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Count Alex's Losses
05-01-2007, 09:56 AM
Go out with 500 bucks, slam a bottle of scotch at the scumbag, shithole bar and then come back to a hotel room with some trailer trash skanks and turn them out.

Should I accept?

StcChief
05-01-2007, 09:57 AM
If you want a Drunk and an STD go for it.

Braincase
05-01-2007, 09:58 AM
What kind of medical insurance do you have?

Is taking a shower with them before doing the nasty an option?

Fire Me Boy!
05-01-2007, 09:59 AM
Aren't you already employed by Athan?

Demonpenz
05-01-2007, 10:01 AM
i've seen pics. It may be your only time

Dicky McElephant
05-01-2007, 10:19 AM
Are you getting $500....or spending $500?

ROYC75
05-01-2007, 10:20 AM
It might make your pickle sour, a dill pickle ?

So whatever turns your crank, enjoy, spare us the gross details.

Phobia
05-01-2007, 10:20 AM
Are they all relatives?

Cochise
05-01-2007, 10:23 AM
i've seen pics. It may be your only time

Come on, there are tons of guys out there who would swallow their pride and give him a pity shag.

Count Alex's Losses
05-01-2007, 10:27 AM
Are you getting $500....or spending $500?

Apparently the person offering wishes to pool our cash to form a $1000 "slamming and skanking" fund.

blueballs
05-01-2007, 10:32 AM
are there not female starwars geeks
that would gladly accept your nut
after letting you win a lightsaber fight

Fire Me Boy!
05-01-2007, 10:54 AM
are there not female starwars geeks
that would gladly accept your nut
after letting you win a lightsaber fight
Not intended as an insult, but why is it I always feel like I'm reading some kind of crappy poetry when I see your posts?

blueballs
05-01-2007, 10:58 AM
I have to keep it short
no long winded crap
+pisses people off

kepp
05-01-2007, 10:58 AM
Apparently the person offering wishes to pool our cash to form a $1000 "slamming and skanking" fund.
So you don't actually have a qualified offer from actual females? This is more like you & Han going out for a night on the town? Just wondering...it will influence my vote.

Phobia
05-01-2007, 10:59 AM
Not intended as an insult, but why is it I always feel like I'm reading some kind of crappy poetry when I see your posts?
It's why I have the dude on iggy 90% of the time.

Fire Me Boy!
05-01-2007, 10:59 AM
I have to keep it short
no long winded crap
+pisses people off
It always feels like a haiku that doesn't read like a haiku.

wutamess
05-01-2007, 11:00 AM
Not intended as an insult, but why is it I always feel like I'm reading some kind of crappy poetry when I see your posts?

IT should be an insult.
It's fuggin annoying as hell.

Like he can't think complete sentences or anything.
Hard to take him serious at anything.

Although, to be taken serious prolly isn't his intent anyways.

blueballs
05-01-2007, 11:01 AM
down
to the
short strokes

Fire Me Boy!
05-01-2007, 11:03 AM
Hmmm... you know, wutamess and Phobia, it never really bothered me.

wutamess
05-01-2007, 11:04 AM
Hmmm... you know, wutamess and Phobia, it never really bothered me.

Didn't really bother me either until you said something about it to bring it to my attention. I guess you bring the inner me out.

'Hamas' Jenkins
05-01-2007, 11:07 AM
Just buy a whore for the 500.

Dumbass.

wutamess
05-01-2007, 11:08 AM
Just buy a whore for the 500.

Dumbass.

:stupid:

Dicky McElephant
05-01-2007, 11:47 AM
Apparently the person offering wishes to pool our cash to form a $1000 "slamming and skanking" fund.

So is the guy who slams more skanks winning the $1000? Or are you spending the $1000 on some high class skanks?

Mr. Plow
05-01-2007, 11:51 AM
This could be your only chance. Go for it man.

KurtCobain
05-01-2007, 03:50 PM
run forrest run

Donger
05-01-2007, 03:51 PM
are there not female starwars geeks
that would gladly accept your nut
after letting you win a lightsaber fight

It's "light sabre," you knob.

Reerun_KC
05-01-2007, 03:54 PM
Just remember, when you get your cherry popped for the first time, she does not love you, you are paying for it...

Congrats on your first chance of actual real sex with a real women.

Mile High Mania
05-01-2007, 04:27 PM
First off... I seriously doubt GC's ability to "slam a bottle of scotch" and still remain standing, much less be able to operate his zipper.

As someone else mentioned... if this is YOUR $500 that you are starting off with, just look through the ads and find a female with "full service" in her ad. If it's someone else's $500... do the same thing.

Iowanian
05-01-2007, 04:29 PM
I hope you and kcchiefsman have a great time on spring break.

Dicky McElephant
05-01-2007, 04:34 PM
First off... I seriously doubt GC's ability to "slam a bottle of scotch" and still remain standing, much less be able to operate his zipper.

As someone else mentioned... if this is YOUR $500 that you are starting off with, just look through the ads and find a female with "full service" in her ad. If it's someone else's $500... do the same thing.


Screw that....take $100 and go to the bar. Find a less than average looking chick and start buying her drinks. Impress her with your Chiefs and Star Wars knowledge....and she's bound to invite you back to her apartment. Now you have $400 left to go get a good STD test and buy that Star Wars action figure you've always wanted.

OctoberFart
05-01-2007, 04:38 PM
Screw that....take $100 and go to the bar. Find a less than average looking chick and start buying her drinks. Impress her with your Chiefs and Star Wars knowledge....and she's bound to invite you back to her apartment. .


Funny Sh!t there. I bet the GOQUEER dude couldn't get laid at a whore house with a fist full of 100 dollar bills.

Donger
05-01-2007, 04:42 PM
I just realized that there's no mention of whether or not these "skanks" are female.

Stewie
05-01-2007, 04:50 PM
Give the $500 to your mommy. Maybe she'll cater waffles to the basement for you. You wouldn't know what to do with a woman anyway... waffles, however, are all around your belly.

vailpass
05-01-2007, 05:01 PM
"Slamming" scotch? Ever had a drink in your life?

You better stay in the basement; if you go out in public with $500 Chuck Norris will take it and the woman you are hitting on from you and leave you crying on the floor.

blueballs
05-01-2007, 05:06 PM
It's "light sabre," you knob.

go choke on a kidneypie
stupid limey

elvomito
05-01-2007, 05:08 PM
here i just saved you a few hundred, call this girl: http://www.eros-houston.com/files/us-holly52-holly1.htm

she sorta looks like carrie underwood and you won't have to use any of your nonexistent game to hit it. she even takes paypal
you can thank me later

blueballs
05-01-2007, 05:10 PM
close your eyes and think of LJ
you'lll be steel for hours

Donger
05-01-2007, 05:10 PM
go choke on a kidneypie
stupid limey

I was embarrassed to learn that I had been spelling it incorrectly, too. It's okay.

Remember: it's "light sabre."

OctoberFart
05-01-2007, 05:12 PM
close your eyes and think of LJ
you'lll be steel for hours

Isn't that the truth.

blueballs
05-01-2007, 05:12 PM
I do not intend to use the phrase again

OnTheWarpath58
05-01-2007, 05:23 PM
Down on the corner......

Brando
05-01-2007, 06:02 PM
Wait...are you paying for Ms. Moss' Wendy's bill for the night? If so you had both better come up with $500 and hope that she ate a late lunch.

PinkFloyd
05-01-2007, 06:46 PM
Your better off using the $500 on 3 blowup dolls and a jar of mayo !!!!

Count Alex's Losses
05-01-2007, 07:20 PM
here i just saved you a few hundred, call this girl: http://www.eros-houston.com/files/us-holly52-holly1.htm

she sorta looks like carrie underwood and you won't have to use any of your nonexistent game to hit it. she even takes paypal
you can thank me later

She looks nothing like Carrie! Do not pass go. Do not collect STD.

Count Alex's Losses
05-01-2007, 07:20 PM
"Slamming" scotch? Ever had a drink in your life?


Absolutely. WisChief can attest to that.

The first time I got drunk, I did it right here on Chiefsplanet.

Brando
05-01-2007, 07:25 PM
Absolutely. WisChief can attest to that.

The first time I got drunk, I did it right here on Chiefsplanet.

I've heard that you're a regular cockaholic. Always drunk on it and can't get enough of it.

I believe the t-shirt says "Love what you do and do what you love."
Rock on brother...to each their own!

Donger
05-01-2007, 07:27 PM
She looks nothing like Carrie! Do not pass go. Do not collect STD.

Sans the t*ts, she is pretty mannish.

Count Alex's Losses
05-01-2007, 07:34 PM
Sans the t*ts, she is pretty mannish.

I'd definitely hit it, don't get me wrong.

Kerberos
05-01-2007, 08:34 PM
Aren't you already employed by Athan?


Where do you think he got the $500?

I don't think this is what Phil did with his $500 though!

Brando
05-01-2007, 08:35 PM
Where do you think he got the $500?

I don't think this is what Phil did with his $500 though!

On the contrary it seems that good ole GC has taken "I'm offering you $500 and the chance to get screwed" quite literally.

stevieray
05-01-2007, 08:39 PM
This is stupid.