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Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 07:03 PM
Usually at sporting events(Chiefs-Royals-Brigade games) me and friends usually tailgate and get pretty horny before the games... We've always gotten off before bowling tournaments also...

But I just don't find it fun anymore... I don't enjoy getting all screwed up and not having fun while inside watching the games... My bowling this year has gone to hell in a hand basket... I bet I've won half the money I did last year... I didn't use to masturbate during tournaments, but here lately I've indulged quite a bit.

I don't masturbate at home, and I bet I've been out to a peep show maybe 5 times in the last 10 years... So, I know I don't have a masturbating problem... I just have a "sports" jerking problem...

April is a big month... We're heading to Springfield to bowl in a pretty big tournament... The guys going with me are party fools !!!! I think I'll be designated fluffer that weekend !!!!

Anyone else on here just seem to masturbate mostly during sporting events and not at home ???

PinkFloyd
02-25-2007, 07:04 PM
HAR-HAR....





Hope you don't kill anyone doing that while driving !!!


:p

Skip Towne
02-25-2007, 07:08 PM
So now even you find you too repulsive to have sex with?

Bill Parcells
02-25-2007, 07:09 PM
I have just the site for you GC..some evil webmaster that I know made this site just for you (http://www.adultsheepfinder.com/)

Dr. Facebook Fever
02-25-2007, 07:10 PM
I don't know if I've ever laughed that hard at a post before....


:clap:

Sully
02-25-2007, 07:10 PM
I'm done masturbating.....












...for today

BWillie
02-25-2007, 07:11 PM
Do you beat off to Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader?

Sully
02-25-2007, 07:11 PM
......maybe

Deberg_1990
02-25-2007, 07:12 PM
I think the bigger question here is why you are getting so horny at sporting events hanging around a bunch of other guys???

Fairplay
02-25-2007, 07:17 PM
I think the bigger question here is why you are getting so horny at sporting events hanging around a bunch of other guys???



My first thought. Plus sporting events with all male participants to boot.

RJ
02-25-2007, 07:22 PM
Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward being cured.

Bwana
02-25-2007, 07:24 PM
Your left hand, AKA your date kicked you to the curb didn't it?

milkman
02-25-2007, 07:24 PM
I think the bigger question here is why you are getting so horny at sporting events hanging around a bunch of other guys???

It's GoChiefs.

That's not a question.

Sully
02-25-2007, 07:25 PM
Here's the thing... if it's the "stranger" is it actually you doing it?

RJ
02-25-2007, 07:28 PM
One nice thing about masturbation is it's easy to know when you're done.

milkman
02-25-2007, 07:30 PM
One nice thing about masturbation is it's easy to know when you're done.

And you don't have to cuddle when you're done.

Fairplay
02-25-2007, 07:31 PM
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_zoMe2bfJxE"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_zoMe2bfJxE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

Sully
02-25-2007, 07:34 PM
You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that's the best part about the game.

luv
02-25-2007, 07:47 PM
HAR-HAR....





Hope you don't kill anyone doing that while driving !!!


:p
Is that the bowling tournament you're going to? :hmmm:

BucEyedPea
02-25-2007, 07:49 PM
I have just the site for you GC..some evil webmaster that I know made this site just for you (http://www.adultsheepfinder.com/)
http://www.adultsheepfinder.com/images/index_06.gif

ROFL ROFL

4th over is the horney one

BucEyedPea
02-25-2007, 07:52 PM
http://www.adultsheepfinder.com/images/index_10.gif

ROFL ROFL

PinkFloyd
02-25-2007, 08:00 PM
Is that the bowling tournament you're going to? :hmmm:


Mine is throwing a ball at pins ------- not at a penis....

Believer
02-25-2007, 08:40 PM
Usually at sporting events(Chiefs-Royals-Brigade games) me and friends usually tailgate and get pretty horny before the games... We've always gotten off before bowling tournaments also...

But I just don't find it fun anymore... I don't enjoy getting all screwed up and not having fun while inside watching the games... My bowling this year has gone to hell in a hand basket... I bet I've won half the money I did last year... I didn't use to masturbate during tournaments, but here lately I've indulged quite a bit.

I don't masturbate at home, and I bet I've been out to a peep show maybe 5 times in the last 10 years... So, I know I don't have a masturbating problem... I just have a "sports" jerking problem...

April is a big month... We're heading to Springfield to bowl in a pretty big tournament... The guys going with me are party fools !!!! I think I'll be designated fluffer that weekend !!!!

Anyone else on here just seem to masturbate mostly during sporting events and not at home ???

that GoChiefs masturbates doesnt surprise me. The fact that he does with a bunch of guys before, during, or after sporting events brings a whole new meaning to the term "tailgating". Hopefully condoms are being used.

Sully
02-25-2007, 08:43 PM
that GoChiefs masturbates doesnt surprise me. The fact that he does with a bunch of guys before, during, or after sporting events brings a whole new meaning to the term "tailgating". Hopefully condoms are being used.

Why would they need condoms?
Does someone need to explain masturbation to you?

ROFL :p

Gonzo
02-25-2007, 08:46 PM
I have just the site for you GC..some evil webmaster that I know made this site just for you (http://www.adultsheepfinder.com/)


You're all looking at the ugly one.

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 08:46 PM
that GoChiefs masturbates doesnt surprise me.

Are you saying you don't? It's a sin, you know.

Gonzo
02-25-2007, 08:47 PM
Go Chiefs is a true competetor...He always finishes 1st and 3rd at his circle-jerk tournaments.

Mr. Kotter
02-25-2007, 08:50 PM
Anyone else think Clayton's sister got to his 'puter....and logged-on to the Planet. :hmmm:

That'll teach you to skip the auto log-on feature.....heh.

That or someone has discovered his password.....ROFL

Sully
02-25-2007, 08:51 PM
Anyone else think Clayton's sister got to his 'puter....and logged-on to the Planet. :hmmm:

That'll teach you to dispense with the auto log-on feature.....heh.

That or someone has discovered his password.....ROFL

It's a parody thread.

Mr. Kotter
02-25-2007, 08:52 PM
It's a parody thread.

Ah...guess I missed it. :(

Sully
02-25-2007, 08:53 PM
Ah...guess I missed it. :(

Yeah... there's one called, "I'm Done Drinking"...

Believer
02-25-2007, 08:58 PM
Are you saying you don't? It's a sin, you know.

ive never done it with a group of other men. it probably doesnt stop there, such the advice of wearing your teeny tiny condom.

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 09:04 PM
ive never done it with a group of other men.

So do you pray for forgiveness after jerking it? :hmmm:

Sully
02-25-2007, 09:05 PM
So do you pray for forgiveness after jerking it? :hmmm:
I certainly don't agree with his theology, but he didn't bring it up in this thread...

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 09:09 PM
I certainly don't agree with his theology, but he didn't bring it up in this thread...

I'm here for you.

FDS
02-25-2007, 09:42 PM
Credit, much better than a "I just started masturbating" thread. That would be over the top in creepy.

PBJ FirstDownSamie PBJ

Believer
02-25-2007, 09:44 PM
So do you pray for forgiveness after jerking it? :hmmm:

why, are you getting "excited" just thinking about it? Or do you need a group of men around you when you get aroused?

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 09:46 PM
why, are you getting "excited" just thinking about it? Or do you need a group of men around you when you get aroused?

Answer my question.

FDS
02-25-2007, 09:48 PM
why, are you getting "excited" just thinking about it? Or do you need a group of men around you when you get aroused?


We should let him be. It could be the only nappy time he gets.

PBJ FirstDownSamie PBJ

Believer
02-25-2007, 09:48 PM
Answer my question.

or what, you'll climax? You brought the subject up, PeeWee.

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 09:49 PM
or what, you'll climax? You brought the subject up, PeeWee.

That's right. I brought it up, and I asked you a question. Answer it.

Thig Lyfe
02-25-2007, 09:52 PM
I don't know if I've ever laughed that hard at a post before....


:clap:


Give this thread (http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=3130651) a spin. I think you were still on hiatus back then.

Believer
02-25-2007, 09:52 PM
That's right. I brought it up, and I asked you a question. Answer it.

oooh, you ARE getting aroused. Im sorry, I cannot discuss topics of a spiritual nature to someone who is playing with himself while watching "Brokeback Mountain"

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 09:55 PM
I turned off Brokeback Mountain.

Are you going to answer my question?

Believer
02-25-2007, 09:57 PM
I turned off Brokeback Mountain.

Are you going to answer my question?

what do you care?

Ive already explained Sin and forgiveness and all that but you were too busy whacking off with your male friends in a parking lot to pictures of Tony Gonzalez.

Believer
02-25-2007, 09:58 PM
I turned off Brokeback Mountain.

Are you going to answer my question?

by the way, so why did you start watching Brokeback mountain in the first place? To get you going?

Sully
02-25-2007, 09:59 PM
I turned off Brokeback Mountain.

Are you going to answer my question?


Well, I tried to take up for him. But he brings it all on himself. I apologize.

|Zach|
02-25-2007, 09:59 PM
oooh, you ARE getting aroused. Im sorry, I cannot discuss topics of a spiritual nature to someone who is playing with himself while watching "Brokeback Mountain"
The list of people you have claimed you are "above" because of your spirituality is getting quite large.

Best of luck with that.

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 10:00 PM
what do you care?

I'm interested in just how far your theological nature extends.

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:03 PM
The list of people you have claimed you are "above" because of your spirituality is getting quite large.

Best of luck with that.

well, contrary to what you might believe, most people, even people on this website, dont make it a habit of masturbating with groups of other men before sporting events.

I may be wrong, but feel free to have at it Zach.

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 10:03 PM
well, contrary to what you might believe, most people, even people on this website, dont make it a habit of masturbating with groups of other men before sporting events.


My entire post was a joke. It wasn't serious.

|Zach|
02-25-2007, 10:04 PM
well, contrary to what you might believe, most people, even people on this website, dont make it a habit of masturbating with groups of other men before sporting events.

I may be wrong, but feel free to have at it Zach.
My comment has nothing to do with this thread.

It has everything to do with your pseudo christian values. All that aside, the fact that you take this thread seriously makes me question your intelligence. I will give you the benefit of the doubt...maybe your humor machine is broken?

Sully
02-25-2007, 10:04 PM
well, contrary to what you might believe, most people, even people on this website, dont make it a habit of masturbating with groups of other men before sporting events.

I may be wrong, but feel free to have at it Zach.

This thread was a parody. The joke is that you fell for it.

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:04 PM
I'm interested in just how far your theological nature extends.


i think you are hijacking your own thread. You keep wanting to talk about theology in a thread you started about your own Gay masturbation experiences at football games.

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:05 PM
My entire post was a joke. It wasn't serious.


sure, if you say so.

|Zach|
02-25-2007, 10:06 PM
sure, if you say so.
Translation: I went out of my way to be a complete idiot and put myself on a fake pedestal again. How can I back out of this thread without looking like an idiot.

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 10:07 PM
sure, if you say so.

Absolutely. Now, are you going to answer my question?

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:08 PM
My comment has nothing to do with this thread.

It has everything to do with your pseudo christian values. All that aside, the fact that you take this thread seriously makes me question your intelligence. I will give you the benefit of the doubt...maybe your humor machine is broken?

why are you so concerned about my christian values? i havent mentioned it once in this thread. ive kept it to GoChiefs masturbating addiction.

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:09 PM
Translation: I went out of my way to be a complete idiot and put myself on a fake pedestal again. How can I back out of this thread without looking like an idiot.

what ARE you talking about?? You guys are obsessed with Religion!

luv
02-25-2007, 10:10 PM
sure, if you say so.
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=158790

Sully
02-25-2007, 10:11 PM
what ARE you talking about?? You guys are obsessed with Religion!

I think it has to do with the fact that you claimed that there was NEVER a place where you weren't to proclaim your religion. Therefore, you have branded yourself as such (as well as your name). It's pretty embarrassing to have someone proclaiming what you do to see you acting the way you do.

|Zach|
02-25-2007, 10:12 PM
why are you so concerned about my christian values? i havent mentioned it once in this thread. ive kept it to GoChiefs masturbating addiction.
Don't even bother speaking with me...I am not on the same plane as you. I have seen this dog and pony show before.

ROFL

oooh, you ARE getting aroused. Im sorry, I cannot discuss topics of a spiritual nature to someone who is playing with himself while watching "Brokeback Mountain"

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 10:13 PM
Believer, do you masturbate?

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:14 PM
Absolutely. Now, are you going to answer my question?

ok. ok. Your masturbating, while a sin, is no worse than any other sin. sin is sin.
And there is condemnation for it. But if you accept Jesus payment for your sin on the Cross, you are forgiven for it.

ok? feel better? If you have accepted Christ and have repented your sin is forgiven.

Sam Hall
02-25-2007, 10:14 PM
:thumb:

milkman
02-25-2007, 10:15 PM
This thread is like a mud wrestling match between Oprah Winfrey and Rosie O'Donnell.

Nobody needs to see it.

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:15 PM
Believer, do you masturbate?

why do you keep asking me. Do you like me?

|Zach|
02-25-2007, 10:15 PM
I think it has to do with the fact that you claimed that there was NEVER a place where you weren't to proclaim your religion. Therefore, you have branded yourself as such (as well as your name). It's pretty embarrassing to have someone proclaiming what you do to see you acting the way you do.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/146/388710339_49d5294ed8.jpg

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 10:15 PM
ok. ok. Your masturbating, while a sin, is no worse than any other sin. sin is sin.
And there is condemnation for it. But if you accept Jesus payment for your sin on the Cross, you are forgiven for it.

ok? feel better? If you have accepted Christ and have repented your sin is forgiven.

You still haven't answered my question.

Do you masturbate?

boogblaster
02-25-2007, 10:17 PM
Did father make you masturbate before choir-lessons ....

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:17 PM
Don't even bother speaking with me...I am not on the same plane as you. I have seen this dog and pony show before.

ROFL


oh thats right, you are the sort of Christian. I cant possibly be on your "plane".

You'd hold out for 40 coins.

|Zach|
02-25-2007, 10:18 PM
oh thats right, you are the sort of Christian. I cant possibly be on your "plane".

You'd hold out for 40 coins.
You have the worst sarcasm meter ever.

Amazing.

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:19 PM
You still haven't answered my question.

Do you masturbate?

i dont see the others making their proclamations regarding it. only you are the known Pee Wee Herman here. Swim in it.

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 10:20 PM
Why don't you want to answer my question?

|Zach|
02-25-2007, 10:21 PM
Alot of people do.

Ok, where the hell is Parcells at. This one is his fav.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/106/282050751_e29f771719.jpg?v=0

Go Bears.

Believer
02-25-2007, 10:22 PM
GoChiefs, if you are comfortable with being Gay thats fine with me. Dont try to deflect now.

Douche Baggins
02-25-2007, 10:26 PM
I'm not deflecting. I'd just like you to answer my question.

Mr. Kotter
02-25-2007, 10:26 PM
Help yourself....

Sully
02-25-2007, 10:27 PM
Help yourself....

Looks worthless, unless it comes with a sock that isn't advertised.

noa
02-25-2007, 10:28 PM
Wow, the idea of GoChiefs masturbating prompted Believer's first post in over two weeks. Very interesting...

Mr. Kotter
02-25-2007, 10:29 PM
Looks worthless, unless it comes with a sock that isn't advertised.

I think the "condom" is meant as a upgrade over the sock...:hmmm:

noa
02-25-2007, 10:30 PM
I think the "condom" is meant as a upgrade over the sock...:hmmm:

I thought you were supposed to wear the condom over the sock...:shrug:

Mr. Kotter
02-25-2007, 10:31 PM
I thought you were supposed to wear the condom over the sock...:shrug:

If you prefer more friction, I suppose it could work that way...:hmmm:








ROFL

Sully
02-25-2007, 10:36 PM
I think the "condom" is meant as a upgrade over the sock...:hmmm:

All I'm saying is that the little wetnap included isn't nearly enough for cleanup. :p

Bill Parcells
02-25-2007, 10:55 PM
Alot of people do.

Ok, where the hell is Parcells at. This one is his fav.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/106/282050751_e29f771719.jpg?v=0

Go Bears.
ROFL

I can't believe you posted that for GC and not me..

Thank you! :clap:

SNR
02-25-2007, 11:17 PM
i dont see the others making their proclamations regarding it. only you are the known Pee Wee Herman here. Swim in it.I masturbate quite a bit. But we've already established that as a sin.

I have another question... is it still a sin if my wife masturbates for me? To be specific, I get all the pleasure but I'm not doing any of the work or the sinning; she's doing the stroking, the sucking, and the jacking. If that is, then what if she masturbates me when I'm asleep? What if she masturbates me but holds off the fireworks just at the end and then we have normal, healthy, marital sex. Which part of masturbating is the sinful part? Is it the pleasure, the ejaculation, the act of doing it, and why is it sinful? I know why catholics believe it is sinful, but we haven't established if you're catholic or not. Going back to a previous question, what if my wife ties me up to the bed S&M style and plays sensual sex games with me, and I tell her I don't want to be masturbated but she does it anyway? Is raping masturbation considered sinful on my part?

Okay, that was more than one question, but do the best you can. I'd appreciate any and all help you can give.

Thanks.

Valiant
02-25-2007, 11:44 PM
I think the bigger question here is why you are getting so horny at sporting events hanging around a bunch of other guys???


Remember he is a meetpeeker at the stalls...

el borracho
02-25-2007, 11:52 PM
Well, SNR, I am certainly no authority on christian mythologies but I believe the wasting of your seed is the sin part.

Also, while your wife can give you a handjob, I am pretty sure she cannot masturbate you.

SNR
02-26-2007, 12:00 AM
Well, SNR, I am certainly no authority on christian mythologies but I believe the wasting of your seed is the sin part.

Also, while your wife can give you a handjob, I am pretty sure she cannot masturbate you.Really? I was raised Lutheran and I was never taught that. I thought that was just reserved for more conservative denominations of Christianity.

Jayhawkerman2001
02-26-2007, 12:04 AM
sure, if you say so.

just like the typical "holier than thou" type christian.... Gotta love ignorance and hypocricy at their worst... pardon the spelling, its kind of late

el borracho
02-26-2007, 12:05 AM
Really?
Well, I think so but I am not christian so don't take my word as definitive. Perhaps Pastor Mike will weigh-in on the subject.

|Zach|
02-26-2007, 12:10 AM
Well, I think so but I am not christian so don't take my word as definitive. Perhaps Pastor Mike will weigh-in on the subject.
I think thats a Catholic thing.

|Zach|
02-26-2007, 12:11 AM
Really? I was raised Lutheran and I was never taught that. I thought that was just reserved for more conservative denominations of Christianity.
You missed "every load is sacred" Sunday?

Thig Lyfe
02-26-2007, 12:47 AM
DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

boogblaster
02-26-2007, 07:05 AM
Wasted days .. and wasted nites .. don't waste that load its a holy-rite ..