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View Full Version : I Shouldn't Be Alive!! Your Dances With Death.


Bwana
05-15-2007, 08:22 AM
Another thread got me thinking about various brushes with death throughout the years. What is the closest you have come to taking a dirt nap, kicking the bucket, cashing in the chips? Did you get hurt, or did it just scare the hell out of you?

I had one incident where I had a car going sideways around a corner at about 100 MPH. (No damage to me or the car) I have been bucked off several horses and landed in strange positions. (Bruises, but no broken bones) I have had an ATV on its side being drug along a pine tree, one sharp branch and I would have been toast. (Very lucky there) I have had guns pulled on me three times, knives twice. (Never shot or stabbed) Hell, I'm just getting warmed up here.


Dances with death, there is going to be some stories out there, lets hear them.

:reaper:

kepp
05-15-2007, 08:32 AM
I came within about 20 feet of getting plowed under by a train when I was 17. I was "cruising" in the small town where I grew up and didn't look when crossing the tracks...didn't even see the warning lights. I get right in the middle of the crossing, look to my right, and all I could see was the grill of the engine. I about soiled my droors.

Planetman
05-15-2007, 08:34 AM
I once tugged on Superman's cape, spit into the wind, pulled the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger, but, at the last moment, I came to my senses and decided not to mess around with Jim.

Bwana
05-15-2007, 08:37 AM
I once tugged on Superman's cape, spit into the wind, pulled the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger, but, at the last moment, I came to my senses and decided not to mess around with Jim.

That's good, because Jim is a bad bad man! :eek:

Phobia
05-15-2007, 08:38 AM
I've had a few brushes, mostly during my idiot youth or during my time serving with Uncle Sam's Misguided Children.

Planetman
05-15-2007, 08:40 AM
That's good, because Jim is a bad bad man! :eek:
Slim would disagree with you. http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jim+croce/you+dont+mess+around+with+jim_10149470.html ;)

Skip Towne
05-15-2007, 08:41 AM
Another thread got me thinking about various brushes with death throughout the years. What is the closest you have come to taking a dirt nap, kicking the bucket, cashing in the chips? Did you get hurt, or did it just scare the hell out of you?

I had one incident where I had a car going sideways around a corner at about 100 MPH. (No damage to me or the car) I have been bucked off several horses and landed in strange positions. (Bruises, but no broken bones) I have had an ATV on its side being drug along a pine tree, one sharp branch and I would have been toast. (Very lucky there) I have had guns pulled on me three times, knives twice. (Never shot or stabbed) Hell, I'm just getting warmed up here.


Dances with death, there is going to be some stories out there, lets hear them.

:reaper:
Why do people pull weapons on you?

Hound333
05-15-2007, 08:52 AM
Only had a few times. The normal ones when I drove home drunk with friends (in college when i was stupid)

I was sick once and for 20 seconds my airway was closed and couldn't breath. Scared the crap out of me.

Archie F. Swin
05-15-2007, 08:53 AM
While I was a teen, I was driving home from my girlfriends house at night on a two lane road that intersected a railroad with no signal/barrier. I must have had the stereo up cause I did not near a train whistle. I was going 50-60mph and all I saw was the headlights of a vehicle waiting on the train on the other side. If it hadn't been for that nameless/faceless person I may have died that night. Chances are I would have driven right into that train had they not been there.

Bwana
05-15-2007, 08:54 AM
Why do people pull weapons on you?
Heh! Various reasons.

Heh! Various reasons.

Guns:

1. One guy had road rage because I had passed him on the Interstate.

2. One guy that owned a hotel accused a bunch of buddies and I of wrecking his screen door to access the hotel hot tub. The guy was drunk and we weren’t even around his hot tub.

3. Don't get liquored up, followed up by walking around downtown with buddies on the way back to the truck flipping hookers crap. That happened when I was 21.

In cases one and two, I was armed and the other person didn't have a clue. In the hot tub incident, I thought I was going to have to drop him.

Knives:

1. I was at a bar and a guy pulled a knife on a friend. I got involved.

2. I was walking into a bar with a girlfriend and some bum got agitated when I told him I wouldn't give him money and pulled one.

wilas101
05-15-2007, 08:56 AM
I was at JRTC when it was still at Ft. Chaffee and we were doing a live fire trench clearing exercise. Went through the whole bit... arty popped smoke on the hilltop, engineer detachment breached the triple strand with a bangelor (sp?)... lots of noise and smoke basically.

My fire team was first though the wire so when it was breached I led my guys through, hung a right just as we'd rehearsed, went 50 or so feet and found the trench just as they'd described it and we proceeded to clear. Tossed in grenades, made more noise, entered the trench and cleared a bunker. We were having quite the good time until I got up the the first corner.

I knew something was up because the corner went to the left when everything we'd rehearsed showed it going to the right. I stopped everyone and took a quick look around the corner to figure out where we were when I realized WE weren't all there. As I peeked around the corner I saw a silloute target just down the trench, fire opened up and rounds proceeded past my head.

I ended up getting everyone that was with me pushed back into the bunker we'd just cleared as I screamed into the radio for a cease fire.

Everything got stopped, we re-grouped and tagged onto the end of the clearing force and finshed the objective. We had our after actions review and everyone figured out what went wrong. It turned out the breach was in the wrong location and the amount of smoke on the target when I entered it made it impossible to see so I followed instructions. After half the company went through the breach the smoke had cleared enough to see and someone noticed the entry point wasn't in the right place so they went to it and started clearing toward us instead of staying together.

Then the most typical Army thing happened.

The Brigade commander had been monitoring the radios during the mission and apparently my 4 letter tirade while trying to get a cease fire called wasn't proper radio protocol. So he came up to the objective and proceeded to chew my @ss for my cursing on the radio.

Afterward the Brigade Command Sergeant Major took me aside and told me not to worry about it and that he'd make sure I didn't get in any trouble over it. He said "Had that dumb mother******er been shooting at me I would have shot back as I cussed him on the radio".

So, to make a long story long thats one of my most memorable near death experiences.

Ultra Peanut
05-15-2007, 08:59 AM
I got into an argument on the internet once. Afterwards I was like, "Whoaaaaa."

chagrin
05-15-2007, 08:59 AM
When I was 5 or 6, my Father took my brother and myself out fishing in a row boat, on this pond.

A huge Gator climbed into the boat and my Father beat on the gator with the Oar, after a while it went away. I was very scared, don't know how close to death I was...

A Grade III Anaplastic Astrocytoma, in the left temporal lobe of my brain, the size of a softball; very nasty brian cancer, a full recuperation 1 of every 3 who have it.

I have been hit by a car, only left with a broken hand.

Archie F. Swin
05-15-2007, 09:02 AM
Then the most typical Army thing happened.

The Brigade commander had been monitoring the radios during the mission and apparently my 4 letter tirade while trying to get a cease fire called wasn't proper radio protocol. So he came up to the objective and proceeded to chew my @ss for my cursing on the radio.


That would have been a good time to engage the PTT button on your radio
:cuss: :D

kepp
05-15-2007, 09:11 AM
I got into an argument on the internet once. Afterwards I was like, "Whoaaaaa."
Holy crap! Do you still have all your fingers?

Phobia
05-15-2007, 09:12 AM
Holy crap! Do you still have all your fingers?They were removed in a surgical accident.

Hog Farmer
05-15-2007, 09:17 AM
Fell off a motorcycle going 70 and slid directly under an oncoming car. Right under and out the back side. Lost all the skin on my back and a dislocated hip. Wasn't wearing a shirt. They say if I'd been wearing a helment I probably would have gotten hung up under the car. Note to self "7 bottles of cheap wine and motorcycles don't mix."

kepp
05-15-2007, 09:20 AM
Fell off a motorcycle going 70 and slid directly under an oncoming car. Right under and out the back side. Lost all the skin on my back and a dislocated hip. Wasn't wearing a shirt. They say if I'd been wearing a helment I probably would have gotten hung up under the car. Note to self "7 bottles of cheap wine and motorcycles don't mix."
I had a drunk motorcycle accident once. My friend was driving and I was on the back...we were both drunk. We were on back roads only going about 35 though. My friend forgot about a 90 degree turn and went straight into the ditch. We ended up only inches from a barbed wire fence.

HemiEd
05-15-2007, 09:23 AM
Several, but three that I don't mind sharing.

1971, riding a brand new Honda 350 back to work (US Naval Air Station) after lunch and was in a hurry. I was doing about 55, when a Nova made a u-turn, and totaly blocked both of my lanes. Parked cars and oncoming traffic prevented me from escaping. Totalled the bike and broke my back, helmet kept me alive. It was a Bell, with a long gouge the totally went through the helmet from the accident. The driver of the Nova, turned out to be a Navy Steward (philipino) that had rented the car using a Navy forklift drivers license.

I was out in Dodge City, in a club that had a solinoid on the door, rough joint, playing pool. One of the patrons did not like what I was doing, and shot a hand gun off, right behind my head. I made an exit very soon.

I think it was 1977, I ran out the back of a bar (playing pitch) and was hit by a girl driving a VW down the alley.
What saved my life, I had thought about what I would do, in this case many times prior.
As soon as I saw I was going to get hit, I jumped straight up in the air. It happened almost instinctivly, since I had rehearsed it in my mind so many times.
Several witnesses saw me get knocked about 10 feet in the air, and land right next to a 4 inch post sticking out of the ground. I got up, dusted myself off, suit was torn all to hell. The witnesses and the driver went into shock.
I caved in the hood and knocked out the windshield of the VW.
Like and idiot, I did not even go to the doctor. The young lady did get a ticket, the cop told her to quit crying, I was the guy that got hit. LMAO

Baconeater
05-15-2007, 09:46 AM
The closest I've ever been to death was when I was 19 or 20, I (stupidly) got into a car with someone who had no business with a driver's license. He was doing around 90 on a two lane street here in town, shortly after a rainfall, when someone pulled out in front of us. He had no choice but to take the ditch. We slid sideways about 300 feet or so crossing a couple side streets, narrowly missing a streetlight on the second one (which later on an accident investigator told us if we would have clipped it with the front of the car, it would've likely sent us into a nearby house), took out about 10 posts from a wooden privacy fence that was under construction and then the car finally came to a stop when it got high-centered on a railroad tie wall. Luckily, the undercarraige of the car took the brunt of the force so we weren't injured.

Saulbadguy
05-15-2007, 09:49 AM
Ate at Taco Tico. I'll never make that mistake again.

ROYC75
05-15-2007, 09:58 AM
Ate at Taco Tico. I'll never make that mistake again.


ROFL That's funny ........

HemiEd
05-15-2007, 09:59 AM
Ate at Taco Tico. I'll never make that mistake again.

They have truly gone to shit, gawdawful. I would say food poisening should be expected after a visit there.
At one time, especially back in the 60s, their food was really very good.

Bwana
05-15-2007, 10:03 AM
I had a drunk motorcycle accident once. My friend was driving and I was on the back...we were both drunk. We were on back roads only going about 35 though. My friend forgot about a 90 degree turn and went straight into the ditch. We ended up only inches from a barbed wire fence.

That reminds me of my first sky diving jump. There is a little town about 15 miles from here where they had a so called sky diving "school." A buddy and I showed up, they gave you the 101 on jumping, pulling the cord and proper landing procedure. :hmmm:

What they didn't consider was the 25 MPH winds that day and what that might do to ones trajectory, particularly after the parachute is deployed.

Now keep in mind, at the "Jed Clampet school of sky diving," they didn't start you out with a tandem jump and or a static line jump, it was jump, pull the cord, if that one doesn't open, try chute two. If one panicked and didn't open the chute, you were going to make the news. I went first from 8000 feet, I hit the proper level and deployed my parachute. What a fantastic view, my God, this is great I'm thinking. But wait, I'm starting to drift away from the landing zone, hard crank on the left chute handle, aww yes, back on track. :)

All was well until I hit about 200 feet and the cross winds caught me again. :eek: As I was drifting sideways, I notice a man eater, AKA a barbwire fence in the sky diving business, directly below. I had to give a last minute hard crank on the right handle to avoiding the thing, landed sideways and ended up bounding several times before I could get the chute to fold up. My buddy drifted about 3 miles away and ended up in a corn field after drifting over several power lines, the Yellowstone River and numerous tall trees. I went right back up and jumped again that day, he has never done it again.

ROYC75
05-15-2007, 10:03 AM
I was lucky once, rolled a milk truck over 4 times , no seat belt, had a 100 # tool box and 2 hugh hydralic 40# truck jacks, tire tools,etc in the floorboard. All of it was flying around and ended up outside of the truck when it came to a stop. Any of that stuff that was loose could have smashed my head during that ride......

The only other time I got blown off of Hwy 169 North of Paola,Ks on a Yamaha 650 street bike. Crested a hill and a side wind blew me right off the road into the ditch and up alongside a fence row before I got it stopped. Talking about an omen, I just bought it and was riding it home that same day. I bout took it back.......

wutamess
05-15-2007, 10:12 AM
Last year around this time I was "helping" my laborer install a 200 amp electrical panel. He went outside to do something while I was busy screwing the various wires into the panel.

I reached for the screw-driver and luckily I had my hand on the plastic/rubber part. I touched the hot part of the electrical panel with the end of the screw driver. Sparks flew everywhere and my flat head screwdriver was now a shank.

He heard the commotion from outside and yelled to see if I was ok. Scared the living shit out of me.

I immediately told the laborer to go fugg himself as I wouldn't be of any more assistance.

Redrum_69
05-15-2007, 10:12 AM
THe closest I ever came was right after I picked up an overshield and my trigger finger launched a rocket at the person running to me firing his shotgun. If it wasnt for my overshield I would have been toast

pr_capone
05-15-2007, 10:14 AM
I had a dukes of hazard like moment.

I was driving along behind this gigantic truck... the kind with 234 inch mudding wheels and a lift kit.

Anyhow, this guy swerves all of a sudden and for some reason my focus went with the truck as opposed to looking at why he swerved.

As soon as I look back to the road I am already hitting cones. Apparently, Aquila thot it would be wise to park in the middle of the fuggin street and set cones out only about 10 feet behind their trailer.

I immediately turn the wheel to the left and apply the brakes but it was too late. I hit the left ramp going about 45 MPH or so and caught air.

While I was up in the air I had time to hope that it would land where the car would just slam down, I could replace the rims, shocks, and whatever else bent from the impact. Then I felt gravity pull me to the door so I knew it would not be pretty.

I didnt have my seatbelt on so I climbed up and put my feet on the seat and braced myself against the roof of the car. The sound the car made when it hit was sick.... ripping and tearing metal are not my favorite sounds.

Thankfully, I did not get ejected from the car BUT the driver's side roof was smashed down quite a bit, so much so that I believe the roof might have snapped my neck had I been wearing a seatbelt that held me in place.

boogblaster
05-15-2007, 10:17 AM
Having worked personel-protection, Ive came close way too many times to mention....

BigRedChief
05-15-2007, 10:42 AM
I could write a book on the stupid ass chit that I did between the ages of 18 and 30 while I was traveling around the world. I'm very lucky to be alive. I've posted a few of my close brushes with death on here before.

crazycoffey
05-15-2007, 10:43 AM
I've seen the wrong end of a gun a few times, a few bad accidents, many many stupid acts as a teenager. I should thank my lucky stars or guardian angels more often than I do.

Archie F. Swin
05-15-2007, 10:47 AM
Last year around this time I was "helping" my laborer install a 200 amp electrical panel. He went outside to do something while I was busy screwing the various wires into the panel.

I reached for the screw-driver and luckily I had my hand on the plastic/rubber part. I touched the hot part of the electrical panel with the end of the screw driver. Sparks flew everywhere and my flat head screwdriver was now a shank.

He heard the commotion from outside and yelled to see if I was ok. Scared the living shit out of me.

I immediately told the laborer to go fugg himself as I wouldn't be of any more assistance.

I'm sorry for your near-death experience, but that last line made me laugh out loud!

Easy 6
05-15-2007, 12:46 PM
Theres just too many for me to sit down & type out in detail.

Had a gun put to my head for about 5 minutes one night.

A bunch of civilian auto near fatals.

Nearly toppled down the sides of many mountains & hills in my narrow wheel based & very top heavy Army SEE-Tractor. Sometimes i was in the cab, sometimes on the back operating the backhoe.

A leg of a flight home from Alaska on leave, from Minneapolis to Chicago in a severe thunderstorm that even had the attendants shaking & near tears.

Had i made 1 wrong move with the guy in KC's rots & pits it would have been coytins.

Missed being killed by a speeding city bus in LA by an inch or 2 at most, this one may have been the worst, i have no idea what kept me from stepping off that curb. I was shook up for a week.

Had a tumor taken out of me at 8.

Healed of cancerous lesions by a famous faith healer at 16.

Thats a few of the lowlights.

Redrum_69
05-15-2007, 12:50 PM
Missed being killed by a speeding city bus in LA by an inch or 2 at most, this one may have been the worst, i have no idea what kept me from stepping off that curb. I was shook up for a week.



Was Sandra Bullock the driver?

Easy 6
05-15-2007, 12:51 PM
Was Sandra Bullock the driver?

Heh, it was going WAY too fast to tell.

elvomito
05-15-2007, 01:05 PM
I've been traveling at high rates of speed and had a deer jump in front of my car from behind a bush. a quick reaction and unlikely maneuver saved me from hitting him but it seems impossible that tires could make a car do that.

same type of maneuver, rainy highway. some dumbass just swerves in front of me in the left lane and slams on the brakes. a quick turn to the right then left and i narrowly miss two vehicles. adrenaline high for a long time. normally i wouldn't expect a car's tires to perform like that and i don't see how i made it between them.

someone tried to rob me, stuck a gun to my stomach. i got outta that with all my money and my well-being. in retrospect, i suppose he was a bitch, a real robber probably woulda shot

deaths/near deaths i 've been close to:
435 east, i was driving in the left lane in rush hour, about 65mph. my lane was clear, however, the lane next to me was at a complete standstill about 1/2mile up. someone in that lane was tailing me, matched speed, probably just driving at my pace unaware of the surroundings. well, i keep driving and they do to, they don't even slow down for the congestion and rear end the slow moving car in front of them. all i see in my rearview mirror is a big steam cloud from the exploding radiator and car debris flying everywhere.

big nasty kcnut
05-15-2007, 01:07 PM
I was in a tornado between wichita and hutchinson. almost drowned.Almost killed myself from heartbreak.

whtgldwldr
05-15-2007, 01:16 PM
I've only got a couple really good brushes with death...but I'm only 19 and the both happened in the last year....so i've got time to catch up.

1: My friend mouthed off to a bunch of football players (all black) and the 6 of the beat him down. I got involved and ended up with a concussion and whatnot. I didn't think anything of it, but I was told later that they had knives and the police scared them off...

2: I'm an idiot when it comes to alchohol. So one night I tried to show off for my fraternity brothers. The next day I awoke from a coma in a hospital with tubes in practically every hole of my body (yes, even the dickhole). They told me they actually had to bring me back twice, and that I couldn't breath on my own. They honestly thought I would never wake up, because apparently my BAC was like...really high. Like .39ish, so technically I should be dead. GO ME!

CoMoChief
05-15-2007, 02:08 PM
A few years ago I worked at UPS hub in KC off of James St, and I got out of work late one night and it was snowing really really hard. I was going about 20mph on the interstate (so was everyone else too) and I started to slide and I was spinning in circles all over the road. there was a major dropoff from the road and I was sliding towards it. I finally stopped spinning only to be faced in the wrong direction against traffic and a semi truck was coming at me. Luckly he saw it and was able to stop because I for sure would have been ran over.

Simply Red
05-15-2007, 02:10 PM
Heh! Various reasons.

Heh! Various reasons.

Guns:

1. One guy had road rage because I had passed him on the Interstate.

2. One guy that owned a hotel accused a bunch of buddies and I of wrecking his screen door to access the hotel hot tub. The guy was drunk and we weren’t even around his hot tub.

3. Don't get liquored up, followed up by walking around downtown with buddies on the way back to the truck flipping hookers crap. That happened when I was 21.

In cases one and two, I was armed and the other person didn't have a clue. In the hot tub incident, I thought I was going to have to drop him.

Knives:

1. I was at a bar and a guy pulled a knife on a friend. I got involved.

2. I was walking into a bar with a girlfriend and some bum got agitated when I told him I wouldn't give him money and pulled one.

catagorizing?

nice.

Hog Farmer
05-15-2007, 02:16 PM
Fell in to the slurry pit one time, ever try to swim in quicksand.

MOhillbilly
05-15-2007, 02:44 PM
im not sure why my parents didnt kill me.

ill kill my kids if they try any of that shit.

Bill Parcells
05-15-2007, 03:36 PM
I was on a propeller plane going from Key West to Miami in '96,it was 82 degrees and sunny in Key West,and 65 degrees and raining in Miami..I think we were flying at 9,000 ft..the pilot says put on your seat belts,we are approaching turbulence..well,I look outside and there are black purple clouds we are going to be flying into..the flight attendant had just poured me a drink,when suddenly my ass flew out of the seat and the soda flew out of the cup and stuck to the ceiling :eek: ..I tightened my seat belt after that and bent the arm rest while the woman behind me was screaming her lungs out...the cart for the sodas almost started flying around the cabin (the attendant was holding it down and was scared shitless)..after 15 minutes of this shit everything was fine..NEVER AGAIN will I fly on a propeller plane in my life..NEVER! I kissed the ground in Miami.

kepp
05-15-2007, 03:41 PM
I was on a propeller plane going from Key West to Miami in '96,it was 82 degrees and sunny in Key West,and 65 degrees and raining in Miami..I think we were flying at 9,000 ft..the pilot says put on your seat belts,we are approaching turbulence..well,I look outside and there are black purple clouds we are going to be flying into..the flight attendant had just poured me a drink,when suddenly my ass flew out of the seat and the soda flew out of the cup and stuck to the ceiling :eek: ..I tightened my seat belt after that and bent the arm rest while the woman behind me was screaming her lungs out...the cart for the sodas almost started flying around the cabin (the attendant was holding it down and was scared shitless)..after 15 minutes of this shit everything was fine..NEVER AGAIN will I fly on a propeller plane in my life..NEVER! I kissed the ground in Miami.
Yep...I flew on a prop plane into a small airport in Arkansas (Little Rock, I think). That thing was all over the place. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

rtmike
05-15-2007, 03:59 PM
Back when I still lived in Western Kansas we were out at the Lake for Labor Day weekend. My three wheeler was there for everyone to ride. A couple guys came back from riding it and said they were chased so we sent the state wrestling champ over there. Several minutes went by so we piled in a car to go over and check. They were scrapping when we showed up. My buddy (the driver) gets out and I'm in the back seat. As I'm getting out he falls back into me. The dude stabbed him in the jugular, died on the spot.
A bunch of us are yarding on a dead tree branch in a tree to make a fire. It came down and smacked me square in the nose. My nose was down on my lip and it was a compound break. Slight concussion.
We were building an addition on the Portland Airport Parking Structure setting a bunch of steel. I heard someone screaming it's coming down and looked up and seen the connectors running in mid air and the 4 stories of iron all coming down. It killed all 3 of the iron workers and landed up against the crane. I was the crane oiler.
At the coast riding in the sand dunes Turkey Day '03, my buddy sprays me with sand so I'm off chasing him. It was storming and my goggles were covered in sand. I followed him off a 40' widow's peak and my Banshee caught the back of his Polaris ripping the handlebars out of my hands causing me to face plant on the bike. I was wearing all my gear but broke my back shoving a piece of spine into my spinal cord, paralyzed from the waist down.
June of last year, 2 strokes and 5 days in a coma.

I've left out several other (minor) occurances. I can hardly wait for what's next.

HemiEd
05-15-2007, 04:05 PM
Yep...I flew on a prop plane into a small airport in Arkansas (Little Rock, I think). That thing was all over the place. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

Prop planes are real flying, "crowd killers" like the 757s and such don't give you the real feel. :D

Back when I still lived in Western Kansas we were out at the Lake for Labor Day weekend. My three wheeler was there for everyone to ride. A couple guys came back from riding it and said they were chased so we sent the state wrestling champ over there. Several minutes went by so we piled in a car to go over and check. They were scrapping when we showed up. My buddy (the driver) gets out and I'm in the back seat. As I'm getting out he falls back into me. The dude stabbed him in the jugular, died on the spot.
A bunch of us are yarding on a dead tree branch in a tree to make a fire. It came down and smacked me square in the nose. My nose was down on my lip and it was a compound break. Slight concussion.
We were building an addition on the Portland Airport Parking Structure setting a bunch of steel. I heard someone screaming it's coming down and looked up and seen the connectors running in mid air and the 4 stories of iron all coming down. It killed all 3 of the iron workers and landed up against the crane. I was the crane oiler.
At the coast riding in the sand dunes Turkey Day '03, my buddy sprays me with sand so I'm off chasing him. It was storming and my goggles were covered in sand. I followed him off a 40' widow's peak and my Banshee caught the back of his Polaris ripping the handlebars out of my hands causing me to face plant on the bike. I was wearing all my gear but broke my back shoving a piece of spine into my spinal cord, paralyzed from the waist down.
June of last year, 2 strokes and 5 days in a coma.

I've left out several other (minor) occurances. I can hardly wait for what's next.

speechless.

Iowanian
05-15-2007, 04:06 PM
In HS, I was run over by a minivan, knocked ahole in my esophogus somehow my jr year, and had my ribs stomped in during "the great cow wreck of Iowania" that also busted momowanian up pretty badly. I fell off a car hood among many other stupid, young drunken close calls. In 96 I hit a van broadside with no seatbelt and crushed a steering wheel, dash and windshield with my head and face.

there have been plenty of " missed me by * * much" things, the same as most others.


I feel very fortunate, and am glad I've matured and slowed down.

Dicky McElephant
05-15-2007, 04:13 PM
Back when I still lived in Western Kansas we were out at the Lake for Labor Day weekend. My three wheeler was there for everyone to ride. A couple guys came back from riding it and said they were chased so we sent the state wrestling champ over there. Several minutes went by so we piled in a car to go over and check. They were scrapping when we showed up. My buddy (the driver) gets out and I'm in the back seat. As I'm getting out he falls back into me. The dude stabbed him in the jugular, died on the spot.
A bunch of us are yarding on a dead tree branch in a tree to make a fire. It came down and smacked me square in the nose. My nose was down on my lip and it was a compound break. Slight concussion.
We were building an addition on the Portland Airport Parking Structure setting a bunch of steel. I heard someone screaming it's coming down and looked up and seen the connectors running in mid air and the 4 stories of iron all coming down. It killed all 3 of the iron workers and landed up against the crane. I was the crane oiler.
At the coast riding in the sand dunes Turkey Day '03, my buddy sprays me with sand so I'm off chasing him. It was storming and my goggles were covered in sand. I followed him off a 40' widow's peak and my Banshee caught the back of his Polaris ripping the handlebars out of my hands causing me to face plant on the bike. I was wearing all my gear but broke my back shoving a piece of spine into my spinal cord, paralyzed from the waist down.
June of last year, 2 strokes and 5 days in a coma.

I've left out several other (minor) occurances. I can hardly wait for what's next.

Jesus.....I think you win.

Bwana
05-15-2007, 04:19 PM
Back when I still lived in Western Kansas we were out at the Lake for Labor Day weekend. My three wheeler was there for everyone to ride. A couple guys came back from riding it and said they were chased so we sent the state wrestling champ over there. Several minutes went by so we piled in a car to go over and check. They were scrapping when we showed up. My buddy (the driver) gets out and I'm in the back seat. As I'm getting out he falls back into me. The dude stabbed him in the jugular, died on the spot.
A bunch of us are yarding on a dead tree branch in a tree to make a fire. It came down and smacked me square in the nose. My nose was down on my lip and it was a compound break. Slight concussion.
We were building an addition on the Portland Airport Parking Structure setting a bunch of steel. I heard someone screaming it's coming down and looked up and seen the connectors running in mid air and the 4 stories of iron all coming down. It killed all 3 of the iron workers and landed up against the crane. I was the crane oiler.
At the coast riding in the sand dunes Turkey Day '03, my buddy sprays me with sand so I'm off chasing him. It was storming and my goggles were covered in sand. I followed him off a 40' widow's peak and my Banshee caught the back of his Polaris ripping the handlebars out of my hands causing me to face plant on the bike. I was wearing all my gear but broke my back shoving a piece of spine into my spinal cord, paralyzed from the waist down.
June of last year, 2 strokes and 5 days in a coma.

I've left out several other (minor) occurances. I can hardly wait for what's next.

Son of a bitch! Damn dude, you have more lives than a cat. :eek:

StcChief
05-15-2007, 04:53 PM
rtmike wins this by a long shot.....

rtmike
05-15-2007, 06:21 PM
I don't think I ever told anyone all the stuff except maybe my wife.
I couldn't pass this thread up tho, lol.

big nasty kcnut
05-15-2007, 06:35 PM
RTmike dang man you trying to top us all you win.

Smed1065
05-15-2007, 09:22 PM
Two come to mind for me.

The first one I was shot at in a bad neighborhood. I was lost while going to visit my family in a new city. I took a wrong turn or two and ended up in the wrong part of town. It was just getting dark so I decided I better stop and ask for directions at a convenience store. As I was getting back to my truck, I noticed two figures coming towards me so I got into my truck , shut and locked the door when they approached. As I am starting my truck the came up to my window and flashed a gun. I just put the truck in reverse and floored it while cranking the wheel trying to run over one of them.
I heard a loud pop sound but did not stop to see if I had hit one of them or what it was. When I got to a safe area, I check my truck and there was a bullet hole in the drivers door, just below the door handle. The bullet had entered the door and actually was stopped by the rod that connects the handle to unlock the door. It took me a few minutes to gain my composure after finding this out. I had to replace the little thin rod connecting rod so I could open my door from the outside.

The other time happened when I was in the Army in Air Assault school and was doing my qualifying rappel. We had 14 days of training but had only actually rappelled from a 50 foot tower for training.
We went up in a UH-60 for qualifying. As I stepped out on the skid to hook up, the chopper suddenly dipped to the right and one of my feet slipped off the skid. Thank goodness the trainer had a hold of my right arm as I was still trying to hook up or I would have had a free fall to my death. I remember the trainers eyes as I slipped and I am sure mine were about 10 x's as big as his.

Only the good die young is all I could think of.

Archie F. Swin
05-15-2007, 09:32 PM
In HS, I was run over by a minivan, knocked ahole in my esophogus somehow my jr year,

wait a minute...your ahole got knocked into your esophagus?

tmax63
05-15-2007, 10:34 PM
Halloween of 79 2 buddies and I did the Dukes of Hazzard thing, mailbox, multiple fence posts, through the field then jumped a small creek and landed in a brushpile. Shortened up my buddies old Impala about 2 and a half feet. Nurse giving me a tetanus shot in the ER had a big-assed hickie on her neck. Learned you don't give nurses crap until after they've given you the shot. My arm hurt longer from the shot than from the stitches.

whoaskew
05-15-2007, 10:51 PM
I am sure I am missing a few but here goes


8 years old: At a pool at Minute Circle, saw the grown folks jumping in the deep end so I did too, too bad I couldn't swim. I was stuck in the middle, couldn't hit the bottom to push myself to the top with my legs, too low from the top to reach my arms up and wave for help. After a few minutes, I closed my eyes and gave up, thinking - this is it, at that point some guy pulled me out (I never found out who he was)


11 years old - I am visiting my (mentally unbalance) biological father, sitting in the living room with him while he is cleaning his gun, he points it at me and pulls the trigger five times then bursts out laughing hysterically - at that point I realized why my mother wouldn't let me go live with him (I'll share the story of how he ended up crazy at a different time)


13 years old - My cousin lived two blocks from me and I was at his house visiting. My mother told me that I had to be home at 7pm, so I would always leave at 6:58pm, thinking I should get there in 2 minutes. One day I did that and I was going down a driveway that led to a busy intersection (23rd Street near I-70) and didn't realize that the driveway was covered with rocks. I hit the brakes on my 10 speed and slid out into the middle of traffic. I looked to my left and saw that it was an old couple coming downhill straight at me. The drivers eyes were so big, I knew he was in shock, and I kept thinking "Ah, Shit he is gonna **** my leg up!!!" so I put my left leg on top of the bike. The car hit it and I slid across the other three lanes of traffic. Fortunately I had on jeans and a hoodie or I would have been skinned by the asphalt. The driver and a lot of neighbors and other concerned people ran over to me and surrounded me. I got up and they were trying to force me to be still. I kept yelling, Y'all need to get out the way, I only have like one minute left to get home!!! I tried to get on my bike, but then realized that the rear half of the bike was bent at a 90 degree angle from the impact so I couldn't ride it. By then, I heard sirens from the ambulance and the crowd around me had gotten bigger. I noticed that my mother was driving towards the intersection on her way home and I kept yelling to get her attention. I heard one of the neighbors tell her what happened and I saw my mother break down panicking, No, not my baby!, crying instantly, and I kept yelling Mom, I'm okay, but she couldn't hear me. Eventually she saw me and nearly tackled me, checking to see if I was okay. I told her I was okay, but of course she forced me to go to the hospital anyway. After that she told me that instead of having to be home at 7pm that I had to leave at 7pm, but be careful on my way home.


15 years old - riding with a 16 year old friend of mine down prospect near 29th street (passing by Jimmy D's for you locals) we are passing out free beer that my friend stole from his job at Crown Center to the women on the sidewalk - we hear gunshots and ducked down in the front seats and floored the gas, it felt like we drove for like five blocks and it was a miracle that we didn't run into anybody or anything since we weren't looking


17 years old - It was two weeks before I left for college and I had a POS car. It broke down on 40hwy and I had to go get help. I remembered that there was a mechanic shop next to McDonald's on Van Brunt so I started walking Westbound on 40 hwy to get there. Eventually, the sidewalk disappeared and I was walking on what was the top of a very steep hill. It had rained earlier, and I slipped. As I sas sliding down this monster of a hill, I saw an oncoming Metro Bus that I knew was going to hit me. Somehow when I reached the bottom of the hill, right before I would have went in front of the bus, I stopped sliding. I don't know why or what I hit if anything, but I stopped, and the bus passed me by. As luck would have it, when I got to Van Brunt the mechanic shop was closed down. In fact I beleive it is still vacant to this day.


18 years old - I drove home to KC for the weekend. On Sunday morning, it was time to go back so we loaded up and hit the highway. I was tired as hell from going out the night before, so I had the friend who rode with me drive. I was sleep in the passenger seat when I heard a loud BANG. I jumped up and looked in the side mirror and saw huge flames coming from beneath the car. I started yelling PULL OVER!!! PULL OVER!!! which he finally did. We ran as far as we could from the car and watched the flames engulf the car. A tow truck came and I called my girlfriend to come get us. We were only 30 minutes outside of KC so she had to drive an hour and a half to pick us up. She arrived and asked were we okay. I replied sure and talked to her for about 20 minutes. We were about to leave and she asked if she could see the car. We drove behind the Amoco where it was towed and she started panicking again- OH MY GOD!!! YOU WERE IN THAT???


19 years old - Same girlfriend from before decided to come to KC with me for the weekend. This big, buff football player from school asks if he can ride with us and I agree. It is late at night and we are riding on I-70 doing around 80 mph. My front driver's side tire blows out, which causes my rear driver's side tire to blow out too and the car starts swerving. I begin steering and countersteering, trying to keep the car straight until I can slow down, which is nearly impossible with only two tires functioning. Eventually, the car spins wildly out of control, spinning like a top on I-70 doing 80mph. I remain calm, staying focused to try to keep from crossing the median on one side of the highway and to keep from going off the big hill on the other side. I'm calm, my girlfriend wakes up and clenches my hand that is on the gear shift. The big football player in the back of my Cavalier wakes up screaming his ass off the whole time AAAAHHHH AAAAHHHH AAAAHHHH. We eventually go off the hill and I expect the car to begin flipping violently. We hit the smallest bush you can imagine and somehow it absorbed our impact and we stopped right there, with no damage to us or the car. Me and my girlfriend looked back at the big dude and laughed our asses off - not at the accident but at how he handled himself.


21 years old - I was riding with a friend who thought he could make a left turn before traffic hit us. He thought wrong and the car was t-boned by oncoming traffic on the passenger side - my side. The Hyundai he was driving was beat up and I had the worst headache imaginable, but I was alive.


25 years old - I rode with my dad en route to the auto parts store on Truman Road. It had been raining that day and some idiot was driving too fast. He crossed into our lane and hit us head on. My dad had sore ribs, and I had a massively broken arm. The EMTs used the jaws of life to get us out of our mangled Van and they put us on stretchers laying in the middle of the street. I got to the hospital and the nurse started moving my arm in all kinds of directions and I literally wanted to kill that Bitch. (The doctor later told me that she should have first gave me some painkiller before she started moving my arm). The doctor told me that since both major bones were broken, he couldn't just put me in a cast and send me home like normal. I needed immediate surgery - complete with plates, pins, screws, etc. I had surgery the next day and I had an allergic reaction to the anesthetic. My temperature shot up to 107 degrees and I was told that any hotter and I would have died instantly.


28 years old - I went to Club Kandy a few months ago, ignoring the voice in my head that has kept me away for years. I was inside the club and heard gunshots. I don't know if the shots were inside or out, but everyone in the bar started running towards the backdoor. I did too, and ended up running outside near the back alley. A bouncer came to close the door, told us there were no shots and that we could come back in through the front door. I was thinking bullshit, I know what gunshots sound like, so I tried calling the people I rode with who were still inside. I decided I would go back in and grab them and get the hell out of there. I walk around to the front door of the club, and the guys returned and unloaded there pistols right at the front door. Of course, I dove near a parked car to avoid being hit. That night Club Kandy became Club Deathtrap and is officially off limits for me.

Iowanian
05-15-2007, 11:01 PM
wait a minute...your ahole got knocked into your esophagus?

No....but thats a pretty valid description of my first bull ride.

Gonzo
05-15-2007, 11:30 PM
Here's one you can relate to Bwana.
I was Pheasant hunting 6 yrs. ago, stepped in a gopher hole when running to a point and broke my knee.
I had to crawl to the truck (1.5 miles) in freezing rain while keeping track of the dogs. Almost froze to death due to shock.
Ever since then I take a cell, (Alltel works almost everywhere).

ChiefsOne
05-16-2007, 10:18 AM
20 years ago last week I had a car wreck, killed my friend and almost me. We were both thrown from the car, going 90 MPH (police report stated).

I had a compound fracture of my femur, broken hip, jaws and many facial bones, collapsed lung, bit the end of my tongue almost off, lost 6 pints of blood and was in a coma for 6 days.

Kerberos
05-16-2007, 11:02 AM
I have bashed GoChiefs so often that I am surprised that he has not capped my ass with a Ruger .40 Cal

kepp
05-16-2007, 11:14 AM
After reading these posts, I think we should categorize any further stories into a) accidental brushes with death, and, b) brushes with death that I caused with my own dumbassery.

Archie F. Swin
05-16-2007, 12:35 PM
20 years ago last week I had a car wreck, killed my friend and almost me. We were both thrown from the car, going 90 MPH (police report stated).

I had a compound fracture of my femur, broken hip, jaws and many facial bones, collapsed lung, bit the end of my tongue almost off, lost 6 pints of blood and was in a coma for 6 days.

dear god...what killed your buddy?

plbrdude
05-16-2007, 12:45 PM
was hooking up pipe to a septic tank that was 12' from top of tank to ground level. so hole was 18' total. guy sitting in excavator hollered to get up on top of tank. bout 30 seconds later a large slab of earth came off a slammed the tank. conrete tank moved a few inches, and schd 40 pipe snapped like twigs. good thing the operator was paying attention.

Dartgod
05-16-2007, 12:52 PM
dear god...what killed your buddy?I'm just guessing here, but...
I had a car wreck...We were both thrown from the car, going 90 MPH.

MOhillbilly
05-16-2007, 01:02 PM
i drank water out of grandpas denture cup.

Bwana
05-16-2007, 05:54 PM
I'm just guessing here, but...

Um, yeah.

mightyphoenix1
05-16-2007, 08:14 PM
Back in November of 2001 I was on my way home from work,commuting between Lawrence and Leavenworth,when i flipped mycar on highway 5 doing about 80mph. http://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb3/1/87/33/35518733EFaDsP_th.jpg
http://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb3/1/88/17/35518817rOKUVp_th.jpghttp://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb3/1/89/23/35518923cuEViO_th.jpghttp://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb2/1/89/93/35518993twcLAD_th.jpghttp://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb2/1/91/92/35519192DWbzMl_th.jpghttp://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb1/1/92/47/35519247CWaXJx_th.jpg.http://community.webshots.com/user/mightyphoenix

Skip Towne
05-16-2007, 08:49 PM
My dad was an MD in a small Kansas town. I was 10 years old and I went with him on most of his calls. The worst was an emergency call to the site where they were tearing down an old 3 story schoolhouse. This dude had fallen from the third floor and was still alive when we got there. But he had blood coming out of his ears, nose and mouth. He died as I watched. I remember his name to this day, 52 years later.

Bwana
05-16-2007, 09:15 PM
What about you Skip, any close calls with the black hand?

Bwana
05-16-2007, 09:16 PM
catagorizing?

nice.

Why Thank You. I aim to please.

ChiefsOne
05-17-2007, 12:04 AM
dear god...what killed your buddy?


He was thrown out really quick and hit a fence post, broken neck. They said that was the only thing wrong with him. I was in the car until about the last 50 feet, from first flip it went 287 feet.

88TG88
05-17-2007, 12:14 AM
This is a little different from your stories but I narrowly averted death. I was driving my friend home at about 1 in the morning. He lives in a gang neighborhood so I didn't wanna stay longer than I had to. I take a shortcut on a street that is usually empty. I'm driving the I make a left and there is a crowd of about 100-150 gang members street racing and doing donuts. I had to drive slow to get through all the cars on the street. That made it easier for the people on the sidewalks to see I wasn't from around there. I'm going about 15-20 when they start to converge on my car. I hit the gas and I just barely missed hitting a guy doing donuts, hitting his car would have assured I wouldn't survive that night, and finally get the hell out of there. Haven't taken a shortcut since.

Oregon chief
05-17-2007, 12:37 AM
so there I was knee deep in hand grenade pins...

dtebbe
05-17-2007, 09:10 AM
Back in November of 2001 I was on my way home from work,commuting between Lawrence and Leavenworth,when i flipped mycar on highway 5 doing about 80mph. http://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb3/1/87/33/35518733EFaDsP_th.jpg
http://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb3/1/88/17/35518817rOKUVp_th.jpghttp://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb3/1/89/23/35518923cuEViO_th.jpghttp://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb2/1/89/93/35518993twcLAD_th.jpghttp://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb2/1/91/92/35519192DWbzMl_th.jpghttp://thumb0.webshots.net/s/thumb1/1/92/47/35519247CWaXJx_th.jpg.http://community.webshots.com/user/mightyphoenix

Did your mullet survive too? :)

DT

trndobrd
05-17-2007, 09:42 AM
so there I was knee deep in hand grenade pins...


No $hit, there you were.....

Bwana
07-09-2009, 12:30 PM
Heh, a few statements in the Mcnair thread got me thinking about this thread. Lets hear it.............

PhillyChiefFan
07-09-2009, 12:39 PM
I was at JRTC when it was still at Ft. Chaffee and we were doing a live fire trench clearing exercise. Went through the whole bit... arty popped smoke on the hilltop, engineer detachment breached the triple strand with a bangelor (sp?)... lots of noise and smoke basically.

My fire team was first though the wire so when it was breached I led my guys through, hung a right just as we'd rehearsed, went 50 or so feet and found the trench just as they'd described it and we proceeded to clear. Tossed in grenades, made more noise, entered the trench and cleared a bunker. We were having quite the good time until I got up the the first corner.

I knew something was up because the corner went to the left when everything we'd rehearsed showed it going to the right. I stopped everyone and took a quick look around the corner to figure out where we were when I realized WE weren't all there. As I peeked around the corner I saw a silloute target just down the trench, fire opened up and rounds proceeded past my head.

I ended up getting everyone that was with me pushed back into the bunker we'd just cleared as I screamed into the radio for a cease fire.

Everything got stopped, we re-grouped and tagged onto the end of the clearing force and finshed the objective. We had our after actions review and everyone figured out what went wrong. It turned out the breach was in the wrong location and the amount of smoke on the target when I entered it made it impossible to see so I followed instructions. After half the company went through the breach the smoke had cleared enough to see and someone noticed the entry point wasn't in the right place so they went to it and started clearing toward us instead of staying together.

Then the most typical Army thing happened.

The Brigade commander had been monitoring the radios during the mission and apparently my 4 letter tirade while trying to get a cease fire called wasn't proper radio protocol. So he came up to the objective and proceeded to chew my @ss for my cursing on the radio.

Afterward the Brigade Command Sergeant Major took me aside and told me not to worry about it and that he'd make sure I didn't get in any trouble over it. He said "Had that dumb mother******er been shooting at me I would have shot back as I cussed him on the radio".

So, to make a long story long thats one of my most memorable near death experiences.

...wow...winner.

DenverDanChiefsFan
07-09-2009, 12:48 PM
79/80 ish group of us got into a fight at Mission Skate Rink when the other dudes pulled guns and started shooting - we ran like hell. Good thing they were shitty shots

87 - flipped my car in a cement culvert just off of 35 and Lamar - went off the end of the drain pipe as it went underground and slid upside down all the way up the end of the cement

88/89 - flying down a dirt road outside Pburg KS when the road ended - jumped the ditch, landed in a corn field. Steering wheel just missed the end of my nose - had a two inch lump on the bridge of my nose and forehead. That one kind of hurt.


Nothing as exciting as some of the tales here.

Phobia
07-09-2009, 12:58 PM
I have bashed GoChiefs so often that I am surprised that he has not capped my ass with a Ruger .40 Cal

It turns out he can't actually shoot so no worries there.

Katipan
07-09-2009, 01:00 PM
House fire, earthquake, home invasion, a psycho, and Waterworld.

Timex has nothing on me.

crazycoffey
07-09-2009, 01:01 PM
Heh, a few statements in the Mcnair thread got me thinking about this thread. Lets hear it.............


I know you started this thread on a great day....

Bwana
07-09-2009, 01:02 PM
Nothing as exciting as some of the tales here.

I would say you have had your fair share of excitement judging from those stories. :doh!:

Guns...................................check
Car wreck............................check
2nd wreck, pulling a Bo Duke...check

tooge
07-09-2009, 01:08 PM
Leaving an eatery to head to the royals game. Some drunken idiot thinks he is in Nam (thats what he told the court anyways) and thinks I'm VC. He chases me for a couple of hundred yards with his car. I am on foot.I dont know this guy from Adam and dont know why he is after me. Well, after running for my life for about 2 minutes, I am out of energy, and just like in the movies, I trip on the curb going onto the median between two roads. I look up and see two headlights and a bumber a few feet from my head. Next thing I know I am flying through the air about 30 feet. I land only to sit up and see he is still commin for me. He runs me over. One tire goes over my shoulder and rolls me. The next tire (rear) goes over my mid back and spins me a bit. Rear diff hits my head and knocks me pretty silly. Fortunately, a fairly large chunk of my arm was left on his rear bumber underside and they caught him late that night while I was in surgery. Probably shoulda bit it that night, but I guess the big man had more need for me or something like that. Still have major shoulder trouble to this date, 3 surgeries later. Bastard got 90 days in a mental facility for his post traumatic stress syndrome.

tooge
07-09-2009, 01:09 PM
By the way, his name was Kavid Kennedy and he lived in OP. Just sayin.

crazycoffey
07-09-2009, 01:10 PM
wow

BigRedChief
07-09-2009, 01:13 PM
Illegally crossing the border into Russia, Lebanon, Syria and Jordan. 3 out of the 4 times I ended up being caught by the police/military, the other time was shot at by the border guards.

I went into the old arab section of Jerusalem(the only non arabs allowed in there are army soldeirs). That one got me in the hospital.

banyon
07-09-2009, 01:13 PM
closest I felt was trying to walk back to my hotel room in Gatlinburg, TN after my crazy friend was driving like a maniac and I just got out of the moving car.

I had to walk through a tunnel going through the Smoky Mountains one way against traffic. There was no sidewalk, but there was a raised ledge that ran alongside the road about 1 1/2 feet wide. It was raining and wet, so I could have slipped, but the worst part was that every car that came at me, blinded me with their brights, and then honked their horn like "hey there's a guy in the tunnel!" And because it was a tunnel the sound was amplified about 20x and it sounded like 20 cars. I could easily have slipped and fallen into oncoming traffic. A pretty stupid thing to do in hindsight.

Also, I had to escape an apartment one time in Dublin that was owned by a Russian mobster (really).

Bwana
07-09-2009, 01:14 PM
Leaving an eatery to head to the royals game. Some drunken idiot thinks he is in Nam (thats what he told the court anyways) and thinks I'm VC. He chases me for a couple of hundred yards with his car. I am on foot.I dont know this guy from Adam and dont know why he is after me. Well, after running for my life for about 2 minutes, I am out of energy, and just like in the movies, I trip on the curb going onto the median between two roads. I look up and see two headlights and a bumber a few feet from my head. Next thing I know I am flying through the air about 30 feet. I land only to sit up and see he is still commin for me. He runs me over. One tire goes over my shoulder and rolls me. The next tire (rear) goes over my mid back and spins me a bit. Rear diff hits my head and knocks me pretty silly. Fortunately, a fairly large chunk of my arm was left on his rear bumber underside and they caught him late that night while I was in surgery. Probably shoulda bit it that night, but I guess the big man had more need for me or something like that. Still have major shoulder trouble to this date, 3 surgeries later. Bastard got 90 days in a mental facility for his post traumatic stress syndrome.

:eek:

That's one hell of a story. So the dude just went all Navin Johnson on you out of the blue?

CoMoChief
07-09-2009, 01:22 PM
A couple times

1993 - Winter Park/Mary Jane, Colorado

Family and I went on ski trip with some other family and friends. Just learned how to ski although I was kinda a natural at it. Didn't take me long to become really good.

Or so I thought.....

Went to the highest peak and it was above the tree line, the mountain was bowl shaped at this peak. Well I just said screw it and went straight down, ducked down and got major speed, there was a huge rock and I had no time at all to swerve out of the way, hit the rock, tripped and tumbled all the way down this bowl of a moutain. I bet it was about 500 yards at least, kept tumbling and tumbling, hit my head on some rocks, then smacked head first into a tree at the bottom. Knocked me out for about 15min, woke up and I was being tied up to a sled to be escorted to their medical lodge or wherever they checked me out at.

They say the way I stopped (from a tree) I was extremely lucky to not have been killed. Because I was almost at full speed then was immediately stopped by the tree. But had a jammed finger and 3 huge knots on the dome. Nothing else, went back out skiing the next day.



2003: I-70, coming home from UPS Hub in KC (James St)

Working late one night, bad ice/snow storm came thru area, just completely dumped on the higways, trucks couldnt keep up with the salt etc, coming around Benton curve, spin out 3 times almost off the road, my car wouldnt turn the correct way, it was too icey, then a Semi is coming directly at me, he knows I'm stuck but he can't stop either, starts honking, finally was able to get traction and move out the way at the last second, drove off the road into a ditch just to get out of the way. This could have easily been a head on head collision with a Semi against me and my Jeep Cherokee. Needless to say I wouldnt have won that battle.

rockymtnchief
07-09-2009, 01:22 PM
Ft. Worth- Had a bull get under my vest and run my ribs through my lung and liver. I got up somehow to run and he was back after me. It ran through my mind that if he hits me again I'm going to die. Then a bright flash of yellow blocked my view and went flying 15' in the air. It was a bullfighter that took the second shot and saved me.

Cody- Had a bull pin me down to the ground with his horn around my neck and step on my back five times (had the hoof prints on my vest to prove it). The bullfighters got the bull to look up and spin after them. The problem was that his hooves kept coming down next to my head and almost crushing my pea brain.

Ennis- Came around a corner on my motorcycle and hit a greasy spot. The front tire started to slide so I gassed it and got the weight off it. Just as I got straightened out and back in my own lane I saw the bright blue eyes, 12-18 inches away, of the driver of an F-150 coming the other way. BTW...I wasn't speeding.

Billings- Had someone break in the house. Went down to see what the noise was and had a gun pulled on me. Stupid bastard got throttled as soon as I saw no bullets in the cylinders. (Wasn't near death, but it shook me up)

Rapid City- Had a pole break and I was impaled through my thigh on a lilac bush. Said many cuss words.

Micjones
07-09-2009, 01:23 PM
Two car accidents.

1. When I was in college I once had an accident where I slid into a county vehicle making a U-turn on a residential road (legal according to police). The truck had a steel-reinforced 20 foot flatbed attached to it that I was unable to see until I came over the hill. I slammed my foot on the break, but the wet road made it impossible for me to stop in time. The car was totaled, but I walked away without a scratch.

2. When I was about 22 years old I ran off with a woman about 12 years older than I for a family trip to California that my mother advised against. The family decided to make this road trip from Kansas City. One hell of a long-distance trip obviously. Even more perilous when we made most of the trip without stopping overnight for a hotel stay. Her mother was adamant about driving straight through. Well... Days later when we were all dead tired from trading time behind the wheel...I was terrified. We all pleaded with her, but she was downright defiant. Needless to say...she fell asleep at the wheel, woke up, overcorrected and threw the van off of the highway. The van flipped several times...two people were thrown from the vehicle. I didn't have a seatbelt on, but I remained in the vehicle. The accident happened in the middle of nowhere Nevada at 3 or 4 in the morning.

If not for the grace of God...

rockymtnchief
07-09-2009, 01:27 PM
Ft. Worth- Had a bull get under my vest and run my ribs through my lung and liver. I got up somehow to run and he was back after me. It ran through my mind that if he hits me again I'm going to die. Then a bright flash of yellow blocked my view and went flying 15' in the air. It was a bullfighter that took the second shot and saved me.


BTW...The bullfighters name is Deacon Jones (not the football player). If anyone in Texas sees him. Tell him I said thanks.

L.A. Chieffan
07-09-2009, 01:30 PM
Leaving an eatery to head to the royals game. Some drunken idiot thinks he is in Nam (thats what he told the court anyways) and thinks I'm VC. He chases me for a couple of hundred yards with his car. I am on foot.I dont know this guy from Adam and dont know why he is after me. Well, after running for my life for about 2 minutes, I am out of energy, and just like in the movies, I trip on the curb going onto the median between two roads. I look up and see two headlights and a bumber a few feet from my head. Next thing I know I am flying through the air about 30 feet. I land only to sit up and see he is still commin for me. He runs me over. One tire goes over my shoulder and rolls me. The next tire (rear) goes over my mid back and spins me a bit. Rear diff hits my head and knocks me pretty silly. Fortunately, a fairly large chunk of my arm was left on his rear bumber underside and they caught him late that night while I was in surgery. Probably shoulda bit it that night, but I guess the big man had more need for me or something like that. Still have major shoulder trouble to this date, 3 surgeries later. Bastard got 90 days in a mental facility for his post traumatic stress syndrome.

jesus thats fucked up. i wouldve turned into michael douglas in falling down after that shit

Iowanian
07-09-2009, 01:55 PM
Illegally crossing the border into Russia, Lebanon, Syria and Jordan. 3 out of the 4 times I ended up being caught by the police/military, the other time was shot at by the border guards.

I went into the old arab section of Jerusalem(the only non arabs allowed in there are army soldeirs). That one got me in the hospital.

I'm curious what exactly you were prooving with those stunts?

Obviously it was not that you are a quick learner.

Otter
07-09-2009, 02:05 PM
We were kayaking up in New York two summers ago and coming to the dock point so we were all pretty beat up and tired by this time. There was one last big spill over (about a 13' water fall) to go over and instead of doing things the right way and setting someone up down bottom I just went over.

Got turned sideways by a rock at the last second before dropping and when I landed lost the paddle from hitting my hands on some rocks. To top all this off I tucked my skirt release strap inside the kayak instead of outside. If you can't picture what that means - picture being stupid enough to go skydiving but tucking your release strap in with the chute.

Pretty fucking stupid.

Anyway wound upside down at the bottom of a fair sized waterfall stuck in current with everyone else up top assuming things went well. In what I think was about 30 to 45 seconds things went from sheer panic, to a big lung full of water to everything going black. If you ever were put to sleep for an operation and you try to fight the ether, that's exactly what it felt like.

There was no warm fuzzy feeling or grandma there for me, just black.

Next thing I know I'm waking up to Dave French Kissing and coughing up water. I was blue "as a blueberry" and everyone was crying or looked terrified. Spent the night in the hospital because of a "dry drowning" possibilty and slept about 5 minutes the whole time. After that I spent about a week or two having dreams I was drowning and stuck in-between life and death.

I've had other accidents and bad situation but nothing even comes close to that one in terms of "bad".

Thank you Dave! I owe you a big one.

Bwana
07-09-2009, 02:18 PM
We were kayaking up in New York two summers ago and coming to the dock point so we were all pretty beat up and tired by this time. There was one last big spill over (about a 13' water fall) to go over and instead of doing things the right way and setting someone up down bottom I just went over.

Got turned sideways by a rock at the last second before dropping and when I landed lost the paddle from hitting my hands on some rocks. To top all this off I tucked my skirt release strap inside the kayak instead of outside. If you can't picture what that means - picture being stupid enough to go skydiving but tucking your release strap in with the chute.

Pretty ****ing stupid.

Anyway wound upside down at the bottom of a fair sized waterfall stuck in current with everyone else up top assuming things went well. In what I think was about 30 to 45 seconds things went from sheer panic, to a big lung full of water to everything going black. If you ever were put to sleep for an operation and you try to fight the ether, that's exactly what it felt like.

There was no warm fuzzy feeling or grandma there for me, just black.

Next thing I know I'm waking up to Dave French Kissing and coughing up water. I was blue "as a blueberry" and everyone was crying or looked terrified. Spent the night in the hospital because of a "dry drowning" possibilty and slept about 5 minutes the whole time. After that I spent about a week or two having dreams I was drowning and stuck in-between life and death.

I've had other accidents and bad situation but nothing even comes close to that one in terms of "bad".

Thank you Dave! I owe you a big one.

Ouch! I don't think you ever told me about that one.

tooge
07-09-2009, 02:23 PM
jesus thats ****ed up. i wouldve turned into michael douglas in falling down after that shit

Well, actually, I sort of tormented the bastard by phone and drive bys for about 6 or 7 months. I used to throw stuff at his house and windows and follow him around and scare him. This all happened about 19 years ago, and I was only 23 at the time. I had thoughts of capturing his ass and torturing him, but figured why waste my life on his. I am alive, thats enough. I figure his life is probably miserable without me making it so.

Otter
07-09-2009, 02:24 PM
Ouch! I don't think you ever told me about that one.

Yeah, that ones not a good war story like trying to ride the mountain bike over the rope bridge. That one was a mind fuck.

PunkinDrublic
07-09-2009, 02:28 PM
In retrospect wearing my "Bikers are pussies" T-shirt to Rocklahoma last year was clearly a bad decision.

Micjones
07-09-2009, 02:39 PM
I got into an argument on the internet once. Afterwards I was like, "Whoaaaaa."

ROFL

Bwana
07-09-2009, 02:42 PM
In retrospect wearing my "Bikers are pussies" T-shirt to Rocklahoma last year was clearly a bad decision.

Heh, that kind of reminds me of a time when I went into a bar full of Hells Angles sporting my shit kickers and cowboy hat just for the fun of it. I was with a buddy on a road trip and I saw a bunch of bikes (50+) at a bar in West Yellowstone. I looked at my buddy and said "Now these boys have come all this way from CA, it would be rude not to stop in and join them for a tasty beverage." He didn't have on the boots or hat, but it still took some selling to talk him into it. These guys were looking at me like a was completely nuts. We were in there for about and hour and after bullshitting with them for awhile, they were buying us rounds. They turned out to be good guys once we figured out they were not going to try to kill us. ;)

sedated
07-09-2009, 03:11 PM
Got t-boned by a drunk driver, ran a red light going 70 in a 35.

He hit us hard enough to tear the engine off the front of my car (small plastic import), and if he had gotten there a 1/2 second later it would have ripped through the driver and passengers instead of the engine.

Chief Faithful
07-09-2009, 03:32 PM
As a teenager in Lebanon I verbally labeled Palestinian Sympathizers (now they go by the name Hezbollah) the "piss" in the presense of one of their thin skinned members. The gun was pulled by the piss member and words exchanged. All I can say is I'm thankful I had several quick thinking cousins nearby at that moment. Later my oldest cousin spoke to me about the wisdom of choosing my words more carefully.

Dartgod
07-09-2009, 03:57 PM
Heh, that kind of reminds me of a time when I went into a bar full of Hells Angles sporting my shit kickers and cowboy hat just for the fun of it. I was with a buddy on a road trip and I saw a bunch of bikes (50+) at a bar in West Yellowstone. I looked at my buddy and said "Now these boys have come all this way from CA, it would be rude not to stop in and join them for a tasty beverage." He didn't have on the boots or hat, but it still took some selling to talk him into it. These guys were looking at me like a was completely nuts. We were in there for about and hour and after bullshitting with them for awhile, they were buying us rounds. They turned out to be good guys once we figured out they were not going to try to kill us. ;)Did their leader look like this?

http://media.movieweb.com/news/02.2007/ray_hogs.jpg

Otter
07-09-2009, 04:06 PM
Did their leader look like this?

That some kick ass temp tattoos, wonder how long they last? It would be cool to walk around for a weekend that.

Until u get your ass kicked for having fake tattoos that is...

XXXshogunXXX
07-09-2009, 04:13 PM
I was literally ran over a car when I was 6 years old trying to cross the street. My friend told me to cross and hurry and I didnt look, I was ran over with the car going over my body. If I was ran over by the wheels I wouldve died for sure. My mom took me to a Dr and didnt have a scratch.

To this day I look both ways and run across the street. My friends still think its funny when we barhop around downtown and Im still running to the other side of the street.

KCChiefsMan
07-09-2009, 04:16 PM
I hit a current and fell down a waterfall when I was about 10 years old. It was kind of high, maybe the height of a 2 story house. I didn't exactly come close to dying, but while I was going down it I thought I could have. Luckily it was deep enough and no rocks at the bottom.

BigRedChief
07-09-2009, 04:25 PM
I'm curious what exactly you were prooving with those stunts?

Obviously it was not that you are a quick learner.
There was a far amount of mind altering substances involved in each of them. I did a lot of chit like that when I was traveling the world. Take risks with my life for no other reason than to do something that noone else did or to have some fun. I was a complete and utter fool to risk my life over such trivial things.

ClevelandBronco
07-09-2009, 04:31 PM
I took a VW Rabbit at 70 mph squarely into the back end of a stationary 18-wheeler. The front end of my car was about 9 inches long. I picked the windshield off of my lap. I was not wearing a seat belt. I walked away. Didn't even see a doctor.

That was the beginning of what I have always called "living my life on borrowed time."

-King-
07-09-2009, 04:36 PM
Leaving an eatery to head to the royals game. Some drunken idiot thinks he is in Nam (thats what he told the court anyways) and thinks I'm VC. He chases me for a couple of hundred yards with his car. I am on foot.I dont know this guy from Adam and dont know why he is after me. Well, after running for my life for about 2 minutes, I am out of energy, and just like in the movies, I trip on the curb going onto the median between two roads. I look up and see two headlights and a bumber a few feet from my head. Next thing I know I am flying through the air about 30 feet. I land only to sit up and see he is still commin for me. He runs me over. One tire goes over my shoulder and rolls me. The next tire (rear) goes over my mid back and spins me a bit. Rear diff hits my head and knocks me pretty silly. Fortunately, a fairly large chunk of my arm was left on his rear bumber underside and they caught him late that night while I was in surgery. Probably shoulda bit it that night, but I guess the big man had more need for me or something like that. Still have major shoulder trouble to this date, 3 surgeries later. Bastard got 90 days in a mental facility for his post traumatic stress syndrome.

HOLY ****!!! How are you still alive!?!?!? On a side note, since you went through trauma also from this little "incident", if you showed up at his doorstep and beat the living shit out of him, would you be able to say it was caused by Post Traumatic Stress or does that only apply to war vets?

My only real brush with death is a year ago when a friend of a friend of mine got a souped up 5.0 Mustang. 5.0s are fast without the mods so with them, the shit was flying. So anyways, we were at a parking lot one day and he decides to let us see how much power the car got. Being the retard I am, I get in the car for the ride. We go for about 5 minutes...I swear if we were going in reverse, we would have made the earth go backwards superman style. So we are about to turn back and we get on a side road. This guy FLOORS it, we hit about 90-95 when we hit an oil slick and the car goes rolling in the ditch. None of us were wearing a seatbelts. I should have died because I was in the backseat and about 2 feet behind me was just the biggest damn pipe you have ever seen sticking out of the ground. If we had landed 2 feet back, I would have been a goner. But luckily we landed on nice soft rock :doh!:

Weird thing though. The three of us SWEAR we crawled out of the side passenger window. I swear on damn near everything thats what we did. We go back like 30 seconds later and the passenger window is rolled all the way up. So how the **** did we get out??? :spock:

At the end of the day, I had no injuries. I just wasn't able to turn my neck for the next 4-5 days.

Bwana
07-09-2009, 04:58 PM
Did their leader look like this?




Heh, a bit larger and a few more tats.

Groves
07-09-2009, 06:50 PM
if he had gotten there a 1/2 second later it would have ripped through the driver and passengers instead of the engine.

I think a half second would have given you plenty of time to get through the intersection. It sounds like a real bummer of a serious accident, though.

Buehler445
07-09-2009, 07:05 PM
Eh, I've had a few. Nothing like you crazy fucks though.

The most scary is one of the few times I had an asthma attack. Nothing is scarier than trying as hard as you can to breathe and it just ain't happenin. Sucktastic.

I've driven too fast on several occasions that may or may not should have waxed me. No real significant stories though.

One time, when I was driving like a normal person in my Mom's suburban, I had a dance with death. I was turning left on the highway to go towards my house. I had to stop and wait for an oncoming car. A pickup had stopped behind me. A semi coming behind me had a dumbass attack and decided to PASS THE PICKUP BEHIND ME. Afterwords, the dude in the pickup told me that the oncoming car took the ditch. Anyway, after the car passes, I begin to make my turn. I then hear squealing tires, and I start to turn my head (slow motion of course). I wake up all fuzzy and am covered in the gatorade I had in the cupholder. "The first thing I thought was what the FUCK, I spilled my...oh fuck. I'm in the ditch." The semi had seen me at the last second, locked up his brakes (which I heard) and smashed into the ass end of the suburban. Spun me around 270 and FUBARED the suburban. If it had hit me in the middle or the front of the car, I'd be part of the highway. Pretty farking lucky.

The only other real incident of note was when my dad, uncle and I were hanging wallboard on the ceiling of the shop. Instead of making a giant scaffolding, we used the bucket of the tractor and made a platform sorta thing on it. So we've done all the walls and had 2 panels left to hang on the ceiling. One in the middle, one on the back wall. We start at the back wall. We're hanging this thing, and one of the hydraulic hoses RUPTURES (typically if a hose goes bad, it springs a leak and the shit just settles) when the rupture happens the bucket immediately starts to come down. The platform was longer than the bucket and hit the wall while the bucket was still going down. Buehler445 gracefully swan dives into a faceplant on the hood of the tractor. I hear my dad yelling to get off. The following 2 or 3 seconds seemed like 30 because shit was moving so slow, but I barely managed to get off before the loader crushed me. It may not have killed me, but it would have been damn ugly.