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Tatertot13
05-24-2007, 01:36 PM
So I'm sitting at work and I just rip a huge floor vibrating fart. I was trying to sneak it out, but the cheeks must have been situated just right cause it was a loud one. Well, I heard the girl in the cube next to me giggle and I lost it. I laughed so hard that I started crying. Why is it that no matter how many times you do it, and no matter how old you are, you can always get a good chuckle out of a nice loud fart? Feel free to share your funny flatulence stories.

bobbything
05-24-2007, 01:37 PM
This past weekend I went to a wedding. At the quietest possible moment during the ceremony, someone farted. It was stellar. It happened at the perfect moment. The best part is when you see 5 grown men reduced to 8 year old boys, laughing uncontrollably at the sheer stupidity of someone ripping corn in the middle of a wedding service. This, is always funny.

NewChief
05-24-2007, 01:37 PM
My two year old has discovered the humor of farting. It's pretty freaking funny, but also scary because he's always trying to squeeze them out when I'm changing his diaper.

Simply Red
05-24-2007, 01:38 PM
So I'm sitting at work and I just rip a huge floor vibrating fart. I was trying to sneak it out, but the cheeks must have been situated just right cause it was a loud one. Well, I heard the girl in the cube next to me giggle and I lost it. I laughed so hard that I started crying. Why is it that no matter how many times you do it, and no matter how old you are, you can always get a good chuckle out of a nice loud fart? Feel free to share your funny flatulence stories.
That's actually pretty funny. :)

Easy 6
05-24-2007, 01:40 PM
Why's the sky blue???...How does a Posi-Trac on a Plymouth work???, nobody knows, it just does.

The Rick
05-24-2007, 01:47 PM
I know a girl who went to a movie this one time with a guy friend of her (they were just friends). This guy is crazy and is one of those guys who will do pretty much anything.

Anyway, you know that dark, silent period of time between the end of the previews and the beginning of the movie? This guy took the liberty of putting both hands up to his mouth and made a really loud fart noise while it was pitch black and silent.

The best part about it was that as the movie started and the light from the screen began to illuminate the theater, this guy was staring at my friend with a horrified look on his face as if she was the one who ripped it. The fact that this guy's facial expressions are always priceless makes it even better. :)

gblowfish
05-24-2007, 01:54 PM
Your wife doesn't think a "dutch oven" is funny.
So forget it.

Chief Nute
05-24-2007, 02:02 PM
Wow.......you stole my thunder.

I was prepared to come on here and create a thread entitled "I have to fart so bad it hurts", but I figured one fart thread today is enough.


So I will tell my story here.....my department/subsidiary of a smaller company was just moved in with the rest of the corporate world. We used to have a nice plush suite where I had a nice big office.....well, now I am stuck in cubicle world. They are nice cubicles, but they are hence, still cubicles.

I used to just blast off in my office without thinking twice.....sometimes creating a day-long stench that I would enjoy all to myself.

Now, I am sitting here and I swear I have to fart so bad it hurts.....and it isnt that I am afraid of farting......I have farted probably 8 times in my cubicle this week......but I was able to manuever a silent fart each time. But this little bastard just wont go easy.....I can tell if I let this one go.....everyone within 20 feet will hear it, and I cant give that first impression. So I am sitting here dying.......and you know the fart sensation......if you dont do it, it goes away, but it always comes back. This thing comes back every 20 seconds......I just cant do it.

Does anyone have any ideas? I'm dying here

siberian khatru
05-24-2007, 02:04 PM
I know a girl who went to a movie this one time with a guy friend of her (they were just friends). This guy is crazy and is one of those guys who will do pretty much anything.

Anyway, you know that dark, silent period of time between the end of the previews and the beginning of the movie? This guy took the liberty of putting both hands up to his mouth and made a really loud fart noise while it was pitch black and silent.

The best part about it was that as the movie started and the light from the screen began to illuminate the theater, this guy was staring at my friend with a horrified look on his face as if she was the one who ripped it. The fact that this guy's facial expressions are always priceless makes it even better. :)

That's so stupid and juvenile, I can't stop laughing here at work. My kind of humor.

kepp
05-24-2007, 02:04 PM
Wow.......you stole my thunder.

I was prepared to come on here and create a thread entitled "I have to fart so bad it hurts", but I figured one fart thread today is enough.


So I will tell my story here.....my department/subsidiary of a smaller company was just moved in with the rest of the corporate world. We used to have a nice plush suite where I had a nice big office.....well, now I am stuck in cubicle world. They are nice cubicles, but they are hence, still cubicles.

I used to just blast off in my office without thinking twice.....sometimes creating a day-long stench that I would enjoy all to myself.

Now, I am sitting here and I swear I have to fart so bad it hurts.....and it isnt that I am afraid of farting......I have farted probably 8 times in my cubicle this week......but I was able to manuever a silent fart each time. But this little bastard just wont go easy.....I can tell if I let this one go.....everyone within 20 feet will hear it, and I cant give that first impression. So I am sitting here dying.......and you know the fart sensation......if you dont do it, it goes away, but it always comes back. This thing comes back every 20 seconds......I just cant do it.

Does anyone have any ideas? I'm dying here
Its called "blame shifting".

siberian khatru
05-24-2007, 02:05 PM
Wow.......you stole my thunder.



So to speak.

Mr. Plow
05-24-2007, 02:06 PM
I've taught my 2 year old to sneak up on his mother and fart on her. Funniest thing you'll ever see.

Tatertot13
05-24-2007, 02:17 PM
Wow.......you stole my thunder.

I was prepared to come on here and create a thread entitled "I have to fart so bad it hurts", but I figured one fart thread today is enough.


So I will tell my story here.....my department/subsidiary of a smaller company was just moved in with the rest of the corporate world. We used to have a nice plush suite where I had a nice big office.....well, now I am stuck in cubicle world. They are nice cubicles, but they are hence, still cubicles.

I used to just blast off in my office without thinking twice.....sometimes creating a day-long stench that I would enjoy all to myself.

Now, I am sitting here and I swear I have to fart so bad it hurts.....and it isnt that I am afraid of farting......I have farted probably 8 times in my cubicle this week......but I was able to manuever a silent fart each time. But this little bastard just wont go easy.....I can tell if I let this one go.....everyone within 20 feet will hear it, and I cant give that first impression. So I am sitting here dying.......and you know the fart sensation......if you dont do it, it goes away, but it always comes back. This thing comes back every 20 seconds......I just cant do it.

Does anyone have any ideas? I'm dying here

Sorry for stealing your thunder. As for your problem, I would recommend crop dusting. You walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Or you could always just go to the bathroom and fire one off in there.

Mile High Mania
05-24-2007, 02:31 PM
My kids have discovered the great joy in farting... just as kids do, they'll let one fly and then just giggle like it's the funniest thing ever and sometimes it is.

I've tried to avoid calling it a 'fart' though... but, my son came home the other day and apparently misheard what his friend called it. My son lets one rip and then looks at me and says "I froted".

I got the biggest laugh out of his expression and the term "froted".

greg63
05-24-2007, 02:37 PM
My favorite game is: "Pull my finger".

cookster50
05-24-2007, 02:45 PM
My favorite game is: "Pull my finger".
That's kind of close to my favorite game with the wife: "Pull my " well, you can fill in the blank.

CoMoChief
05-24-2007, 02:48 PM
I farted in church once about a couple yrs ago. I even tried to hold it in but once i knew I couldnt without burning a hole in my intestines tried to sit on it so it wouldnt be loud and slowly tried to slip out, but it didn't work, it was loud and I tried to play if off but my dad started to laugh at me. Once that happened I started to laugh under my breath too and there was this old couple sitting down the row from us giving us the death look.

Moral of this story......

If dad laughs then everything's okay.

Pushead2
05-24-2007, 03:02 PM
Farting rules.

tyton75
05-24-2007, 03:13 PM
I work in the cubicle world and was trying not to let one go because it was a fairly quiet day.... it kinda went away and I forgot about it when I had to sneeze

At the same time I sneezed, I farted harder than I ever had before, and LOUD too.. I just sat there, waiting for people to ask me if I sh!t myself.. but no one said a word

I farted so hard that it actually hurt.. anyone else ever Snarted like that??

bobbything
05-24-2007, 03:19 PM
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Nzoner
05-24-2007, 03:37 PM
I farted in church once about a couple yrs ago. I even tried to hold it in but once i knew I couldnt without burning a hole in my intestines tried to sit on it so it wouldnt be loud and slowly tried to slip out, but it didn't work, it was loud and I tried to play if off but my dad started to laugh at me. Once that happened I started to laugh under my breath too and there was this old couple sitting down the row from us giving us the death look.

Moral of this story......

If dad laughs then everything's okay.

I think it was Carlin who said there's a reason the seats in churchs are called pews.

Simplex3
05-24-2007, 03:46 PM
Does anyone have any ideas? I'm dying here
Gee, I don't know...

GO OUTSIDE?

Simplex3
05-24-2007, 03:49 PM
I work in the cubicle world and was trying not to let one go because it was a fairly quiet day.... it kinda went away and I forgot about it when I had to sneeze

At the same time I sneezed, I farted harder than I ever had before, and LOUD too.. I just sat there, waiting for people to ask me if I sh!t myself.. but no one said a word

I farted so hard that it actually hurt.. anyone else ever Snarted like that??
While that sucks the sneezing belch hurts more.

Mr. Laz
05-24-2007, 03:51 PM
Why are farts so funny?

because your 12?



:shrug:

Stewie
05-24-2007, 03:52 PM
They're funny because they make noise and stink... usually. The biggest kick we got in elementary school was making stink pens. Replace the ink cartridge with a kitchen match and when you click the pen it ignites the match (sulfur smell) mixed with burning plastic. It was high comedy to a 5th grader.

Rooster
05-24-2007, 04:07 PM
Fart is great but his cousin Shart sucks. :banghead:

Don't totally trust your farts after 30.

Iowanian
05-24-2007, 04:10 PM
She laughed for a similar but different reason.

You're wearing khaki pants, and your fart wasn't Funny...it was Runny.