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View Full Version : The best part about camping...


luv
06-17-2007, 10:30 AM
...is that it really makes you appreciate your bathroom. I've been taking mine for granted for too long.

Chief Roundup
06-17-2007, 10:31 AM
Is not going.

luv
06-17-2007, 10:33 AM
Is not going.
Oh c'mon. Camping was a blast. Watching guys trying to start a fire is very entertaining. I can now play connect the dots on my feet and ankles, too.

FAX
06-17-2007, 10:36 AM
I particularly like the giant spiders.

FAX

Mr. Flopnuts
06-17-2007, 10:36 AM
If you went camping and woke up the next morning and found vasoline smeared all over your ass would you tell anyone? If not, wanna go camping?

FAX
06-17-2007, 10:37 AM
If a tree falls on your tent and kills you dead in the woods and there's no one there, does it make a sound?

FAX

MOhillbilly
06-17-2007, 10:42 AM
i know a guy that has a shit patch instead of a toliet. dude really stank in the winter.

luv
06-17-2007, 10:47 AM
I particularly like the giant spiders.

FAX
Didn't see too many spiders. However, I'm a friggin' mesquito magnet. I WANT TO SCRATCH MY FEET!!!!

Count Zarth
06-17-2007, 10:50 AM
Sex in the woods.

FAX
06-17-2007, 10:52 AM
Didn't see too many spiders. However, I'm a friggin' mesquito magnet. I WANT TO SCRATCH MY FEET!!!!

A good wilderness survival technique is to cover yourself with giant spiders while camping, Ms. luv. They eat the mosquitos before they have a chance to bite. Just be sure they don't go all Shelob on you.

FAX

JBucc
06-17-2007, 10:54 AM
Sex in the woods.Might've been good for you, but I doubt the deer carcass feels the same.

cdcox
06-17-2007, 11:38 AM
Playing with fire is the best part of camping.

PinkFloyd
06-17-2007, 11:47 AM
Went camping last May and woke up to 3 rattlesnakes who crawled UNDER the tent and then UNDER 2 different sleeping bags to keep warm at night...

It was fricking awesome !!!!! Just think --- there was nothing but the "floor" of the tent and a sleeping bag seperating you from one of natures most intriging reptiles !!!

luv
06-17-2007, 11:48 AM
Playing with fire is the best part of camping.
Two females and four males. Who gets the fire started? :)

PinkFloyd
06-17-2007, 11:50 AM
Two females and four males. Who gets the fire started? :)

Which ever one who makes the first move !!

PinkFloyd
06-17-2007, 11:50 AM
And speaking of rattlesnakes --- we're on the way here in a minute to watch the rattlesnakes "sunbathing" on the rocks near a railroad track...

Count Zarth
06-17-2007, 11:58 AM
And speaking of rattlesnakes --- we're on the way here in a minute to watch the rattlesnakes "sunbathing" on the rocks near a railroad track...

Missouri's social scene hasn't changed much in 100 years...

blueballs
06-17-2007, 12:12 PM
meh
men pitch a tent every morinig

Rain Man
06-17-2007, 12:27 PM
If a tree falls on your tent and kills you dead in the woods and there's no one there, does it make a sound?

FAX

I would imagine it says, "THIS is for all that paper you waste. Payback's a forest fire, baby!"

FAX
06-17-2007, 12:31 PM
I would imagine it says, "THIS is for all that paper you waste. Payback's a forest fire, baby!"

That's the thing about hanging out in the wilderness, Mr. Rain Man.

You're always in danger of life and limb.

FAX

Rain Man
06-17-2007, 12:32 PM
I particularly like the giant spiders.

FAX

An employee of mine went camping out in the desert, and he said he had a little one-person tent where you kind of crawl in and the top of the tent is only a couple of feet tall. He woke up in the morning, opened his eyes, and there was a big ol' tarantula hanging upside down right above his face. It was apparently warming itself with his breath.

Hilton for me, please.

Buck
06-17-2007, 12:32 PM
The best part about camping is missing work.

Mr. Laz
06-17-2007, 02:26 PM
never been a big fan of camping


i see all these people out there camping and they buy so much stuff just to make camping as much like being at home as possible.

why not just stay at home?

Chieftain58
06-17-2007, 02:34 PM
Camping is fun until the beer runs out and the Jet Ski's run out of fuel and then your buddies disappear and your left putting the camper and ski's away with you and your pregnant wife.

PastorMikH
06-17-2007, 04:23 PM
Camping is fun until the beer runs out and the Jet Ski's run out of fuel and then your buddies disappear and your left putting the camper and ski's away with you and your pregnant wife.


I see you're familiar with lake outings. Odd how that works isn't it? It's amazing how many friends you have willing to chip in and help when it's time to get ready to go. Almost as amazing as how fast the dissappear right before it's time to pack up and go home.

PinkFloyd
06-17-2007, 04:51 PM
Missouri's social scene hasn't changed much in 100 years...

Awwww... But it has... People use to run from them or get their little pricks bit by them... The art is in catching these pissed off little critters... So far ---- so good....

We go in and bag rattlesnakes for area farmers and then transport them to a place designated by the Missouri Department of Conservation...

Count Zarth
06-17-2007, 04:53 PM
So now Missouri is full of tree-huggin' save-the-snakes hippies...wonderful...

PinkFloyd
06-17-2007, 04:58 PM
So now Missouri is full of tree-huggin' save-the-snakes hippies...wonderful...

ROFL Actually it's a $5,000 fine if you get caught killing a timber rattlesnake... You may only kill it if it's in danger to your livestock or your family...

BucEyedPea
06-17-2007, 04:59 PM
I only go for the food.


More smores!
Burnt to a crisp marshmellows.....yummmmmmmmm!

Easy 6
06-17-2007, 05:33 PM
Real camping...ie; no camper, showers or toilets...is the best, you really learn how to manage without modern amenities.

Imagine some disaster where you are displaced from your home...then what??? If you dont have some background in the outdoors, you are in even deeper trouble.

What could be more primordial than sitting around a fire & cooking some animal over it???

Answer - Nothing, its the best.

CAVEMAN LIVES!!!

Ari Chi3fs
06-17-2007, 05:36 PM
...is wiping with poison ivy leaves.

luv
06-17-2007, 05:46 PM
Hangovers really suck when you have to walk to an outhouse and then attempt to help pack up camp to go home.

Simply Red
06-17-2007, 05:56 PM
pooping in nature...

PinkFloyd
06-17-2007, 06:26 PM
For those of you who might have heard of Wallace State Park near Cameron --- Don't ever, never, don't even think about it, don't EVERRRR go camping there... You will wake up with more snakes under your tent and in your sleeping bags than the KC Zoo has in stock !!! :shake: :shake: :shake: :shake: :shake: :shake: :shake:

BucEyedPea
06-17-2007, 06:51 PM
never been a big fan of camping


i see all these people out there camping and they buy some much stuff just to make camping as much like being at home as possible.

why not just stay at home?
LMAO That's pretty funny laz.

I used to river raft up in Maine in the summer. I would never camp out.
I always had to have a cabin and brought an electric blanket ( it could get cold upt here in summer). It was just like home. Everyone else camped out though. Fools.

luv
06-17-2007, 08:48 PM
"Cure" for chiggers? I thinks that's what's all over my feet. I've heard toothpaste and clear fingernail polish. I'm getting out the clear polish right now.

cdcox
06-17-2007, 08:54 PM
For those of you who might have heard of Wallace State Park near Cameron --- Don't ever, never, don't even think about it, don't EVERRRR go camping there... You will wake up with more snakes under your tent and in your sleeping bags than the KC Zoo has in stock !!! :shake: :shake: :shake: :shake: :shake: :shake: :shake:

That was one of our regular camping spots when I was a boyscout in the '70s. Never saw a rattler. Has there been a growth in their population in recent years?

Rain Man
06-17-2007, 08:57 PM
This one time, I stayed at a Comfort Inn, and they didn't have any shampoo in the bathroom. None.

FAX
06-17-2007, 09:01 PM
I once set my girlfriend on fire while attempting to protect her from some wierd bugs.

FAX

Demonpenz
06-17-2007, 09:03 PM
last time i went camping there was these showers that cost a quarter to take a shower in and somehow there was an electric charge because i put my change in and got ****ing zapped.

FAX
06-17-2007, 09:11 PM
This one time I saw a guy face out while eating a smore and he got up with marshmellows, and graham, and dirt and stuff stuck to his nose. He looked like the creature from the Hershey Lagoon.

FAX

Bacon Cheeseburger
06-17-2007, 09:56 PM
This one time, I stayed at a Comfort Inn, and they didn't have any shampoo in the bathroom. None.
Holy crap, I bet you had to wait at least 10-15 minutes for someone to bring you some too. Or even worse....you had to walk to the front desk to get it. Yours is truly a tale of survival.

Nzoner
06-17-2007, 09:58 PM
is taking a piss in the great outdoors,hell there's numerous times I walk out on my deck amd take a piss over the side just so I can hear the bullfrogs down at the pond and pretend I'm on a camping trip.

cdcox
06-17-2007, 10:14 PM
is taking a piss in the great outdoors,hell there's numerous times I walk out on my deck amd take a piss over the side just so I can hear the bullfrogs down at the pond and pretend I'm on a camping trip.

Pissing off one's deck is one of the great pleasures of life. I need to remember to do this more often.

Rain Man
06-17-2007, 10:22 PM
Holy crap, I bet you had to wait at least 10-15 minutes for someone to bring you some too. Or even worse....you had to walk to the front desk to get it. Yours is truly a tale of survival.

The human will is amazing.

TinyEvel
06-17-2007, 10:22 PM
At our old house. I used to work on my bus out in my detached garage. I'd have a twelve pack out there on ice. I'd go behind the garage and piss in the soil in a 2 gallon planter that was there when we moved in.
One time the wife came out there and saw me and by her reaction I thought she was going to divorce me.

cdcox
06-17-2007, 10:26 PM
I used to work on my bus out in my detached garage.

TMI

PastorMikH
06-17-2007, 11:36 PM
ROFL Actually it's a $5,000 fine if you get caught killing a timber rattlesnake... You may only kill it if it's in danger to your livestock or your family...



Uhm, if I so much as SEE a Timber Rattler I figure my life is in danger and start shooting. If a black snake wiggles it's tail in the leaves to imitate a rattler I take the same action.

Dunit35
06-17-2007, 11:46 PM
If you went camping and woke up the next morning and found vasoline smeared all over your ass would you tell anyone? If not, wanna go camping?


Never heard that.

If we went camping and you woke up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?

If not, wanna go camping?

Saggysack
06-18-2007, 02:06 AM
"Cure" for chiggers? I thinks that's what's all over my feet. I've heard toothpaste and clear fingernail polish. I'm getting out the clear polish right now.

Vaseline. Gotta cut off their air supply.

KC Kings
06-18-2007, 08:18 AM
"Cure" for chiggers? I thinks that's what's all over my feet. I've heard toothpaste and clear fingernail polish. I'm getting out the clear polish right now.

I have never been bitten by a chigger. I spend a lot of time in the outdoors, for an IT guy living in KC, and even growing up we would be cutting bruch in the same spot or even wrestling in the same grass and my brother would get covered with chigger bites and I wouldn't be affected at all.

On the flip side, my brother doesn't get affected by poison ivy hardly at all. He will get a small rash but it doesn't bother him. I am severly alergic to it, and would usually have it somewhere on my body all summer long as a kid, and have had it internally at least 10 times. The last time I got it internally was from a controled burn that went through a patch of it. They make this stuff called Zanafel that is $35 for a little tube, but you rub it on your rash and it breaks the skin, absorbs the poison oil and washes off. It works, and so if you ever get poison ivy you should spend the money to get rid of it.

StcChief
06-18-2007, 09:17 AM
is taking a piss in the great outdoors,hell there's numerous times I walk out on my deck amd take a piss over the side just so I can hear the bullfrogs down at the pond and pretend I'm on a camping trip.
I piss regularly in the woods with my dog. Keeps deer away.

Fish
06-18-2007, 10:21 AM
I've spent 3 of the last 4 weekends in my tent.... I'm actually looking forward to a weekend at home this weekend...

luv
06-18-2007, 10:24 AM
I've spent 3 of the last 4 weekends in my tent.... I'm actually looking forward to a weekend at home this weekend...
The last three weekends have been in Tallahassee, KC, and Stockton Lake. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself this weekend.

Mr. Plow
06-18-2007, 10:28 AM
Two females and four males.

I bet two of those guys were in some awkward positions over the weekend.

Fish
06-18-2007, 10:31 AM
The last three weekends have been in Tallahassee, KC, and Stockton Lake. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself this weekend.

In the last month, I've canoed the Kansas river one weekend, Niagua river the next, and camped with my daughter at Tuttle Creek last weekend. The tops of my feet are still a very ugly red/purple/greenish color, and I can't stand wearing my work shoes again...

kepp
06-18-2007, 10:47 AM
"Cure" for chiggers? I thinks that's what's all over my feet. I've heard toothpaste and clear fingernail polish. I'm getting out the clear polish right now.
I don't know about the toothpaste, but nail polish works. They'll continue to itch for a while, but your body will eventually expel their rotting carcases naturally.

Fish
06-18-2007, 10:58 AM
http://www.epinions.com/images/opti/d7/c9/wellSuppliesFirst_AidItchAllColgin_Chigarid-resized200.gif

Redrum_69
06-18-2007, 11:19 AM
I dont like telling this story, but here it goes.


This took place about 10 years ago. There were four of us who decided to backpack through a few miles of countryside. What normally would be a one day outing, turned into a multiple day excusion full of twists and turns. For example, when we were almost to our destination, our car died. We had no cell phone, never seen anyone on this gravel road we were on. The road was a shortcut and we were 9 miles from our destination. We decided to just lock up the car, and start our hike earlier than expected. Two hours in and the three women I was with needed a break, so it was then we realized that the friend of this girl I liked forgot the damn food bag back at the car. I told the three women to stay there at the camp, after I had made a secure fire and helped pitch the tents. I volunteered to go back to the car for the food. Two hours back and I get to the car, or where the car should have been. All that was left was broken glass on the road where the car was parked.

Ok, not good. No food rations, nothing but a tire trail leading off in the opposite direction with two sets of boot prints. No other tire trails other than our car. I look around for a landmark, anything to show me where I need to go back to the campsite. I found a rock in the ditch that was flatter than most rocks in the area. I walked up about 15 paces from the road and placed it laying against the truck of a tree. I went back to the gravel road and followed the tire tracks.

I'm looking at my watch and knowing I have at least a two hour walk through the woods back to camp and its already 1:30pm. As soon as I walk around the bend in the road, I hear a noise up ahead of me. I cautiously look around the corner and see the car being pushed by two rednecks. My fight or flight kicks in and I grab the first available weapon I see. It happened to be an old whiskey bottle. I jump down in the ditch into the small dried up creek bed. I yelled and made a racket. I could hear the two rednecks approaching my location. I listened and waited...

The two ran past me before I could do anything. I then snuck up to the road and ran to the car. Everything was still there. I put the keys into the ignition..still wouldnt start. I then broke the keys off into the ignition, grabbed what we needed out of the car and then took the road flares out of the trunk. I could hear footsteps moving fast towards me. I left the car and ran down the ravine. The two rednecks then ran past the car and down the road.

So now its around 2:30pm and I get back to the rock that I had laid up next to the tree. I followed the path back to the camp and told my friends about the car and the two rednecks and how I escaped certain death. We argued about the safest thing to do and we all agreed we should stay where we are for the night and have two people watching the camp for three hour shifts.

Everything was going fine, as well as it could be given the situation. I pulled second duty at 1:00am. I remember sittting there thinking this night is so damn quiet. Theres no mosquitos, only darkness and a billion stars. Theres no wind, and the occsional snap or crackle from the fire. I'm feeling myself start to fall asleep and I hear a loud thud to the left of me. I look to my friend and her eyes are as big as saucers and she is looking over my shoulder pointing. Great...I peek around the corner and come face to face with some guy and a shotgun. He aims the gun at me and pulls the trigger...all I hear is the click.

Dartgod
06-18-2007, 11:57 AM
And...

Redrum_69
06-18-2007, 12:52 PM
And...


I'd rather not tell the rest

bogie
06-18-2007, 12:54 PM
I'd rather not tell the rest

fade to black and credits start rolling.

Redrum_69
06-18-2007, 01:17 PM
fade to black and credits start rolling.


The shotgun misfires. My friend screams bloody murder. I dont remember doing what my friends said I did. I went into a blind rage and tackled the guy. My other two friends had woken up and were screaming for help as this guy and I roll down the small hill. The gun was then in the possession of my friends who were calling me back to the campfire. Meanwhile I am wailing on this guy when he calls me by my name. Wait a fugging minute, that voice sounds familiar.

Come to find out it was all a set up. The two rednecks who supposedly broke into the car...only spread glass out to make it look like that. They actually rolled down both windows.

The two hour walk back and forth guaranteed enough time to get the car moving down the road and for my this guy to follow me back close to camp and wait for the perfect time.

The shotgun was a fake.

But I got the last laugh because I had broken the keys off in the ignition.

bogie
06-18-2007, 01:23 PM
The shotgun misfires. My friend screams bloody murder. I dont remember doing what my friends said I did. I went into a blind rage and tackled the guy. My other two friends had woken up and were screaming for help as this guy and I roll down the small hill. The gun was then in the possession of my friends who were calling me back to the campfire. Meanwhile I am wailing on this guy when he calls me by my name. Wait a fugging minute, that voice sounds familiar.

Come to find out it was all a set up. The two rednecks who supposedly broke into the car...only spread glass out to make it look like that. They actually rolled down both windows.

The two hour walk back and forth guaranteed enough time to get the car moving down the road and for my this guy to follow me back close to camp and wait for the perfect time.

The shotgun was a fake.

But I got the last laugh because I had broken the keys off in the ignition.

I don't buy this story. However, if it is true and someone had a gun pointed at me and pulled the trigger, there would be all kinds of hell to pay.