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Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 07:03 PM
http://chiefs.scout.com/2/647843.html

I was asked the other day why Iím a Chiefs fan. On this particular day, the question was asked by a Steelers fan, but in past years it has also been asked of me by Patriots fans, Rams fans, Cowboys fans, 49ers fans and fans of pretty much every team except the Saints, Cardinals and Jets.

For some reason, the people asking this question are usually wearing new jerseys and canít name their backup quarterback.

My answer to this person was the same as usual: pepper spray to the face, followed by frenzied kicks and punches while yelling ďLIN ELLIOTT! LIN ELLIOTT! (THUMP) WAS THAT KICK WIDE LEFT? HUH? HUH? HOW ABOUT THIS ONE (THUMP)?Ē But after I ran away, the question gave me pause. Why am I a Chiefs fan?

To derive the answer to this question, we must go back to the groovy era of the 1960s, when Camelot ruled and Vietnam was a hit TV show and Goldie Hawn was taking the first steps on the moon. The first thing to note about the 1960s, which most of you know, is that they happened a long time ago. By most estimates, the 1960s took place sometime before 1975, and most Americans born after 1980 do not even remember them.

I barely remember them myself. I was a child of the Sixties and did some of my best thinking in that era, but when I look in the mirror today, I see a middle-aged man staring back, which really freaks me out until I recognize that itís me and not some insane guy tunneling around inside my walls.

Other than some recognizable bone structure, a funny little mole on my left cheek that will probably kill me someday, and a lingering pre-molar baby tooth, I donít really have a lot of connections any more to the decade of my birth.

In fact, I can think of only three. First, thereís my family Ė my mother, father and older sister - who have been around pretty much since the beginning, barring the discovery of new evidence to bolster my theory of being the abandoned bastard child of English royalty. Three years later, the blue Ford pickup arrived. Itís a 1966 model, baby blue, with an AM radio and plastic seats that get blistering hot in the summer.

That pickup has been in my parentsí driveway for 40 years now. Iíve been slapped in that truck, thrown up in that truck, and rode in the bed back when telling oneís kids to ďhang on when I hit the highwayĒ was sufficient evidence of guardianship.

The third and final connection to those bygone days is the Chiefs.

I donít recall the first Chiefs game I watched, or even the first time I heard about the wonderful game of football. No one in my family was a sports fan, so I undoubtedly discovered football on my own whilst searching for Sunday morning cartoons and recognizing that Davey and Goliath was nothing more than blatant propaganda put out by heavenís public relations firm. But I do remember encountering my first opposing fan.

It was in first grade in late 1969, at Lafayette Elementary School in Joplin, Missouri. Her name was Roberta, and she was a Packers fan then and probably a Steelers fan now. She smugly informed me that the Packers had once won a game by the score of 10-0, which was staggering to hear since the number 10 is pretty much the largest number in the universe to a six year-old. And then she uttered the words that Iíve come to know quite well.

ďWhy are you a Chiefs fan?Ē

I donít recall my answer, and at the time the Lin Elliott response wouldnít have made a lot of sense. Perhaps I kicked her and said something about Max McGee. I donít know. But I somehow defended my position, I guess, because I didnít become a Packers fan and I learned to stay true to my team.

Even with that early loyalty, it was in 1970 when all of the pieces came together for me. First, my parents bought a color television, one of those enormous console TVs that had a built-in phonograph and radio and weighed more than Junior Siavii on Thanksgiving. The Chiefs, I discovered, wore red. Bright red. That was way cool.

Second, I was in a grocery store with my dad, and for some reason he bought me a pack of football cards. I got back into the baby blue Ford pickup with the hot plastic seats, ripped open the pack, and a new world opened before my eyes. They kept statistics on how players performed, and you could buy them on the backs of these magical cards.

This was amazing! I could even find out how tall the players were, how much they weighed, and where they went to college unless they were Tom Dempsey. This was so mind-blowing it didnít even matter that the first pack contained no Chiefs. Just learning about Verlon Biggs (270 pounds) and Brig Owens (#23) and Larry Brown (888 yards rushing) was enough to hook me.

And the third thing that happened in 1970 was that my dadís friend Larry learned my dad had a color TV. Larry had been a bread delivery man with my dad for a while, and in 1970 he started a tiny, tiny restaurant just outside the doors of the bakery. He was also a Chiefs fan. There was apparently some big Chiefs game taking place early that year, and he asked my dad if he could come over and watch it in living color.

I sat on the floor in front of the television that day, my football cards spread in front of me, and Otis Taylor made a great catch and run against some guy in a white uniform, and just like that I had a favorite player. I didnít learn to appreciate defense until it disappeared a couple of years later. I think itís one of those developmental brain things.

From that point on, the Chiefs were a regular part of my life. On the playground, I played football and pretended I was Otis Taylor or Jim Lynch. On Christmas Day of 1971, I pleaded and cajoled and cried and demanded we not leave my aunt and uncleís house until the game ended, even though it went into double-overtime and all the other relatives had long left and my aunt was cleaning up the place.

Thirty-five years later, my most vivid memory of a childhood Christmas is sitting in their house, a long-overstaying guest, fending off Tuffy, the irritable toothless Chihuahua they had released upon me, trying to convince a group of adults that pulling me away in double overtime was child abuse.

The Chiefs followed me everywhere. In junior high in the late seventies, while bigger kids were picking on me, bigger teams were picking on the Chiefs, and we understood each otherís pain. In high school, my big splurge each week was going down to the nearby greek restaurant and getting an order of spaghetti, Texas toast, and Boston Cream Pie (they didnít serve Greek food, but apparently embraced other geographic fare) as I sat down to watch the Chiefs do battle.

I went off to college while Marv Levy was writing the Chiefsí fight song, and when I got my first job in St. Louis, I had a TV and VCR on the floor of an otherwise empty apartment, and I bribed my mother to videotape the Chiefs games and mail them to me since sports bars at that time were still being tested on laboratory monkeys.

At the age of 28, I left Missouri for good, and my family and the blue pickup stayed behind. The Chiefs went with me. I got married, went to grad school, switched careers, moved to Denver of all places, bought a house, and started up my own business.

Through it all, I watched Chiefs teams with good offenses and no defenses, Chiefs teams with good defenses and no offenses, and at least one team that somehow snuck into the playoffs with only special teams. I watched games at home, at sports bars, read game summaries in a hotel in Bombay, and one occasion, followed a game live on the NFL web site at midnight in Paris. I saw careers rise and fall, I saw miracle finishes that made me scream with delight, and I saw losses that pulled my heart out of my chest and stomped on it. On two occasions, I saw the team pick itself up and move on after its biggest star died.

Iím 43 years old now, and thereís not much child left in me. Iím bald, I work 80 hours a week, and I have descended into the great abyss of middle-class America that is both revered and scorned in our society. I see my Sixties-era family and that blue pickup maybe once every other year.

I have a new family now, one that I found and created, and overall Iím very happy with the life I have chosen. But on 16 Sunday mornings a year, I can get my spaghetti and Texas toast and sit on the floor in front of the television and Iím a child again, and all things are possible, perhaps even a Super Bowl.

So when people ask me why Iím a Chiefs fan, I can only smile. If you have to ask, you wouldnít understand. Why am I a Chiefs fan? We grew up together. Theyíre the closest kin Iíve got.

Mile High Mania
05-31-2007, 07:09 PM
Very nice.

88TG88
05-31-2007, 07:10 PM
pretty good read

KurtCobain
05-31-2007, 07:12 PM
This is excellent.

rad
05-31-2007, 07:15 PM
Wow. That's probably the best article posted by GoChiefs yet.

Baby Lee
05-31-2007, 07:16 PM
and at least one team that somehow snuck into the playoffs with only special teams.
ROFL - the fightin' Ganz's!!!

JimNasium
05-31-2007, 07:21 PM
Why did you have to go and hate on Davey? :shake:

JimNasium
05-31-2007, 07:22 PM
Wow. That's probably the best article posted by GoChiefs yet.
That's because Kevin is the author.

Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 07:24 PM
That's because Kevin is the author.

Kevin can do no wrong. :rolleyes:

Phobia
05-31-2007, 07:38 PM
That reads like something stolen from Gaz.

blueballs
05-31-2007, 07:39 PM
this is much better than the article Gochiefs
was going to make about how he had his first
erection while watching LJ throw up the diamond

JimNasium
05-31-2007, 07:40 PM
Kevin can do no wrong. :rolleyes:
Quit acting like Jan Brady.

Iowanian
05-31-2007, 07:40 PM
I call him bRainman for a reason.

very nice.

bogie
05-31-2007, 08:11 PM
Reflecting is a fun and tearful thing for an old man to do. I really enjoyed it. Thanks.

Rain Man
05-31-2007, 08:24 PM
Why did you have to go and hate on Davey? :shake:

Davey is a tool of The Man.

JimNasium
05-31-2007, 08:42 PM
Davey is a tool of The Man.
Don't be dissin' The Man.

Braincase
05-31-2007, 08:59 PM
You had me at "Otis Taylor".

Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 09:02 PM
You had me at "Otis Taylor".

Note to self: Make cutesy references to old-school Chiefs, score points with fickle Chiefsplanet crowd!

crazycoffey
05-31-2007, 09:16 PM
Note to self: Make cutesy references to old-school Chiefs, score points with fickle Chiefsplanet crowd!


Note to self: change my Byline to an unknown name and let someone else post my articles for me on chiefsplanet to ever win over the fickle planet crowd [/end Gochiefs impression]

Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 09:18 PM
Note to self: change my Byline to an unknown name and let someone else post my articles for me on chiefsplanet to ever win over the fickle planet crowd [/end Gochiefs impression]

Note to self: Have more pride in myself and fight the man even though Crazycoffey advocates removal of spine just to win favor.

crazycoffey
05-31-2007, 09:20 PM
Note to self: Have more pride in myself and fight the man even though Crazycoffey advocates removal of spine just to win favor.


ROFL

nice, not quite cherry tree lore, but that'll do pig, that'll do.

Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 09:21 PM
I'm serious. Pen names are for spineless pussies.

crazycoffey
05-31-2007, 09:24 PM
I'm serious. Pen names are for spineless pussies.


OK, so why the sign in name of gochiefs? why not change it to your real name?

Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 09:28 PM
Uh, forum name. Different ballpark.

crazycoffey
05-31-2007, 09:40 PM
Uh, forum name. Different ballpark.


Oh, OK....

just messin anyway, in case you didn't know.

Phobia
05-31-2007, 09:49 PM
How did this fabulous article from Rainman devolve into a discussion about gochiefs?

crazycoffey
05-31-2007, 09:52 PM
prolley my fault, sorry Devil dog, Hooraa

Phobia
05-31-2007, 09:54 PM
Nah, gochiefs is pretty insecure.

crazycoffey
05-31-2007, 09:56 PM
can you imagine him in the military? even teh Ghey Navy.

Skip Towne
05-31-2007, 10:04 PM
Quit acting like Jan Brady.
:LOL: Good one.

Skip Towne
05-31-2007, 10:07 PM
I'm deeply disturbed that Kevin has sullied himself by consorting with WPI. I can't respect him now.

Logical
05-31-2007, 10:18 PM
How did this fabulous article from Rainman devolve into a discussion about gochiefs?

Good question.

Great job Kevin, very similar to my answer. Other than I better remember the Chiefs wonderful Super Bowl win over the Vikings. I also barely remember the Chiefs loss to the Packers in the first NFL-AFL championship game.

Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 10:22 PM
I'm deeply disturbed that Kevin has sullied himself by consorting with WPI. I can't respect him now.

Phobia asked him to join.

greg63
05-31-2007, 10:23 PM
Nice read!

greg63
05-31-2007, 10:25 PM
I too am 43 and can relate to some of the things he brought up.

Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 10:26 PM
This article originally appeared in our magazine a few months ago, BTW.

greg63
05-31-2007, 10:26 PM
This article originally appeared in our magazine a few months ago, BTW.

Quality stuff.

Thig Lyfe
05-31-2007, 10:28 PM
Great stuff, Rainman. Glad to see Athan didn't get a hold of the article before it got published, or else we'd be reading about Otis Tyler in a sea of comma splices.

Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 10:30 PM
Great stuff, Rainman. Glad to see Athan didn't get a hold of the article before it got published, or else we'd be reading about Otis Tyler in a sea of comma splices.

Uh, Nick doesn't do anything to our articles.

Phobia
05-31-2007, 10:31 PM
Uh, Nick doesn't do anything to our articles.
Unless he's too scared to publish them.

Thig Lyfe
05-31-2007, 10:32 PM
Uh, Nick doesn't do anything to our articles.

But imagine if he did...

Smed1065
05-31-2007, 10:33 PM
Great job.

Cochise
05-31-2007, 10:34 PM
Great stuff, Rainman. Glad to see Athan didn't get a hold of the article before it got published, or else we'd be reading about Otis Tyler in a sea of comma splices.

And he'd have regaled us with tales of Otis Tyler's days at KU, I'm sure.

Phobia
05-31-2007, 10:35 PM
And he'd have regaled us with tales of Otis Tyler's days at KU, I'm sure.
Heh heh. That's a whole lot funnier than you know.

Skip Towne
05-31-2007, 10:39 PM
And he'd have regaled us with tales of Otis Tyler's days at KU, I'm sure.
Remember Athan's report about old time Chiefs announcer Tom Hendricks? (Actually Tom Hedrick.)

Count Alex's Wins
05-31-2007, 11:07 PM
Remember Athan's report about old time Chiefs announcer Tom Hendricks? (Actually Tom Hedrick.)

That's my fault. I should check every name.

Mile High Mania
05-31-2007, 11:11 PM
GC... the thing you should take from this is that Kevin is having a conversation with the reader. There doesn't appear to be anything forced onto the reader... nothing that is trying to be too painfully clever...

It has an honest and open feel to it, something that even a guy that doesn't care for KC can appreciate.

Nice mix of nostalgia, humor and his personal touch. He's not trying to be the funny man or know it all on the forums with a "look what I said, aren't I smart" approach.

Virtua Chief
06-01-2007, 12:49 AM
Really good article

Wendychili14
06-01-2007, 01:03 AM
Yeah I know, impressive

RadeAM
06-01-2007, 01:37 AM
BEEN STANDIN' AROUND SUCKIN' ON A CHILIDOG

Count Alex's Wins
06-01-2007, 01:37 AM
Can someone please ban RadeAM?

Direckshun
06-01-2007, 01:43 AM
Put him and Wendychili14 on ignore. It cuts most of the threads around here tonight in half.

RadeAM
06-01-2007, 01:43 AM
Can someone please ban GoChiefs?

Wendychili14
06-01-2007, 01:43 AM
What did I do?

Count Alex's Wins
06-01-2007, 01:46 AM
I'm guessing RadeAM is that Tynes bitch.

RadeAM
06-01-2007, 01:46 AM
BEEN STANDIN' AROUND SUCKING ON MY BIG OL' CHILIDOG!

Direckshun
06-01-2007, 01:46 AM
I'm not real sure but I believe s/he's a sock puppet of Wendychili14.

RadeAM
06-01-2007, 01:48 AM
BEEN STANDIN' AROUND SUCKING ON MY BIG OL' CHILIDOG!

Count Alex's Wins
06-01-2007, 01:50 AM
I should just be a ****ing mod already. I'd have banned this idiot 10 minutes ago.

RadeAM
06-01-2007, 01:51 AM
BEEN STANDIN' AROUND SUCKING ON MY BIG OL' CHILIDOG!

KurtCobain
06-01-2007, 01:52 AM
I should just be a ****ing mod already. I'd have banned this idiot 10 minutes ago.

This shit's been going on for an hour. Good lord you'd be a slow mod.

RadeAM
06-01-2007, 01:53 AM
BEEN STANDIN' AROUND SUCKING ON MY BIG OL' CHILIDOG!

Logical
06-01-2007, 01:53 AM
I should just be a ****ing mod already. I'd have banned this idiot 10 minutes ago.

He is just f*cking stupid, so stupid he seems harmless.

Direckshun
06-01-2007, 01:54 AM
He is just f*cking stupid, so stupid he seems harmless.
Seems.

Before you know it he'll pop your head off with his vice-like jaws.

Logical
06-01-2007, 01:54 AM
BEEN STANDIN' AROUND SUCKIN' ON A CHILIDOG

You sure that is a chilidog, that mushroom head is sort of unusual on a chilidog.

RadeAM
06-01-2007, 01:54 AM
BEEN STANDIN' AROUND SUCKING ON MY BIG OL' CHILIDOG!

Count Alex's Wins
06-01-2007, 01:54 AM
This shit's been going on for an hour. Good lord you'd be a slow mod.

Oh, I'm sorry, I was kinda busy.

BEEN STANDIN' AROUND SUCKING ON MY BIG OL' CHILIDOG!

RadeAM
06-01-2007, 01:55 AM
STFU HOE

KurtCobain
06-01-2007, 01:55 AM
BEEN STANDIN' AROUND SUCKING ON MY BIG OL' CHILIDOG!

MINES BIGGER

rad
06-01-2007, 07:09 AM
That's because Kevin is the author.

Thank you Capt. Obvious. (and here I thought nobody would pick up on the humor intended by the wording of my post)

ExtremeChief
06-01-2007, 07:52 AM
Nice job Kevin. I remember a lot of the things you mentioned, and yet I still have all of my hair.

HemiEd
06-01-2007, 09:25 AM
That reads like something stolen from Gaz.

That makes me sorry I missed the Gaz era. Very nice job Kevin!