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scott free
01-23-2007, 03:14 PM
Seeing the joke thread about Roswell in the DC forum got me thinking, so i decided to share just a few of my favorite quotes on the subject.

Its been an area of intense interest to me for many years & i can take any mO0NbAt quips that some may want to dish out, i think these quotes speak well enough for themselves.

I wont waste my time arguing the subject, just wanted to share.


The nations of the world will have to unite, for the next war will be an interplanetary war. The nations of Earth must someday make a common front against attack by people from other planets. - Gen. Douglas MacArthur

The phenomenon is something real and not visionary or fictious - Gen. Nathan Twining, former head of the Joint Chiefs.

I had a good friend at Roswell, a fellow officer. He had to be careful what he said, but it sure wasnt a weather balloon like the Air Force cover story. He made it clear to me that what crashed was of alien origin and that members of the crew were recovered. - US Astronaut Gordon Cooper.

We have contact with alien cultures. - US Astronaut Brian O'Leary.

We all know that UFO's are real, all we need to ask is where do they come from???. - US Astronaut Edgar Mitchell.

At no time, when Astronauts were in space, were they alone. There was a constant surveillance by UFO's. - US Astronaut Scott Carpenter.

We went up after'em and thats all i'm gonna say. - My uncle Campbell, a US Air Force fighter pilot Lt. Col. & Korean war vet, recounting an incident over Malmstrom AF Base in 1975 to my mother.

Braincase
01-23-2007, 03:22 PM
Tom Cruise is the alien ambassador to Earth.

JimNasium
01-23-2007, 03:24 PM
"WTF was that?" - Braincase, March 5, 1983.

FAX
01-23-2007, 03:24 PM
Klaatu barada nikto.

FAX

FAX
01-23-2007, 03:25 PM
"I'm worried about Gort." - Klaatu

FAX

Redrum_69
01-23-2007, 03:28 PM
Split up and head back to the surface. And see if you can get a few of those TIE fighters to follow you.

Fairplay
01-23-2007, 03:32 PM
They are taking me away from the Planet.- Florida Chief

siberian khatru
01-23-2007, 03:33 PM
"Imagine a dying planet in some distant corner of the universe. Its natural resources exhausted. Its inhabitants sterile. Doomed to extinction. A situation we may one day find ourselves in, gentlemen. So they discover earth. Abundant, fertile. Able to satisfy their needs. They look upon us not with animosity, but callousness. As we look upon our animals that we depend on for food. Yes, it appears they are driven by circumstance across a billion miles of space, driven on by the greatest force in the universe - survival."

siberian khatru
01-23-2007, 03:34 PM
"I don't buy it..."
"I'm not trying to SELL you anything, boy!"

JimNasium
01-23-2007, 03:35 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e7/MorkMindy.jpg/250px-MorkMindy.jpg"Na-Nu Na-Nu"

scott free
01-23-2007, 03:35 PM
"Imagine a dying planet in some distant corner of the universe. Its natural resources exhausted. Its inhabitants sterile. Doomed to extinction. A situation we may one day find ourselves in, gentlemen. So they discover earth. Abundant, fertile. Able to satisfy their needs. They look upon us not with animosity, but callousness. As we look upon our animals that we depend on for food. Yes, it appears they are driven by circumstance across a billion miles of space, driven on by the greatest force in the universe - survival."

What movie is that from???

siberian khatru
01-23-2007, 03:37 PM
What movie is that from???

http://ufoseries.com/

J Diddy
01-23-2007, 03:37 PM
Tom Cruise is the alien ambassador to Earth.

and he won't come out of the closet

Count Zarth
01-23-2007, 04:04 PM
Split up and head back to the surface. And see if you can get a few of those TIE fighters to follow you.

You're getting me hot.

Count Zarth
01-23-2007, 04:05 PM
"I'm just a little anxious to get up there and whoop E.T.'s ass, that's all."

J Diddy
01-23-2007, 04:07 PM
"I'm just a little anxious to get up there and whoop E.T.'s ass, that's all."


that's independence day, right?

noa
01-23-2007, 04:07 PM
Arrakis is the most important planet in the universe as it is the only source of Melange, the spice that is required for space travel and extended life.

FAX
01-23-2007, 04:08 PM
"What skinny grey fingers you have!" - Little Red Abductee

"The better to stick this probe up your ass." - Crazy Alien

FAX

Stewie
01-23-2007, 04:12 PM
I went hoggin' in high school with a girl that had UFOs... the rest of this thread is a bore.

Count Zarth
01-23-2007, 04:13 PM
that's independence day, right?

"Alright you alien assholes! In the words of my generation - UP YOURS! Hello boys! I'm baaaaaaaaaack!"

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/5729/independenceday603hz.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

J Diddy
01-23-2007, 04:15 PM
I went hoggin' in high school with a girl that had UFOs... the rest of this thread is a bore.

yes this post definitely grabbed my attention

not necessarily due to the gravity of it, more along the lines of wtf are you talking about

FAX
01-23-2007, 04:15 PM
I understand your perspective, Mr. Stewie.

But, once you're driving down a country road and you get swarmed by a gang of crazy aliens and swept up into their spaceship and spend four days of lost time with a probe up your ass, you may change your tune.

FAX

Count Zarth
01-23-2007, 04:15 PM
I'll be honest. When Randy Quaid says "Tell my children....I love them." .... I get a little verklempt.

scott free
01-23-2007, 04:17 PM
I went hoggin' in high school with a girl that had UFOs... the rest of this thread is a bore.

Then get out.

J Diddy
01-23-2007, 04:18 PM
I understand your perspective, Mr. Stewie.

But, once you're driving down a country road and you get swarmed by a gang of crazy aliens and swept up into their spaceship and spend four days of lost time with a probe up your ass, you may change your tune.

FAX

wow you sound bitter

it didn't hurt that bad did it

Donger
01-23-2007, 04:19 PM
Donger: "Errr, what the f*ck was that?" - New Mexico, 1998.

Rooster
01-23-2007, 04:19 PM
I thought this fit the thread.


Cruise 'is Christ' of Scientology

TOM Cruise is the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.

The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.

“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

Cruise joined the Church of Scientology in the ’80s. Leader L Ron Hubbard claimed humans bear traces of an ancient alien civilisation.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007030603,00.html

Stewie
01-23-2007, 04:20 PM
I understand your perspective, Mr. Stewie.

But, once you're driving down a country road and you get swarmed by a gang of crazy aliens and swept up into their spaceship and spend four days of lost time with a probe up your ass, you may change your tune.

FAX

Woody Allen wrote one of the funniest chapters in a book EVER about UFOs. No one can top his insights and humor about the subject. I was crying and trying to read at the same time.

FAX
01-23-2007, 04:20 PM
Frankly, I think they may have inserted the probe a little too far into Tom Cruise.

FAX

J Diddy
01-23-2007, 04:22 PM
Frankly, I think they may have inserted the probe a little too far into Tom Cruise.

FAX

Tom Cruise is the probe

scott free
01-23-2007, 04:22 PM
Donger: "Errr, what the f*ck was that?" - New Mexico, 1998.

You know it doesnt look right the second you see it.

FAX
01-23-2007, 04:28 PM
Woody Allen wrote one of the funniest chapters in a book EVER about UFOs. No one can top his insights and humor about the subject. I was crying and trying to read at the same time.

Well it may be funny to Woody Allen. For all I know, he may be an alien himself, Mr. Stewie.

But these little bastards are troublemakers with a capital T as far as I'm concerned. It's all pretty bright lights and amazing flight stunts until they grab your ass and lay you out naked on a cold table with no water or food and no one to complain to except the big, bad-ass lizard captain who's doing his best to impregnate you with stolen cattle sperm.

FAX

Donger
01-23-2007, 04:32 PM
"Major Walsh, it is an event sociologique."

Donger
01-23-2007, 04:33 PM
Scientist 1: Einstein WAS right!
Team Leader: Einstein was PROBABLY one of them!

Stewie
01-23-2007, 04:34 PM
Well it may be funny to Woody Allen. For all I know, he may be an alien himself, Mr. Stewie.

But these little bastards are troublemakers with a capital T as far as I'm concerned. It's all pretty bright lights and amazing flight stunts until they grab your ass and lay you out naked on a cold table with no water or food and no one to complain to except the big, bad-ass lizard captain who's doing his best to impregnate you with stolen cattle sperm.

FAX

Mmmmm... cattle sperm! Mr. FAX would you please get with the REAL UFO thread... PLEASE!

Simplex3
01-23-2007, 04:43 PM
Well it may be funny to Woody Allen. For all I know, he may be an alien himself, Mr. Stewie.

But these little bastards are troublemakers with a capital T as far as I'm concerned. It's all pretty bright lights and amazing flight stunts until they grab your ass and lay you out naked on a cold table with no water or food and no one to complain to except the big, bad-ass lizard captain who's doing his best to impregnate you with stolen cattle sperm.

FAX

scott free
01-23-2007, 04:44 PM
^^^ ROFL

Count Zarth
01-23-2007, 04:49 PM
You know, there's an untapped television market for UFO humor. Imagine a quirky, weekly TV show on the WB or CBS or FOX or something, about a gang of cooky intergalactic space aliens who run into all sorts of hijinks and misadventures in their travels over earth. Imagine some of them getting addicted to human entertainment or vices. I don't know about you, but a bunch of aliens sitting around getting high sounds like great comedy to me. Watch them crash a UFO convention in their own skin and pass for nerds in costume!

Simplex3
01-23-2007, 04:53 PM
You know, there's an untapped television market for UFO humor.
That untapped market is only the group of you who haven't tapped a girl.

Count Zarth
01-23-2007, 04:56 PM
That untapped market is only the group of you who haven't tapped a girl.
http://img226.imageshack.us/img226/1435/tap4vd.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

scott free
01-23-2007, 05:00 PM
Another thing i find interesting is ancient art, from cave paintings up until, lets say the 1700's. People who had no idea what a flying craft was, nonetheless depicted them time & again.

One that's particularly interesting is a wood carving from 1500's Germany that represented what the entire town described as a battle between orbs & other craft of varying color.

If you dont know that flying craft are even possible, how do you come to depict one??

Fairplay
01-23-2007, 05:03 PM
You know, there's an untapped television market for UFO humor. Imagine a quirky, weekly TV show on the WB or CBS or FOX or something, about a gang of cooky intergalactic space aliens who run into all sorts of hijinks and misadventures in their travels over earth. Imagine some of them getting addicted to human entertainment or vices. I don't know about you, but a bunch of aliens sitting around getting high sounds like great comedy to me. Watch them crash a UFO convention in their own skin and pass for nerds in costume!



Thats a good idea actually.

There would be an endless amount of comedy writers could come up with.

scott free
01-23-2007, 05:18 PM
Sightings of unexplained objects at great altitude and traveling at high speeds in the vicinity of major US defense installations, are of such nature that they are not attributable to natural phenomena or known types of aerial vehicles. - Dr. H. Marshall Caldwell, former asst. director of the CIA's Office of Scientific Intelligence, in a Dec. 1952 memo to then Director of the CIA Gen. Walter B. Smith.

scott free
01-23-2007, 05:28 PM
Unknown objects are operating under intelligent control...it is imperative that we learn where UFO's come from and what their purpose is. Behind the scenes, high ranking Air Force officers are soberly concerned about UFO's. Through official secrecy and ridicule, citizens are led to believe that UFO's are nonsense. - Vice Admiral Roscoe H. Hillenkoetter, former director of the CIA '47-'50.

Count Zarth
01-23-2007, 05:43 PM
"There's, too many of them!"

"Lost Tiree, lost Hutch...it came from behind!"

Simplex3
01-23-2007, 05:47 PM
...it came from behind!"
Man, if I had a dollar for every time you said that to your boyfriend...

Fish
01-23-2007, 05:48 PM
We're here to steal your pornography, and sodomize our vast imaginations.

-Ignignot

http://img235.exs.cx/img235/8236/ignignot9qj.gif

FAX
01-25-2007, 05:06 PM
Heads up and tin foil hats to the ready!!

There's a documentary on the discovery channel right now about a blood-sucking alien in South America. They think it might be entering and exiting this world via some sort of dimensional doorway or two-way turnstile of intergalactic terror.

FAX

Count Zarth
01-25-2007, 05:07 PM
Heads up and tin foil hats to the ready!!

There's a documentary on the discovery channel right now about a blood-sucking alien in South America. They think it might be entering and exiting this world via some sort of dimensional doorway or two-way turnstile of intergalactic terror.

FAX

Tuning in! Hot damn!

FAX
01-25-2007, 05:18 PM
Wow. 300 killings in one town in Puerto Rico. They say people are panicked. Whatever it is, this thing is a badass.

According to eyewitnesses, the thing has scales on its back, legs like a kangaroo, powerful smell.

FAX

Count Zarth
01-25-2007, 05:23 PM
"Have you ever wondered what aliens eat for supper?"

scott free
01-25-2007, 06:43 PM
Wow. 300 killings in one town in Puerto Rico. They say people are panicked. Whatever it is, this thing is a badass.

According to eyewitnesses, the thing has scales on its back, legs like a kangaroo, powerful smell.

FAX

Nah, every single one of those people are delusional & possibly in need of psychiatric care, we all know that dogs & wolves are capable of producing cauterized wounds with laser surgery precision...

Nevermind the 100's of American ranchers who find their cattle carved up every single year.

Some say its the gubment, i say the gubment has PLENTY of cows to do with as they please without going to the middle of nowhere in rough conditions to do it.

Anyone interested should go to www.nidsci.org & take a look at their animal pathology section & then ponder how many animals wield laser scalpels.

Count Zarth
01-25-2007, 06:51 PM
Probably just a bunch of freaks perpetrating a hoax.

Cochise
01-25-2007, 07:11 PM
"I just flew in from Zyrodantyl, and boy are my arms tired!"

scott free
01-25-2007, 07:13 PM
"I just flew in from Zyrodantyl, and boy are my arms tired!"

BA-DUM-BUMP--CHING

Mackey on drums everybody!!!

boogblaster
01-25-2007, 09:11 PM
Buck-toothed scaley-bunger australian-monster-rabbit-legs pungent-order sounds like Hootie finally scored with Huard ...

mikey23545
01-25-2007, 09:17 PM
All of you just need to go on about your daily business....

scott free
01-25-2007, 09:23 PM
All of you just need to go on about your daily business....

An appropriately cryptic remark from a guy with your avatar, i bet you work for the gubment.

Rausch
01-25-2007, 09:26 PM
I think a small percentage of what people describe as UFO's are real.

I think, somewhere out there, there is alien life.

I do not think that what we've described as UFO's are necessarily alien life...

scott free
01-25-2007, 09:33 PM
I think a small percentage of what people describe as UFO's are real.



Probably less than 10%, yet that leaves 1000's of unexplainable sightings in the modern age alone.

Smed1065
01-25-2007, 09:35 PM
Another thing i find interesting is ancient art, from cave paintings up until, lets say the 1700's. People who had no idea what a flying craft was, nonetheless depicted them time & again.

One that's particularly interesting is a wood carving from 1500's Germany that represented what the entire town described as a battle between orbs & other craft of varying color.

If you dont know that flying craft are even possible, how do you come to depict one??

Good drugs?

ChiefaRoo
01-25-2007, 10:14 PM
"Have you ever wondered what aliens eat for supper?"

I have.

What if the first advanced beings we met were Cephalopods (you know squid/octopus). We invite them to dinner to discuss future relations and how our two civilizations can get along and when the waiter brings out calamari...... they get pissed and blow up Earth.

Or it could work the other way around and they invite us over for dinner and they bring out little 12" tall fried protohumans in olive oil.

Guru
01-25-2007, 10:17 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e7/MorkMindy.jpg/250px-MorkMindy.jpg"Na-Nu Na-Nu"
Shaz-bot!

ChiefaRoo
01-25-2007, 10:21 PM
Shaz-bot!

Exactly.......what?

Rausch
01-25-2007, 11:47 PM
Probably less than 10%, yet that leaves 1000's of unexplainable sightings in the modern age alone.

But due to Hawking's research in to singularities and Tachyon science they're every bit as likely time travelers as little green men.

Hell, more likely.

Pretty simple really. You need strong gravitation to warp time as you wish. But even small collisions in tests at CERN have done as much (warped time and created strong gravitational forces through particle collisions), and are rumored to be able to "reproduce black hole physics" if the numbers are crunched correctly for micro-collisions.

If you abandon string theory and only concentrate on "imaginary time" a legitimate and scientifically proven method for time travel is already a known fact.

Would the US of A use such a technology to ensure it's status as no 1 on the food chain?

I sure as fug hope so...

ChiefaRoo
01-26-2007, 01:52 PM
But due to Hawking's research in to singularities and Tachyon science they're every bit as likely time travelers as little green men.

Hell, more likely.

Pretty simple really. You need strong gravitation to warp time as you wish. But even small collisions in tests at CERN have done as much (warped time and created strong gravitational forces through particle collisions), and are rumored to be able to "reproduce black hole physics" if the numbers are crunched correctly for micro-collisions.

If you abandon string theory and only concentrate on "imaginary time" a legitimate and scientifically proven method for time travel is already a known fact.

Would the US of A use such a technology to ensure it's status as no 1 on the food chain?

I sure as fug hope so...

If skip was here he'd think your talking about String cheese and he'd call you stupid for talking about it.