M-Fing bird and its nest... in my attic, of course - suggestions needed

[Simplex3]

So I go up there to scoop up the nest and babies to dispose of them. Sadly (for me) the adult bird is in there. The f**ker actually dive bombs me and makes contact. Given that I'm adverse to contact by unknown animals, anybody have a suggestion to get that f**ker to leave voluntarily so I can block the hole he's coming in and remove the reason he wants to be in there?

*edit* I'm most certainly not above poisoning the little f**ker if anyone knows of one that works well.

[Branden Albert's Huge Balls]

I got dive bombed once.

[ChiefsFire]

12 gauge...buckshot

[Simplex3]

12 gauge...buckshot
Yes, that wouldn't do any damage to my house.

I don't know anyone that owns a pellet gun or this wouldn't be an issue.

[Redrum_69]

ANTIFREEZE

[JBucc]

I've heard if you get your scent on the nest the mother will leave. Try spraying the nest with a nice piss.

[Redrum_69]

I got Cleveland steamered once.


FYP

[Branden Albert's Huge Balls]

STFU moron.

[bogie]

Salt the tail.

[Simplex3]

I've heard if you get your scent on the eggs the mother will leave. Try spraying the nest with a nice piss.
Yes, the eggs aren't eggs anymore, that's how I found out they were up there.

Also, if I could get to the nest without getting bit and scratched up I'd have done it already. I need to get the adult out (or dead) so I can get rid of the babies.

[Redrum_69]

Nick "The Erroneous One" Athan golden showered me once.


FYP

[Joe Seahawk]

I solved my woodpecker problem with one of these.. fun too!

http://www.theshootersbox.com/store/images/air_guns/crossman_air_rifle_CRR1K77P.jpg

[bogie]

It's got to leave eventually to get food. Keep checking on it to see if it's left. When it's gone, scurry to get the hole plugged.

[Simplex3]

It's got to leave eventually to get food. Keep checking on it to see if it's left. When it's gone, scurry to get the hole plugged.
Tried that. The adults are working in pairs. :cuss:

[Simplex3]

I solved my woodpecker problem with one of these.. fun too!

http://www.theshootersbox.com/store/images/air_guns/crossman_air_rifle_CRR1K77P.jpg
Can I borrow it?

[FAX]

This calls for an affordable, effective, and easy-to-use can of Squawk-B-Gone.

Anybody got one?

FAX

[BIG_DADDY]

:bang:

[FAX]

An easy four step process to permanently solve this terrible problem, Mr. Simplex3.

Step 1. Purchase some bird seeds.
Step 2. Place the bird seeds several yards away from your house.
Step 3. Wait.
Step 4. While the birds are busy going for the seeds, sell your house.

FAX

[bogie]

An easy four step process to permanently solve this terrible problem, Mr. Simplex3.

Step 1. Purchase some bird seeds.
Step 2. Place the bird seeds several yards away from your house.
Step 3. Wait.
Step 4. While the birds are busy going for the seeds, sell your house.

FAX


ROFL

[bogie]

Tried that. The adults are working in pairs. :cuss:

When the mother bird is gone and the father bird is protecting the nest, hire a hooker bird to lure him outside, then plug up the hole.

[bishop_74]

Why do you need to get rid of the nest? Can't you wait until after the abandon it in say 2 weeks to a month?

[Simplex3]

Why do you need to get rid of the nest? Can't you wait until after the abandon it in say 2 weeks to a month?
Repairing the hole from the outside is going to take a serious ladder, which I don't own. The guys painting my house right now do. They'll be closing off that hole tomorrow. Anyone (or anything) left in there is going to be toast.

[FAX]

When the mother bird is gone and the father bird is protecting the nest, hire a hooker bird to lure him outside, then plug up the hole.

Good plan, but hooker birds can be extremely expensive, Mr. bogie. Especially the good ones. It would be far less costly for Mr. Simplex3 to merely dress up like a hooker bird, show a little beak, and while the father bird is making his offer, cuff him and take him downtown.

FAX

[TinyEvel]

Relocate the nest.

BTW, sorry, but does anyone else think it's pretty F-ing funny to imagine salty old Simplex3 getting pwned by some birds in his attic? Dive bombs away!

GO BIRDS!

[Simplex3]

BTW, sorry, but does anyone else think it's pretty F-ing funny to imagine salty old Simplex3 getting pwned by some birds in his attic?
My wife came home and had to ask me what I was laughing so hard about. It was tough to explain that I was laughing at ME.

[bogie]

Good plan, but hooker birds can be extremely expensive, Mr. bogie. Especially the good ones. It would be far less costly for Mr. Simplex3 to merely dress up like a hooker bird, show a little beak, and while the father bird is making his offer, cuff him and take him downtown.

FAX

I guess you're right. For me, money is no object when hiring hooker birds.

[Bwana]

.

[Fairplay]

At my work place on occasion a bird will get into the warehouse. The dumb bird will be in there and are to stupid to notice the huge shipping doors open to get out.

This works every time to get them out. We turn out all the lights and leave an opening for the bird to see the light from outside a door. They fly out every time. I don't know how your attic is set up, but you might try that.

[cdcox]

Borrow a cat

[frazod]

Disguise some lead pellets under a pile of ACME birdseed, then get a really big magnet, and.... oh wait, that never worked, did it? :doh!:

[go bowe]

My wife came home and had to ask me what I was laughing so hard about. It was tough to explain that I was laughing at ME.hell, i get in serious trouble with the little lady when i laugh out loud at some of the gems that dot the chiefs planent landscape and wake her up...

not good at all...

[Simplex3]

Ok, so I'm now the proud owner of a BB/Pellet gun. Crisis over.

Simplex3: 3
Birds: 0

[Fish]

Sweeeet.....

[Tinlar]

Don't look at me, I'm waiting for someone to start a thread on the birds behalf to help them come up with ways to get Simplex out of the house.

[Redrum_69]

Ok, so I'm now the proud owner of a BB/Pellet gun. Crisis over.

Simplex3: 3
Birds: 0



Spade or neuter your birds.....

[seclark]

Ok, so I'm now the proud owner of a BB/Pellet gun. Crisis over.

Simplex3: 3
Birds: 0
dude...you shot the baby birds w/a pellet gun?
sec

[Redrum_69]

dude...you shot the baby birds w/a pellet gun?
sec



Yeah, thats a waste.

THose things would have been great catfish bait.


I shoot birds all the time and toss them on the pond. They make great bait for the snapping turtles and then I can shoot the turtles....

[seclark]

Yeah, thats a waste.

THose things would have been great catfish bait.


I shoot birds all the time and toss them on the pond. They make great bait for the snapping turtles and then I can shoot the turtles....
trotlines, and they're easy to put on the hook. not much sport in shooting baby birds still in the nest though.
sec

[Fire Me Boy!]

An easy four step process to permanently solve this terrible problem, Mr. Simplex3.

Step 1. Purchase some bird seeds.
Step 2. Place the bird seeds several yards away from your house.
Step 3. Wait.
Step 4. While the birds are busy going for the seeds, sell your house.

FAX


ROFL ROFL ROFL

.

[wilas101]

trotlines, and they're easy to put on the hook. not much sport in shooting baby birds still in the nest though.
sec


maybe he dumped them on the floor and shot them on the run?

I would have used darts simply as an exercise in hand eye coordination.

[Simplex3]

trotlines, and they're easy to put on the hook. not much sport in shooting baby birds still in the nest though.
sec
I had to shoot the mother bird to get my attic cleaned out, so they were going to die one way or another. I'm pretty sure the babies were already dead, though. It was hot as hell up there and when I shot them neither of them moved a muscle. Either I'm the best shot ever or they weren't Ok to begin with.

I also scooped up two other bird carcasses while I was up there, so I'm guessing that it's been a fairly common occurrence.

Additionally, there was no nest. The lazy f**kers were just bedding in my insulation.

[Dartgod]

Ok, so I'm now the proud owner of a BB/Pellet gun. Crisis over.

Simplex3: 3
Birds: 0
You'll shoot your eye out, kid.