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View Full Version : I'm announcing a basketball game tonight, need phrases & trash talk, etc.


TinyEvel
05-23-2007, 12:27 PM
So, Our ad agency is playing basketball against another agency across town tonight. THe game will be held at THEIR agency. Apparently they have a wooden 4/5 scale full court inside their offices.

I will be announcing the game from the booth with someone from their shop.

I don't watch a lot of basketball, but I know enough to get around the game. The whole thing should be fun-spirited and we expect them to lacquer the court with our team. So I'm going to be up there trash-talking like only a CPer on the 10pm thread can do.

So, I'm turning to you folks for tips and ideas. I need a crash course in color commentary.

I'm planning some Dennis Miller-esque quips like

"he's having a tough game. He's throwing more bricks than a Palestinian teenager in the West Bank"

What else you got?

Sully
05-23-2007, 12:28 PM
Facial.

Redrum_69
05-23-2007, 12:29 PM
I'd steer away from Don Imus comments

Sully
05-23-2007, 12:30 PM
Sweet Sassy Molassy.

chagrin
05-23-2007, 12:31 PM
puts the biscuit in the basket, heh

cdcox
05-23-2007, 12:31 PM
You should make a bunch of photoshops of the players and project them on the gym wall.

JimNasium
05-23-2007, 12:33 PM
B, A, S, T, A, R, D....you won the spelling bee.

AZORChiefFan
05-23-2007, 12:35 PM
65 Toss Power Trap

trndobrd
05-23-2007, 12:35 PM
Try to find out what ads the players from the other team have worked on. Incorporate those into comments about the player.

"After that miss the only cheers he's going to get is 'All Temperature Cheer'".

"Whoa! Another turnover by Smith. I really can believe it IS butter."

Easy 6
05-23-2007, 12:36 PM
..."Annnd again, its Sweet River Baines with his Whirling-Dervish brand of Devil basketball!!!"

StcChief
05-23-2007, 12:38 PM
From the days when basketball was a real game....

Throw up the Rock/ no it's a Brick

Nice carry.

Got your Travellin' Shoes on.

Saulbadguy
05-23-2007, 12:39 PM
"and boom goes the dynamite"

TinyEvel
05-23-2007, 12:39 PM
The accounts they have are Nissan, Playstation, Apple/iPod, infiniti, Jimmy Dean's sausage, Whiskas, Pennzoil, VISA, Uncle Ben's.

Demonpenz
05-23-2007, 12:42 PM
They call him the dudge, not because he rules the court, because he sits on the bench.

tyton75
05-23-2007, 12:45 PM
"did you see that? he got played better than a 6 year old plays a playstation"...

*took a shot

Carlota69
05-23-2007, 01:25 PM
You could be really rude and say shit like--

"Wow, what a back court press he just put onthat guy--you'd think he was George Michael or something.."

Or "Now thats the way you do a Kurt Cobain--I've never seen a no-look pass shot off so easily.."

Dicky McElephant
05-23-2007, 01:26 PM
HOLY TORNADO!

Phobia
05-23-2007, 01:27 PM
The accounts they have are Nissan, Playstation, Apple/iPod, infiniti, Jimmy Dean's sausage, Whiskas, Pennzoil, VISA, Uncle Ben's.

I'd just sit up there screaming Zoom zoom zoom all night.

morphius
05-23-2007, 01:28 PM
SP Flashback:

"Oh I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938."

GoHuge
05-23-2007, 01:31 PM
You could be really rude and say shit like--

"Wow, what a back court press he just put onthat guy--you'd think he was George Michael or something.."

Or "Now thats the way you do a Kurt Cobain--I've never seen a no-look pass shot off so easily.."
ROFL

OnTheWarpath58
05-23-2007, 01:34 PM
The man in my avatar is all the inspiration you need......

"We are now in... extensive, garbage time”

“...with the FACIAL!!!”

"YES! AND IT COUNTS!"

Hog Farmer
05-23-2007, 01:50 PM
"Look at them nappy headed ho's"

Pushead2
05-23-2007, 02:44 PM
SP Flashback:

"Oh I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938."
ROFL ROFL

"Nothing says hard basketball with men on men tight in the paint."

Ultra Peanut
05-23-2007, 02:53 PM
OH, BABY! OH, BABY!

THE PROFESSORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Phobia
05-23-2007, 02:59 PM
I think you should mix in a bunch of references from the wrong sport. Make it confusing for everybody. I'd also heckle every mistake....

Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirball - Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirball.

Plus, if a black guy steals the ball, apply some stereotypes. "It's Tyrone with the steal, go figure."

Easy 6
05-23-2007, 03:27 PM
As another one clanks off the rim...*best Vitale voice*..."HE'S JACKIN MORE JUNK THAN FREDDY SANFORD BABYYY!!!'

Rudy lost the toss
05-23-2007, 03:44 PM
Keep it NBA Jam

"Razzle Dazzle"

"Monster Jam"

"He's on Fire"

icepick64
05-23-2007, 03:59 PM
from downtown...

Braincase
05-23-2007, 04:00 PM
From Howard Cosell...

"Look at that little monkey run!"

PriestMVP31
05-23-2007, 04:21 PM
OH, BABY! OH, BABY!

THE PROFESSORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

ROFL ROFL

my GODSON! Tha Professoooooooooooorrrrrrr!


If someone tries to showboat too much, use a Chickism (Chick Hearn, HOF broadcaster for the Lakers, died in 2002) "The mustard came off the hot dog!"

boogblaster
05-23-2007, 04:24 PM
Pump it to em baby.....swish that pumpkin right thru the nettin...stole that ball like a 100.00 dollar hubcap...blocked that shot like a 10 lb. cheeseburger in a ole-folks home ....

Thig Lyfe
05-23-2007, 04:28 PM
BOOM CHAKALAKA!

ChiefsFire
05-23-2007, 05:25 PM
booooyah

KcMizzou
05-23-2007, 05:27 PM
Boom goes the dynamite?

AZORChiefFan
05-23-2007, 05:28 PM
for a particularly bad play "that was about as ugly as Marv Albert in panties"

bogie
05-23-2007, 05:35 PM
The accounts they have are Nissan, Playstation, Apple/iPod, infiniti, Jimmy Dean's sausage, Whiskas, Pennzoil, VISA, Uncle Ben's.

Here's a quote you can use if the game is close. "It's a close game folks, our team is hangin' in there like a hair stuck to Jimmy Dean's sausage.

CoMoChief
05-23-2007, 07:49 PM
Sweet Sassy Molassy!!!!

CoMoChief
05-23-2007, 07:49 PM
He shoots......he scooooooooooores!!!!!!!

And he's celebratin' like a slave that made it to the north!!!

Sam Hall
05-23-2007, 07:53 PM
I have some options

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Sam Hall
05-23-2007, 07:54 PM
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|Zach|
05-23-2007, 07:55 PM
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Sam Hall
05-23-2007, 07:57 PM
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Pushead2
05-24-2007, 07:52 AM
He shoots......he scooooooooooores!!!!!!!

And he's celebratin' like a slave that made it to the north!!!
ROFL ROFL

DaneMcCloud
05-24-2007, 10:55 AM
ReeeeJected!

Just like a Jimmy Dean Sausage before "Ridin' Dirty"!

Simply Red
05-24-2007, 11:02 AM
"WHO IS HE?" My buddy and I used to say that while whipping others in doubles at 9-ball.

Simply Red
05-24-2007, 11:03 AM
He shoots......he scooooooooooores!!!!!!!

And he's celebratin' like a slave that made it to the north!!!

Racist

Simply Red
05-24-2007, 11:03 AM
Racist

JUST KIDDING :clap: :)

DaneMcCloud
05-24-2007, 11:24 AM
Did you see those moves? That guy reacted like a stalled Nissan on the 405

Pierce
05-24-2007, 11:33 AM
Tickles the twine

Right between the eyes!!

big nasty kcnut
05-24-2007, 12:12 PM
It's time to put the dagger in them cause it's game over.

He stuffed him cause that how he roll.

he just knocked him down on his roody poo candy ass

he got burned so bad his name should be william bartee.

she shooting more shots then paris hilton at her morning breakfast.


he scoring more often then vince vaughn would at a ywca

big nasty kcnut
05-24-2007, 12:22 PM
his play is like watching the special Olympics really inspiring but hard to watch.

Carlota69
05-24-2007, 12:53 PM
Man that dude is on fire, he's scoring more than Charlie Sheen in a whorehouse

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 05:58 PM
Why did this other announcer just bite me? AAAAAAIIIIII, it's Marv Albert!

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 05:58 PM
He's dribbling, dribbling....now they pass him the ball.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:00 PM
Their best player is a former pro, but fortunately he's off the streets now.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:03 PM
His nickname at the office is Shaq, but that's just because he's living with a woman outside of marriage.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:05 PM
He puts up more points in the paint than Seurat.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:08 PM
He's a great ball handler, but then again everyone at XXXXX firm is a great ball handler.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:09 PM
He makes baskets like a hyperactive Hopi woman.

Thig Lyfe
05-24-2007, 06:09 PM
his play is like watching the special Olympics really inspiring but hard to watch.

I get that same feeling reading your posts.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:10 PM
He plays defense like the French in 1940.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:11 PM
His shooting from the corner is better than Lee Harvey Oswald's.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:14 PM
He records a steal, kind of like Nixon but without the 18-minute gap.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:15 PM
He once played under Jerry Tarkanian, but that was in college and he was drunk.

Rain Man
05-24-2007, 06:18 PM
He shoots! He misses! No one appears surprised!

CoMoChief
05-24-2007, 06:25 PM
Racist


hah, that quote was actually from an SNL clip when Ray Ramano was hosting and they did a Sportscenter Spoof. Tim Meadows acted as Stuart Scott. Funny clip.

HolmeZz
05-24-2007, 06:30 PM
JUMANJI

Ultra Peanut
05-24-2007, 11:43 PM
BAH GAWD KING THAT AIN'T BBQ SAUCE ON THAT BACKBOARD