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Nelson Muntz
03-30-2007, 10:26 PM
Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace
(and elsewhere)!!!


1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER : A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
shits on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard

4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly
in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's
going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.

8. SITCOMs : Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies
get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay
home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT : An ATM or credit card that has been rendered usele ss
because
magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT : Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but
you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above
the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminispher e are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.

15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same
no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and
subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email
by mistake).

18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a
Cube Farm.