PDA

View Full Version : Broken Condom Blues


sedated
12-12-2006, 01:36 PM
Any words of wisdom for a suddenly expecting (yet unexpected) father?


Same old story:

- Boy meets girl at company training seminar in New York

- Broken condom + perfect time of the month - birth control + anti-abortion beliefs = Baby due next summer

- Girl drops out of school and moves across country to live with boy and raise child.

BigVE
12-12-2006, 01:40 PM
MOVE. QUICKLY!!!!

DaFace
12-12-2006, 01:40 PM
http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/9757/antifreezeyx5.jpg

Seriously, though, good luck man.

BigVE
12-12-2006, 01:42 PM
Nah, good luck. Try your best to be a decent dad. You wont be perfect but if you try hard you will do OK. AND, teach your future kid how birth control is supposed to work and hopefully he/she wont repeat your mistake/choice. ? Good luck.

siberian khatru
12-12-2006, 01:42 PM
You should've told her your name was Phil Kloster.

DMAC
12-12-2006, 01:43 PM
Drive your car into a mall.

Bugeater
12-12-2006, 01:45 PM
Sleep now, while you still can.

RP_McMurphy
12-12-2006, 01:46 PM
Enjoy the new life as every day is a joy to have a child of your own. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for my three children. So you have to adjust some things and what not. As soon as you see that face and feel that life in your arms you will be humbled beyond belief.

booyaf2
12-12-2006, 01:46 PM
It'll be alright. That first year is tough, but kids are cool.

pak1983
12-12-2006, 01:47 PM
kevin, you have got to be ****ing kidding me. when I saw the thread title I thought it would be you,then second guessed cause I thought u were virgin. wow!

FAX
12-12-2006, 01:50 PM
Settle down, raise a family, enjoy your lives together. That's what I did.

Oh, and sue the condom manufacturer. They'll settle for a year's supply of diapers.

FAX

noa
12-12-2006, 01:51 PM
This could be the best thing to happen to you...just make sure your heart is in the right place when you go through with this.

HonestChieffan
12-12-2006, 01:51 PM
Get a DNA test before you do anything.

Frazod
12-12-2006, 01:52 PM
1. Sucks to be you.

2. Thank God it never happened to me.

Phobia
12-12-2006, 01:53 PM
You should've told her your name was Phil Kloster.

That's horrible advice. Trust me, I know better than most.

Donger
12-12-2006, 01:54 PM
I had a girl once 'alter' a condom of mine before we had sex. Luckily, I had taken notice of some signs of her strange behavior before-hand. Some of the best advice I ever had from my brothers.

DMAC
12-12-2006, 01:54 PM
Get a DNA test before you do anything.Do that, but call Sally Jesse Raphael first and do it on daytime TV.

Redrum_69
12-12-2006, 01:54 PM
Coat hanger?


< insert bowl of antifreeze >

Jenson71
12-12-2006, 01:56 PM
Look for the silver lining, is about all the advice I can give. He or she will grow up and be your best friend, possibly, and you'll have better times with him/her than anyone you have had with ever in your life. So not everything is bad, do your best.

luv
12-12-2006, 01:58 PM
Don't immediately get married. Being married does not make for better parents. If things work out, cool. If not, he can still be there for his child and not be stuck in a miserable marriage.

KC-TBB
12-12-2006, 01:58 PM
The condoms broke
now so am I...
She's moving to Kansas,
I don't know why...
She's bringing the Baby,
so I'm starting to cry...
It's the broken condom blues...oh yeah!!! :rockon:

Phobia
12-12-2006, 01:58 PM
Seriously though - your whole life will be turned upside down. View it as an opportunity and develop some selflessness and you will be the best father in the world. View it as an intrusion upon your life and you're going to make your life worse and their lives miserable. At this point it's all on you, man. I hope you approach it with a great attitude.

Sully
12-12-2006, 01:59 PM
Is it appropriate to throw in an...

Oh Snap!!!"
here?

htismaqe
12-12-2006, 02:01 PM
I should hook you up with my ex-wife's husband. This is precisely the predicament he found himself in.

pak1983
12-12-2006, 02:02 PM
DUDE CALL MONTEL OR MAURY AND GET A PATERNITY TEST!!!

Phobia
12-12-2006, 02:02 PM
I should hook you up with my ex-wife's husband. This is precisely the predicament he found himself in.

I doubt becoming gay is going to be of any help in this situation.

Redrum_69
12-12-2006, 02:05 PM
I should hook you up with my ex-wife's husband. This is precisely the predicament he found himself in.


Oh damn...Field of Dreams two incoming.....

htismaqe
12-12-2006, 02:06 PM
I doubt becoming gay is going to be of any help in this situation.

I guess I served that one up on a silver platter, didn't I?

sedated
12-12-2006, 02:06 PM
DUDE GET A PATERNITY TEST!!!

can't be done until baby is born.

but it will be done.

you will never see so many emotions at a single moment as when you say the words "paternity test" to a pregnant woman

Redrum_69
12-12-2006, 02:08 PM
can't be done until baby is born.

but it will be done.

you will never see so many emotions at a single moment as when you say the words "paternity test" to a pregnant woman



was this her first time? was alcohol involved? is this your first time?

Redrum_69
12-12-2006, 02:08 PM
If you need a lawyer...call me...I represented Mecca...and WON

Phobia
12-12-2006, 02:10 PM
Dude - I'd like to discuss this with you further and I'm happy to provide my phone number. I've walked in your shoes. I don't have all the answers but I do have some wisdom. Feel free to drop me a PM or not. Best of luck in any case.

Donger
12-12-2006, 02:11 PM
I guess I served that one up on a silver platter, didn't I?

More like a sequin dress.

Reerun_KC
12-12-2006, 02:13 PM
Sorta happened to me oh 15 years ago. I married her, we have a beautiful family and she is my best friend and life long partner...

We celebrate our 15 year anniversary later this month. We were 18 and 17 when we married.

I hope it works the best for you... I wouldnt replace mine for the world.

Predarat
12-12-2006, 02:13 PM
Don't immediately get married. Being married does not make for better parents. If things work out, cool. If not, he can still be there for his child and not be stuck in a miserable marriage.

:harumph: :banghead: :mad: :cuss:
Thanks for posting my post dammit. I'm trying to get to 1000 by Friday so i'll just quote you and bitch.

But thats seriously good advice, be the best father you can be but don't jump into marriage.

seclark
12-12-2006, 02:15 PM
been there, done that. got married within 3weeks of the day i found out and wound up w/twins instead of just one. been married for over 26years now. wasn't easy, but i wouldn't change a thing.

not quite sure if the wife feels that way though.
sec

booyaf2
12-12-2006, 02:20 PM
been there, done that. got married within 3weeks of the day i found out and wound up w/twins instead of just one. been married for over 26years now. wasn't easy, but i wouldn't change a thing.

not quite sure if the wife feels that way though.
sec


I had twins too the first go around. I wouldn't change a thing either, other than my wife's mood the last 2 years. Surely it'll get better though.

HonestChieffan
12-12-2006, 02:22 PM
Rule to live by:


"Don't dip your pen in company ink"

sedated
12-12-2006, 02:23 PM
wound up w/twins instead of just one.

:eek:

dear god, no.

hadn't considered that

seclark
12-12-2006, 02:25 PM
:eek:

dear god, no.

hadn't considered that
we hadn't either...nor the doctor. i was 19 and she was 18. we've pretty much grown up w/our children.
sec

HonestChieffan
12-12-2006, 02:33 PM
Kids are expensive too

Donger
12-12-2006, 02:35 PM
Surely it'll get better though.

Good luck with that.

banyon
12-12-2006, 02:38 PM
Wow dude. It seems like it was just less than 6 months ago when I knew you as acarefree irresponsbile boozer...




:eek: Um, that was 6 months ago! Christ!

bringbackmarty
12-12-2006, 02:39 PM
this is why I always ask for plastic, not paper, and definitely always remember to double bag it.

PastorMikH
12-12-2006, 02:48 PM
Good luck Sedated.


There are at least two bits of advice have come up so far that I agree with.

First off, don't rush into marriage - unless the two of you were already discussing it prior to the news. I know several people who barely knew each other, got married due to pregnancy, and it worked out great for them. However, a child is better off with a mom and dad at separate addresses than he/she is living with parents that hate each other but stay together out of obligation to the child - and I know families like that as well. If in doubt, or you are being presured about it, seek some quality pre-marital counseling.

Also, unless you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are the only guy that could be the dad and you were using protection, get the Paternity test.

If you need someone to talk with, feel free to PM me.

el borracho
12-12-2006, 02:56 PM
Won't help your current situation but in the future when a condom breaks go get the "day after" pill and make sure (in a gentle and loving way, of course) that your gal pal takes it.

Hoover
12-12-2006, 03:09 PM
I need some additional info before I can give you advise.

1. Is she hot?
2. Is her family rich?

sedated
12-12-2006, 03:16 PM
I need some additional info before I can give you advise.

1. Is she hot?
2. Is her family rich?

1. was
2. f*ck no

Redrum_69
12-12-2006, 03:22 PM
1. was
2. f*ck no



Well there you go..

Redrum_69
12-12-2006, 03:24 PM
At least you have the next 40 years to remember your mistake.

single life? HA gone

hobbies? HA HAHHA not now

life? LOLOLOLOL gone

money....ROFLMAO

time? ROFOLFORLFOL

S E X .... LORLFORLFOOMAOMRALLORLF

oh it gets better too...just wait until the second, third and fourth child comes along


How old are you again?

el borracho
12-12-2006, 04:45 PM
At least you have the next 40 years to remember your mistake.

single life? HA gone

hobbies? HA HAHHA not now

life? LOLOLOLOL gone

money....ROFLMAO

time? ROFOLFORLFOL

S E X .... LORLFORLFOOMAOMRALLORLF

oh it gets better too...just wait until the second, third and fourth child comes along


How old are you again?
Heh. You're mean, Rob.

Douche Baggins
12-12-2006, 04:46 PM
She's not hot anymore? WTF happened?

Baby Lee
12-12-2006, 04:48 PM
She's not hot anymore? WTF happened?
Man-goo done blowed up her bellah.

Douche Baggins
12-12-2006, 04:49 PM
Man-goo done blowed up her bellah.

I guess, but I've always thought you could kind of see the residual hotness through a pregnancy.

'Hamas' Jenkins
12-12-2006, 04:51 PM
1. DNA Test

2. Pull out next time.

3. Don't have sex with conservatives.

stevieray
12-12-2006, 04:52 PM
At least you have the next 40 years to remember your mistake.

single life? HA gone

hobbies? HA HAHHA not now

life? LOLOLOLOL gone

money....ROFLMAO

time? ROFOLFORLFOL

S E X .... LORLFORLFOOMAOMRALLORLF

oh it gets better too...just wait until the second, third and fourth child comes along


How old are you again?


man, I really feel for you guys.

QuikSsurfer
12-12-2006, 04:53 PM
shit man.. sorry to hear that.
time to learn about the birds and the bees
click "watch movie"
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=85361

ferrarispider95
12-12-2006, 04:58 PM
MOVE. QUICKLY!!!!

Leave in the darkness of night and only bring what you can carry.

She give up looking for you after a year of so.

Baby Lee
12-12-2006, 04:58 PM
3. Don't have sex with conservatives.
Missed where he said she alone was the one who was against abortion.
Missed where pro-choice meant, "I must naturally choose abortion for myself."

But go ahead and make your assumptions.

SLAG
12-12-2006, 05:01 PM
at least you know your not the only one who has fugged up :redface:

it can work out good if you make it work

CoMoChief
12-12-2006, 05:02 PM
Shop Vac + Coat Hanger = Problem fixed!!!

Baby Lee
12-12-2006, 05:02 PM
at least you know your not the only one who has fugged up :redface:

it can work out good if you make it work
well. ;)

JonesCrusher
12-12-2006, 05:07 PM
time to learn about the birds and the bees
click "watch movie"
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=85361

That was great.ROFL

Donger
12-12-2006, 05:07 PM
I guess, but I've always thought you could kind of see the residual hotness through a pregnancy.

Depends on the woman. Some handle pregnancy better than others.

'Hamas' Jenkins
12-12-2006, 06:12 PM
Missed where he said she alone was the one who was against abortion.
Missed where pro-choice meant, "I must naturally choose abortion for myself."

But go ahead and make your assumptions.

Wow did you miss the point of that one.

It was a satire across both political bows...that liberals willingly have abortions like they are drive thru and that conservatives are all about family values...hence moving all the way across the country to start a family w/ someone you don't know at all.

Coach
12-12-2006, 06:13 PM
Sucks to hear that, but at least you're doing what most guys would be chickenshit of doing.

bogie
12-12-2006, 06:27 PM
Sucks to hear that, but at least you're doing what most guys would be chickenshit of doing.

Posting on a football BB?

Iowanian
12-12-2006, 06:43 PM
Be a man.

Be a father.

Over look the hardship and enjoy it.

SLAG
12-12-2006, 06:46 PM
Be a man.

Be a father.

Over look the hardship and enjoy it.

Thats some great advice

seriously dude.. you know me sedated... sounds like your doing the right thing... its a very confusing time.. but when you make it through its worth it...

its overwhelming... i mean it was DAMN overwhelming when i was 17 and i first found out she was with child... the second time around it was just like here we go again...i do believe though that no matter how old you are or what stage in life you are in NO ONE is ever READY for a child... EVER.

Iowanian
12-12-2006, 06:57 PM
Don't listen to all the immature dumbasses screaming for the quicksurfer fix.....

I know you'll have stress, lack of sleep, confusion and questions.....I know you'll have long nights, bad days and moments of sheer terror when you don't know what to do.

I also know, that coming home from a long day like I did today, and upon hearing the door close, having that toddler run into the room screaming "DADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" makes it all better.

Don't see this as a burden. Its an adventure.

I go to work to pay the bills...but my Job for the rest of my life is to be a father. The fringe benefits are unmatchable.

Hopefully, you and the mother can work well together and make it work also.

good luck.

Look up "mylicon".....it will soon be your best friend.

Skip Towne
12-12-2006, 07:00 PM
Thats some great advice

seriously dude.. you know me sedated... sounds like your doing the right thing... its a very confusing time.. but when you make it through its worth it...

its overwhelming... i mean it was DAMN overwhelming when i was 17 and i first found out she was with child... the second time around it was just like here we go again...i do believe though that no matter how old you are or what stage in life you are in NO ONE is ever READY for a child... EVER.
Sounds like you need to find out what's causing that.

ENDelt260
12-12-2006, 07:04 PM
WARNING: Foul language

heh... and subject matter
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1t2mMMp7bjU"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1t2mMMp7bjU" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

dtebbe
12-12-2006, 07:10 PM
Don't listen to all the immature dumbasses screaming for the quicksurfer fix.....

I know you'll have stress, lack of sleep, confusion and questions.....I know you'll have long nights, bad days and moments of sheer terror when you don't know what to do.

I also know, that coming home from a long day like I did today, and upon hearing the door close, having that toddler run into the room screaming "DADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" makes it all better.

Don't see this as a burden. Its an adventure.

I go to work to pay the bills...but my Job for the rest of my life is to be a father. The fringe benefits are unmatchable.

Hopefully, you and the mother can work well together and make it work also.

good luck.

Look up "mylicon".....it will soon be your best friend.

I agree with everything above. The only thing I would add is to make sure you have all the sex you can now. Because after the baby.....

(insert lonely desert wind-blowing sounds here)

DT

Coach
12-12-2006, 07:33 PM
Posting on a football BB?

Heh, no.

Iowanian pretty much summed it up.

Sack up and be a man.

Be a father.

luv
12-13-2006, 01:40 AM
can't be done until baby is born.

but it will be done.

you will never see so many emotions at a single moment as when you say the words "paternity test" to a pregnant woman
Is she moving in before or after the test is done?If she moves in and it's not his, I'd say she owes him a shitload of money for supporting her for however long she lived there.

Lono
12-13-2006, 07:50 AM
She's not hot anymore? WTF happened?

He sobered up and turned the light on?

StcChief
12-13-2006, 07:57 AM
You want the paternity test....If she is honest and sure it's yours then she should NOT have a problem with it.

Baby Lee
12-13-2006, 08:23 AM
Wow did you miss the point of that one.

It was a satire across both political bows...that liberals willingly have abortions like they are drive thru and that conservatives are all about family values...hence moving all the way across the country to start a family w/ someone you don't know at all.
If you were being tongue in cheek, I apologize.
You gotta admit though, people round here don't read a 'Hamas' Jenkins masterpiece expecting good natured ribbing when it comes to politics.

Pennywise
12-13-2006, 08:26 AM
You people suggesting a quick fix should have to attend a Pro Life rally.


http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1701165

chagrin
12-13-2006, 08:27 AM
Heh, so it worked on someone finally, eh?

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m88/wrathchild_03/Sedatedstrueessence1.jpg

chagrin
12-13-2006, 08:28 AM
Well good luck dude

Baby Lee
12-13-2006, 08:30 AM
I also know, that coming home from a long day like I did today, and upon hearing the door close, having that toddler run into the room screaming "DADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" makes it all better.
May be an odd place to relate this, but it looks as good as any other.
Saw the most achingly cute thing last night. Went to pick up some delish White Castles. There was a young mom with her little girl, a young couple, and me, waiting for our food.
First off the little girl was just chatty with everyone. She took her receipt up to the girl of the young couple, pointed at it, and said "I'm getting cheesebuggahs!!"
The mom got her order and stared to leave. The little girl dwadled a little and the door shut to the outside before she got through. All the sudden she was all "where's mommy?" and her face scrunched up and the waterworks were imminent. Then mom came back to the door and her face just LIT UP!!
Anyways, everyone is oohing and aahing, "how cute." So as she's leaving with her mom, the couple, me, the worker's behind the counter are all waiving 'bye, bye' to her, and she's walking out the door, facing back at us and waving, when she walks smack into the door jamb.

ROFL ROFL.

The Rick
12-13-2006, 08:32 AM
Look up "mylicon".....it will soon be your best friend.
Words more true than this hath never been spoken. Mylicon is like an underground drug shared by the secret society of parents worldwide.

chagrin
12-13-2006, 08:33 AM
May be an odd place to relate this, but it looks as good as any other.
Saw the most achingly cute thing last night. Went to pick up some delish White Castles. There was a young mom with her little girl, a young couple, and me, waiting for our food.
First off the little girl was just chatty with everyone. She took her receipt up to the girl of the young couple, pointed at it, and said "I'm getting cheesebuggahs!!"
The mom got her order and stared to leave. The little girl dwadled a little and the door shut to the outside before she got through. All the sudden she was all "where's mommy?" and her face scrunched up and the waterworks were imminent. Then mom came back to the door and her face just LIT UP!!
Anyways, everyone is oohing and aahing, "how cute." So as she's leaving with her mom, the couple, me, the worker's behind the counter are all waiving 'bye, bye' to her, and she's walking out the door, facing back at us and waving, when she walks smack into the door jamb.

ROFL ROFL.

that's pretty funny

Gonzo
12-13-2006, 08:34 AM
I also know, that coming home from a long day like I did today, and upon hearing the door close, having that toddler run into the room screaming "DADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" makes it all better.



That's usually the same thing Redrum's mom says whenever I come over to her house.

Bowser
12-13-2006, 08:35 AM
Well, it's the f*ckin' you get for the f*ckin' you got.

I can say that only because the exact same thing happened to me about 11 years ago. Exact same.

It's stressful to think about right now, but after the initial (first year) shock is over, it will be the best thing to ever happen to you.

One thing, do you know her family all that well right now?

sedated
12-13-2006, 09:35 AM
One thing, do you know her family all that well right now?

no, had to fly to her city and tell her dad and brother over breakfast.

got so nervous, went to the bathroom and threw up french toast.

Bowser
12-13-2006, 09:46 AM
no, had to fly to her city and tell her dad and brother over breakfast.

got so nervous, went to the bathroom and threw up french toast.

Christ, this is painful! First time I met my father-in-law was to tell him I knocked his daughter up! He took like a ten minute restroom break!

Let's see if you can nail the trifecta - how long have you dated this girl?

Redrum_69
12-13-2006, 09:49 AM
no, had to fly to her city and tell her dad and brother over breakfast.

got so nervous, went to the bathroom and threw up french toast.


Are you having sympathy pains or maybe you are pregnant too

Saulbadguy
12-13-2006, 09:57 AM
A healthy baby can bring upwards to $50,000 on the black market.

Jilly
12-13-2006, 10:03 AM
Did you know her at all before this happened? Because it seems so weird that all of sudden she picks up and moves to where you are to live with you.

BIG_DADDY
12-13-2006, 10:03 AM
A healthy baby can bring upwards to $50,000 on the black market.
LMAO That's funny.

StcChief
12-13-2006, 10:07 AM
Christ, this is painful! First time I met my father-in-law was to tell him I knocked his daughter up! He took like a ten minute restroom break!

Let's see if you can nail the trifecta - how long have you dated this girl?

He was likely refraining himself from getting a gun.

or pulling a Homer/Bart strangulation on you.

This is not starting out good, but he likely realizes it takes TWO to Tango.

sedated
12-13-2006, 11:04 AM
A healthy baby can bring upwards to $50,000 on the black market.

a whole baby, or sold in parts?

Demonpenz
12-13-2006, 11:07 AM
I only had a condom break once, I learned then not to jack off so hard.

Redrum_69
12-13-2006, 11:13 AM
Girl drops out of school and moves across country to live with boy and raise child.



High School? College? Real Estate school? Beautician School? School of the Deaf and Blind?

sedated
12-13-2006, 11:32 AM
High School? College? Real Estate school? Beautician School? School of the Deaf and Blind?

here she would be in middle school, but there it's referred to as "junior high", which makes it sound a whole lot more legal

Redrum_69
12-13-2006, 11:34 AM
How old are you?

This is sounding more like "keeping my ass out of jail by marrying her" excuse

patteeu
12-13-2006, 11:41 AM
Have the two of you thought about giving up the kid for adoption?

Redrum_69
12-13-2006, 11:42 AM
here she would be in middle school, but there it's referred to as "junior high", which makes it sound a whole lot more legal


lol junior high?? like 7th and 8th grade??

holy shit....um youre over 18 right?

can we say jail time?

Switch religions and move to Utah....

Over-Head
12-13-2006, 11:44 AM
I only had a condom break once, I learned then not to jack off so hard.ROFL

'Hamas' Jenkins
12-13-2006, 11:45 AM
If you were being tongue in cheek, I apologize.
You gotta admit though, people round here don't read a 'Hamas' Jenkins masterpiece expecting good natured ribbing when it comes to politics.

Why can't I diversify my portfolio :shrug:

Baby Lee
12-13-2006, 12:31 PM
Why can't I diversify my portfolio :shrug:
You certainly can. But smilies might ease the transition for the wary. :deevee: ROFL :evil: :# :rolleyes:

BIG_DADDY
12-13-2006, 12:34 PM
So are you guys getting married or not? For your sake I hope she's hot.

Hoover
12-13-2006, 01:00 PM
True Story

When I was 14 my dad sat we down and said "Lil Hoover, your mother wants me to tell you about the birds and the bees but I just want to tell you one thing little buddy, don't ever **** a girl you don't want to marry."

Its good advise, while it seems as if I've found plent of chicks I would marry, I had high standards.

sedated
12-13-2006, 01:37 PM
Are you having sympathy pains or maybe you are pregnant too

figured better to have an empty stomach when her dad asks "face or gut?"

joesomebody
12-13-2006, 01:41 PM
Good luck man. Similar thing happened to me a week before I moved back to the states from Japan...

I started to go to church a lot and it turned out she wasn't really pregnant just extremely late.

Regardless of what happens, just try to be the best dad that you can.

DeezNutz
12-13-2006, 02:10 PM
here she would be in middle school, but there it's referred to as "junior high", which makes it sound a whole lot more legal

Ok, I'm biting. If this were true, this would have to be the all-time most sensational thread on the Planet. Please tell me you jest...

Regardless, good luck. Be a man, face the music, and follow through. But it sounds like you're doing all of these things.

Stewie
12-13-2006, 02:43 PM
here she would be in middle school, but there it's referred to as "junior high", which makes it sound a whole lot more legal

Chain yanker

Inspector
12-13-2006, 02:55 PM
Someday you'll get grankids out of the deal.

They will be the reward for not killing your kids.

Douche Baggins
12-13-2006, 03:51 PM
no, had to fly to her city and tell her dad and brother over breakfast.

got so nervous, went to the bathroom and threw up french toast.

OMG...

elvomito
12-15-2006, 09:28 PM
this tool seems perfect for sedated and anyone else with confrontation anxiety:
http://www.dabreakupsong.com/

Over-Head
12-15-2006, 09:32 PM
True Story

When I was 14 my dad sat we down and said "Lil Hoover, your mother wants me to tell you about the birds and the bees but I just want to tell you one thing little buddy, don't ever **** a girl you don't want to marry."

Its good advise, while it seems as if I've found plent of chicks I would marry, I had high standards.

Hummm baby's due next month, hope I can remember this 14 years from now if it';s a boy.
Thank your dad for me :thumb:

RJ
12-15-2006, 10:38 PM
Experienced the broken condom once. Nothing came of it......no pun intended. But it was a sick feeling at that moment of discovery. A lonely, purposeless plastic ring. Looked like a section of the old six-pack holders. Just hanging there, doing nothing except maybe mocking me for my stupidity in relying on a piece of plastic to prevent pregnacy from occuring from sex with a girl who was too religious for the pill but not too religious to take me home after meeting me in a bar one night. We both had loose morals but I at least had a rubber, defective though it was.

As to the practical matters at hand, none of what you're thinking now will much matter after you get the first glimpse of your child. When that face is put in the place of all the blanks you need filled in everything will change. The woe is me will be replaced with how can I make this work. They won't issue a users manual with the kid but you'll figure it out as you go along.

You and the mom might be a different matter. You've not mentioned any feelings for her and that might be because you don't know her that well. Hopefully it will turn out that you like each other. Best of luck to both of you and most of all to the kid. Just take care of the kid and the rest will take care of itself.

Al Bundy
12-16-2006, 07:16 AM
Your life is over.. she has you by the balls now.

Cntrygal
12-16-2006, 05:08 PM
"Middle School"??? Isn't that grades 7 & 8??????

VonneMarie
12-16-2006, 05:18 PM
I need some additional info before I can give you advise.

1. Is she hot?
2. Is her family rich?
LMAO

Good luck, Sedated.

sedated
12-17-2006, 05:50 PM
Your life is over.. she has you by the balls now.

just for 18 years