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Donger
05-14-2007, 10:34 PM
I just went downstairs to get some goodies. As I came back to the elevator, there was a very large man waiting. The bell rang and we stepped inside. As we ascended, I couldn't help but notice that this guy was REALLY uncomfortable. He kept moving away from me. Naturally, I followed him. His floor was before mine, and when the door opened, he literally ran through the door.

So, when you're in an elevator with other people (or not), how do you behave?

Pierce
05-14-2007, 10:38 PM
Just don't stare at the other people or act crazy.

Phobia
05-14-2007, 10:38 PM
I usually act pretty normal. You know, screaming at people, making crude jokes, and scratching my nether regions.

luv
05-14-2007, 10:39 PM
Depends on the elevator. If it's and older building, I usually hang on to something like a railing if there is one. Otherwise, I'm usually the one standing by the buttons asking which floor as people get on.

Donger
05-14-2007, 10:39 PM
I like the people who are fascinated with the inspection notice.

JBucc
05-14-2007, 10:43 PM
I casually slide in, push the button of the floor that we're on, and then stand perfectly still and don't blink as long as I can. Oh and I stand right in the front center and make people move around me to get in.

Pierce
05-14-2007, 10:43 PM
I like the people who are fascinated with the inspection notice.

Guilty as charged. I tend to look at that thing whenever I see it.

Baconeater
05-14-2007, 10:44 PM
If no one's looking, I push the buttons for every floor before I get off.

cdcox
05-14-2007, 10:44 PM
I like to push all the buttons above my floor but only if there is someone there to notice.

Count Alex's Losses
05-14-2007, 10:45 PM
I dry hump any women present.

Mr. Flopnuts
05-14-2007, 10:46 PM
I like the people who are fascinated with the inspection notice.


ROFL I f*ckin always read that thing, and I have never had any idea why. LMAO

Mr. Flopnuts
05-14-2007, 10:47 PM
I dry hump any women present.


I figured you just broke out a jar of peanut butter with a cheesy grin on your face.

luv
05-14-2007, 10:47 PM
If no one's looking, I push the buttons for every floor before I get off.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that does that.

Donger
05-14-2007, 10:47 PM
If no one's looking, I push the buttons for every floor before I get off.

That's terrible. But, one of my brothers insists on farting whenever he's in an elevator. I think that's worse, particlularly when I'm with him.

And, why does Coach Shula laugh when he says, "Hey Marino" in those annoying NutriSystem ads?

Donger
05-14-2007, 10:48 PM
I dry hump any women present.

That's somewhat redundant. Like they would be wet.

Donger
05-14-2007, 10:49 PM
ROFL I f*ckin always read that thing, and I have never had any idea why. LMAO

So, you know the answer?

cdcox
05-14-2007, 10:50 PM
ROFL I f*ckin always read that thing, and I have never had any idea why. LMAO

I read whatever is in front of my face. I'd read all 6 panels of ceral box every morning when I was a kid.

Pitt Gorilla
05-14-2007, 10:51 PM
ROFL I f*ckin always read that thing, and I have never had any idea why. LMAO
It's the same reason people will read the shampoo bottle in the WC if they didn't bring a periodical to peruse.

KCChiefsMan
05-14-2007, 11:10 PM
I wish I would walk into an elevator with the man show juggies...if anybody remembers that show and has seen that skit

Mr. Flopnuts
05-14-2007, 11:11 PM
So, you know the answer?


Not at all.

Donger
05-14-2007, 11:15 PM
Not at all.

Well, the question probably should have been asked: "Where does the certificate reside?"

Mr. Flopnuts
05-14-2007, 11:25 PM
Well, the question probably should have been asked: "Where does the certificate reside?"


Generally at the top of the panel with all of the buttons.

Donger
05-14-2007, 11:27 PM
Generally at the top of the panel with all of the buttons.

No! It resides in the engineer's office.

Mr. Flopnuts
05-14-2007, 11:33 PM
No! It resides in the engineer's office.

Technicalities.

Dicky McElephant
05-14-2007, 11:33 PM
I stand in complete silence and stare at the door. If someone trys to make small talk....I look at them weird and move away. Then I run out of the elevator as fast as I can.

Direckshun
05-14-2007, 11:36 PM
My Axe bodyspray pretty much guarantees that I cannot ride in an elevator anymore without extra special female attention.

Was fun for awhile, but it affected my punctuality so now I just take the stairs.

RJ
05-14-2007, 11:36 PM
If there is only one other passenger I give them a "hey, how ya' doin?".

Two or more, I got nothing to say except "excuse me" when exiting, though a good looking woman always gets a smile. Chicks dig getting a smile from a bald, overweight 48 year old man with a small child. They never actually say so, but I can tell.

luv
05-15-2007, 12:42 AM
My Axe bodyspray pretty much guarantees that I cannot ride in an elevator anymore without extra special female attention.

Was fun for awhile, but it affected my punctuality so now I just take the stairs.
They could just be attracted to your good looks and charm....

Nah.

vincent
05-15-2007, 12:47 AM
kinda off the subject, but...

I really hate it when people try to get on the elevator before letting people off the elevator...

Is it just me or is proper form to let whoever is getting off, get off before you get in?

luv
05-15-2007, 12:49 AM
kinda off the subject, but...

I really hate it when people try to get on the elevator before letting people off the elevator...

Is it just me or is proper form to let whoever is getting off, get off before you get in?
Letting people off does tend to create a little more room for you to get on. What I hate is when someone doesn't hold the door for someone.

Smed1065
05-15-2007, 12:50 AM
Letting people off does tend to create a little more room for you to get on. What I hate is when someone doesn't hold the door for someone.

Sorry, I did not know it was you.

vincent
05-15-2007, 12:50 AM
Letting people off does tend to create a little more room for you to get on. What I hate is when someone doesn't hold the door for someone.

that sucks too....

I guess I should quit complaining...at least elevators save me from stairs...

Direckshun
05-15-2007, 12:54 AM
I was in an elevator at a ski resort. I just got done hauling about fifty pounds of equipment for everybody buy myself and the doors started shutting.

Some dude started running towards the elevator and he was like "get the door, dude!"

I was like "go smoke some pot, you wanker two planker" and let the doors close.

But he got his hand in the way.

The doors opened up.

He got on.

We stared at each other.

Doors shutting behind him, he mutters "what did you say to me, toothpick?"

And then proceeded to dislocate my jaw.

luv
05-15-2007, 01:48 AM
And then proceeded to dislocate my jaw.
So that's what happened.

:p

ChiefFan31
05-15-2007, 01:49 AM
I stand in complete silence and stare at the door. If someone trys to make small talk....I look at them weird and move away. Then I run out of the elevator as fast as I can.

LMAO Lard Ass!




Interesting topic of discussion here. I almost treat it as bathroom rules. you look straight ahead and don't talk, and do not eye wander...hence reading the maximum weight sign or whatever. If there is a woman in there, I might say hello or give a little half smile to ease any possible tension.



That is messed up Donger, you saw the guy was nervous and as he moved away you moved closer. Way to cause the poor guy an anxiety attack and make him run out the door. Although, that is pretty funny.

Miles
05-15-2007, 02:00 AM
No! It resides in the engineer's office.

I have seen/read where it resides in the manager's/owner's office as well.

KCChiefsMan
05-15-2007, 02:01 AM
I was in an elevator at a ski resort. I just got done hauling about fifty pounds of equipment for everybody buy myself and the doors started shutting.

Some dude started running towards the elevator and he was like "get the door, dude!"

I was like "go smoke some pot, you wanker two planker" and let the doors close.

But he got his hand in the way.

The doors opened up.

He got on.

We stared at each other.

Doors shutting behind him, he mutters "what did you say to me, toothpick?"

And then proceeded to dislocate my jaw.

I guess you shouldn't have been an *sshole

|Zach|
05-15-2007, 02:02 AM
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Miles
05-15-2007, 02:11 AM
I was like "go smoke some pot, you wanker two planker" and let the doors close.


That doesn't really make that much sense. Perhaps he stuck his non stoned hand in to see what you meant. Should he smoke to calm himself or to try to be as cool as some boarders feel they are?

SPchief
05-15-2007, 02:14 AM
He kept moving away from me. Naturally, I followed him. Kind of suprising coming from you So, when you're in an elevator with other people (or not), how do you behave? I press my floor button and move to the back of the elevator.

DenverChief
05-15-2007, 02:17 AM
Generally I behave myself and do the routine of ceiling stare or reading what I have in my hand...one day @ school I was kinda gassy...it was the SBD kind...fortunatly I got off before it really started to fill the elevator

keg in kc
05-15-2007, 02:59 AM
I can't remember the last time I was on an elevator. I'd imagine like in everyday life, I'd just ignore everyone.

DenverChief
05-15-2007, 03:02 AM
I can't remember the last time I was on an elevator. I'd imagine like in everyday life, I'd just ignore everyone.



well f*ck you too! and I still don't recognize your authority to declare them SB champs :D

keg in kc
05-15-2007, 03:05 AM
Well, I find the best way to deal with intense self-loathing is to pretend I'm the only person in the world.

I know that makes a lot of sense.

Miles
05-15-2007, 03:06 AM
I can't remember the last time I was on an elevator. I'd imagine like in everyday life, I'd just ignore everyone.

Feel comfort in that your reaction is elevator etiquette.

DenverChief
05-15-2007, 03:09 AM
Well, I find the best way to deal with intense self-loathing is to pretend I'm the only person in the world.

I know that makes a lot of sense.


:hmmm: I find thinking of my elevator sexual fantasies works or sometimes huming "dude looks like a lady" and "love in an elevator" by aerosmith to be helpful too

ChiefaRoo
05-15-2007, 03:14 AM
This is usually what I'm thinking
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Micjones
05-15-2007, 08:48 AM
I always read the inspection notice and try my best not to let one rip.

KC-TBB
05-15-2007, 09:01 AM
I am an elevator inspector for the Government, so don't get nervous when you don't see an inspection sticker in the frame...it may say "Certificate on File in Mangement Office" But rest assured, they are still the safest means of transportation available.

Bearcat
05-15-2007, 09:19 AM
It's the same reason people will read the shampoo bottle in the WC if they didn't bring a periodical to peruse.

Constipation?

chagrin
05-15-2007, 09:36 AM
why was he uncomfortable with you? Were you farting up a storm or what?

Saulbadguy
05-15-2007, 09:39 AM
Why do people always look down?

Frazod
05-15-2007, 09:41 AM
In my building there is a little monitor in each elevator that flashes various news items, sports scores, trivia, etc. Now everybody stares at the screen - no more uncomfortable potential for have to :eek: interract with strangers :eek:

But boy, if the monitor isn't working, we just don't know what to do :eek:

Saulbadguy
05-15-2007, 09:45 AM
I always hate it when people get on the elevator to go down one floor. Use the stairs, you lazy ****ers.

KC-TBB
05-15-2007, 09:51 AM
best one was a freind of mine waited until the elevator was FULL of all these stuffy looking types and he turns to me and says, "how is that court case with you and the 14 year old girl going?" GEEZ you could feel the stares...and what do you say...I just got off the next floor and beat feet.

Redrum_69
05-15-2007, 09:56 AM
Every night after work I always push the ground key knowing I'm always parked at the first floor. IN doing so, it guarantees the elevator will go straight to the ground floor. When I get off at the first floor, I press the 2, 3, 4, 5 floor keys, and then get out and press the up key on the first floor. I usually do this when I know my friends are at the top floor waiting for the damn elevator.

keg in kc
05-15-2007, 09:57 AM
Why do people always look down?I do it to admire the size of my magnificant codpiece. I'm not sure what the rest of you have as a motivation.

sedated
05-15-2007, 10:03 AM
I like to fill up a large trash can full of water and lean it against the closed elevator door

Redrum_69
05-15-2007, 10:10 AM
I like to fill up a large trash can full of water and lean it against the closed elevator door


:eek: :eek: :eek:

StcChief
05-15-2007, 10:34 AM
How about the large man racing out of elevator needed to take a big poop/diarhea.... :)

Iowanian
05-15-2007, 10:51 AM
I usually try to break the uncomfortable silence with an ass burp.

StcChief
05-15-2007, 11:00 AM
I usually try to break the uncomfortable silence with an ass burp.
ROFL Elevator Etiquette..... calling Emilie Post.