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DaFace
01-11-2007, 10:39 AM
Since Rain Man isn't around today to update the world on the state of things in our little corner of Denver, I figured I'd assume the responsibility. Last night around 7pm, someone broke into our office. Well, "broke" may not be the right term since there was no evidence of anyone breaking anything. But somehow they got through the doors.

And what did they take, you ask?
-1 17" LCD flat panel monitor (from our server, which was in a tiny closet in the back) - approximate value $200
-1 black garment bag (also in a tiny closet) - approximate value $50
-around $.80 in change from someone's desk drawer

And what did they NOT take? They didn't touch any of the computers or monitors from anyone's office (doors are usually left wide open), nor did they take the server itself (which has a value higher than I'm comfortable divulging here). Tape backup system? Untouched. HD monitor? Nope. Projector? Camera? Nope and nope.

It's bizarre. It's basically a "best case scenario" of a break-in. Weird. :shake:



Oh, and my glorious welcome to the wonderful city of Denver continues. :banghead:

Fish
01-11-2007, 10:42 AM
Crooks with terribly low expectations.... what has Denver come to?

Iowanian
01-11-2007, 10:44 AM
I'd have swiped the Projector and a laptop, so I could show my friends in 6x6' full color glory, the digital photos in the power point presentation of the robbery as I committed it.

"Here I am, urinating in the coffee pot...."

OnTheWarpath58
01-11-2007, 10:45 AM
No evidence of a "break in?"

Who all has a key?

Just you and RM?

:hmmm:

HonestChieffan
01-11-2007, 10:47 AM
Probably a Bronco.

MVChiefFan
01-11-2007, 10:48 AM
I'd have swiped the Projector and a laptop, so I could show my friends in 6x6' full color glory, the digital photos in the power point presentation of the robbery as I committed it.

"Here I am, urinating in the coffee pot...."


ROFL

NICE!!!

DaFace
01-11-2007, 10:49 AM
No evidence of a "break in?"

Who all has a key?

Just you and RM?

:hmmm:

Every employee does (around 15 of us), and there is a custodial staff that is employed by the building owner (I think). All employees are either here this morning or out of town (with RM).

The most likely possibility is that a door was left unlocked. I guess it's possible that one of the custodial staff is the culprit, but they've never been a problem in the past and it would be a pretty quick way for them to lose a job.

Iowanian
01-11-2007, 10:51 AM
You should probably check the toilet tank for an "upper decker". Its kind of my trademark.

trndobrd
01-11-2007, 10:55 AM
Maybe an employee came in to pick up the old monitor that was going to be replaced, and decided the take their garment bag home and needed $0.80 for parking.

BIG_DADDY
01-11-2007, 10:59 AM
Some of these guys are just on crack. My last jeep got broken into awhile back and they slashed the window to get in. The doors don't have locks all he had to do was open it. I had a $1,500 stereo system in it. The amp was just sitting under the back seat. He stole my CB radio instead that didn't even work. I could still smell the dirty little ****er in the jeep when I got into it.

ChiefButthurt
01-11-2007, 11:01 AM
You should probably check the toilet tank for an "upper decker". Its kind of my trademark.

ROFL

StcChief
01-11-2007, 11:04 AM
You should probably check the toilet tank for an "upper decker". Its kind of my trademark.
ROFL.... that's great leave your DNA.

dj56dt58
01-11-2007, 11:05 AM
When did they let Maurice Clarrett out?

Rooster
01-11-2007, 11:05 AM
You should probably check the toilet tank for an "upper decker". Its kind of my trademark.

ROFL ROFL OMG that's good.

DaFace
01-11-2007, 11:09 AM
You should probably check the toilet tank for an "upper decker". Its kind of my trademark.

Hmm...I'll check it out. The only problem is that our toilet is shared with a couple other offices, so you could pretty much come up and leave us such a considerate gift anytime - no break in necessary.

ChiTown
01-11-2007, 11:09 AM
By Definition:

"The act of defecating in the upper tank of the toilet. When the next poor unsuspecting person flushes the toilet they get a bowl of beef stew. the upper decker is a weapon of terror and should only be used on people who deserve it."

Iowanian
01-11-2007, 11:09 AM
Last saturday night, some local crackheads were fortunate to leave from my property with craniums in tact.

There apparently has been a rash of vehicle breakins in our area....Anyway, saturday night at 9pm, brideowanian went out to our enclosed porch to lock the deadbolt, and noticed the security light on the garage(20 yards away) was on, and when she turned on the inside light, saw someone run from my truck....maybe. We live in a part of the country, where leaving your vehicle and house unlocked has always been an option. Thats changing quickly. Damn Druggies.

Keep in mind, I was still fuming about the Chiefs loss, hate thieves and needed a place to vent.....I didn't believe her enough to go out, my bad.

ffw to sunday morning.....Leaving for Church, noticed someone had been in the garage, rifled through her car and left the arm rest et al open, and had been in my truck and had the face plate pulled off of my CD player, but hadn't broken or stolen anything. She must have stepped out in time.

I wish I'd have seen them, and had been able to tomahawk their arses.

Oh and bRainman...they didn't get my bike.

gblowfish
01-11-2007, 11:09 AM
Burgulars are usually meth heads or crack heads who have no idea what of value to steal.

Ten years ago my house got broken into. It was a 15 year old meth head. He stole about $200 worth of CDs and a VCR worth about $100. He left a laptop computer worth (at the time) around two grand, and ignored my wife's jewelry.

What pissed me off is he stole around $400 worth of stuff, and did about $5000 damage to the house. And I couldn't do a thing about it because he was a minor.

I definitely wouldn't make a good juror.

Rooster
01-11-2007, 11:12 AM
By Definition:

"The act of defecating in the upper tank of the toilet. When the next poor unsuspecting person flushes the toilet they get a bowl of beef stew. the upper decker is a weapon of terror and should only be used on people who deserve it."

The ‘upper decker’ is so diabolical, I love it. With this new found form of terror I can rule the world. :)

tk13
01-11-2007, 11:13 AM
You've just brought all kinds of bad luck since you've moved to Denver, haven't you?

DaFace
01-11-2007, 11:15 AM
You've just brought all kinds of bad luck since you've moved to Denver, haven't you?

My coworkers have blamed the snow on me. I don't quite know how that works. THEY are the ones who live in Denver.

BIG_DADDY
01-11-2007, 11:17 AM
Oh, and my glorious welcome to the wonderful city of Denver continues. :banghead:


What ever made you move to dog killing country anyway?

DaFace
01-11-2007, 11:20 AM
What ever made you move to dog killing country anyway?

Blame Kevin. And my fiancee.

SLAG
01-11-2007, 11:26 AM
Hey DaFace... I have a 17" LCD monitor wrapped in this black garment bag... that i can sell you...


$200

Redrum_69
01-11-2007, 11:26 AM
Kevin Pollack?

Iowanian
01-11-2007, 11:28 AM
Stick with us kid. Pay attention and you will learn many vile, dangerous and attrocious weapons of word-fu.

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, ****ing beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on programmers, IT guys, Computer nerds, video game heads or working greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?
The ‘upper decker’ is so diabolical, I love it. With this new found form of terror I can rule the world. :)

SLAG
01-11-2007, 11:31 AM
Stick with us kid. Pay attention and you will learn many vile, dangerous and attrocious weapons of word-fu.

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, ****ing beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on programmers, IT guys, Computer nerds, video game heads or working greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?



Sir Yes Sir ? :shrug:

Iowanian
01-11-2007, 11:40 AM
I know this much, if I ever have to resort to theft, I'll develop a trademark so tawdry, that people will be so focused on that, that they won't even notice the 50" bigscreen missing for days.

Well, maybe not, but something that makes the police say "wtf" every time.

An upper decker would be awesome.

Maybe set the ceiling fan to "high", turn off the light switch and dump all of their condiments on the blades.

Enter in the dark, flip the switch, recieve a bath of mayo, ketsup, mustard and relish.....clear your eyes to you missing gold coin collection. Shazam!

Frazod
01-11-2007, 11:48 AM
Burgulars are usually meth heads or crack heads who have no idea what of value to steal.

Ten years ago my house got broken into. It was a 15 year old meth head. He stole about $200 worth of CDs and a VCR worth about $100. He left a laptop computer worth (at the time) around two grand, and ignored my wife's jewelry.

What pissed me off is he stole around $400 worth of stuff, and did about $5000 damage to the house. And I couldn't do a thing about it because he was a minor.

I definitely wouldn't make a good juror.

Couldn't you sue the parent(s) for the damages?

Mr. Plow
01-11-2007, 11:49 AM
You could also remove all the springs from the pens. That way, when they go to write down what's missing, BAM, the pen doesn't work.

morphius
01-11-2007, 11:50 AM
There was no evidence of spilled chicken noodles, were there?

Iowanian
01-11-2007, 11:51 AM
Replace all of their lights with underwatted bulbs.

FAX
01-11-2007, 11:51 AM
You could also remove all the springs from the pens. That way, when they go to write down what's missing, BAM, the pen doesn't work.

ROFL

FAX

Redrum_69
01-11-2007, 11:53 AM
You could also remove all the springs from the pens. That way, when they go to write down what's missing, BAM, the pen doesn't work.


Superglue the phones...


Look around the office for the people who leave their mugs out...and do your worst imagination to the mugs rims...


This one is the best....superglue a quarter on the floor in front of the pop machine...everyone has been in that situation where you go to the machine and it eats a quarter or you lack change because they raised prices...look down on the floor...and then they fight like hell to get that quarter

Mr. Plow
01-11-2007, 11:56 AM
Randomly move things from one person's desk to another. They'll spend all day trying to get all their shit back.

Redrum_69
01-11-2007, 12:01 PM
Go find the empty cube...that someone just moved from or moving into

get the keys to the cabinets in the cubicles

ever wonder what the smell is like from a jar of shad sides when its left open in a cabinet..thats locked...and happens to have the keys locked inside of it too?

Iowanian
01-11-2007, 12:04 PM
glue everything to its current location.

Coffee mugs, pens, pencils, calculator.....paperwork.....all gorilla glued down.

Log into their computer, change their screen resolution, rotate the screen so its upside down(not physically).

Mr. Plow
01-11-2007, 12:05 PM
Delete their "cookies". They never remember all those passwords.

FAX
01-11-2007, 12:06 PM
I have an idea.

Delete their "cookies".

FAX

Redrum_69
01-11-2007, 12:10 PM
Change everyones laptops around


when they log in..after three attempts they'll have to call the help desk

this action can go on all day...finally having the tech come out and say WTF!

Iowanian
01-11-2007, 12:10 PM
I read a great idea here once....make a screen shot of thier desktop, delete the icons and then make the screen shot the background.

If I ever get desperate, I'm starting a crime syndicate and recruiting here.

FringeNC
01-11-2007, 12:12 PM
Perhaps this was the crook:

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2006/worst-burglar-ever-p1.php

Mr. Plow
01-11-2007, 12:17 PM
I read a great idea here once....make a screen shot of thier desktop, delete the icons and then make the screen shot the background.

If I ever get desperate, I'm starting a crime syndicate and recruiting here.

Nice.

Click-click
"Huh? I must not of hit the icon."

Click-click
"Hmmmm, somethings wrong."

Click-click-click-click-click-click
"Damnit!"


I'd love to see that going on. I may have to try that one at my office.

slappyhappy
01-11-2007, 12:19 PM
switch the keys around on the keyboard. Great confusion for those "hunt and peck" people.

ChiTown
01-11-2007, 12:21 PM
I have an idea.

Delete their "cookies".

FAX

Back off my cookies, bitch!

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:6BPIhBBpw3LwjM:maroon.uchicago.edu/wordpress/wp-content/podcasts/cookiemonster.jpg

Dartgod
01-11-2007, 12:21 PM
If I ever get desperate, I'm starting a crime syndicate and recruiting here.
I once ran a jumper wire between the right turn signal and horn of a co-worker's car (he HAD to turn right to leave our parking lot). It was hilarious when he flipped on that signal...HONK...HONK...HONK...HONK...

The best part was when he was going to make a Ralph at the next intersection, he flipped it on again...HONK...HONK...HONK...HONK...

KCKID58
01-11-2007, 12:45 PM
at least they didn't steal all of your beer..........




THEM SOMEABITCHES !!!!!!!!

trndobrd
01-11-2007, 12:46 PM
Go find the empty cube...that someone just moved from or moving into

get the keys to the cabinets in the cubicles

ever wonder what the smell is like from a jar of shad sides when its left open in a cabinet..thats locked...and happens to have the keys locked inside of it too?


No, but I know what it smells like four days after someone pulls out the bottom desk drawer and places an open can of sardines in the bottom of the desk and the replaces the drawer.

Demonpenz
01-11-2007, 12:55 PM
Put red coloring in the back of the toilet so when they flush red stuff comes up making them think they are pissing blood

Iowanian
01-11-2007, 02:25 PM
Don't tell anyone, but I'm cutting letters out of a magazine to make a Ransome letter to bRainman.

Iowanian
01-17-2007, 09:35 AM
maybe bRainman should use some of the gorilla catching tactics to catch this offender.

Over-Head
01-17-2007, 09:52 AM
Don't tell anyone, but I'm cutting letters out of a magazine to make a Ransome letter to bRainman.ROFL

Rain Man
01-17-2007, 10:13 AM
You have no idea how much it kills me to not be able to say what's going on with this.

DaFace
01-17-2007, 10:20 AM
You have no idea how much it kills me to not be able to say what's going on with this.

:hmmm: