactions. I pretty much have a smirk everytime i have to get the ID out hehe

Oucho Cinco
12-18-2006, 07:11 PM
I've been told all my adult life that I look at least 10 years younger than I am-- I attribute that to the fact that I'm in great shape, have all my hair, and still basically feel (and thereby act) like a kid.... :)

Z

Are you keeping all of your hair in a box? I tried that for a while but it didn't work out so well. Mice kept getting into the box and making nests.

Tribal Warfare
12-18-2006, 07:53 PM
I always laugh when people always assume my sister is older than I am. She's 23 and I'm 25