LanceHunter
12-29-2006, 08:05 PM
" Good morning Carl , as you remember , dad had me negotiate your contract back in 2004 , and since dad passed on, you realise that things won't be the same, that it's time for some interior decorating, a few changes?"
"Sure, things will be a little different with his being gone,I don't think there will be any substantial change," said Carl, who has run the Chiefs since 1989.
"Lamar had very intelligently prepared for this Clark, your very bright, very talented. Everything is in place for the transfer. I think the transition will be smooth."
"Yes Carl, smooth for me , but not for you I'm afraid, I'm starting my own 5 year plan, here's your lump of coal Carl, Len, will you show Carl out, and make sure he doesn't take any of the silver ware on his way, oh and Len, ask Herm to come in , he's proably in the bathroom practicing his camera poses."
" Good morning Herm, please have a seat, and you can quit looking around, there's no media in here."
"You just missed Carl , I was just thanking him for getting the most overrated and least gameday prepared preacher,I mean coach, in the NFL. And how you've managed to coach this team into leaving dozens of points on the field due to the teams inability to succeed in the red zone Herm and your ongoing failure to understand how to manage the time clock in the NFL. Your really amazing to watch. You knowthat little old guy standing next to you is supposed to help you count down the seconds. The problem Herm is that you don't know how to anticipate, prepare, execute,control, or correct. The result of which is a team that cannot succeed under pressure at crunch time."
" Herm in the SD game, it was 4th and 1, why didn't you give the ball to LJ?"
" I STILL don't not know the abilities of my players."
" Thats what you were supposed to learn in preseason Herm."
" I can't win without my starting QB."
" That was last years excuse Herm, remember? you killed both Jet QB's last year by the 3rd or 4th game of the season, and this year , you almost killed off our Pro Bowler before the end of game one."
" Uhh.... well the team had alot of points under Dick but no playoffs."
" Herm you say you want to control the clock, but the only way you control it is for the other team, and then when we have no time left you all of a sudden can score. Now I understand why the Jets shoved you out the door. Look how much better the Jets are doing this year without you. Herm, you've taken a very good offense and in less than one year destroyed it. Way to go Herm. Here's your lump of coal , your fired. Len , please show Herm the way out, and ask the secretary to get Charlie Weis over at Notre Dame on the phone, I have a job opening he might be intrested in."
" You know Clark, without your glasses you look a little like Superman."
" Thanks Len, and I'd like for you to stick around as an advisor, something dad would have liked, it's time to have some interior decorating done around here."
Wasn't that a wonderful first day ?
"Sure, things will be a little different with his being gone,I don't think there will be any substantial change," said Carl, who has run the Chiefs since 1989.
"Lamar had very intelligently prepared for this Clark, your very bright, very talented. Everything is in place for the transfer. I think the transition will be smooth."
"Yes Carl, smooth for me , but not for you I'm afraid, I'm starting my own 5 year plan, here's your lump of coal Carl, Len, will you show Carl out, and make sure he doesn't take any of the silver ware on his way, oh and Len, ask Herm to come in , he's proably in the bathroom practicing his camera poses."
" Good morning Herm, please have a seat, and you can quit looking around, there's no media in here."
"You just missed Carl , I was just thanking him for getting the most overrated and least gameday prepared preacher,I mean coach, in the NFL. And how you've managed to coach this team into leaving dozens of points on the field due to the teams inability to succeed in the red zone Herm and your ongoing failure to understand how to manage the time clock in the NFL. Your really amazing to watch. You knowthat little old guy standing next to you is supposed to help you count down the seconds. The problem Herm is that you don't know how to anticipate, prepare, execute,control, or correct. The result of which is a team that cannot succeed under pressure at crunch time."
" Herm in the SD game, it was 4th and 1, why didn't you give the ball to LJ?"
" I STILL don't not know the abilities of my players."
" Thats what you were supposed to learn in preseason Herm."
" I can't win without my starting QB."
" That was last years excuse Herm, remember? you killed both Jet QB's last year by the 3rd or 4th game of the season, and this year , you almost killed off our Pro Bowler before the end of game one."
" Uhh.... well the team had alot of points under Dick but no playoffs."
" Herm you say you want to control the clock, but the only way you control it is for the other team, and then when we have no time left you all of a sudden can score. Now I understand why the Jets shoved you out the door. Look how much better the Jets are doing this year without you. Herm, you've taken a very good offense and in less than one year destroyed it. Way to go Herm. Here's your lump of coal , your fired. Len , please show Herm the way out, and ask the secretary to get Charlie Weis over at Notre Dame on the phone, I have a job opening he might be intrested in."
" You know Clark, without your glasses you look a little like Superman."
" Thanks Len, and I'd like for you to stick around as an advisor, something dad would have liked, it's time to have some interior decorating done around here."
Wasn't that a wonderful first day ?