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FAX
02-14-2007, 03:43 PM
Here's the sad situation. I spoke with an old friend of mine from LA earlier today. We were following up because he and his wife had a baby this weekend and I needed his address.

Well, as it happens, the baby is ugly as hell.

This is bad enough but, based on what my friend explained, the darn thing looks nothing like him. He assures me without any doubt or hesitation that the child is his, but the monster possesses none of his recognizable features. So, here's the problem.

His wife had plastic surgery before they met. He knew she had some work done (nose, chin, some eye stuff, etc.), but apparently she was one ugly, deformed cow before he met her. Now, her ugly ass genes have been passed along to this unfortunate young "person".

I'm interested in knowing if he can sue this woman for misrepresentation. If she looked anything like this malformed offspring, he would never have married her, that's certain.

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.

Iowanian
02-14-2007, 03:47 PM
Her flowing locks of golden hair
her Ample boosom perked in the air.
She's now with child and fat again
The Child looks like Chubaca's twin.

The doctors clipped her big ears down
sawed off her buck teeth
replaced with crowns.
Her nose is now, half its size
the lazy gone from both her eyes.

The birth of his child
a thing to see.
It looks like it fell
from the ugly tree.

She looks good now
but not fantastic
its no wonder the kids ugly
the mother is plastic.

He should have checked deeper
his delve into this mystery
He's lucky a penis
wasn't part of her history.

StcChief
02-14-2007, 03:50 PM
10 fingers/10 toes, Healthy let it be.

Rooster
02-14-2007, 03:51 PM
I'm not sure FAX. If it was known that she had work done before they married he may not have a chance.

However, if he can establish that she knowingly down played her previous 'deformed cow' looks he might be able to prove 'excessive misrepresentation' which by luck is only illegal in CA.

What an unfortunate situation and one that I have never even thought of or considered until now.

seclark
02-14-2007, 03:55 PM
Her flowing locks of golden hair
her Ample boosom perked in the air.
She's now with child and fat again
The Child looks like Chubaca's twin.

The doctors clipped her big ears down
sawed off her buck teeth
replaced with crowns.
Her nose is now, half its size
the lazy gone from both her eyes.

The birth of his child
a thing to see.
It looks like it fell
from the ugly tree.

She looks good now
but not fantastic
its no wonder the kids ugly
the mother is plastic.

He should have checked deeper
his delve into this mystery
He's lucky a penis
wasn't part of her history.

nowadays
the saying goes
before you get married
flick your bic to her nose

FAX
02-14-2007, 03:55 PM
10 fingers/10 toes, Healthy let it be.

My sentiments as well, Mr. StcChief. Count your blessings, you know.

He's pretty upset, though. I'm sure he'll get over it. And, even ugly little babies need love. But, I was curious about whether or not a person could or should be called to account legally for re-packaging themselves and not disclosing that fact prior to agreeing on having children.

FAX

Baby Lee
02-14-2007, 03:59 PM
Rent expectations,
bundle of joy, Gochiefsesque,
life with Sasquatch pends.

Bearcat
02-14-2007, 04:03 PM
Wow.

htismaqe
02-14-2007, 04:10 PM
There was a caller on Mancow the other day that got divorced and afterwards his ex-wife got a sex change. Now she calls him on a regular basis to remind him that he's gay.

Mr. Plow
02-14-2007, 04:15 PM
Here's the sad situation. I spoke with an old friend of mine from LA earlier today. We were following up because he and his wife had a baby this weekend and I needed his address.

Well, as it happens, the baby is ugly as hell.

This is bad enough but, based on what my friend explained, the darn thing looks nothing like him. He assures me without any doubt or hesitation that the child is his, but the monster possesses none of his recognizable features. So, here's the problem.

His wife had plastic surgery before they met. He knew she had some work done (nose, chin, some eye stuff, etc.), but apparently she was one ugly, deformed cow before he met her. Now, her ugly ass genes have been passed along to this unfortunate young "person".

I'm interested in knowing if he can sue this woman for misrepresentation. If she looked anything like this malformed offspring, he would never have married her, that's certain.

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.

Can't the baby just wear a hat?

dirk digler
02-14-2007, 04:16 PM
There was a caller on Mancow the other day that got divorced and afterwards his ex-wife got a sex change. Now she calls him on a regular basis to remind him that he's gay.

LMAO

Fax did your friend happen to see any baby pictures of his wife or any pictures when she was younger?

Radar Chief
02-14-2007, 04:19 PM
Pour Rogaine over it daily. Then when it’s ‘bout two y.o., go buy a funny hat, tin cup, an organ grinder and go hit the street.
Make the best of it. ;)

Iowanian
02-14-2007, 04:20 PM
He promised to love her,
for better or worse
never saw her without makeup
and now he feels cursed.

It must have been part
of her evil plan
she knew she resembled
if burned in a fire, the Elephant man

nipped and tucked
her face and body
beatiful plastic replaced
her gargoil like body.

No lawsuit required
in this marital case.
its not her fault she looked like
a neck puked a face.

Love it and hug it
from nightime til dawn
If he's lucky this duckling
might turn into a swan.

CoMoChief
02-14-2007, 04:20 PM
You can sue anyone for almost anything these days, especially in CA.

FAX
02-14-2007, 04:22 PM
LMAO

Fax did your friend happen to see any baby pictures of his wife or any pictures when she was younger?

That's a good question, Mr. dirk digler, but I didn't ask him that. I will, though.

Actually, I didn't know what to say at the time. He was just sort of ranting about this whole situation and I was, frankly, somewhat at a loss for words. I mean, what do you say? "I'm sorry your new baby is butt ugly and your wife is too except she had that fixed but life goes on?"

We're talking about LA here. It's a non-traditional situation in the sense that they weren't high school sweethearts or anything like that. He feels tricked and now he has a circus baby. It's pretty crazy.

FAX

FAX
02-14-2007, 04:23 PM
Do you mind if I have those poems printed up, Mr. Iowanian?

Might make good announcements.

FAX

dirk digler
02-14-2007, 04:24 PM
That's a good question, Mr. dirk digler, but I didn't ask him that. I will, though.

Actually, I didn't know what to say at the time. He was just sort of ranting about this whole situation and I was, frankly, somewhat at a loss for words. I mean, what do you say? "I'm sorry your new baby is butt ugly and your wife is too except she had that fixed but life goes on?"

We're talking about LA here. It's a non-traditional situation in the sense that they weren't high school sweethearts or anything like that. He feels tricked and now he has a circus baby. It's pretty crazy.

FAX

Ask him if he met her mother though she probably has had work done as well.

Pitt Gorilla
02-14-2007, 04:24 PM
There was a national story exactly like this a few months ago. I don't know how it turned out, though.

Iowanian
02-14-2007, 04:25 PM
Sure.

I want residuals if they turn into a book.

Baby Lee
02-14-2007, 04:29 PM
Do you mind if I have those poems printed up, Mr. Iowanian?

Might make good announcements.

FAX
Hear ye!! Hear ye!! My plastic spouse just pooped out Clint Howard.

FAX
02-14-2007, 04:29 PM
There was a national story exactly like this a few months ago. I don't know how it turned out, though.

Now that I think about it, based on the prevalence of cosmetic surgery, this sort of thing probably happens quite a bit, Mr. Pitt Gorilla.

I've never seen or heard of this before, though. After considering the situation I think that, mainly, his feelings are hurt because he really didn't know her as well as he thought.

It's a shocking revelation in the form of an heir.

FAX

Iowanian
02-14-2007, 04:32 PM
Hear ye!! Hear ye!! My plastic spouse just pooped out Clint Howard.

Oh noes.....awesome.


For some reason I feel like this should be a Mad TV skit.

"Lowered expecaaaaaaa aa tions"

ChiefaRoo
02-14-2007, 04:37 PM
Ugly kids need love too or they grow up and act like skip.

Baby Lee
02-14-2007, 04:38 PM
Oh noes.....awesome.
To be fair, it doesn't rhyme. But I think it gets the point across.

CoMoChief
02-14-2007, 04:39 PM
They better hope this ugly kid is at least smart as hell.

HonestChieffan
02-14-2007, 04:54 PM
It is clearly misrepresentation on the womans part. But I would suspect that the husband will bear some responsibility for not doing a complete background check. In football terms we have offsetting penalties.

The bright side is that Circus' worldwide need talent and perhaps they could work through a gypsy to market this opportunity.

Smed1065
02-14-2007, 04:55 PM
There was a national story exactly like this a few months ago. I don't know how it turned out, though.

I thought this was a repost or a joke because I read about that as well.


:hmmm:

FAX
02-14-2007, 05:02 PM
I thought this was a repost or a joke because I read about that as well.


:hmmm:

Nope. Neither, Mr. smed1065. We now know someone who is actually in this situation.

And, it ain't pretty.

FAX

HemiEd
02-14-2007, 05:06 PM
Fax, this is ironic.
A very close friend of mine has had two children, both the ugliest babies you could ever imagine.
They had disproportionate features, Pumpkin heads, the whole deal.

You would look at the kid and have to strain to lie about how cute each one was. It is obligatory you know, when viewing someones new baby.

Now, they are 13 and 9, beautiful kids just like their parents.

Baby Lee
02-14-2007, 05:10 PM
Now, they are 13 and 9, beautiful kids just like their parents.
Their parents are kids?

bogie
02-14-2007, 05:12 PM
Tell your friend that beauty is skin deep.

HemiEd
02-14-2007, 05:14 PM
Their parents are kids?

dangit!

HonestChieffan
02-14-2007, 05:15 PM
Think of all the really ugly people who have been successful. Mike Shannahan had to be a hideous child.

FAX
02-14-2007, 05:27 PM
It isn't really about the child, Mr. HemiEd and Mr. HonestChieffan. The way I'm interpreting his reaction, it's more about this wierd realization that the woman he married was a goon and she didn't tell him she was a goon until she had a baby goon.

I think it's a matter of trust. Or, a case where L'amore becomes a dark, murky L'goon.

FAX

BIG_DADDY
02-14-2007, 05:32 PM
Think of all the really ugly people who have been successful. Mike Shannahan had to be a hideous child.

Think of all the real ugly people who are not successful.

RJ
02-14-2007, 05:34 PM
Fax, tell your buddy to look on the bright side. If he gets an accordion and a leash and a little red suit they can get started on the college fund right away.

HonestChieffan
02-14-2007, 05:36 PM
You didnt say it was a goon in the original post. I take back my posts and need to consider legal goonism.

New data is alway appreciated.

kepp
02-14-2007, 05:36 PM
Much like a good ham, babies need a few months to cure. Tell your friend to take a step back from the lawyer and wait a while.

RJ
02-14-2007, 05:37 PM
By the way, is the wife currently in the "hottie" category, or merely passable?

"Bob" Dobbs
02-14-2007, 05:41 PM
I think it's a matter of trust. Or, a case where L'amore becomes a dark, murky L'goon.

FAX

Great. NOW I have Pepsi all over my monitor. Thanks a lot. ROFL

FAX
02-14-2007, 05:44 PM
By the way, is the wife currently in the "hottie" category, or merely passable?

Never met her, Mr. RJ. I haven't seen this person for a few years. He's an old friend from my LA period. But knowing this guy, it's a reasonably safe bet she would be in the hottie zone (post surgery). I can't imagine him being attracted to or marrying a non-hottie type.

I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons he's going a little crazy over this. She was a goon in disguise. Like the whole frog/prince deal in reverse.

FAX

boogblaster
02-14-2007, 05:45 PM
Simple cure..move to Arkansas get at least a 4th grade education..run for Governor..next thing you know you'll be in the White-House...

RJ
02-14-2007, 05:47 PM
I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons he's going a little crazy over this. She was a goon in disguise. Like the whole frog/prince deal in reverse.

FAX



So when this chick says she's going to "put on her face", she really means it. Like a good-looking Mrs. Potato Head.

Phobia
02-14-2007, 06:15 PM
I don't have any cute poems or wisdom but I will share this. My sister-in-law's kid was born with really tiny breasts.

RJ
02-14-2007, 06:17 PM
I don't have any cute poems or wisdom but I will share this. My sister-in-law's kid was born with really tiny breasts.


Ahhhhh....say no more.

Easy 6
02-14-2007, 06:36 PM
Much like a good ham, babies need a few months to cure. Tell your friend to take a step back from the lawyer and wait a while.

EXACTLY.

I would bet that any judge worth his salt would laugh your pal outta the courtroom. Babies are scrunched up little aliens at first & dont look like either parent for awhile.

No offense FAX , because your one of my faves here but i think your friend is being INCREDIBLY shallow.

Phobia
02-14-2007, 06:46 PM
No offense FAX , because your one of my faves here but i think your friend is being INCREDIBLY shallow.

Shallow is one of my character flaws as well. Fortunately my wife hasn't had any work done unless you count the 12 times a year when she has her teeth filed into fangs.

Easy 6
02-14-2007, 06:55 PM
Fortunately my wife hasn't had any work done unless you count the 12 times a year when she has her teeth filed into fangs.

:PPL: ... 12 weeks of unchecked, irrational emotion as pure as a Rocky Mountain stream.

Phobia
02-14-2007, 07:09 PM
FWIW, I have no personal issue with cosmetic surgery. I think it's an amazing medical development. I'll certainly encourage my wife (and probably work my butt off paying for it) to have work as gravity takes its toll on her body. I think that many women destroy their bodies with breast augmentations that are out of control and I also can't stand lumpy lips, but whatever.

Skip Towne
02-14-2007, 07:33 PM
EXACTLY.

I would bet that any judge worth his salt would laugh your pal outta the courtroom. Babies are scrunched up little aliens at first & dont look like either parent for awhile.

No offense FAX , because your one of my faves here but i think your friend is being INCREDIBLY shallow.
Finally somebody said it. Babies are incredibly ugly little creatures. Most of whom resemble Winston Churchill.

RJ
02-14-2007, 07:41 PM
Finally somebody said it. Babies are incredibly ugly little creatures. Most of whom resemble Winston Churchill.


Sure, other people's babies are ugly but this dude is talking about his own kid. You know this little cretin has got to be seriously flawed.

Easy 6
02-14-2007, 07:48 PM
Sure, other people's babies are ugly but this dude is talking about his own kid. You know this little cretin has got to be seriously flawed.

IMO, the flaw is with the dad. Like Skip & others have said, babies are CRAZY lookin' little creatures who dont look like anybody at all.

This guy needs to be overjoyed with a healthy little Jr., not contemplating LEGAL action over its looks.

I just dont get it.

kepp
02-14-2007, 07:48 PM
Sure, other people's babies are ugly but this dude is talking about his own kid. You know this little cretin has got to be seriously flawed.
This thread reminds me of the "Ugly Baby" Seinfeld episode.

ENDelt260
02-14-2007, 07:57 PM
There was a caller on Mancow the other day that got divorced and afterwards his ex-wife got a sex change. Now she calls him on a regular basis to remind him that he's gay.
Christ, Mancow's still on the air?

And... people are listening to him?

Rain Man
02-14-2007, 07:57 PM
If the wife's plastic surgeon is good enough to turn her from a hideous misshapen creature to someone he was willing to impregnate while fantasizing about Halle Berry, then the surgeon should be good enough to fix up the kid, too. Problem solved.

RJ
02-14-2007, 09:12 PM
If the wife's plastic surgeon is good enough to turn her from a hideous misshapen creature to someone he was willing to impregnate while fantasizing about Halle Berry, then the surgeon should be good enough to fix up the kid, too. Problem solved.



I gotta hand it to you, your problem solving skills are off the charts.

KCChiefsMan
02-14-2007, 09:24 PM
name the kid Sue and maybe he will grow up to be a badass.....if it's girl, hmmmm.... :hmmm:

Bowser
02-14-2007, 10:03 PM
Hopefully the world turns all Gattaca-like before long.

FAX
02-15-2007, 01:11 PM
... i think your friend is being INCREDIBLY shallow.

I don't disagree with you, Mr. scott free. As I've mentioned, my first reaction was to count your blessings and remember that, in some cultures, it is believed that children choose their parents. I think that has something to do with the 6th chakra, if I'm not mistaken.

Here's the situation though.

1. Man meets hot girl. Has great face? Check. Has great body? Check.

2. Man marries hot girl. Got ring? Check. Got tickets to Puerto Rico? Check.

3. Man has baby with hot girl. Baby healthy? Check. Baby looks like outer space being? Check.

4. Man somehow learns (this is the really interesting part to me) that girl had plastic surgery and wasn't really hot to begin with.

5. Man feels lied to and betrayed by hot/ugly girl.

So, the child isn't the issue. It's the fact that what he thought was hot was not.

FAX

htismaqe
02-15-2007, 01:15 PM
Christ, Mancow's still on the air?

And... people are listening to him?

It comes down to listening to Mancow or the Border Patrol. You decide.

Baby Lee
02-15-2007, 01:18 PM
So, the child isn't the issue. It's the fact that what he thought was hot was not.

FAX
'You haven't been hot your whole life?!' has to be the most insipid marital quarrel I've ever heard of.

FAX
02-15-2007, 01:21 PM
'You haven't been hot your whole life?!' has to be the
most insipid marital quarrel I've ever heard of.

ROFL

I've heard worse.

What I think is interesting about this is imagining the conversation that brought all this to light, Mr. Baby Lee. I mean, how did it come up? Did the guy look at the baby and say, "What the heck is this? Did you have plastic surgery or something?"

FAX

NewChief
02-15-2007, 01:21 PM
'You haven't been hot your whole life?!' has to be the most insipid marital quarrel I've ever heard of.

No kidding. And you gotta wonder... did dude never see any freaking pictures from the girl's pre-surgery life? I mean... meeting the family, flipping through photo albums, that's like a damned rite of passage pre-marriage.

I'm still having a hard time believing that this isn't some weird joke post.

htismaqe
02-15-2007, 01:24 PM
'You haven't been hot your whole life?!' has to be the most insipid marital quarrel I've ever heard of.

"you've got the whole day off and you can't shovel some snow?" is right up there...

Baby Lee
02-15-2007, 01:27 PM
ROFL

I've heard worse.
Color me intrigued. . .

What I think is interesting about this is imagining the conversation that brought all this to light, Mr. Baby Lee. I mean, how did it come up? Did the guy look at the baby and say, "What the heck is this? Did you have plastic surgery or something?"

FAX
I'm picturing something in the vein of a Family Guy bit.
Stewie looking at some goon baby, then back the mom, then back . . . then back.

What the deuce!! Did? . . . did you? Were you once? . . . YOU USED TO BE UGLY!!!!

HonestChieffan
02-15-2007, 01:27 PM
Baby may be the next Yoda and he did great.

FAX
02-15-2007, 01:28 PM
No kidding. And you gotta wonder... did dude never see any freaking pictures from the girl's pre-surgery life? I mean... meeting the family, flipping through photo albums, that's like a damned rite of passage pre-marriage.

I'm still having a hard time believing that this isn't some weird joke post.

Look. I'm sorry that I didn't ask all these questions at the time, Mr. NewChief. I really am. As I've said, this actually happened and took me by surprise. It wasn't the discussion I was expecting so I was caught unprepared and couldn't quickly locate my stockpiled inventory of "didn't you check her out beforehand" interrogatories. LA is a transient society and isn't like a lot of places where you know everyone's family, etc.

Besides, when he started telling me this, all I wanted to do was ask him to send pictures but I thought that might fuel the fire.

FAX

Easy 6
02-15-2007, 01:29 PM
I don't disagree with you, Mr. scott free. As I've mentioned, my first reaction was to count your blessings and remember that, in some cultures, it is believed that children choose their parents. I think that has something to do with the 6th chakra, if I'm not mistaken.

Here's the situation though.

1. Man meets hot girl. Has great face? Check. Has great body? Check.

2. Man marries hot girl. Got ring? Check. Got tickets to Puerto Rico? Check.

3. Man has baby with hot girl. Baby healthy? Check. Baby looks like outer space being? Check.

4. Man somehow learns (this is the really interesting part to me) that girl had plastic surgery and wasn't really hot to begin with.

5. Man feels lied to and betrayed by hot/ugly girl.

So, the child isn't the issue. It's the fact that what he thought was hot was not.

FAX

I'm willing to bet that in a few months your pal will wonder what in the heck he was thinking.

I mean, plastic surgery is pretty amazing these days, but i still dont think they can take Phyllis Diller & turn her into Michelle Pfeiffer.

She couldnt have been THAT bad pre-surgery.

FAX
02-15-2007, 01:34 PM
I'm willing to bet that in a few months your pal will wonder what in the heck he was thinking.

I mean, plastic surgery is pretty amazing these days, but i still dont think they can take Phyllis Diller & turn her into Michelle Pfeiffer.

She couldnt have been THAT bad pre-surgery.

I did ask him about that. He said she had nose, chin and "some eye stuff", Mr. scott free. That's pretty much the whole, entire face of a person.

It's amazing what a normal girl would look like if you took away her chin and gave her a really big nose.

FAX

FAX
02-15-2007, 01:37 PM
"you've got the whole day off and you can't shovel some snow?" is right up there...

ROFL

I think "You've got herpes?" is in the insipid marital argument hall of fame.

FAX

Easy 6
02-15-2007, 01:39 PM
It's amazing what a normal girl would look like if you took away her chin and gave her a really big nose.

FAX

Thats true.