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View Full Version : Food and Drink The Joys Of Cowboy Style Home Made Biscuits


FAX
06-10-2007, 02:07 PM
2 Cups Flour
1 Tsp Salt
4 Tsp Baking Powder
1 Heaping Tbs Shortening
Sufficient Milk To Make Soft Dough (do not knead much)

Cut out Biscuits, Bake at 425 until a light, golden brown on their little tops. (It's a good idea not to seperate them on the baking sheet but, rather, keep them touching so they rise up - not sideways - and keeps them from getting lonely.)

Serve with butter, honey/strawberry jam.

Just made this marvelous concoction and I can tell you they are awesome.

FAX

Stewie
06-10-2007, 02:11 PM
Sounds good, FAX.

BTW, don't tell Frankie about this. He had a heart attack don't ya know, and chimed in on the BBQ thread.

seclark
06-10-2007, 02:12 PM
shouldn't real cowboy biscuits be cooked over an open fire?
just asking.
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Fried Meat Ball!
06-10-2007, 02:13 PM
I'd think they should be over an open fire in cast iron.

Never done biscuits on cast iron. But cast iron makes the best damn cornbread you can imagine!

Fried Meat Ball!
06-10-2007, 02:14 PM
Aren't cowboy biscuits what happens when cowboys don't get enough cowboy fiber?

FAX
06-10-2007, 02:19 PM
shouldn't real cowboy biscuits be cooked over an open fire?
just asking.
sec

Definitely, Mr. seclark. I should have said, Quasi-Cowboy Style. I've made them using a cast iron dutch oven in campfire coals many times and they turn out the same if you're careful not to overcook.

It's amazingly easy to make these (it takes about 15 or 20 minutes), there's very little clean up, and they taste fabulous when dressed up with butter and jam. It's amazing to me how good they are when you consider the ingredients.

FAX

Stewie
06-10-2007, 02:21 PM
Definitely, Mr. seclark. I should have said, Quasi-Cowboy Style. I've made them using a cast iron dutch oven in campfire coals many times and they turn out the same if you're careful not to overcook.

It's amazingly easy to make these (it takes about 15 or 20 minutes), there's very little clean up, and they taste fabulous when dressed up with butter and jam. It's amazing to me how good they are when you consider the ingredients.

FAX

Flour (no matter the source), water, salt, and fat have sustained cultures for thousands of years... and it's pretty tasty, too.

FAX
06-10-2007, 02:32 PM
Flour (no matter the source), water, salt, and fat have sustained cultures for thousands of years... and it's pretty tasty, too.

Absolutely, Mr. Stewie. Another example of Intelligent Design for, were it not for flour, we'd be forced to eat salt soup and would likely to have failed as a species.

I think that something happens to the ingredients during the cooking process that causes the biscuits to change and taste different. I mean, the end product doesn't taste like a bunch of flour, salt, etc. They taste like something else.

FAX

Bacon Cheeseburger
06-10-2007, 03:19 PM
Sounds good, FAX.

BTW, don't tell Frankie about this. He had a heart attack don't ya know, and chimed in on the BBQ thread.
So I suppose this would be a bad time to mention how good those would be drenched in sausage gravy? :drool:

chagrin
06-10-2007, 03:29 PM
Thanks dude, I have yet to make my own biscuits, I think I shall knock this out tomorrow :)

seclark
06-10-2007, 04:10 PM
yaknow, you don't have to bake this mixture to create good eats.

boil a chicken/turkey and drop spoonfuls of the dough into the boiling water and it'll make excellent dumplings.

sec

Simply Red
06-10-2007, 04:18 PM
See me for saw-mill gravy.

Welcome Bk. BTW...

FAX
06-10-2007, 04:18 PM
Mr. chagrin: Enjoy. My cooking hints consist solely of 1) Don't overwork the dough. For some reason, kneading has an adverse effect on biscuit "lightness" and 2) Arrange the biscuits so they are touching each other on the baking sheet. This makes them rise up instead of flattening out.

Mr. seclark: You are 100% correct. The same recipe makes outstanding old-fashioned dumplings.

FAX THE BISCUIT MAN

FAX
06-10-2007, 04:26 PM
See me for saw-mill gravy.

Welcome Bk. BTW...

Thanks, Mr. Simply Red. What's your sawmill gravy recipe?

FAX

JBucc
06-10-2007, 04:30 PM
I just made a mini-batch of these. Very good Mr. Fax. Now that money grubbing dough boy will never see another penny of mine! I'd make some gravy but.....I don't want to right now.

FAX
06-10-2007, 04:40 PM
I just made a mini-batch of these. Very good Mr. Fax. Now that money grubbing dough boy will never see another penny of mine! I'd make some gravy but.....I don't want to right now.

I'm glad they worked out, Mr. JBucc. It took me a while to get the hang of the dough consistency and how much to work it, but there's nothing like a nice, hot, home-made, quasi-cowboy-style biscuit to put a friendly smile on your face and some baking power in your intestinal tract.

FAX

Simply Red
06-10-2007, 04:42 PM
1-sleeve of Jimmy Dean Hot breakfast sausage
3-teaspoons salt
.5-teaspoon sugar
dash of pepper
dash of crushed red pepper
4 Tsp. Margerine/Butter
apprx. 1/4 -> maybe 1/3 cup of flour (eye it)
4.5 cups 2% or 1% milk
2-Tsp. Evaporated Milk canned (critical)




Procedure:

scramble and brown sausage until elasticity is gone and is almost crispy bits. This will take some time (12 minutes or so on medium) not to worry sausage will retenderize once joined with wet product.

Drain some not all grease (1/2 of it, perhaps) Add marg./butter -> melt add flour once butter is melted. Slightly brown flour. But not too long. 3 minutes or so (we're not after a deep brown colored gravy here)

Keep stirring and continue to scrape bottom of pan (kinda laborsome, but results will be nice.)

Go ahead and add the remaining dry ingredients salt, pepp., sugar, flakes etc.

Gradually add milk little by little until desired thickness is achieved. Finish with the evaporated milk enhancement.

Remember:

if gravy is too thick adjust by adding milk little by little.

If too thin adjust my nuking a little (2 teaspoons at a time) marg./butter and .5 teaspoon of flour stirred and added to finished gravy.

Also, taste before serving. you may need to add a bit more salt as for everybody's tolerance of salt differs...

FAX
06-10-2007, 04:47 PM
Awesome, Mr. Simply Red.

I hereby nominate you for ChiefsPlanet 1st Degree Gravy Maker And Keeper Of The Crystal Ladle.

FAX

Simply Red
06-10-2007, 04:53 PM
Awesome, Mr. Simply Red.

I hereby nominate you for ChiefsPlanet 1st Degree Gravy Maker And Keeper Of The Crystal Ladle.

FAX

Why thanks. I freestyled that (impromptu-like) if you have a clue in the kitchen (which I'm certain you do) some minor adjustments may be needed. I never use recipes, unless baking a cake or cooking something that can't be adjusted along the way-> this gravy isn't one of those items.

Simply Red
06-10-2007, 04:59 PM
You are exactly right with the overkneading rule. A good rule of thumb is to take the biscuit mixture out of the bowl while still fairly wet, flour hands and fold just enough(as in like twice) to prevent sticking to the cutter. Overmixing cookies is another bad policy.

FAX
09-12-2008, 07:52 AM
Okay ... I really like working from home on certain days. I was sitting here posting away when, suddenly, I was struck by an overwhelmin' hankerin' for cowboy biscuits. So I walked into the kitchen, put some moves on, and 20 minutes later I'm enjoying a plate full of steaming hot, fresh out of the oven, cowboy biscuits slathered with sweet creamery butter and strawberry jam.

Oh, my God. These are good.

I, FAX, therefore, encourage any and all Planeteers to take a personal moment sometime soon and whip up some ding dang cowboy biscuits for yourself. They're easy, fast, the ingredients are inexpensive, and, to be honest, they're just about the most delicious darn biscuit thing in the whole world of all times.

FAX

HypnotizedMonkey
09-12-2008, 07:53 AM
it's all about the Dutch Oven.

Fried Meat Ball!
09-12-2008, 08:31 AM
So... what if I didn't cut them at all and cooked them in a cast iron skillet in the oven like a cake - then cut them?

FAX
09-12-2008, 08:37 AM
So... what if I didn't cut them at all and cooked them in a cast iron skillet in the oven like a cake - then cut them?

I don't see why that wouldn't work, Mr. Fire Me Boy! ... except maybe they wouldn't rise as much, maybe ... perhaps ... I don't know. I make a sweet biscuit thing for strawberry shortcake ... same recipe but with some sugar added and that goes in the oven as one big biscuit and it rises just fine. I cook cornbread in a cast iron skillet all at once and it rises. Biscuit dough isn't like a cake mix, though. I say, try it.

FAX

Fried Meat Ball!
09-12-2008, 08:40 AM
I don't see why that wouldn't work, Mr. Fire Me Boy! ... except maybe they wouldn't rise as much, maybe ... perhaps ... I don't know. I make a sweet biscuit thing for strawberry shortcake ... same recipe but with some sugar added and that goes in the oven as one big biscuit and it rises just fine. I cook cornbread in a cast iron skillet all at once and it rises. Biscuit dough isn't like a cake mix, though. I say, try it.

FAX

I know it's nothing like cake batter - I was using that as a descriptive. But I think it'll rise just fine.

Saggysack
09-12-2008, 08:43 AM
Just not a biscuit guy. Much prefer an english muffin, bagel or sourdough toast.

Saggysack
09-12-2008, 08:46 AM
I'll take that back. I do like flaky biscuits but those dense, cottonmouth, flour flavored dough puffs called biscuits, I'll pass.

Simply Red
09-12-2008, 08:48 AM
So... what if I didn't cut them at all and cooked them in a cast iron skillet in the oven like a cake - then cut them?

ROFL

seclark
09-12-2008, 08:55 AM
that dam fax just took my yob!!!

Pennywise
09-12-2008, 09:06 AM
I'm gonna try that recipe out as soon as I finish waxing my giant handlebar mustache.


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RJ
09-12-2008, 09:34 AM
Don't knead much or don't need much? Or both?

Fried Meat Ball!
09-12-2008, 09:42 AM
ROFL

Why are you laughing at me, Apricot Preserves Boy?

RJ
09-12-2008, 09:43 AM
FAX, when you make these at home, as opposed to over a campfire, do you use the cast iron dutch oven or a baking sheet?

My granny made scratch biscuits almost every morning of her life up into her seventies. I remember watching her do it, I think she could have made them blindfolded. She never measured, just threw stuff together and next thing you knew you were eating biscuits. Usually with sausage and eggs and gravy, always with tomatoes on the side in the summer. Good times.

FAX
09-12-2008, 09:45 AM
I'll take that back. I do like flaky biscuits but those dense, cottonmouth, flour flavored dough puffs called biscuits, I'll pass.

I am confident that you would like these biscuits, Mr. Saggysack. On my last one, I switched over from strawberry jam. For the top half, I elected to go with sweet creamery butter and clover honey. For the bottom half, I chose butter and a dollup of Welch's grape jelly. I challenge any man with a brainpan and more than one or two functioning taste buds to try either half and not want like 10 more biscuits like right friggin' now.

FAX

seclark
09-12-2008, 09:51 AM
FAX, when you make these at home, as opposed to over a campfire, do you use the cast iron dutch oven or a baking sheet?

My granny made scratch biscuits almost every morning of her life up into her seventies. I remember watching her do it, I think she could have made them blindfolded. She never measured, just threw stuff together and next thing you knew you were eating biscuits. Usually with sausage and eggs and gravy, always with tomatoes on the side in the summer. Good times.

my granny'd toss in some cinnamon and raisins. at least i think they were raisins. she also raised rabbits.
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RJ
09-12-2008, 09:52 AM
my granny'd toss in some cinnamon and raisins. at least i think they were raisins. she also raised rabbits.
sec


There are some things we are better off not knowing.

FAX
09-12-2008, 09:53 AM
FAX, when you make these at home, as opposed to over a campfire, do you use the cast iron dutch oven or a baking sheet?

My granny made scratch biscuits almost every morning of her life up into her seventies. I remember watching her do it, I think she could have made them blindfolded. She never measured, just threw stuff together and next thing you knew you were eating biscuits. Usually with sausage and eggs and gravy, always with tomatoes on the side in the summer. Good times.

I've done both, Mr. RJ, and perceive no significant difference between the two methods in terms of taste, consistency, and/or overall biscuit behavior. These, I just put on a cookie sheet thing. The trick to that is that you need to smush them up against each other before you bake them - not set them on the sheet with space between them. That way, when they cook, they rise up instead of spreading out!!!

FAX

stumppy
09-12-2008, 09:56 AM
Damn you FAX, damn you to hell.


My oven isn't working.

FAX
09-12-2008, 09:59 AM
What a wacky granny you had, Mr. seclark. I'll have to try that someday. I'll bet there are lots of variations you could come up with ... cheese biscuits ... cheddar cheese biscuits ... jalapeno cheese biscuits ... the list could go on and on ...

To be honest, I have been hesitant to mess around with the recipe too much, though. When you're thousands of miles from home and there's nobody around who loves you and the night is cold and your best friend is a bottle of Boone's Farm and a tire iron, a traditional, cowboy biscuit is just what the doctor ordered. Accept no substitutes.

FAX

seclark
09-12-2008, 10:03 AM
What a wacky granny you had, Mr. seclark. I'll have to try that someday. I'll bet there are lots of variations you could come up with ... cheese biscuits ... cheddar cheese biscuits ... jalapeno cheese biscuits ... the list could go on and on ...

To be honest, I have been hesitant to mess around with the recipe too much, though. When you're thousands of miles from home and there's nobody around who loves you and the night is cold and your best friend is a bottle of Boone's Farm and a tire iron, a traditional, cowboy biscuit is just what the doctor ordered. Accept no substitutes.

FAX
understood...
i like my burgers plain.
no sauce on my pizza
no beans in my chili
however, i will jam a wedge of lemon in my 40 ouncer.
sec

Pennywise
09-12-2008, 10:10 AM
my granny'd toss in some cinnamon and raisins. at least i think they were raisins. she also raised rabbits.
sec

The rabbits were probably for fertilizing her weed crop.

RJ
09-12-2008, 10:12 AM
When you're thousands of miles from home and there's nobody around who loves you and the night is cold and your best friend is a bottle of Boone's Farm and a tire iron, a traditional, cowboy biscuit is just what the doctor ordered. Accept no substitutes.
FAX


Sometimes a man has to lose himself before he can find anything.

I think that's from a movie but I don't recall which one.

Baby Lee
09-12-2008, 10:13 AM
We're of a southern biscuit lineage. Not to disparage the delicious cowboy biscuit.

Pretty much the same, 'cept the shortening is halved and butter replaces the other half and the milk is buttermilk.

And yes, you mix it just enough that the ingedients are aware of each other's existence.

Actually, we sift the dry together, and put the wet in with a few cursory strokes, and make sure those wet ingredients go in cold.



Oh, and butter and molasses is a suitable as any topping, plus you can dredge your sausage links through the molasses.

seclark
09-12-2008, 10:13 AM
The rabbits were probably for fertilizing her weed crop.

ROFL
i remember her sitting on the front porch, watching the sun go down and rolling a smoke(true). she did grow her own tobacco.
sec

RJ
09-12-2008, 10:23 AM
ROFL
i remember her sitting on the front porch, watching the sun go down and rolling a smoke(true). she did grow her own tobacco.
sec


Heh, mine liked snuff. Guess it didn't hurt her any, she lived to be 95.

FAX
09-12-2008, 10:25 AM
We're of a southern biscuit lineage. Not to disparage the delicious cowboy biscuit.

Pretty much the same, 'cept the shortening is halved and butter replaces the other half and the milk is buttermilk.

And yes, you mix it just enough that the ingedients are aware of each other's existence.

Actually, we sift the dry together, and put the wet in with a few cursory strokes, and make sure those wet ingredients go in cold.

Oh, and butter and molasses is a suitable as any topping, plus you can dredge your sausage links through the molasses.

I think your granny was making scones, Mr. Baby Lee.

But no problem, they're good too.

And, you're 100 percent el correcto on the issue of temperaturo, Mr. Baby Lee. It seems as though biscuits prefer to be kinda chilly during the actual making stage. Especially, as you say, the liquid ingredients. I think it has something to do with the shortning ... if it melts, the biscuits won't get all flaky during the baking stage which makes them less good during the eating stage.

FAX

Baby Lee
09-12-2008, 10:27 AM
I think your granny was making scones, Mr. Baby Lee.

But no problem, they're good too.

And, you're 100 percent el correcto on the issue of temperaturo, Mr. Baby Lee. It seems as if biscuits prefer to be kinda chilly during the actual making stage. Especially, as you say, the liquid ingredients. I think it has something to do with the shortning ... if it melts, the biscuits won't get all flaky during the baking stage.

FAX

Buttamilk bisket ain't no limey shit!!!!

And to think I went out of my way to give props to your brokeback mountain fare!!! :cuss::cuss:

seclark
09-12-2008, 10:28 AM
i'm sure getting hungry.
sec

FAX
09-12-2008, 10:38 AM
Buttamilk bisket ain't no limey shit!!!!

And to think I went out of my way to give props to your brokeback mountain fare!!! :cuss::cuss:

Simmah!!!

We must, Mr. Baby Lee, realize that there are probably about 1 million or 2 million (no more than 2 million probably, I wouldn't think) ways to make biscuits. We cannot, therefore, afford the time nor the emotional reserves to get angry over every single recipe that doesn't match up with your granny's.

Let us, instead, resolve to accept every biscuit in its own right and on its own terms without preconditions or stereotyping (except, of course, for Mr. seclark's granny's wacky raisin biscuit deal ... what's that all about?).

FAX

Simply Red
09-12-2008, 10:41 AM
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seclark
09-12-2008, 10:42 AM
Let us, instead, resolve to accept every biscuit in its own right and on its own terms without preconditions or stereotyping (except, of course, for Mr. seclark's granny's wacky raisin biscuit deal ... what's that all about?).

FAX

f@ck you and the fruit wheat you rode in on!
sec

Simply Red
09-12-2008, 10:42 AM
Due to the fact that you've helped coach me w/ my vocabulary, Fax. I've decided to come forth to let you know that my inbox is always open for any cooking questions.

FAX
09-12-2008, 10:45 AM
There is a great deal of biscuit animosity afoot in this thread. My granny would be ashamed of both of you and, no doubt, peg you right in the melon with one of her famous rock-hard, leaden, biscrete biscuits if she could.

FAX

Baby Lee
09-12-2008, 10:50 AM
There is a great deal of biscuit animosity afoot in this thread. My granny would be ashamed of both of you and, no doubt, peg you right in the melon with one of her famous rock-hard, leaden, biscrete biscuits if she could.

FAX

Why don't you go slather some congealed berry goo on your hardtack Mr. Fax.

DeezNutz
09-12-2008, 10:53 AM
2 Cups Flour
1 Tsp Salt
4 Tsp Baking Powder
1 Heaping Tbs Shortening
Sufficient Milk To Make Soft Dough (do not knead much)

Cut out Biscuits, Bake at 425 until a light, golden brown on their little tops. (It's a good idea not to seperate them on the baking sheet but, rather, keep them touching so they rise up - not sideways - and keeps them from getting lonely.)

Serve with butter, honey/strawberry jam.

Just made this marvelous concoction and I can tell you they are awesome.

FAX

Do you enjoy these little babies with gravy, too, Mr. Fax?

Fried Meat Ball!
09-12-2008, 10:53 AM
I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY SIMPLY RED WAS LAUGHING AT ME!!!

Simply Red
09-12-2008, 10:57 AM
I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY SIMPLY RED WAS LAUGHING AT ME!!!

I find it comical how often you endorse `cast-iron.` NTTAWWT

Fried Meat Ball!
09-12-2008, 11:01 AM
I find it comical how often you endorse `cast-iron.` NTTAWWT

It's good shit. :harumph:

Simply Red
09-12-2008, 11:01 AM
This thread has regained it's burst.

Simply Red
09-12-2008, 11:01 AM
It's good shit. :harumph:

I agree.

FAX
09-12-2008, 11:04 AM
There appears to be a subtle but growing sense of biscuit pique among the peep. This is not good. Biscuits are the food of goodness and nice and the food of getting along together and the food of young, nubile blondes running naked through a field of flowers.

It's time to set aside our buttermilk and our lard. It's time to reset our oven temperature based on elevation and barometric pressure. It's time to let our biscuits rise and rise and rise to the heavens as we cry out with one voice, "FAX's biscuits are the best biscuits ever!!!"

FAX

FAX
09-12-2008, 11:09 AM
Do you enjoy these little babies with gravy, too, Mr. Fax?

I would, of course, Mr. DeezNutz. I mean, who wouldn't? But, I don't make very good gravy. I think there's a recipe for sawmill gravy on this thread, but I haven't tried it yet.

What I really, really like is fried chicken gravy but the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX is hesitant to make fried chicken on the grounds that it is a form of poison and I, unfortunately, struggle making it for myself. It's a real problem around here.

FAX

RJ
09-12-2008, 11:15 AM
There appears to be a subtle but growing sense of biscuit pique among the peep. This is not good. Biscuits are the food of goodness and nice and the food of getting along together and the food of young, nubile blondes running naked through a field of flowers.

It's time to set aside our buttermilk and our lard. It's time to reset our oven temperature based on elevation and barometric pressure. It's time to let our biscuits rise and rise and rise to the heavens as we cry out with one voice, "FAX's biscuits are the best biscuits ever!!!"

FAX




I don't know, FAX. That all sounds great but how do we know it's not just some more empty election year rhetoric? That's a flowery speech, but are you and your biscuits ready to lead?

DeezNutz
09-12-2008, 11:25 AM
I would, of course, Mr. DeezNutz. I mean, who wouldn't? But, I don't make very good gravy. I think there's a recipe for sawmill gravy on this thread, but I haven't tried it yet.

What I really, really like is fried chicken gravy but the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX is hesitant to make fried chicken on the grounds that it is a form of poison and I, unfortunately, struggle making it for myself. It's a real problem around here.

FAX

Good to hear. Your biscuit palate seems particularly sensitive, so I was curious if you had another iteration for dealing with the gravy.

What a mixed blessing it is when one has a significiant other that is concerned with his well-being!

FAX
09-12-2008, 11:27 AM
I don't know, FAX. That all sounds great but how do we know it's not just some more empty election year rhetoric? That's a flowery speech, but are you and your biscuits ready to lead?

A legitimate concern, Mr. RJ, to be sure. The decision as to which biscuit deserves the opportunity to lead us into the next decade is an important one, there can be no doubt. Which biscuit do you trust? Which biscuit has the experience? Which biscuit will fight for your family? Vital questions, all.

Allow me to simply mention that I, FAX, have (in the course of only a few posts) completely and totally alienated two of the most respected and admired Planeteers of all times with comments about their grannies. If that isn't leadership, I don't know what is.

FAX

Simply Red
09-12-2008, 11:38 AM
understood...
i like my burgers plain.
no sauce on my pizza
no beans in my chili
however, i will jam a wedge of lemon in my 40 ouncer.
sec

Did you pour a little out onto the curb for your boy DenverChief? RIP

RJ
09-12-2008, 11:44 AM
A legitimate concern, Mr. RJ, to be sure. The decision as to which biscuit deserves the opportunity to lead us into the next decade is an important one, there can be no doubt. Which biscuit do you trust? Which biscuit has the experience? Which biscuit will fight for your family? Vital questions, all.

Allow me to simply mention that I, FAX, have (in the course of only a few posts) completely and totally alienated two of the most respected and admired Planeteers of all times with comments about their grannies. If that isn't leadership, I don't know what is.

FAX



That's a valid point. A strong leader can't be afraid to make politically unpopular decisions. Please all and you shall please none. But will you be able to reach across the aisle to bring ALL biscuits together, whether buttermilk or hardtack, scones or muffins, jelly or gravy? Such is the mark of a true leader, the sort of leader our ovens need now.

seclark
09-12-2008, 11:45 AM
Did you pour a little out onto the curb for your boy DenverChief? RIP

tonight i'll be taking a step ladder into hy-vee and setting it up at the scales next to the grapes.
sec

Baby Lee
09-12-2008, 11:56 AM
A legitimate concern, Mr. RJ, to be sure. The decision as to which biscuit deserves the opportunity to lead us into the next decade is an important one, there can be no doubt. Which biscuit do you trust? Which biscuit has the experience? Which biscuit will fight for your family? Vital questions, all.

Allow me to simply mention that I, FAX, have (in the course of only a few posts) completely and totally alienated two of the most respected and admired Planeteers of all times with comments about their grannies. If that isn't leadership, I don't know what is.

FAX

Buttermilk biscuits are the biscuits of small town America, when the liquid in them turns to steam, their very being whistles the theme to The Andy Griffith Show, and your elitist 'scone' smears will not stand in the land of common sense and flaky bite.

seclark
09-12-2008, 12:09 PM
unless i'm included, you're all racists
sin,

FAX
09-12-2008, 12:21 PM
That's a valid point. A strong leader can't be afraid to make politically unpopular decisions. Please all and you shall please none. But will you be able to reach across the aisle to bring ALL biscuits together, whether buttermilk or hardtack, scones or muffins, jelly or gravy? Such is the mark of a true leader, the sort of leader our ovens need now.

Excuse me if I'm out of line here, Mr. RJ ... but you seem to know a whole lot about politics and campaigning and governing and aisle-reaching and stuff like that. I could really use a Vice-Biscuit ... I don't suppose .... ??

FAX

Baby Lee
09-12-2008, 12:27 PM
Breaking, Baby Lee gains the endorsement of Garrison Keillor and PowderMilk Incorporated!!

Heavens they're tasty, and expeditious. Give shy persons the strength they need to get up and do what needs to be done. Made from whole wheat raised by Norwegian bachelor farmers, so you know they're not only good for you, they're pure, mostly. Get 'em in the bright blue box with a picture of a biscuit on the front, or ready-made in the brown bag with the dark stains that indicate freshness.
.

RJ
09-12-2008, 04:42 PM
Excuse me if I'm out of line here, Mr. RJ ... but you seem to know a whole lot about politics and campaigning and governing and aisle-reaching and stuff like that. I could really use a Vice-Biscuit ... I don't suppose .... ??

FAX


Well, I could probably bring in the middle aged white guy with a beer belly vote, which is obviously a key biscuit demographic. And I do make a good sausage gravy. So sure, why the heck not?

Baby Lee
09-12-2008, 05:32 PM
Well, I could probably bring in the middle aged white guy with a beer belly vote, which is obviously a key biscuit demographic. And I do make a good sausage gravy. So sure, why the heck not?
.
Breaking!!
RJ did not even own a Dutch Oven until last week!!!

FAX
09-12-2008, 06:14 PM
Well, I could probably bring in the middle aged white guy with a beer belly vote, which is obviously a key biscuit demographic. And I do make a good sausage gravy. So sure, why the heck not?

Awesome!!!

Now we just need some stuff like a platform (I've already inadvertently declared war on Mr. Baby Lee and Mr. seclark, so foreign affairs is taken care of), an office or something to run for, an opponent or enemy or nemesis or something, and some kind of reason to be doing this in the first place and we'll be all set!!

I'll tell you this, though. I'm pretty much dead set against those curly biscuits that Mr. seclark keeps pictures of.

FAX

RJ
09-12-2008, 06:38 PM
.

Originally Posted by SHTSPRAYERBreaking!!
RJ did not even own a Dutch Oven until last week!!![/QUOTE]


SHTSPRAYER is fully aware of the fact that the injuries I received while defending my country left me unable to lift a 7 quart cast iron dutch oven. I am shocked anyone would stoop so low as to mock my wounds.

RJ
09-12-2008, 06:54 PM
Awesome!!!

Now we just need some stuff like a platform (I've already inadvertently declared war on Mr. Baby Lee and Mr. seclark, so foreign affairs is taken care of), an office or something to run for, an opponent or enemy or nemesis or something, and some kind of reason to be doing this in the first place and we'll be all set!!

I'll tell you this, though. I'm pretty much dead set against those curly biscuits that Mr. seclark keeps pictures of.

FAX



Your inadvertent declarations of war should serve us well during the campaign. Nothing makes for better bumper stickers and T-shirts than a good war. How about....

Ayatollah you once, Ayatollah you twice.....Mr. Baby Lee is a Muslim!

Or

Mr. seclark. Wrong for gravy, wrong for jelly, wrong for biscuits.

boogblaster
09-12-2008, 08:21 PM
MR FAX .. a wonderful spread for them ther biscuits is ...
1 can pears
1 can pineapple
juice from 1 lime
3/4 cup sugar
mash pears and pineapple add sugar and juice cook in sause-pan till thick med-heat
smear on biscuits enjoy

Fried Meat Ball!
09-15-2008, 08:28 AM
I tried these biscuits on Friday to miserable results.

Didn't use enough milk. Never made biscuits before, and not a baker, so when I read it needed to be a slightly moist dough, apparently I didn't go moist enough.

Fried Meat Ball!
09-15-2008, 08:29 AM
Also tried to make country fried steak for the first time ever, also to miserable results.

The gravy I made, however, kicked ass.

I'm blaming my issues with cooking on Friday on me being sick.

seclark
09-15-2008, 08:34 AM
Your inadvertent declarations of war should serve us well during the campaign. Nothing makes for better bumper stickers and T-shirts than a good war. How about....

Ayatollah you once, Ayatollah you twice.....Mr. Baby Lee is a Muslim!

Or

Mr. seclark. Wrong for gravy, wrong for jelly, wrong for biscuits.

so, it's going to be this kind of a biscuit campaign?
sec

HonestChieffan
09-15-2008, 09:02 AM
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d191/Wooddust/DSC01974.jpg

I do mine in Dutch Oven...yummy

Fried Meat Ball!
09-15-2008, 09:16 AM
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d191/Wooddust/DSC01974.jpg

I do mine in Dutch Oven...yummy

I just didn't have enough milk in mine. The flavor was good, the texture was gawd awful.

BigOlChiefsfan
09-15-2008, 11:29 AM
Drinking Man's Biscuits & Gravy (http://www.americanfolk.com/bgq/features/feature5/chuckrecipe.html)

Ingredients:
2 lbs. ground beef
2 packages Jimmy Dean Sausage, Sage 12 oz.
black pepper, garlic powder
3 small cans (4 oz) of mushrooms (bits & pieces)
1/2 lb of butter
1/4 cup chopped fresh onions
1 small can evaporated milk
Whole milk
Bisquick

Directions:

Gravy -
Braise the beef and sausage, add black pepper and garlic powder
Add 2 cubes of butter and mix until melted
Add flour (approx. 1 cup) on very low heat until mixed evenly
Turn off heat - Add evaporated and stir until mixed thoroughly
Bring to boil and simmer
Add whole milk to thin
Add salt and pepper to taste


Biscuits

Use recipe on Bisquick box and mix for 27 biscuits
Add 1 1/2 TBSP of baking powder
Cut biscuits a little on the large side (cutting biscuits large will result in 18 to 20 actual biscuits)
Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes, or until browned (Note: this bake time and temperature differ from the Bisquik box. The larger biscuits require a longer bake time in order to bake through entirely. If directions on box are followed, biscuits will be brown on outside and gooey on the inside.)

seclark
09-15-2008, 12:09 PM
Drinking Man's Biscuits & Gravy (http://www.americanfolk.com/bgq/features/feature5/chuckrecipe.html)


i'm not seeing any booze in there. why call it "drinking man's"? are you going to have to put down a fifth of blackberry brandy to get over the running squirts from that gravy?
sec

FAX
09-15-2008, 12:52 PM
Bisquick? Bisquick? Get that Bisquick the hell off my thread.

Mr. RJ, I want every Bisquick man we can find rounded up and hauled off to Guantanamo immediately. I want them stipped naked by fat girls, waterboarded, ass spanked, and I want the 10 Commandments written in cursive on their buttocks with a friggin' permanent marker. Let's get to it.

Fear not, fellow Americans. The Bisquick people will not prevail. We will hunt them down like the dogs they are and bring them to justice.

FAX

RJ
09-15-2008, 12:56 PM
I tried these biscuits on Friday to miserable results.

Didn't use enough milk. Never made biscuits before, and not a baker, so when I read it needed to be a slightly moist dough, apparently I didn't go moist enough.



I made them Sunday morning. I also didn't add enough milk but realized the problem and corrected. It still wasn't enough. When I took them out of the oven they looked pretty bad - like so bad I was going to toss them in the garbage - but then I tried a bite. By golly, they were pretty danged good.

I'm sure the appearance problem is correctable but I, like you, am not a baker so it might take me a while to figure it out. Also, the Albuquerque altitude does funny things to cooking times.

That's it, I'll blame it on the mountains.

RJ
09-15-2008, 12:59 PM
Bisquick? Bisquick? Get that Bisquick the hell off my thread.

Mr. RJ, I want every Bisquick man we can find rounded up and hauled off to Guantanamo immediately. I want them stipped naked by fat girls, waterboarded, ass spanked, and I want the 10 Commandments written in cursive on their buttocks with a friggin' permanent marker. Let's get to it.

Fear not, fellow Americans. The Bisquick people will not prevail. We will hunt them down like the dogs they are and bring them to justice.

FAX



No problem. You keep the Supreme Court off my back, I'll handle the rest. Just don't ask any questions.

Fried Meat Ball!
09-15-2008, 01:01 PM
I made them Sunday morning. I also didn't add enough milk but realized the problem and corrected. It still wasn't enough. When I took them out of the oven they looked pretty bad - like so bad I was going to toss them in the garbage - but then I tried a bite. By golly, they were pretty danged good.

I'm sure the appearance problem is correctable but I, like you, am not a baker so it might take me a while to figure it out. Also, the Albuquerque altitude does funny things to cooking times.

That's it, I'll blame it on the mountains.

Yup. Like I said, the flavor of mine was fine, just too crumbly.

seclark
09-15-2008, 01:02 PM
I'm sure the appearance problem is correctable but I, like you, am not a baker so it might take me a while to figure it out. Also, the Albuquerque altitude does funny things to cooking times.

That's it, I'll blame it on the mountains.

biscuit hacks like yourself and fax are always looking to put the blame somewhere else.:rolleyes:
sec

FAX
09-15-2008, 01:16 PM
You have to add sufficient milk to make a kind of "sticky" dough, gentlemen. My dough is actually quite sticky - almost like paste, or something. Then, flatten the dough out on a board with flour on it. Remember, keep them cool while you're constructing and don't knead the dough more than once or twice or so at the most. Less is more when it comes to kneading, I've found. I usually just plop the dough down on some flour, sprinkle a little bit of flour on top, then flop them over one time ... that's it - just plop, sprinkle, and flop. Then cut them out, put them on a baking sheet or whatever you're using and have them touching each other so they'll rise up instead of sideways and "Boom!!" jam them in the oven!!! If they were cool before going in that hot oven, they should pop right up in a minute or so. Let them bake until they are a beautiful golden brown on top (not like those ugly, crusty-ass Bisquick biscuits in that picture, but like actual, real, dream biscuits that have a hint of flour and gentle, golden brown, goldenness on top) or until you can't stand it anymore and you pull one out and open it up and slam some butter on it. They're not bad half raw, to be honest, but if that one isn't done, just "Boom!" jam them in the oven some more!!!

FAX

FAX
09-15-2008, 01:20 PM
I tried these biscuits on Friday to miserable results.

Didn't use enough milk. Never made biscuits before, and not a baker, so when I read it needed to be a slightly moist dough, apparently I didn't go moist enough.

Don't give up, Mr. Fire Me Boy!. Everyone struggles at first. Just remember, once you do your first really awesome batch, you'll have it down pat for the rest of your life and all the past difficulties will be forever forgotten as you bask in the incomparable bliss of biscuit heaven.

Actually, I should have written that differently. Instead of "moist" dough, I should have said "sticky" dough, because that's more like what my dough is like.

FAX

Fried Meat Ball!
09-15-2008, 01:23 PM
Actually, I should have written that differently. Instead of "moist" dough, I should have said "sticky" dough, because that's more like what my dough is like.

FAX

Yeah. It's not me, it's the instructions. :harumph:

You owe me some biscuits.

seclark
09-15-2008, 01:55 PM
Yeah. It's not me, it's the instructions. :harumph:

You owe me some biscuits.

aren't you getting tired of this same old same old? blame the milk temp, blame the mountains, blame the consistency of the dough, etc...

it's time to work for change. we need a better biscuit:thumb:
sec

Baby Lee
09-15-2008, 02:02 PM
breaking
Mr. FAX decries buttermilk biscuits as sconelike, reports linking him to extensive history of consumption of English Muffins!!!
.

StcChief
09-15-2008, 02:03 PM
I'd think they should be over an open fire in cast iron.

Never done biscuits on cast iron. But cast iron makes the best damn cornbread you can imagine!
I had that and open cooked whole chickens/potato chunks w onions on Sat.
complete with Chuckwagon/cook... awesome. stuff.

Fried Meat Ball!
09-15-2008, 02:14 PM
I had that and open cooked whole chickens/potato chunks w onions on Sat.
complete with Chuckwagon/cook... awesome. stuff.

It is impossible to go wrong with cast iron.

:harumph:

RJ
09-15-2008, 03:09 PM
aren't you getting tired of this same old same old? blame the milk temp, blame the mountains, blame the consistency of the dough, etc...

it's time to work for change. we need a better biscuit:thumb:
sec


seclark wants to take away your biscuits. He thinks he knows what's best for your breakfast. He thinks we should all be eating raisin filled scones.

That's not change we can live with.

seclark
09-15-2008, 03:17 PM
seclark wants to take away your biscuits. He thinks he knows what's best for your breakfast. He thinks we should all be eating raisin filled scones.

That's not change we can live with.

once again, rj is wanting to avoid the real issues. people should have a choice. if they want raisins, they should have raisins w/o being scrutinized by big biscuit.
raisins are healthy.
sec

RJ
09-15-2008, 05:49 PM
once again, rj is wanting to avoid the real issues. people should have a choice. if they want raisins, they should have raisins w/o being scrutinized by big biscuit.
raisins are healthy.
sec



What seclark doesn't say is - how will he pay for the raisins? And the answer is simple. He'll pay for them with your tax dollars. Whether you want raisins or not, you'll be footing the bill. That's why FAX has proposed raisin vouchers. They'll be good for any dried fruit or fruit topping. No one would be forced to accept and pay for raisins they never wanted or asked for.

Also, under FAX's plan, we'll be researching alternative gravy sources while drilling for gravy that is within our reach right now. There are millions of fat people in this country who are filled with gravy but the laws as they are written prevent us from drilling them. Under FAX's plan, we'll begin drilling the fattest 10% of Americans immediately, bringing much needed relief to gravy prices while also creating high paying gravy drilling jobs.

seclark
09-16-2008, 06:50 AM
Also, under FAX's plan, we'll be researching alternative gravy sources while drilling for gravy that is within our reach right now. There are millions of fat people in this country who are filled with gravy but the laws as they are written prevent us from drilling them. Under FAX's plan, we'll begin drilling the fattest 10% of Americans immediately, bringing much needed relief to gravy prices while also creating high paying gravy drilling jobs.

here we go again...you can put icing on a biscuit, but it's still a biscuit.

while i was spending 20 years, working for biscuit freedom, where were fax and rj? my sources tell me they were abroad, collecting pac money from the bagel companies.

i ask you...bagels then, but biscuits now? really?
sec

Fried Meat Ball!
09-16-2008, 07:04 AM
I have to admit... given the choice between a biscuit or a bagel. I'd go with a cinnamon roll.

:drool:

Dough:
4 large egg yolks, room temperature
1 large whole egg, room temperature
2 ounces sugar, approximately 1/4 cup
3 ounces unsalted butter, melted, approximately 6 tablespoons
6 ounces buttermilk, room temperature
20 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 4 cups, plus additional for dusting
1 package instant dry yeast, approximately 2 1/4 teaspoons
1 1/4 teaspoons kosher salt
Vegetable oil or cooking spray

Filling:
8 ounces light brown sugar, approximately 1 cup packed
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
Pinch salt
3/4-ounce unsalted butter, melted, approximately 1 1/2 tablespoons

Icing:
2 1/2 ounces cream cheese, softened, approximately 1/4 cup
3 tablespoons milk
5 1/2 ounces powdered sugar, approximately 1 1/2 cups

For the dough: in the bowl of a stand mixer with the whisk attachment, whisk the egg yolks, whole egg, sugar, butter, and buttermilk. Add approximately 2 cups of the flour along with the yeast and salt; whisk until moistened and combined. Remove the whisk attachment and replace with a dough hook. Add all but 3/4 cup of the remaining flour and knead on low speed for 5 minutes. Check the consistency of the dough, add more flour if necessary; the dough should feel soft and moist but not sticky. Knead on low speed 5 minutes more or until the dough clears the sides of the bowl. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface; knead by hand about 30 seconds. Lightly oil a large bowl. Transfer the dough to the bowl, lightly oil the top of the dough, cover and let double in volume, 2 to 2 1/2 hours.

Combine the brown sugar, cinnamon and salt in a medium bowl. Mix until well incorporated. Set aside until ready to use.

Butter a 9 by 13-inch glass baking dish. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface. Gently shape the dough into a rectangle with the long side nearest you. Roll into an 18 by 12-inch rectangle. Brush the dough with the 3/4-ounce of melted butter, leaving 1/2-inch border along the top edge. Sprinkle the filling mixture over the dough, leaving a 3/4-inch border along the top edge; gently press the filling into the dough. Beginning with the long edge nearest you, roll the dough into a tight cylinder. Firmly pinch the seam to seal and roll the cylinder seam side down. Very gently squeeze the cylinder to create even thickness. Using a serrated knife, slice the cylinder into 1 1/2-inch rolls; yielding 12 rolls. Arrange rolls cut side down in the baking dish; cover tightly with plastic wrap and store in the refrigerator overnight or up to 16 hours.

Remove the rolls from the refrigerator and place in an oven that is turned off. Fill a shallow pan 2/3-full of boiling water and set on the rack below the rolls. Close the oven door and let the rolls rise until they look slightly puffy; approximately 30 minutes. Remove the rolls and the shallow pan of water from the oven.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

When the oven is ready, place the rolls on the middle rack and bake until golden brown, or until the internal temperature reaches 190 degrees F on an instant-read thermometer, approximately 30 minutes.

While the rolls are cooling slightly, make the icing by whisking the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer until creamy. Add the milk and whisk until combined. Sift in the powdered sugar, and whisk until smooth. Spread over the rolls and serve immediately.

seclark
09-16-2008, 07:06 AM
^you should have that choice^
sec

Fried Meat Ball!
09-16-2008, 07:08 AM
^you should have that choice^
sec

But I don't like raisins in my biscuits, bagels OR cinnamon rolls.

Fried Meat Ball!
09-16-2008, 07:09 AM
Where's the "whop-biscuit" contingent.

For convenience, it's pretty hard to beat Grands.