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CosmicPal
01-09-2007, 11:42 AM
Here’s your opportunity to be the columnist you’ve always wanted to be. This is an actual letter taken from the Ask Amy column. What would you tell Pregnant and Scared?


Dear ChiefsPlanet: I am a happily married 27-year-old woman about to have my first baby, and I am terrified because it isn’t my husband’s baby.
Last Spring, another woman and I took a trip to the Bahamas. At the hotel, I had a massage and was seduced by the masseur. I tried to resist, but I guess I got carried away. I sort of cooperated once things got started.
After some premarital tests, my doctor recently told me that the baby’s blood type is different from both my husband’s and mine, which means the baby is not his. When the baby is born, it will be very obvious: My husband and I are white, and the masseur is black.
I can’t tell my husband; I think that he would leave me. Please advise me.
- Pregnant and Scared.

Count Alex's Losses
01-09-2007, 11:44 AM
Put out some antifreeze.

bkkcoh
01-09-2007, 11:44 AM
I see a separate forum for this type of stuff....

:banghead:

Fish
01-09-2007, 11:45 AM
Put a bullet in your brainpan cheating bitch.....

StcChief
01-09-2007, 11:47 AM
You get the dumb bitch award.

HonestChieffan
01-09-2007, 11:48 AM
Dear Pregnant and Scared,

Its ok. Keep the baby in a dark room and out of the sun. That way the hubby wont notice. He clearly isnt to awful sharp or he would have never married you.

When will you be needing a massage again anyway?

Signed,

Hootie

Hydrae
01-09-2007, 11:49 AM
If you don't tell him, he will probably leave anyway. Directly from the delivery room at that.

You have to tell him what happened and pray that his love and your relationship are strong enough to handle it. If not, well maybe the masseur is still available to help you raise your bastard-to-be.

Fairplay
01-09-2007, 11:50 AM
Garbage can.

Phobia
01-09-2007, 11:51 AM
Dear Pregnant and Retarded,

http://www.clorox.com/images/sol_prod_outdoor_bleach_main.gif

Brock
01-09-2007, 11:51 AM
Where's that "owned" pic?

HonestChieffan
01-09-2007, 11:52 AM
Dear Stupid Tramp/Mom to be,

Cover the baby in glue, put purple fur on him and tell the hubby it was Barney.

Have a nice life.

CosmicPal
01-09-2007, 11:53 AM
If you don't tell him, he will probably leave anyway. Directly from the delivery room at that.


Can you imagine the look on his face when the baby arrives? Good lord, if my fiance' delivered a "brown" baby I'd turn to her and say, "Good luck raising that one by yourself, bitch."

boogblaster
01-09-2007, 11:53 AM
Will it look like a black Huard..Hootie and GoChiefs will adopt it....

HonestChieffan
01-09-2007, 11:54 AM
They dont come out brown, they turn after a few days. I saw that on the internet someplace.

Iowanian
01-09-2007, 11:55 AM
dear smoke jumper in Sacramento,

Instead of being loyal faithful wife, and in leu of using a condom to protect your whoredom you're about to be in trouble. Not only will he be irate when the kid comes out looking like Bill Cosby instead of Bill Gates, he's going to be Furious to find out that instead of that stupid Vacation Teeshirt, the spot on his clam hammer is Herpes.

You made the poo sandwich, its unfortunate that he has to eat it. Congratulations on bringing a child into the world who will not have a father, or financial support. Enjoy your 2nd job at Burger King.

Sincerely,

luv
01-09-2007, 11:59 AM
Cheaters never prosper. I'd say you have a better chance at keeping your hubby if you at least try to be honest with him. Otherwise, you're not only a cheating bitch, you're a lying, cheating bitch.

HonestChieffan
01-09-2007, 12:01 PM
Man you guys are heartless.

crazycoffey
01-09-2007, 12:02 PM
Put out some antifreeze.

No, drink it yourself cheating tramp

kepp
01-09-2007, 12:05 PM
"Are all your kids the same color?"

Fish
01-09-2007, 12:06 PM
Man you guys are heartless.

Almost as heartless as cheating on your husband, never telling him about it, deceiving him into supporting you throughout the birth of someone else's child, and telling the world about it before you tell him....

StcChief
01-09-2007, 12:07 PM
"Are all your kids the same color?"EARL ROFL

HonestChieffan
01-09-2007, 12:07 PM
Like husbands never cheat...

Republicans, yall must be republicans.

Iowanian
01-09-2007, 12:07 PM
maybe he won't notice

http://img20.exs.cx/img20/4568/owned-wtf.jpg

luv
01-09-2007, 12:08 PM
Almost as heartless as cheating on your husband, never telling him about it, deceiving him into supporting you throughout the birth of someone else's child, and telling the world about it before you tell him....
That pretty much sums it up.

There's no point in trying to make yourself look innocent by saying you tried to resist at first. Obviously, you didn't try hard enough.

Baby Lee
01-09-2007, 12:09 PM
"Are all your kids the same color?"

When did you start listening to Rap?

I ain't cheatin' on you!!!

Phobia
01-09-2007, 12:10 PM
Like husbands never cheat...

Republicans, yall must be republicans.

I've never cheated on my wife nor my ex-wife.

JBucc
01-09-2007, 12:11 PM
http://www.thesage.com/images/rcp/stick1.jpg
:shrug:

el borracho
01-09-2007, 12:12 PM
Well, I don't have any advice that works for whores. What was the response in the column?

Fairplay
01-09-2007, 12:14 PM
maybe he won't notice

http://img20.exs.cx/img20/4568/owned-wtf.jpg



The guys says "It must have been that day i was out in the sun."

luv
01-09-2007, 12:17 PM
http://www.thesage.com/images/rcp/stick1.jpg
:shrug:
OMG. :Lin:

DMAC
01-09-2007, 12:20 PM
The thing you don't realize lady, is that your husband will probably be happy because now he has an "out".


You will see confusion turn to giddy happiness when that little chocolate milk baby pops out.

CosmicPal
01-09-2007, 12:20 PM
What was the response in the column?

Here's the actual response from Amy.

Dear Scared: I appreciate the fact that you are assuming responsibility for participating in this sexual encounter, which from the way you describe it sounds less like seduction and more like coercion to me.

In addition to other very tough decisions that you need to make fairly quickly, you also should be immediately tested for STDs.

You have to tell your husband about this. You simply have no choice. However, it would be helpful for you to rehearse this conversation with a trusted friend or professional counselor. You and your husband should discuss this in a neutral environment. Planned Parenthood offers pregnancy and adoption counseling.

Counselors working for this ageny have seen it all, and you will not be judged.

Phobia
01-09-2007, 12:21 PM
The only answer to this that will preserve her marriage will include honesty and adoption.

I don't think there are any dudes who could raise some other guy's kid knowing it was the product of infidelity. It's just not fair to the kid. If the lady has any expectation of staying with her husband she needs to 1:
Tell him immediately.
2: Discuss her desire to make it work and put the child up for adoption.

kepp
01-09-2007, 12:23 PM
When did you start listening to Rap?

I ain't cheatin' on you!!!
ROFL That was a classic scene

luv
01-09-2007, 12:23 PM
Here's the actual response from Amy.

Dear Scared: I appreciate the fact that you are assuming responsibility for participating in this sexual encounter, which from the way you describe it sounds less like seduction and more like coercion to me.

In addition to other very tough decisions that you need to make fairly quickly, you also should be immediately tested for STDs.

You have to tell your husband about this. You simply have no choice. However, it would be helpful for you to rehearse this conversation with a trusted friend or professional counselor. You and your husband should discuss this in a neutral environment. Planned Parenthood offers pregnancy and adoption counseling.

Counselors working for this ageny have seen it all, and you will not be judged.
So she didn't need to tell her husband about the affair if she wasn't pregnant with the other dude's baby? Seduction or coercion, consenting is still consenting. This woman gives people advice?

CosmicPal
01-09-2007, 12:23 PM
The only answer to this that will preserve her marriage will include honesty and adoption.

I don't think there are any dudes who could raise some other guy's kid knowing it was the product of infidelity. It's just not fair to the kid. If the lady has any expectation of staying with her husband she needs to 1:
Tell him immediately.
2: Discuss her desire to make it work and put the child up for adoption.

Actually, I disagree.

Keep the child, and if the husband wants to leave- he has every right to leave. She can find someone else to be the father to her illegitimate child, and a husband to her.

But, the child should not be "given away" because some dumb bitch made a dumb mistake.

Wile_E_Coyote
01-09-2007, 12:28 PM
Make plans now to move far far away

Phobia
01-09-2007, 12:28 PM
Actually, I disagree.

Keep the child, and if the husband wants to leave- he has every right to leave. She can find someone else to be the father to her illegitimate child, and a husband to her.

But, the child should not be "given away" because some dumb bitch made a dumb mistake.

Obviously the answer is going to vary with the mindset of those involved. I can certainly see the rationale in what you're suggesting but I also can see the woman treating her child unfairly because she will view the kid as the catalyst for the failed marriage.

They need to first determine if there's any hope for a continued relationship and then make a decision about the child.

KChiefer
01-09-2007, 12:32 PM
The next time you wanna be a whore, go all out, and have 'em put in your ass! Problem solved!

OnTheWarpath58
01-09-2007, 12:32 PM
Dear Dirty Cheating Whore,

If you're so "happily married" why the affair? You "guess" you got carried away? You probably should have thought about all this before you pinned your ankles to your ears. Tell your husband, you filthy slut. At least save the man further embarrassment.....can you imagine the horror on his face when you deliver a black baby?

You are beyond help. Please do society a favor and swallow a couple hundred lithium pills with an antifreeze chaser.

Sincerely,

crazycoffey
01-09-2007, 12:35 PM
Unbelievable

I remember someone (not a friend so much, as an acquaintance) in High School; his girlfriend got pregnant and said it was his. It popped out black (he and she were white) and some how she still convinced him it was his. I guess the doctor even supported her that it is some how genetically possible. He married her. And Hell is awaiting her death. I don’t know, even if that WAS a possibility I take the out, because no one is ever going believe it.

crazycoffey
01-09-2007, 12:37 PM
BTW

This is another reason why I got a vasectomy while I was taking my Masseur class.

KChiefer
01-09-2007, 12:41 PM
Unbelievable

I remember someone (not a friend so much, as an acquaintance) in High School; his girlfriend got pregnant and said it was his. It popped out black (he and she were white) and some how she still convinced him it was his. I guess the doctor even supported her that it is some how genetically possible. He married her. And Hell is awaiting her death. I don’t know, even if that WAS a possibility I take the out, because no one is ever going believe it.

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Labyrinth/7393/whip.GIF


Actually my friend is going through a similar prob. After a year he found out the 2nd kid may not be his. He read her emails, which is shady, but considering what he found, it was warrented. I always hated that bitch and told him so in milder terms. Like his father told him, she's a gypsy. But at least she was smart enough to cheat on him with someone who looks kinda like him.

To be fair though, this may be karma biting him in the ass. He had a previous girlfriend preggers and I caught him cheating on her. I told him to stop and I wouldn't tell, but he continued and she eventually found out on her own.

CosmicPal
01-09-2007, 01:00 PM
They need to first determine if there's any hope for a continued relationship and then make a decision about the child.

Precisely.

What a mess she got herself into. And the one person who is MOST affected by all of this, is her unborn child. The child may end up being born unwanted by the real father AND the father that was meant to be.

Dartgod
01-09-2007, 01:11 PM
Dear Pregnant and Scared,

I don't have an answer for your problem, so I am forwarding your letter to The Jerry Springer Show.

Best of Luck

KChiefer
01-09-2007, 01:14 PM
Dear Pregnant and Scared,

I don't have an answer for your problem, so I am forwarding your letter to The Jerry Springer Show.

Best of Luck

Nice! ROFL

When my friend was telling me he had to pay $650 for paternity tests, I was thinking in my head that he could go on the Maury Show.

Phobia
01-09-2007, 01:20 PM
Precisely.

What a mess she got herself into. And the one person who is MOST affected by all of this, is her unborn child. The child may end up being born unwanted by the real father AND the father that was meant to be.

I'm most concerned about it being unwanted by the mother. That's where our most nasty criminal element is borne, IMO.

The very LAST thing she needs to do is Springer this on her husband in the delivery room. I'm surprised she needs somebody to tell her this. She must be pretty stupid.

TinyEvel
01-09-2007, 01:21 PM
This has got to be fake. WTF??!!

I'm gonna puke. This lady needs to show up at that massuer's door with nothing but a suitcase.

KChiefer
01-09-2007, 01:29 PM
I'm surprised she needs somebody to tell her this. She must be pretty stupid.

I'm surprised she could string the words together to write this!

88TG88
01-09-2007, 01:30 PM
This has got to be fake. WTF??!!

I'm gonna puke. This lady needs to show up at that massuer's door with nothing but a suitcase.
i don't think its fake. it hilarious how the massuer was black and theyre white but i don't think she would make something like this up just for laughs

sedated
01-09-2007, 02:16 PM
Dear Pregnant and Scared,

Move to the Bahamas and make the father's life as miserable as you've made your husband's

Then go f*ck yourself (as opposed to random masseurs, for a change)

bkkcoh
01-09-2007, 02:33 PM
She could always blame it that she was a decendant of Thomas Jefferson and it was in the blood-lines from way back. :banghead:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2003-07/8508087

BTW here is a picture of Amy, it looks like she needs some, if you know what I mean.... :)

sedated
01-09-2007, 02:37 PM
it hilarious how the massuer was black and theyre white

ya think if they were all white that she would have said nothing and tried to get away with it?

sedated
01-09-2007, 02:38 PM
BTW here is a picture of Amy, it looks like she needs some, if you know what I mean.... :)

masseur?

Rain Man
01-09-2007, 02:42 PM
There's a win-win here. The wife needs to tell the husband two things before she breaks the news:

1. She's been thinking about their sex life, and to spice things up a little bit, she's willing to let him have sex with another woman one time if he wants.

2. She thinks she's come up with a way for him to get free massages for the rest of his life.

crazycoffey
01-09-2007, 02:47 PM
There's a win-win here. The wife needs to tell the husband two things before she breaks the news:

1. She's been thinking about their sex life, and to spice things up a little bit, she's willing to let him have sex with another woman one time if he wants.

2. She thinks she's come up with a way for him to get free massages for the rest of his life.


Now that's funny, but you put way too much thought into this.

Logical
01-09-2007, 02:53 PM
Make up some religious reason why this is a miracle and he is lucky to be able support Jesus Christ in raising the baby. Religious people are completely ignorant and will fall for it.

Cochise
01-09-2007, 02:56 PM
Actually, I disagree.

Keep the child, and if the husband wants to leave- he has every right to leave. She can find someone else to be the father to her illegitimate child, and a husband to her.

But, the child should not be "given away" because some dumb bitch made a dumb mistake.

If the woman doesn't have any more sense than to do what she did, I don't think she is probably a good candidate to care for a child either.

Rain Man
01-09-2007, 03:20 PM
Now that's funny, but you put way too much thought into this.

I just type what the voices tell me to.

Phobia
01-09-2007, 03:20 PM
Make up some religious reason why this is a miracle and he is lucky to be able support Jesus Christ in raising the baby. Religious people are completely ignorant and will fall for it.

Old people are completely retarded and will say nearly anything to get a reaction.

J Diddy
01-09-2007, 03:22 PM
If the woman doesn't have any more sense than to do what she did, I don't think she is probably a good candidate to care for a child either.


like you've never had a sexual encounter that you didn't regret

Phobia
01-09-2007, 03:24 PM
like you've never had a sexual encounter that you didn't regret

I haven't. I treasure each and every one of them.

crazycoffey
01-09-2007, 03:26 PM
I haven't. I treasure each and every one of them.


all three?

Your mom
your sister
and my mom?

J Diddy
01-09-2007, 03:27 PM
I haven't. I treasure each and every one of them.

Even that time you were in a Mexican jail?


You still talk to Pablo?

stumppy
01-09-2007, 03:29 PM
Dear Badgi........






LMAO

Cochise
01-09-2007, 03:38 PM
Dear Badgi........






LMAO

Simplex3
01-09-2007, 03:39 PM
like you've never had a sexual encounter that you didn't regret
I haven't had so much as a kiss when I was exclusive with someone else. If you tell someone you're exclusive (and it sure sounds like this guy thought it was) and you find that person isn't "enough", have the common decency to let them know before you're out f**king anyone that touches you.

J Diddy
01-09-2007, 03:40 PM
I haven't had so much as a kiss when I was exclusive with someone else. If you tell someone you're exclusive (and it sure sounds like this guy thought it was) and you find that person isn't "enough", have the common decency to let them know before you're out f**king anyone that touches you.

all i'm saying is a moment of weaknes doesn't exactly equal a lifetime of incompetent parenthood

BIG_DADDY
01-09-2007, 03:45 PM
Make up some religious reason why this is a miracle and he is lucky to be able support Jesus Christ in raising the baby. Religious people are completely ignorant and will fall for it.

I thought you were going the direction of Allen Iverson there for a minute. That would have actually been funny.

Simplex3
01-09-2007, 03:49 PM
all i'm saying is a moment of weaknes doesn't exactly equal a lifetime of incompetent parenthood
There's weakness and there's stupidity. If you're out skanking around then at least wrap his willy or take your pills. If you didn't do either then take the freaking morning after pill. If you banged a guy (not your husband) a month or two ago and now you're starting to get morning sickness, you MIGHT want to check into who's it is BEFORE you break the great news to hubby.

I think she's qualified her intelligence already. :shrug:

Cochise
01-09-2007, 03:50 PM
all i'm saying is a moment of weaknes doesn't exactly equal a lifetime of incompetent parenthood

Well, she's obviously got such strong moral fiber...

BIG_DADDY
01-09-2007, 03:50 PM
To be fair though, this may be karma biting him in the ass. He had a previous girlfriend preggers and I caught him cheating on her. I told him to stop and I wouldn't tell, but he continued and she eventually found out on her own.

So let me get this straight you were going to snitch on your friend? What were you hoping to accomplish in doing that? Were you hoping maybe she would do you for telling her?

J Diddy
01-09-2007, 03:50 PM
There's weakness and there's stupidity. If you're out skanking around then at least wrap his willy or take your pills. If you didn't do either then take the freaking morning after pill. If you banged a guy (not your husband) a month or two ago and now you're starting to get morning sickness, you MIGHT want to check into who's it is BEFORE you break the great news to hubby.

I think she's qualified her intelligence already. :shrug:


forrest gump was a great parent

BIG_DADDY
01-09-2007, 03:52 PM
There's weakness and there's stupidity. If you're out skanking around then at least wrap his willy or take your pills. If you didn't do either then take the freaking morning after pill. If you banged a guy (not your husband) a month or two ago and now you're starting to get morning sickness, you MIGHT want to check into who's it is BEFORE you break the great news to hubby.

I think she's qualified her intelligence already. :shrug:

The worst part of this is our legal system will totally back her and piss all over her husband.

el borracho
01-09-2007, 03:53 PM
This situation would have had a happier ending if the woman would have aborted. Sounds like it is now too late and she has ruined three lives. I don't know what advice she thought she might receive. Once the husband finds out, he will make some of the decisions for her (she won't have to worry about salvaging the marriage).

Simplex3
01-09-2007, 03:54 PM
Well, she's obviously got such strong moral fiber...
Hey, she was seduced. Wait, no, now the columnist says she was COERCED. See, it's not her fault.

Redrum_69
01-09-2007, 03:57 PM
Hey, this isnt a desperate time....so the score is 23-8...we are sticking with our #1 QB Green and I am not putting in Huard....

BIG_DADDY
01-09-2007, 04:01 PM
Hey, she was seduced. Wait, no, now the columnist says she was COERCED. See, it's not her fault.

Of course it's not her fault she is a woman. I'll tell you what will happen. He finds out and files for divorce. The courts will make him pay alimony. If he doesn't leave her over it right away he will have assumed the role of parent and she will get child support if she leaves him. This guy just needs to write off the relationship immediately. He's lucky he is getting the chance to get out now. It could be worse, this could be her 4th child and the other 3 are his.

BIG_DADDY
01-09-2007, 04:05 PM
maybe he won't notice

http://img20.exs.cx/img20/4568/owned-wtf.jpg

LMAO

Iowanian
01-09-2007, 04:08 PM
Someone call Jim's nurse...the collostomy tube is pinched and backing up again.

Make up some religious reason why this is a miracle and he is lucky to be able support Jesus Christ in raising the baby. Religious people are completely ignorant and will fall for it.

mylittlepony
01-09-2007, 04:10 PM
Alright here is what you do. Fake a struggle in the home being a pregnant wife you are most likely home alone. Run away for 1week-1½weeks(for maximum emotional trauma). Get a misscarige. Turn up. Tell the police that an African American male of average height (ushual description) kidnapped you and you were so stressed you might have lost the baby. Be over emotional, your husband (being a guy) wont be able to cope with your emotions and will sooner or later try to "buy you off" rather then see you unhappy and (failing to understand your emotions) he knows he cant do anything about it. Suggest perhaps that the last time you were at peace was in Bahamas. Get knocked up by Masseur. Repeat over and over... Good luck.

Iowanian
01-09-2007, 04:12 PM
I like how this Ann Landers pretty much tried to turn it into the guy taking advantage of her, instead of her being an unfaithful rutt.


Interestingly enough....I guess I'm Owned.

Unaware of this discussion, someone from my office had clipped this article, crossed out some locations and made additions, placed it on my desk.

You see, brideowanian's birthday was recently and I sent her to a Spa for a body wrap and whatnot.....I guess I didn't know that the Exfoliation of the buttocks was done with the bristly pubic region of a rasta. I should probably ask for clarification.

sedated
01-09-2007, 04:18 PM
forrest gump was a great parent

do we need to go over the difference between real and make-believe again?


the only thing that's real are the voices telling you to burn things

Baby Lee
01-09-2007, 04:19 PM
I guess I didn't know that the Exfoliation of the buttocks was done with the bristly pubic region of a rasta. I should probably ask for clarification.
The chefs may suck cock by choice, but this place still has it's burst.

Halfcan
01-09-2007, 04:23 PM
Same thing happened to my cousins friend-except it was a Stripper for her Bachlorette Party and she did not realize her bad luck til the unhappy father to be saw the black baby come out, and stormed out of the delivery room. OWNED!!

J Diddy
01-09-2007, 04:24 PM
Same thing happened to my cousins friend-except it was a Stripper for her Bachlorette Party and she did not realize her bad luck til the unhappy father to be saw the black baby come out, and stormed out of the delivery room. OWNED!!

yeah that'd be a little rough

Baby Lee
01-09-2007, 04:25 PM
Same thing happened to my cousins friend-except it was a Stripper for her Bachlorette Party and she did not realize her bad luck til the unhappy father to be saw the black baby come out, and stormed out of the delivery room. OWNED!!
Hi. This is Sal Governale. And unfortunately yesterday I said some things . . .

Fish
01-09-2007, 04:30 PM
Alright here is what you do. Fake a struggle in the home being a pregnant wife you are most likely home alone. Run away for 1week-1½weeks(for maximum emotional trauma). Get a misscarige. Turn up. Tell the police that an African American male of average height (ushual description) kidnapped you and you were so stressed you might have lost the baby. Be over emotional, your husband (being a guy) wont be able to cope with your emotions and will sooner or later try to "buy you off" rather then see you unhappy and (failing to understand your emotions) he knows he cant do anything about it. Suggest perhaps that the last time you were at peace was in Bahamas. Get knocked up by Masseur. Repeat over and over... Good luck.

I'm not sure what's happening here, but I really hope it's sarcasm with a sprinkle of stupidity.....

Buck
01-09-2007, 05:24 PM
Maybe she should just say that she was raped by "Some Puerto Rican Guy" while in the Bahamas.

Simplex3
01-09-2007, 05:28 PM
Maybe she should just say that she was raped by "Some Puerto Rican Guy" while in the Bahamas.
Might be hard to explain why she came back all smiles.

Silock
01-09-2007, 05:30 PM
Easy. Do it yourself abortion.

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/DES/1368521~Jack-Daniels-Tennesee-Posters.jpg
http://www.designboom.com/history/wirehangers/h12.gif

Buck
01-09-2007, 05:31 PM
Might be hard to explain why she came back all smiles.

Uhh....Maybe those were the lasting effects of the GHB???

Simplex3
01-09-2007, 05:41 PM
Of course I'd be hard pressed to think that this guy is totally clueless that his wife may be a tramp. Deep down he's got to know she's a skank. I mean it's not like the guy she cheated with wined her and dined her. S**t, they were only "together" for a f**king hour.

Simplex3
01-09-2007, 05:43 PM
BTW, has Nifong been called in to investigate yet?

BIG_DADDY
01-09-2007, 05:43 PM
Of course I'd be hard pressed to think that this guy is totally clueless that his wife may be a tramp. Deep down he's got to know she's a skank. I mean it's not like the guy she cheated with wined her and dined her. S**t, they were only "together" for a f**king hour.


Hell she paid good money to get piped by that black cock. Probably his money too. LMAO

Count Alex's Losses
01-09-2007, 05:45 PM
Same thing happened to my cousins friend-except it was a Stripper for her Bachlorette Party and she did not realize her bad luck til the unhappy father to be saw the black baby come out, and stormed out of the delivery room. OWNED!!

Details please.

Simplex3
01-09-2007, 05:48 PM
Details please.
Don't worry, when Pudgy Underwear has her black kid we'll all act like we thought it was yours.

Fairplay
01-09-2007, 05:56 PM
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Buck
01-09-2007, 05:59 PM
That movie should win an award for being the stupidest thing ever on the internet.

orlandochiefsfan
01-09-2007, 06:02 PM
Phobia the Clorox made me fall out of chair.

Baby Lee
01-09-2007, 06:03 PM
That movie should win an award for being the stupidest thing ever on the internet.
FAX says Silock gets that particular firmament.

Phobia
01-09-2007, 06:24 PM
Phobia the Clorox made me fall out of chair.

Seriously? That was the funniest thing I've posted in 3 years? That anybody has posted?

Fish
01-09-2007, 06:28 PM
Phobia the Clorox made me fall out of chair.

And this is your first post after lurking for 2 years?

Outstanding....

Count Alex's Losses
01-09-2007, 06:29 PM
HOLY SHIT. Your post was so funny that it made him MAKE HIS FIRST POST.

Simplex3
01-09-2007, 06:31 PM
Phobia the Clorox made me fall out of chair.
Leave it to a f**king n00b to actually take advice he finds on The Planet.

n00b: Call poison control.

:shake:

crazycoffey
01-09-2007, 06:32 PM
Leave it to a f**king n00b to actually take advice he finds on The Planet.

n00b: Call poison control.

:shake:


ROFL

Rain Man
01-09-2007, 06:39 PM
Leave it to a f**king n00b to actually take advice he finds on The Planet.

n00b: Call poison control.

:shake:

ROFL

His throat is raw from laughter. Or maybe Clorox.

Fish
01-09-2007, 06:40 PM
Leave it to a f**king n00b to actually take advice he finds on The Planet.

n00b: Call poison control.

:shake:

Second...level...burst....

Simplex3
01-09-2007, 06:42 PM
ROFL

His throat is raw from laughter. Or maybe Clorox.

Logical
01-09-2007, 08:47 PM
Old people are completely retarded and will say nearly anything to get a reaction.If it was not too late I would have seriously advised an abortion, but third trimester is too late.

Phobia
01-09-2007, 11:21 PM
If it was not too late I would have seriously advised an abortion, but third trimester is too late.

Abortion isn't an option for me nor would I recommend it. But I know it's a realistic solution for some.

DeezNutz
01-09-2007, 11:25 PM
maybe he won't notice

http://img20.exs.cx/img20/4568/owned-wtf.jpg

It's hard to get me to laugh, but that's funny stuff.

milkman
01-10-2007, 01:38 AM
So she didn't need to tell her husband about the affair if she wasn't pregnant with the other dude's baby? Seduction or coercion, consenting is still consenting. This woman gives people advice?

Dear Abby,
I hope, for your husbands sake, that you swallow everything as easily as you swallowed this woman's story.

luv
01-10-2007, 01:59 AM
Dear Abby,
I hope, for your husbands sake, that you swallow everything as easily as you swallowed this woman's story.
I thought women who stayed at home had romance novels to read? I guess they read crap like that for a little more drama? Are soap operas still on?

ChiefButthurt
01-10-2007, 06:25 AM
Wow...what a great idea for a Southwest Airlines commercial.

You know the ones where the the wife is going through labor and the kid pops out and he/she is black. The look on her pregos face and the dad.....the scene fades.."ever want to just get away"? haha I'm gonna make a call, don't you guys steal my idea!

Chiefs_Fan
01-10-2007, 08:19 AM
She should have fessed up when she got back from the trip. No matter when hubby finds out now she in deep s**t. Get it over with now. He'll be even more pissed if he has to sign for the hospital bill then finds out.

Skip Towne
01-10-2007, 08:24 AM
Will it look like a black Huard..Hootie and GoChiefs will adopt it....
They make a handsome couple.

Cochise
01-10-2007, 08:37 AM
She should have fessed up when she got back from the trip. No matter when hubby finds out now she in deep s**t. Get it over with now. He'll be even more pissed if he has to sign for the hospital bill then finds out.

Sure, you'd be pissed for a little while, but eventually you'd be happy that you found out sooner than later that your wife was a depraved worthless sloot. I would be counting my blessings that I found out what a dumb stunt she was before we had any kids that she could use against me for the rest of my life. Seriously, I think this could be the biggest blessing in disguise he will ever get. He is on death row and the governor is just about ready to dial up the warden.

Iowanian
01-10-2007, 08:39 AM
Details please.

How did you sister break the news?

Iowanian
01-10-2007, 08:43 AM
Wow...what a great idea for a Southwest Airlines commercial.

You know the ones where the the wife is going through labor and the kid pops out and he/she is black. The look on her pregos face and the dad.....the scene fades.."ever want to just get away"? haha I'm gonna make a call, don't you guys steal my idea!

This should have been submitted for the superbowl commercial contest, but it needs 1 more thing.


The commercial begins with the wife, standing in line at a Wilt Chamberlin book signing for her husband's Christmas present......then go to the labor-delivery.......

crazycoffey
01-10-2007, 08:47 AM
This should have been submitted for the superbowl commercial contest, but it needs 1 more thing.


The commercial begins with the wife, standing in line at a Wilt Chamberlin book signing for her husband's Christmas present......then go to the labor-delivery.......

I know wilt was a man whore, but I still like your idea, needs updating.

Bill Belichick's book signing

http://www.allthingsbillbelichick.com/images/paperbacksmall.jpg (http://www.amazon.com/dp/1401308791?tag=allthibilbel-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=1401308791&adid=14DVFFSRN737KAP56A7E&)

Iowanian
01-10-2007, 08:59 AM
That ruins the joke, unless the kid comes out in a filthy frizzled Hoodie.

crazycoffey
01-10-2007, 09:03 AM
That ruins the joke, unless the kid comes out in a filthy frizzled Hoodie.

what if the married couple is black and the kid pops out pale?

I did kinda mess up that race direction. still shaking off the sleepy sandman. Need more coffee.

crazycoffey
01-10-2007, 09:04 AM
didn't Joe horn sleep around, I remember something about that, but not specifics.

That keeps it more football focused and updated all the while keeping the race angle intact.

Skip Towne
01-10-2007, 09:14 AM
BTW

This is another reason why I got a vasectomy while I was taking my Masseur class.
Too bad your dad didn't do that.