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View Full Version : Clark Hunt's first day as owner


LanceHunter
12-29-2006, 09:05 PM
" Good morning Carl , as you remember , dad had me negotiate your contract back in 2004 , and since dad passed on, you realise that things won't be the same, that it's time for some interior decorating, a few changes?"

"Sure, things will be a little different with his being gone,I don't think there will be any substantial change," said Carl, who has run the Chiefs since 1989.
"Lamar had very intelligently prepared for this Clark, your very bright, very talented. Everything is in place for the transfer. I think the transition will be smooth."
"Yes Carl, smooth for me , but not for you I'm afraid, I'm starting my own 5 year plan, here's your lump of coal Carl, Len, will you show Carl out, and make sure he doesn't take any of the silver ware on his way, oh and Len, ask Herm to come in , he's proably in the bathroom practicing his camera poses."
" Good morning Herm, please have a seat, and you can quit looking around, there's no media in here."
"You just missed Carl , I was just thanking him for getting the most overrated and least gameday prepared preacher,I mean coach, in the NFL. And how you've managed to coach this team into leaving dozens of points on the field due to the teams inability to succeed in the red zone Herm and your ongoing failure to understand how to manage the time clock in the NFL. Your really amazing to watch. You knowthat little old guy standing next to you is supposed to help you count down the seconds. The problem Herm is that you don't know how to anticipate, prepare, execute,control, or correct. The result of which is a team that cannot succeed under pressure at crunch time."
" Herm in the SD game, it was 4th and 1, why didn't you give the ball to LJ?"
" I STILL don't not know the abilities of my players."
" Thats what you were supposed to learn in preseason Herm."
" I can't win without my starting QB."
" That was last years excuse Herm, remember? you killed both Jet QB's last year by the 3rd or 4th game of the season, and this year , you almost killed off our Pro Bowler before the end of game one."
" Uhh.... well the team had alot of points under Dick but no playoffs."
" Herm you say you want to control the clock, but the only way you control it is for the other team, and then when we have no time left you all of a sudden can score. Now I understand why the Jets shoved you out the door. Look how much better the Jets are doing this year without you. Herm, you've taken a very good offense and in less than one year destroyed it. Way to go Herm. Here's your lump of coal , your fired. Len , please show Herm the way out, and ask the secretary to get Charlie Weis over at Notre Dame on the phone, I have a job opening he might be intrested in."
" You know Clark, without your glasses you look a little like Superman."
" Thanks Len, and I'd like for you to stick around as an advisor, something dad would have liked, it's time to have some interior decorating done around here."

Wasn't that a wonderful first day ?

Reerun_KC
12-29-2006, 10:04 PM
Outstanding! Much Rep for this one!

milkman
12-29-2006, 10:07 PM
Outstanding! Much Rep for this one!

Really.

I thought it was a pretty pathetic effort.

Rain Man
12-29-2006, 11:27 PM
I was hoping for a car chase scene.

Guru
12-29-2006, 11:28 PM
I was hoping for a car chase scene.
Nah, Clark is no Jack Bauer. I don't think he drives a Toyota either.

Rain Man
12-29-2006, 11:31 PM
Nah, Clark is no Jack Bauer. I don't think he drives a Toyota either.

Maybe a scene of them dancing, like Travolta and Uma in Pulp Fiction? That'd be kind of cool.

Rain Man
12-29-2006, 11:33 PM
Oh! Or how about something like this:

Carl: Hi, Clark. Did you want to see me?

Clark: Yeah, Carl. Um, hey. Would you mind standing on that plastic tarp? The carpet is new.

Guru
12-29-2006, 11:54 PM
Oh! Or how about something like this:

Carl: Hi, Clark. Did you want to see me?

Clark: Yeah, Carl. Um, hey. Would you mind standing on that plastic tarp? The carpet is new.

I like that one.

LanceHunter
12-29-2006, 11:56 PM
Oh! Or how about something like this:

Carl: Hi, Clark. Did you want to see me?

Clark: Yeah, Carl. Um, hey. Would you mind standing on that plastic tarp? The carpet is new.

Yeah that would be good. Maybe Clark should have had Carl drop Solari off at KU on his way to Oakland hehe .

T-post Tom
12-30-2006, 12:27 AM
Very funny. I laughed but then felt like crying because I know that it will never happen.

wazu
12-30-2006, 03:10 AM
Very funny. I laughed but then felt like crying because I know that it will never happen.

Yeah, not so much funny "ha-ha", as it was funny "OH DEAR GOD WHY WAS I BORN A CHIEFS FAN?!"

I did love the "I STILL don't not know the abilities of my players" jab. Herm is so unbelievably embarrassing to have as our coach. This whole organization disgusts me on every level. Clark Hunt is the first glimmer of hope we've seen in years. Let's hope he has some balls.

boogblaster
12-30-2006, 06:59 AM
Business as usual..stay under the cap..get a little more for tickets..think that parking should go up a little too..

MahiMike
12-30-2006, 07:18 AM
I love this guy <sobbing>

LanceHunter
12-30-2006, 07:33 AM
Hehe, well here are a few thoughts from jetnation.com regarding our plight with Sperm Edwards as HC lol .
I love watching the Chiefs.

Herm just looks so confused. It's nice having that be funny instead of infuriating.
I think it'll be a few years until they fire him. They expect that O to fall apart soon enough anyway. He also has a fresh set of coordinators to throw under the bus.
A lot of Chiefs fans think the talent on offense needs to be upgraded, not realizing that when your buffoon of a HC runs the ball on 1st down about 90% of the time he is not very interested in scoring a lot of points. Just wants to keep the score as low as possible and hope that the defense gets 4 turnovers a game.
Herm's act has already grown old in KC.
Man oh Man, I dunno how many of you get a chance to listen to 810 Sports Talk radio here in KC but they have been playing excerpts of LJ’s locker room interview right after the game. He aint a happy camper. It is painfully and blatantly obvious that he is severely criticizing all aspects of the coaching. Now mind you he never comes out and attacks Herm specifically but he’s ranting and raving about how things have to change and that ”this s**t is not working and anybody that think this s**t is working that they are plain a** wrong”. And that he’s sick and tired of hearing the “we’ll get em next week speech”.




__________________

CupidStunt
12-30-2006, 07:46 AM
At least you tried.

Reerun_KC
12-30-2006, 08:51 AM
Here is another golden nugget

Even funnier is KC has the same personnel they had last year, in which they had NO PROBLEM airing it out, in fact they were one of the elite teams at doing it. Nah Herm, we get exactly what you're saying. You're saying that you have to play to your beliefs, and your particular belief is that you don't worry about what the other team's strength is, you just keep doing what you want to do. With that attitude why even bother watching game film? Does he even watch game film? Has he ever figured out how to turn the projector on? Maybe Dick Curl can help him with that.

http://www.jetnation.com/forums/showthread.php?t=28320&page=2

CupidStunt
12-30-2006, 09:58 AM
Same personnel?

Don't even need to read further than that. Idiots.

Wile_E_Coyote
12-30-2006, 10:29 AM
hahahahaha

John_Locke
12-30-2006, 10:38 AM
brilliant


love the part about herm posing for the cameras

Reerun_KC
12-30-2006, 10:38 AM
Same personnel?

Don't even need to read further than that. Idiots.

True, but at least they have hope and the coaching ability to become a winner....

We are settling for a coach that career best is 10-6 in one season. But hey they did go to the playoffs and put on a great Martyball display for their fans...

Wile_E_Coyote
12-30-2006, 10:45 AM
Jets 41 Colts 0
http://www.nfl.com/gamecenter/recap/NFL_20030104_IND@NYJ

SNR
12-30-2006, 12:20 PM
I would only pay to see this if Patrick Stewart were cast as Clark.

Reerun_KC
12-30-2006, 01:21 PM
Jets 41 Colts 0
http://www.nfl.com/gamecenter/recap/NFL_20030104_IND@NYJ

One Game? One Game over the course of a coaching career...

So typical.

What about consistency, AFC championships or superbowls?

Seriously though, to keep coming back with the Colts game really is pretty lame.