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View Full Version : The im-pour-tense of pro-nun-see-ay-shun


Mark M
05-02-2007, 01:01 AM
Note: This was posted over at my site (http://daddyology.wordpress.com/), but by popular demand, I decided to post it over here. And yes, this really did happen.


<strong>Scene</strong>: Dropping The Boy off at day care. We had just drove down a small hill, which The Boy loves to point out every time we do it. He had a green Thomas and Friends fruit chewy in his hand that represented <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Percy_the_Small_Engine">Percy.</a> There are several parents, a few dozen kids, and day care employees in the lobby. We enter.
<blockquote><strong> </strong>

<strong>The Boy:</strong> Dada?

<strong>Me:</strong> What what?

<strong>The Boy:</strong> I just went down.

<strong>Me:</strong> Yes you did.

<strong>The Boy:</strong> I ate poosy.

<em>(pause)</em>

<strong>Me:</strong> Perrrrcy, buddy. Purrrrrcy.

<em>(One parent giggles)</em>

<strong>The Boy:</strong> I like eating poosy.

<strong>Me:</strong> It's Perrrrrrrrrrcy, buddy. The "r" is really, really important.

<em>(Other parents start to laugh. A few look on in horror)</em>

<strong>The Boy:</strong> Poosy tastes good.

<strong>Me:</strong> Um ... yeah. I gotta go, buddy.

<strong>The Boy:</strong> Poosy is green and chewy.

<strong>Me:</strong> That one was, yes.

<strong>The Boy:</strong> You like eating poosy, too.

<em>(pause)</em>

<strong>Me:</strong> Not if it's green and chewy.

<em>(One parent starts laughing. Another parent walks out disgusted.)</em>

<strong>The Boy:</strong> You eat poosy later.

<em>(The day care's director is trying hard not to laugh, and failing miserably.)</em>

<strong>Me:</strong> I'll have to talk to Mommy about that.</blockquote>
And ... end scene.

luv
05-02-2007, 01:04 AM
Love it. Kids are so innocent.

Mark M
05-02-2007, 01:06 AM
Love it. Kids are so innocent.

It is stunning how they have absolutely no reservations about anything, ain't it?

It kinda reminds me of Bob Dole when he's drunk ...

MM
~~:D

Logical
05-02-2007, 01:08 AM
It is stunning how they have absolutely no reservations about anything, ain't it?

It kinda reminds me of Bob Dole when he's drunk ...

MM
~~:D

Actually it reminds me of Bob Dole sober half the time.

luv
05-02-2007, 01:09 AM
It is stunning how they have absolutely no reservations about anything, ain't it?

It kinda reminds me of Bob Dole when he's drunk ...

MM
~~:D
I've yet to set eyes on such a site. I will look forward to it.

Kids amaze me. Makes you realize just how corrupt our thinking becomes as we get older.

huskerdooz
05-02-2007, 06:16 AM
ROFL

This is quite possibly the most hilarious thing I've heard in sometime.

Amnorix
05-02-2007, 07:34 AM
It is stunning how they have absolutely no reservations about anything, ain't it?



Yep. My 3 year old, last week, in a crowded airport, shortly before we board, in a loud voice: "Mommy Daddy, me go POOPIE!!"

Everyone around us is chuckling. I take him off to the potty. 5 minutes later, we come back. In front of the same crowd he gives an update:

"Mommy, mommy, I go POOPIE!! It was a BIG ONE"


Oy....

:rolleyes: ROFL

kepp
05-02-2007, 07:44 AM
Yep. My 3 year old, last week, in a crowded airport, shortly before we board, in a loud voice: "Mommy Daddy, me go POOPIE!!"

Everyone around us is chuckling. I take him off to the potty. 5 minutes later, we come back. In front of the same crowd he gives an update:

"Mommy, mommy, I go POOPIE!! It was a BIG ONE"


Oy....

:rolleyes: ROFL
Oh yeah...my daughter has pulled that one. We were in a "nice" resturant. My wife takes her to the bathroom and she races back to me shouting, "Daddy, I went poopie!"

Funny story MM

ChiTown
05-02-2007, 08:31 AM
ABOUT 6 YRS.............

when my kids were younger, in order to save time, they'd jump in the shower with me or my wife, especially if we were rushing to get somewhere. Well, my son was in the shower with me getting cleaned up to go to church one Sunday...............

We get the kids cleaned up, dressed and are taking them to their Sunday School classrooms. As I drop my 3 yr old off, I gave him a kiss, and and he holds my hand and walks me over to his 20-something Sunday School teacher and introduces me to her - they get a sticker each time they do this. So, my son goes, "Daddy, this in Miss Stacey. Miss Stacey, this is my Daddy. I took shower with him this morning, and he's got a big penis!" :banghead:

Literally, I'm speechless. I looked at her, she's looking at her feet half embarrassed, half laughing her ass off. I look at my son and he's got his eye's closed and his lips puckered waiting for me to kiss him goodbye, like nothing ever happened.

Heh, at least he said "big". :)

kepp
05-02-2007, 08:36 AM
ABOUT 6 YRS.............

when my kids were younger, in order to save time, they'd jump in the shower with me or my wife, especially if we were rushing to get somewhere. Well, my son was in the shower with me getting cleaned up to go to church one Sunday...............

We get the kids cleaned up, dressed and are taking them to their Sunday School classrooms. As I drop my 3 yr old off, I gave him a kiss, and and he holds my hand and walks me over to his 20-something Sunday School teacher and introduces me to her - they get a sticker each time they do this. So, my son goes, "Daddy, this in Miss Stacey. Miss Stacey, this is my Daddy. I took shower with him this morning, and he's got a big penis!" :banghead:

Literally, I'm speechless. I looked at her, she's looking at her feet half embarrassed, half laughing her ass off. I look at my son and he's got his eye's closed and his lips puckered waiting for me to kiss him goodbye, like nothing ever happened.

Heh, at least he said "big". :)
Wow...you win ROFL

Iowanian
05-02-2007, 09:05 AM
I've got a nephew that says it pu..y

its hillarious.

You should hear how kidowanian says "frog".....no pictures of frogs allowed in Church and public settings, that is for sure.

Its unfortunate that for the past year or two, you've been too much of a green, chewy Thomas Train friend to post here much.



Its only a matter of time before the "manners lesson" comes to haunt someone in public....every breakage of wind, or sound of similar nature draws a "tooooot, peee yew" "Scu.......meeeeeee"

I'm waiting for the first old ladies chair or pew to squeak.....


Who knew the hedge hog posted here.....Ladies and Gentlemen.....Ron "baby lee" jeremy.

Mr. Plow
05-02-2007, 09:19 AM
Gotta love kids.

My 2 year old loves sitting at the dinner table and saying to our 1 year old "Anthony.....scuse you big pig." All very cute....until we were walking through the mall last weekend.

Walking beside me, anytime someone got within 5 feet of him I'd hear "Scuse you big pig." Needless to say, we passed some large people. All you can say is "I'm sorry." We are now working on our "things that are ok to say at home, but not in public."

boogblaster
05-02-2007, 09:28 AM
Don't eat the yellow snow .....

ROYC75
05-02-2007, 09:58 AM
Kids say the darndest things.......... Good Times.

Bowser
05-02-2007, 10:25 AM
I was delivering a package to a lady standing in her driveway (who was smokin' ass hot, btw), when her quite young son rides up on a Big Wheel and shouts "MOM! IT'S THE PMS MAN!" She gets this look of horror on her face while trying not to laugh. I look at her, shrug my shoulders, and say "Well, yeah, some days".

Mark M
05-02-2007, 10:42 PM
ABOUT 6 YRS.............

when my kids were younger, in order to save time, they'd jump in the shower with me or my wife, especially if we were rushing to get somewhere. Well, my son was in the shower with me getting cleaned up to go to church one Sunday...............

We get the kids cleaned up, dressed and are taking them to their Sunday School classrooms. As I drop my 3 yr old off, I gave him a kiss, and and he holds my hand and walks me over to his 20-something Sunday School teacher and introduces me to her - they get a sticker each time they do this. So, my son goes, "Daddy, this in Miss Stacey. Miss Stacey, this is my Daddy. I took shower with him this morning, and he's got a big penis!" :banghead:

Literally, I'm speechless. I looked at her, she's looking at her feet half embarrassed, half laughing her ass off. I look at my son and he's got his eye's closed and his lips puckered waiting for me to kiss him goodbye, like nothing ever happened.

Heh, at least he said "big". :)

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Although, I think I got you beat:

Last night, after an evening of running, and sliding and tee-ball, he and I hope in the shower (like you, in the interest of time). I reach back to grab the shampoo.

And he decides to reach out and grab my junk.

Just a gentle one, mind you. Nothing sexual. Just wanted to see what it felt like.

I just grabbed his hand—quickly, yet while trying not to make a big deal out of it.

Me: "That's Dada's penis. We do not touch daddy's penis. You can only touch your penis.

The Boy (grabbing his penis): This is my penis.

Me: Yes ... yes it is. You can touch that one.

The Boy: I do nooooott touch yourrr penis.

Me: No. Not mine. Just yours.

The Boy: Mommy not touch your penis.

(pause)

Me: Not as much as she used to, buddy ... not as much as she used to ...

MM
~~:)

Demonpenz
05-02-2007, 10:54 PM
Teacher... I think my house is haunted
Why is that demon?
I hear moaning and screeming everynight?
Teacher *sigh* i wish my house was haunted

luv
05-02-2007, 10:59 PM
ROFL ROFL ROFL

Although, I think I got you beat:

Last night, after an evening of running, and sliding and tee-ball, he and I hope in the shower (like you, in the interest of time). I reach back to grab the shampoo.

And he decides to reach out and grab my junk.

Just a gentle one, mind you. Nothing sexual. Just wanted to see what it felt like.

I just grabbed his hand—quickly, yet while trying not to make a big deal out of it.

Me: "That's Dada's penis. We do not touch daddy's penis. You can only touch your penis.

The Boy (grabbing his penis): This is my penis.

Me: Yes ... yes it is. You can touch that one.

The Boy: I do nooooott touch yourrr penis.

Me: No. Not mine. Just yours.

The Boy: Mommy not touch your penis.

(pause)

Me: Not as much as she used to, buddy ... not as much as she used to ...

MM
~~:)
ROFL

Where is this blog you speak of?

SNR
05-02-2007, 11:22 PM
Actually, pronouncing "percy" the way it should be is also kinda dirty.

Mark M
05-02-2007, 11:27 PM
ROFL

Where is this blog you speak of?

Daddyology.com (http://www.daddyology.com).

Although I haven't posted that one yet (I'm posting right now on something else, and am saving that story for tomorrow).

MM
~~:)

Rausch
05-02-2007, 11:36 PM
ROFL ROFL ROFL

Although, I think I got you beat:

Last night, after an evening of running, and sliding and tee-ball, he and I hope in the shower (like you, in the interest of time). I reach back to grab the shampoo.

And he decides to reach out and grab my junk.

Just a gentle one, mind you. Nothing sexual. Just wanted to see what it felt like.

I just grabbed his hand—quickly, yet while trying not to make a big deal out of it.

Me: "That's Dada's penis. We do not touch daddy's penis. You can only touch your penis.

The Boy (grabbing his penis): This is my penis.

Me: Yes ... yes it is. You can touch that one.

The Boy: I do nooooott touch yourrr penis.

Me: No. Not mine. Just yours.

The Boy: Mommy not touch your penis.

(pause)

Me: Not as much as she used to, buddy ... not as much as she used to ...

MM
~~:)

Seems he's on pace anyway...

Tyler Durden: I want you to do me a favor.
Narrator: Yeah, sure...
Tyler Durden: I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

The next thing you know he'll be trying to hide n' d/load pr0n on the family computer by making 120 folders (nice try, N00b, I can sniff teh pr0n...)

Frosty
05-03-2007, 09:17 AM
Daddyology.com (http://www.daddyology.com).

Although I haven't posted that one yet (I'm posting right now on something else, and am saving that story for tomorrow).

MM
~~:)

After reading your blog, it made me glad that we are out of the Thomas period. Though, after thinking about it as my oldest heads into his teen years, don't be in a big rush to get out of that period. :)

We used to bribe our kids with Hot Wheels at the store, too. Cheap and effective.

El Jefe
05-03-2007, 03:01 PM
Kids amaze me. Makes you realize just how corrupt our thinking becomes as we get older.

You know I am still relatively young and I have 2 nieces and three nephews and it really is great to see such inocence. But your right our world has gone a long way down the crapper since my paretns were kids.

bogie
05-03-2007, 04:02 PM
We have friends with a young boy. The mother slept with him one night. The next morning the following conversation happened.
Boy: Mommy happiness?
Mom: What?
Boy: Mommy happiness?
Mom: Yes, Mommy happiness
boy: No, Mommy no have penis.

ChiTown
05-03-2007, 04:14 PM
We have friends with a young boy. The mother slept with him one night. The next morning the following conversation happened.
Boy: Mommy happiness?
Mom: What?
Boy: Mommy happiness?
Mom: Yes, Mommy happiness
boy: No, Mommy no have penis.

:LOL:

That's awesome. That's what happens when you agree with your kids in frustration, even when you don't completely understand what they're saying.

Baby Lee
05-03-2007, 04:19 PM
ROFL - Stickboy got the kancho!!