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View Full Version : So Jesus, Mohammed, and a Rabbi walk into a bar


Ultra Peanut
02-20-2007, 02:26 PM
Inside, they run into L. Ron Hubbard.

Jesus distracts him by performing a miracle, while the Rabbi steals his wallet.

Mohammed then shoots Hubbard in the leg for being a douchebag.

Together, they throw him outside, then proceed to get totally shitfaced as the night goes on.

Hubbard returns with a posse of lawyers.

At this point, Buddha is three sheets to the wind. He leaps from the third story window, landing on Hubbard and the team of lawyers.

Krishna laughs his ass off and orders another White Russian.

The end.

Reaper16
02-20-2007, 02:40 PM
I'm complaining.

Sully
02-20-2007, 02:40 PM
I'm complaining.

Beat you to it. How dare someone use a bar as the setting for such a joke.

HolmeZz
02-20-2007, 02:42 PM
Jesus would drink Mohamed under the table.

Reaper16
02-20-2007, 02:44 PM
Jesus would drink Mohamed under the table.
Hell yeah, he would. Christ can make wine anytime he wants, so of course, he practices.

greg63
02-20-2007, 02:45 PM
Inside, they run into L. Ron Hubbard.

Jesus distracts him by performing a miracle, while the Rabbi steals his wallet.

Mohammed then shoots Hubbard in the leg for being a douchebag.

Together, they throw him outside, then proceed to get totally shitfaced as the night goes on.

Hubbard returns with a posse of lawyers.

At this point, Buddha is three sheets to the wind. He leaps from the third story window, landing on Hubbard and the team of lawyers.

Krishna laughs his ass off and orders another White Russian.

The end.

I'm assuming that this is a reaction to something. :shake:

crazycoffey
02-20-2007, 02:46 PM
I'm assuming that this is a reaction to something. :shake:

the muslim cab driver thread.

greg63
02-20-2007, 02:50 PM
the muslim cab driver thread.

OIC

Ultra Peanut
02-20-2007, 02:54 PM
In summation:

- Jesus is a cool guy.
- Jews are greedy.
- Muslims are ****ing crazy.
- Scientologists are litigious douchebags.
- Buddha was fat.
- Vishnu is a bit of a drunk.

vailpass
02-20-2007, 02:55 PM
I'm assuming that this is a reaction to something. :shake:

Yep. He's mad at the Lord for giving him an "outy" instead of an "inny".

crazycoffey
02-20-2007, 02:56 PM
In summation:

- Jesus is a cool guy.
- Jews are greedy.
- Muslims are ****ing crazy.
- Scientologists are litigious douchebags.
- Buddha was fat.
- Vishnu is a bit of a drunk.


don't forget that UP is a smartass......:p

Pitt Gorilla
02-20-2007, 02:57 PM
Yep. He's mad at the Lord for giving him an "outy" instead of an "inny".Which Lord? Did you read the OP?

greg63
02-20-2007, 02:59 PM
In summation:

- Jesus is a cool guy.
- Jews are greedy.
- Muslims are ****ing crazy.
- Scientologists are litigious douchebags.
- Buddha was fat.
- Vishnu is a bit of a drunk.

Thanks for the run down; I visited that thread and simply just didn't have the inclination wade through it all.

Reaper16
02-20-2007, 03:02 PM
Yep. He's mad at the Lord for giving him an "outy" instead of an "inny".
I'm mad at the lord for making you a dumbshit.

Ultra Peanut
02-20-2007, 03:04 PM
I'm mad at the lord for making you a dumbshit.God's happy little accident.

Radar Chief
02-20-2007, 03:11 PM
You trying to tell me Jesus canít hit a curve ball?

vailpass
02-20-2007, 03:50 PM
I'm mad at the lord for making you a dumbshit.

Bang! LMAO

Adept Havelock
02-20-2007, 04:11 PM
Hell yeah, he would. Christ can make wine anytime he wants, so of course, he practices.

ROFL

Hey, is this stuff really the blood of Christ? Man, that guy must have been loaded all the time!

gblowfish
02-20-2007, 04:39 PM
"Vishnu?"




"Nothing."







"Vishnu with you?"

38yrsfan
02-20-2007, 05:07 PM
"Vishnu?"




"Nothing."







"Vishnu with you?"


Gesundheit

Baby Lee
02-20-2007, 05:27 PM
Inside, they run into L. Ron Hubbard.

Jesus distracts him by performing a miracle, while the Rabbi steals his wallet.

Mohammed then shoots Hubbard in the leg for being a douchebag.

Together, they throw him outside, then proceed to get totally shitfaced as the night goes on.

Hubbard returns with a posse of lawyers.

At this point, Buddha is three sheets to the wind. He leaps from the third story window, landing on Hubbard and the team of lawyers.

Krishna laughs his ass off and orders another White Russian.

The end.
http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/touchstone_pictures/confessions_of_a_teenage_drama_queen/lindsay_lohan/queen10.jpg

vailpass
02-20-2007, 05:51 PM
http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/touchstone_pictures/confessions_of_a_teenage_drama_queen/lindsay_lohan/queen10.jpg

A-ha, yep.

Fairplay
02-20-2007, 06:08 PM
Christ can make wine anytime he wants, so of course, he practices.



I always thought this was funny, interesting and strange that Jesus making water into wine was (from what i was taught) the first recorded miracle he did by the apostles.

Ultra Peanut
02-20-2007, 06:28 PM
http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/touchstone_pictures/confessions_of_a_teenage_drama_queen/lindsay_lohan/queen10.jpgHow so?

Reaper16
02-20-2007, 06:33 PM
Prom queen? Pretty Princess? I don't get it.

SNR
02-20-2007, 06:36 PM
That story has one flaw. Krishna IS the white russian just as the white russian is one drop in the body of water that is Krishna.

Ultra Peanut
02-20-2007, 06:37 PM
That story has one flaw. Krishna IS the white russian just as the white russian is one drop in the body of water that is Krishna.Why do you hate the Jews?

SNR
02-20-2007, 06:56 PM
Why do you hate the Jews?
Because (http://www.derrickcomedy.com/spellingbee.htm) (NSFW)

HolmeZz
02-20-2007, 07:09 PM
Prom queen? Pretty Princess? I don't get it.

"confessions of a teenage drama queen"

Adept Havelock
02-20-2007, 08:18 PM
Why do you hate the Jews?

Because....

.

Ultra Peanut
02-20-2007, 09:45 PM
time ta throw down

http://imgred.com/http://files.myopera.com/velmu/blog/hammerzeit.jpg

Jenson71
02-20-2007, 10:11 PM
Stalin, Kruschev, Brezhnev, and Gorbachev are riding in a train across Siberia. The train comes to a sudden halt. Stalin, being the tough ol boy that he is, goes to the front of the train.

"What's the problem here?" he bellows to the conductor.

"I...I don't know!" cries out the conductor. Stalin, of course, won't accept that as an answer. He has the plan - take the conductor out and shoot him.

So with the conductor now dead, Stalin goes to sit back down. But the train, obviously still isn't moving.

"Comrades," pipes in Brezhnev. "I have an idea! Let's just pull down the shades and pretend the train is moving."


The end.