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View Full Version : Ok... I came up with my "best man" toast...


pr_capone
06-02-2007, 01:02 AM
... for my buddies wedding in 14 hours.

Wotcher think?

Hello all! My name is Eric. I'm a little bit nervous as I have never been a best man before... and Evan told me that if I do a really good job today I could be the best man at his next wedding so here we go...

First and foremost... Ellen, you look absolutely beautiful. I don't think I have ever seen you as happy and smile as much as you have today. I would like to thank the both of you from the bottom of my heart for including me in your lives not only by your friendship, but also in the celebration of your marriage as the best man.

While researching what was appropriate to say during this speech I came across a quote from an early American author that really struck me. It says... ďA successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person."

With that in mind... may you both fall in love each and every day, and may it always be with one another.

I love you both.

Cheers

KcMizzou
06-02-2007, 01:05 AM
Good stuff. Really good.

But I wouldn't make a reference to the fact that you weren't the first choice for best man.

Other than that, I think it's just about perfect.

Demonpenz
06-02-2007, 01:07 AM
gay

SPchief
06-02-2007, 01:07 AM
Good stuff. Really good.

But I wouldn't make a reference to the fact that you weren't the first choice for best man.

Other than that, I think it's just about perfect.


Agreed, bringing up the first choice might get people thinking about the serviceman who couldn't be there. While it might be good for people to think about him, it could bring down the atmosphere.

pr_capone
06-02-2007, 01:11 AM
I think you are right... i meant it in humor but i can see how it could be taken otherwise.

Deleted. :D

KcMizzou
06-02-2007, 01:22 AM
The "at his next wedding" is a bit questionable too. If they all have a good sense of humor, it'll be great. If not (esp the bride), it'll be brutal...

It'd be a great line for my family, but some take weddings very, very seriously.

That's up to you. You know these people better than we do.

Mr. Flopnuts
06-02-2007, 01:24 AM
The "at his next wedding" is a bit questionable too. If they all have a good sense of humor, it'll be great. If not (esp the bride), it'll be brutal...

It'd be a great line for my family, but some take weddings very, very seriously.

That's up to you. You know these people better than we do.


I thought that was a great line. If they can't take a joke, **** em. You weren't even their first choice..........

pr_capone
06-02-2007, 01:26 AM
The "at his next wedding" is a bit questionable too. If they all have a good sense of humor, it'll be great. If not (esp the bride), it'll be brutal...

It'd be a great line for my family, but some take weddings very, very seriously.

That's up to you. You know these people better than we do.

His family has a GREAT sense of humor... hers I am not too sure of though I am pretty sure I will get a smile out of her. But I am one of HIS groomsmen, so that is whom I am playing to.

KcMizzou
06-02-2007, 01:27 AM
I thought that was a great line. If they can't take a joke, **** em. You weren't even their first choice..........Yeah.... my family'd love it... but I don't know if that's normal. Heh.

KcMizzou
06-02-2007, 01:27 AM
His family has a GREAT sense of humor... hers I am not too sure of though I am pretty sure I will get a smile out of her. But I am one of HIS groomsmen, so that is whom I am playing to.Cool... then you're set.

Mr. Flopnuts
06-02-2007, 01:30 AM
Yeah.... my family'd love it... but I don't know if that's normal. Heh.


Normal is a state of mind............At least, that's what I keep telling myself....... ;)

sedated
06-02-2007, 01:40 AM
I gave the best best man speech, and I hate giving speeches.

Compliment the bride. [check]
Thank whoever paid for the wedding and reception.
Reminisce on past events, funny stuff.
The have some sappy moment "The fact that you are happy couldn't make me happier" or something.

Have them laughing and crying.

The brides maids will be all over that :D

pr_capone
06-02-2007, 01:47 AM
I gave the best best man speech, and I hate giving speeches.

Compliment the bride. [check]
Thank whoever paid for the wedding and reception.
Reminisce on past events, funny stuff.
The have some sappy moment "The fact that you are happy couldn't make me happier" or something.

Have them laughing and crying.

The brides maids will be all over that :D

I looked up what to say for speeches and it included everything you said to, but on average they were taking over 5 minutes.

I felt that with this crowd that quick and dirty would go over much better than an oration.

Also, I am married so the brides maids are off limits. And even if they werent, they are some strange chicks... I would have to be VERY drunk to even try and hit on any of them. :D

sedated
06-02-2007, 01:52 AM
I looked up what to say for speeches and it included everything you said to, but on average they were taking over 5 minutes.

I felt that with this crowd that quick and dirty would go over much better than an oration.

get drunk enough and the speech goes in seconds.

I had 3 drinks in my hand when I made mine


(don't say anything dirty, or assume everyone will get certain types of humor. remember there are old people there)

Iowanian
06-02-2007, 06:38 AM
"Your marraige will have many ups and downs. May they only be while you are naked"

Count Zarth
06-02-2007, 06:49 AM
Gay.

Donger
06-02-2007, 06:56 AM
... for my buddies wedding in 14 hours.

Wotcher think?

Hello all! My name is Eric. I'm a little bit nervous as I have never been a best man before... and Evan told me that if I do a really good job today I could be the best man at his next wedding so here we go...

First and foremost... Ellen, you look absolutely beautiful. I don't think I have ever seen you as happy and smile as much as you have today. I would like to thank the both of you from the bottom of my heart for including me in your lives not only by your friendship, but also in the celebration of your marriage as the best man.

While researching what was appropriate to say during this speech I came across a quote from an early American author that really struck me. It says... ďA successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person."

With that in mind... may you both fall in love each and every day, and may it always be with one another.

I love you both.

Cheers

Maybe say something more about the groom?

DJay23
06-02-2007, 07:21 AM
I like the line about, "at your next marriage." It's funny. People will laugh.

Simplex3
06-02-2007, 07:58 AM
Gay.
Nice of you to finally come out of the closet.

:clap:

blueballs
06-02-2007, 08:02 AM
just standing up and belching out a garter
would be better all around

Simplex3
06-02-2007, 08:06 AM
Hello all! My name is Eric. I'm a little bit nervous as I have never been a best man before... and Evan told me that if I do a really good job today I could be the best man at all of his weddings, so here we go...

First and foremost... Ellen, you look absolutely beautiful. I don't think I have ever seen you as happy and smile as much as you have today. I would like to thank the both of you from the bottom of my heart for including me in your lives not only by your friendship, but also in the celebration of your marriage. as the best man

While researching what was appropriate to say during this speech I came across a quote from an early American author that really struck me. It says... ďA successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person."

With that in mind... may you both fall in love each and every day, and may it always be with one another.

I love you both.

Cheers
Two minor changes. The first allows for the possibility of people making the connection of "this one *is* all of them". Keeps it a joke, but it can be perceived that the joke is on you, not the bride.

The second reference to yourself as the best man seems slightly aggrandizing, and really misses the point. You're happy to be involved, best man or not.

One other hint, with a speech that short. If you aren't used to public speaking you're going to be tempted to blurt it out and get it over with. That will be really apparent with a speech that short, so make sure you take your time and speak slowly.

And picture you wife in her underwear.

Or was that the whole crowd?

boogblaster
06-02-2007, 09:32 AM
Sure hope the test came back negative...

DMAC
06-02-2007, 09:47 AM
I like the opening line (of course), but the rest is lame.

You need more roast.

Bob Dole
06-02-2007, 09:52 AM
That would work except for the fact that the bride's name is actually Helen.

Phobia
06-02-2007, 10:09 AM
I just want to know how you can predict her happiness and smiles a month away? What if it's a horrible wedding and she never smiles. What if she discovers the tape of the Bachelor Orgy?

Count Zarth
06-02-2007, 10:12 AM
Have any of you ever ditched a wedding for one of your immediate family members?

Phobia
06-02-2007, 10:19 AM
Have any of you ever ditched a wedding for one of your immediate family members?

No, but I've also never announced play by play on the internet of my sister being railed upon by a black guy down the hall from my bedroom either. I'm guessing she doesn't want you there anyway.

Count Zarth
06-02-2007, 10:22 AM
No, but I've also never announced play by play on the internet of my sister being railed upon by a black guy down the hall from my bedroom either. I'm guessing she doesn't want you there anyway.

It's the OTHER sister. And I'm already getting the "but you HAVE to come" whining.

Baconeater
06-02-2007, 10:25 AM
One correction.

First and foremost... Ellen, you look absolutely beautiful. I don't think I have ever seen you as happy and smile as much as you have today, which obviously means that you know you've given your last blow job. I would like to thank the both of you from the bottom of my heart for including me in your lives not only by your friendship, but also in the celebration of your marriage as the best man.

Phobia
06-02-2007, 10:26 AM
She's right. You do have to come. Go. It will be good to get out of your mother's basement. There may even be opportunities for vaginal intercourse there. Lots of bridesmaids want to hump the brother of the bride.

Count Zarth
06-02-2007, 10:28 AM
Lots of bridesmaids want to hump the brother of the bride.

Bullshit.

greg63
06-02-2007, 03:42 PM
...Nice words. :thumb:

pr_capone
06-02-2007, 09:04 PM
Well.... I'm home from the wedding now and the toast went over beautifully.

Many thanks to those who offered suggestions. :D

arrowheadnation
06-02-2007, 09:17 PM
Here's what I used at my buddy's wedding a couple years ago:

I took the mic....took a piece of paper out of my coat pocket and read..."Four score and 20 years ago.....oooh that's not the right one" (took another piece of paper out of my left pocket)....."I have a dream........hell, that's not it either." (get the real speech out of my front pocket) "Mary, you are glowing like always.....Kevin, you look good standing next to her......(then I went into the sappy stuff.....blah blah blah).

DMAC
06-02-2007, 10:05 PM
Here's what I used at my buddy's wedding a couple years ago:

I took the mic....took a piece of paper out of my coat pocket and read..."Four score and 20 years ago.....oooh that's not the right one" (took another piece of paper out of my left pocket)....."I have a dream........hell, that's not it either." (get the real speech out of my front pocket) "Mary, you are glowing like always.....Kevin, you look good standing next to her......(then I went into the sappy stuff.....blah blah blah).And somewhere, at that moment, a foghorn went "WAAA, waaaa".