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FAX
06-18-2007, 01:13 PM
In the greatest tradition of Mr. Rain Man, Mr. Wizard, and Mr. Poopiepants, I proudly present this new, wonderful, and exciting poll for the benefit of Planeteers everywhere.

The proposition is simple. On the one hand, farts are smelly. However, on the other hand, the release of gas is beneficial to the digestion. Still, on yet another hand in the middle of the little bitty mutant that came out of the big mutant's belly just before Arnold made air on Mars, a fart releases methane into the atmosphere which could well be causing global warming and the eventual death of us all.

Thank you in advance for your participation as we nail down this issue once and for all.

EDIT: Oops!!! Meant to make this a poll.

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry.

Iowanian
06-18-2007, 01:14 PM
Fartowanians are great. Anyone else's flatulance is bad.

Redrum_69
06-18-2007, 01:14 PM
Fartowanians are great. Anyone else's flatulance is bad.


OMG IOWA IS BACK...alert the press

Reerun_KC
06-18-2007, 01:20 PM
:hail: Iowanian

FAX
06-18-2007, 01:23 PM
Brown Alert! Brown Alert!

While everyone's attention is focused on the return of Mr. Iowanian, can a mod please make this into a poll for me?

FAX

FAX
06-18-2007, 01:27 PM
Damn it all to friggin' hell and back at the wet t-shirt contest in the mastectomy ward!

Can I get the assistance of one mod here, please?

FAX

FAX
06-18-2007, 01:32 PM
Oh, well. It looks like this is going to be an essay question.

FAX

Pestilence
06-18-2007, 01:35 PM
Farts are good if they are your own brand.

Rooster
06-18-2007, 01:37 PM
Farts for the most part are good. A fart can bring a smile to anybodies face from the elderly to children.

But dog farts when you are trying to watch tv is bad. I think my boxer farts on me on purpose.

InChiefsHell
06-18-2007, 01:39 PM
Farts can be very good...unless they are very bad...then they can be very very bad indeed.

...drummer for my band is a great example. Daaaaamn...

Scaga
06-18-2007, 01:43 PM
This question can be answered with another question...
Where did the fart come from?

StcChief
06-18-2007, 01:46 PM
As the old saying goes..... He who smelt it Delt it.

Adept Havelock
06-18-2007, 01:50 PM
While they smell foul, Farts are good. Without them we would explode. :shrug:

blueballs
06-18-2007, 02:03 PM
on a windy day
they're just right

afchiefs
06-18-2007, 02:04 PM
Farts in the waders are best :p

FAX
06-18-2007, 02:10 PM
This question can be answered with another question...
Where did the fart come from?

I can see you are an analytical sort of person, Mr. Scaga. I respect that.

To your point, no one really knows. Some believe that, when God Almighty created the universe and we mortals in his image, we were given the ability to fart. Others believe that, as a result of the fall of man, Satan himself introduced the fart as a way to keep us from loving our fellow humans to our fullest potential. Still others say that the fart is a blessing bestowed upon us by angelic beings whose wings are lifted with each butt puff.

I don't know the answer, so I'll have to pass.

FAX

morphius
06-18-2007, 02:21 PM
I would love to help, but all we can do is edit a poll, we can't add a poll where there wasn't one before.

chasedude
06-18-2007, 02:27 PM
A Fart is better than a Shart.. trust me :thumb:

Iowanian
06-18-2007, 02:27 PM
They make for a pretty light when directed o'er an open flame.

FAX
06-18-2007, 02:30 PM
I would love to help, but all we can do is edit a poll, we can't add a poll where there wasn't one before.

No problem, Mr. morphius. Thanks for the information, though. It was all my fault, anyway. I pumped out the thread prematurely.

FAX

morphius
06-18-2007, 02:32 PM
No problem, Mr. morphius. Thanks for the information, though. It was all my fault, anyway. I pumped out the thread prematurely.

FAX
It is a common issue among those who don't use poll's often enough, the advantage is that you could always go in for seconds.

bogie
06-18-2007, 02:35 PM
I'm not so sure farts are good. Fart sounds however, comedy gold.

Ebolapox
06-18-2007, 02:49 PM
if they're bad, I'm satan.

The Rick
06-18-2007, 03:06 PM
Let's consult Wikipedia:

Health effects

As a normal body function, the action of flatulence is an important signal of normal bowel activity and hence is often documented by nursing staff following surgical or other treatment of patients. However, symptoms of excessive flatulence can indicate the presence of irritable bowel syndrome or some other organic disease. In particular, the sudden occurrence of excessive flatulence together with the onset of new symptoms provide reason for seeking further medical examination.

Flatulence is not poisonous; it is a natural component of various intestinal contents. However, discomfort may develop from the build-up of gas pressure. In theory, pathological distension of the bowel, leading to constipation, could result if a person holds in flatus.

Not all flatus is released from the body via the anus. When the partial pressure of any gas component of the intestinal lumen is higher than its partial pressure in the blood, that component enters into the bloodstream of the intestinal wall by the process of diffusion. As the blood passes through the lungs this gas can diffuse back out of the blood and be exhaled. If a person holds in flatus during daytime, it will often be released during sleep when the body is relaxed. Some flatus can become trapped within the feces during its compaction and will exit the body, still contained within the fecal matter, during the process of defecation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulence#Health_effects

The Rick
06-18-2007, 03:11 PM
Also, how can something be bad if you can make a career out of it?

Flatulist
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Professional farter)

A flatulist, fartist, or professional farter is a performer who receives payment for farting in an amusing and/or musical manner.[1]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_farter

Baby Lee
06-18-2007, 04:08 PM
As the old saying goes..... He who smelt it Delt it.
Endelt? He's the one responsible?

StcChief
06-18-2007, 05:13 PM
Endelt? He's the one responsible?ROFL.

Dealt it....

Zebedee DuBois
06-18-2007, 05:53 PM
As heard on a Redd Foxx tape, sometime in 1976:

What's the difference between a pun and a fart?

A pun is a shift of wit.

The Red Sea
06-18-2007, 06:00 PM
When 69 meets Farts its bad!

When you Fart while taking a bath or in a pool its Fun!

When your alone in bed & you wave the sheets just to smell your own Sh!t its wellll primal & odd Yet We ALL do it!

Like scratchin ur aRse & taking a quick smell its only human...though I dont do it! =P

PatPatriot
06-18-2007, 06:00 PM
A toot now and then is good for the best of men.....

Don King (as told to Howard Stern) after Stern put a hidden camera in the green room and sent in an expert in the art of farting in to befuddle him...

greg63
06-18-2007, 06:49 PM
Are Farts Good or Bad?

They are what they are.

Easy 6
06-18-2007, 07:27 PM
Nothing says..."Honey, I love you", like a Dutch oven.

Hydrae
06-18-2007, 07:41 PM
Also, how can something be bad if you can make a career out of it?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_farter


I guess you have never heard of this guy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane

listopencil
06-18-2007, 08:50 PM
Some flatus can become trapped within the feces during its compaction and will exit the body, still contained within the fecal matter, during the process of defecation.

Explosive shit. Not good.

Bill Parcells
06-18-2007, 08:59 PM
Always eat a fist full of raisins and a hard boiled egg before flying if you want to suffocate nearby passengers. after the pressurization of the cabin pressurizes your intestines, a volcanic, silent but deadly repercussion shall occur.

Mosbonian
06-18-2007, 09:11 PM
Bill Engvall said it best:

Never, ever mix broke food.....Spam with macaroni and cheese. When that combination hits your stomach the indigestion that hits you makes a taco fart smell like a warm summer breeze.

mmaddog
*******

Mosbonian
06-18-2007, 09:16 PM
No problem, Mr. morphius. Thanks for the information, though. It was all my fault, anyway. I pumped out the thread prematurely.

FAX

Pollrectile dysfunction......they have drugs for that these days.

mmaddog
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