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View Full Version : KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER - An oldie but a goodie.


SLQ
01-22-2007, 05:17 PM
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
(the actual AP headline (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/dir_rxt.asp?k=headline))

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her
in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick
up some groceries.

Several people (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/dir_rxt.asp?k=people) noticed her sitting in her car (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/dir_rxt.asp?k=car) with the windows
rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind
the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became
concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's
eyes were now open, and she looked very strange.

He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot
in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in
for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove
her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making
a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough
hit her in the back of her head.

When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the
dough and thought it was her brains.

She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold
her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came
to her aid.

Linda is a blonde and a Democrat, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.

Extra Point
01-22-2007, 05:20 PM
Last night, I watched a big fat chunk of Seth McFarland's "Family Guy" and "American Dad" during the Dome-Gate game. The ref to Pillsbury Dough Boy was timely. Thanks for the thread!

Dave Lane
01-22-2007, 05:22 PM
Not true and in the version I heard Rush Limbaugh was the victim.

And thats for sharing your inbox spam with the rest of us...

Dave

Buck
01-22-2007, 05:24 PM
Did you hear the newest Chiefs Jokes?

Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Kansas City Chiefs.

Q: What do the Kansas City Chiefs and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."

Q: How do you keep a Kansas City Chief out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Where do you go in Kansas City in case of a tornado?
A: To Arrowhead - they never get a touchdown there.

Q: What do you call a Kansas City Chief with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief!!

Q: Why was Herm Edwards upset when the Kansas City Chiefs play book was stolen?
A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it.

Q: What's the difference between the Kansas City Chiefs and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get 4 quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: How many Kansas City Chiefs does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and it appears we will never find out.

Q: What do the Kansas City Chief and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home (and get killed on the road).

Extra Point
01-22-2007, 05:27 PM
Q: How many Kansas City Chiefs does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Ask Len Dawson, Otis Taylor, Fred Arbanas, Willie Lanier, or anyone else on the SB IV roster.

I fuggin remember!

SLQ
01-22-2007, 05:31 PM
Not true and in the version I heard Rush Limbaugh was the victim.

And thats for sharing your inbox spam with the rest of us...

Dave

It's the off season, the Chiefs are waiting for next year. What else do you have to do?

Al Bundy
01-22-2007, 06:16 PM
Did you hear the newest Chiefs Jokes?


Q: What do you call a Kansas City Chief with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief!!

That actually reads "What Do you call an Eagle with a superbowl ring?"

KcMizzou
01-22-2007, 06:22 PM
That actually reads "What Do you call an Eagle with a superbowl ring?"Yeah, that same list has been going around for years and years. People just change the team to suit the situation.