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pr_capone
05-31-2007, 11:38 PM
... the fill in best man actually, the original was deployed courtesy of the Air Force

I need some suggestions for the best man toast. Short and sweet is the ticket here while avoiding as many cliches as possible.

Ideas?

greg63
05-31-2007, 11:46 PM
To the bride and groom, but mostly the groom: be sure your couch is comfortable and that you never leave the house without your keys. :)
j/k

Seriously, just speak from your heart dude!

Dunit35
05-31-2007, 11:48 PM
"after I got out of rehab the sixth time, greg, oh greg, was the only man waiting on me. I love you man".

Count Alex's Losses
05-31-2007, 11:49 PM
Drop hints of a previous gay relationship.

Phobia
05-31-2007, 11:49 PM
We can't tell you how to toast your buddy and his bride, especially if you're looking to avoid cliche.

Just say something nice, maybe a quick story, and wish them the best.

Bowser
05-31-2007, 11:54 PM
"I remember the first time he showed me pictures of her tits on his camera phone. It waas like yesterday".

Don't forget the drunken slurred speech.

pr_capone
05-31-2007, 11:55 PM
"I remember the first time he showed me pictures of her tits on his camera phone. It waas like yesterday".

Don't forget the drunken slurred speech.

LMFAO

greg63
05-31-2007, 11:56 PM
We can't tell you how to toast your buddy and his bride, especially if you're looking to avoid cliche.

Just say something nice, maybe a quick story, and wish them the best.

Exactly!

Direckshun
06-01-2007, 12:18 AM
There was a day and a time in which there was promise for man. We were on the verge of an informational revolution, with potential prowess in the fields of not only intelligence and machine, but in heart and in relations.

And we threw it all away. Some say it happened during the Cold War. Others have postured that it took place upon the technological breakthrough of Eli Whitney and his magnificent cotton gin. But I believe not to be any particular period along a linear timeline. I believe it to have happened in the prehistoric ages, as the homo sapien race of northern Africa began its thousand year struggle against the homo neandertal of Europe. These two twisted species converged and incited a time of disproportionate warfare that infects us to this age.

Ladies and gentleman, man's only chance at peace died with the neandertals.

...

To the bride and groom!

RadeAM
06-01-2007, 12:21 AM
Bride

John or Ken?

trndobrd
06-01-2007, 01:05 AM
Tell a short, funny story about the Bride and groom early in their relationship. Funny, but not at the expense of the couple. Car breaking down, groom inexplicably leaving buddies, how they thought they were keeping things quiet but everyone knew they were going out....that sort of thing. Keep it short and one story.

My wife took our sweet time in getting married and my Dad had a good one at my wedding...."I really haven't thought of anything to say, which is suprising since I've had five years to come up with something."

pr_capone
06-01-2007, 01:06 AM
Tell a short, funny story about the Bride and groom early in their relationship. Funny, but not at the expense of the couple. Car breaking down, groom inexplicably leaving buddies, how they thought they were keeping things quiet but everyone knew they were going out....that sort of thing. Keep it short and one story.

My wife took our sweet time in getting married and my Dad had a good one at my wedding...."I really haven't thought of anything to say, which is suprising since I've had five years to come up with something."

I LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!

trndobrd
06-01-2007, 01:09 AM
I LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone in the room died laughing. He followed it up with some nice stuff about the bride and best wishes, etc.

Pushead2
06-01-2007, 07:17 AM
how bout

"I'd tap her , Good job ________"

Sure-Oz
06-01-2007, 08:36 AM
Just do it from the heart, it will come naturally...

do not get cards or anything like that to prepare, just go with your gut, i wasnt prepared for mine and did an excellent job. lasted a few min and to the point.

boogblaster
06-01-2007, 08:47 AM
Nope you find happiness amid your sorrow...its a long long time till death due you part ....

DMAC
06-01-2007, 09:30 AM
Here is your opening line...

(Grooms name) said that if I do a good job on this speech, he will let me be the best man at his next wedding, so here we go...

Fly O.T. McWall
06-01-2007, 10:16 AM
Here is your opening line...

(Grooms name) said that if I do a good job on this speech, he will let me be the best man at his next wedding, so here we go...
ROFL

ct
06-01-2007, 10:38 AM
Here is your opening line...

(Grooms name) said that if I do a good job on this speech, he will let me be the best man at his next wedding, so here we go...

Now THAT is funny!!

Just say something from the heart. (how's that for all of us avoiding the cliche?)

Chiefnj
06-01-2007, 11:40 AM
Someone once told me that the best man's toast should not last longer than the amount of time it will take the groom to consumate the marriage. Oops, I already took too long.

Donger
06-01-2007, 11:43 AM
Ladies and gentlemen, l'm sorry to drag you from your desserts. There are just one or two little things I feel I should say, as best man. This is only the second time l've been a best man. I hope I did OK that time. The couple in question are at least still talking to me. Unfortunately, they're not actually talking to each other. The divorce came through a couple of months ago. But l'm assured it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Paula knew Piers had slept with her sister before I mentioned it in the speech. The fact that he'd slept with her mother came as a surprise, but I think was incidental to the nightmare of recrimination and violence that became their two-day marriage. Anyway, enough of that. My job today is to talk about Angus. There are no skeletons in his cupboard. Or so I thought. I'll come on to that in a minute. I would just like to say this. I am, as ever, in bewildered awe of anyone who makes this kind of commitment that Angus and Laura have made today. I know I couldn't do it and I think it's wonderful they can. So, back to Angus and those sheep.

Donger
06-01-2007, 11:45 AM
When Bernard told me he was getting engaged to Lydia, I congratulated him because all his other girlfriends were such complete dogs. Although may I say how delighted we are to have so many of them here today. I'm particularly delighted to see Camilla, who many of you will remember as the first person Bernard asked to marry him. If I remember rightly, she told him to sod off.

And lucky for Lydia that she did.

ct
06-01-2007, 12:28 PM
Hey capone, I'll be makin a best man toast in August, not sure what I'm gonna say yet either.