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Logical
06-25-2007, 12:50 PM
According to this story maybe you should.
Russell walked past the front door for the fifth time, and kept on walking. For some reason, he couldn't force himself to go in. Something wasn't right, as if he was somehow walking into some life-altering situation. He had a brief moment of doubt, and it sent his mind back twenty years. For some strange reason he found himself thinking about the day he got married. He spoke aloud, to no one in particular. "What the hell is wrong with me?" It was as he was talking to himself (or so he thought), that a voice, seemingly out of nowhere, answered him.

"Russell?"
'Who is that?"
"Russell, nothing is wrong with you."
"Who is that? Show your face." Russell peered into the darkness.
"I'm not out there, I'm in here."
"What, what do you mean, in here?"
"It's me, God. Remember me?"
"Yeah, right. Who is this really? Show yourself."

Suddenly, Russell felt something deep inside him stirring, something he had tried to ignore for years, just as he had kept so many emotions hidden inside for what seemed like forever.
"God? Is that really you?"
"Yes, Russell, it's me. It's been awhile since we talked. I missed you."
"And I you. What is wrong with me, God, why can't I pass through this door? I've been inside there a hundred times, why is this time any different?"
"Russell, there's something I need to tell you before you go in there. I know it's against the rules, but I like you. I'm going to give you a chance to prepare yourself. Russell, there's a girl waiting for you in there."
"A girl? What do you mean, 'there's a girl waiting for me in there'?"

"Remember how twenty years ago, you had that brief moment of doubt just before you got married, that split-second where you weren't sure if the person that you were marrying was your soulmate?"
"Yes, I - I do."
"Well, guess what? That was me talking to you, and you should have listened. That little voice was right, the girl you married isn't your soulmate."
"What? What the hell are you talking about? I should have listened? What do you mean, I should have listened? It's not like you jumped up and down, or manifested some kind of burning bush or apparition to let me know it was you. It was a little voice in the back of my head, I just ignored it."
"Yelling isn't really my style, ever since the Old Testament, I figured you people had been around long enough to take a hint. Apparently, I was wrong."
"Wrong? You're trying to tell me that I spent over half my life with the wrong person, and now that I can't back out without ruining my life and a couple of dozen others in the process, you're setting me up on a blind date?"
"She's not a blind date, she's your soulmate."
"If she's my soulmate, then who's the woman I've been sleeping with for the past twenty years?"
"That's your wife, and by the way, you've been sleeping with her for twenty-two years, you've been married for twenty years, but we'll discuss that little sin when the time comes. And I didn't say that you spent half your life with the wrong person, I said that she wasn't your soulmate."


So is God going to tell you, you married the wrong woman?

Adept Havelock
06-25-2007, 01:07 PM
I don't, but the old lady does on occassion...especially when properly...ahem...motivated.

stevieray
06-25-2007, 01:23 PM
on a daily basis...and it's not always pleasant.

Saulbadguy
06-25-2007, 01:51 PM
What a dumb story.

Taco John
06-25-2007, 02:57 PM
Funny thing... There's a movie coming out about this:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/conversationswithgod/trailer/

Chief Henry
06-25-2007, 03:12 PM
I talk/pray to God daily, several times as a mater of fact.

penchief
06-25-2007, 03:14 PM
I'm constantly pleading, "please God, make it stop."

Count Alex's Losses
06-25-2007, 03:22 PM
I think anyone who claims they "talk to god" is delusional.

Count Alex's Losses
06-25-2007, 03:30 PM
You wanna talk to god...let's go see him together. I've got nothing better to do!

http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/7879/indywj0.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

Spott
06-25-2007, 03:54 PM
I talk to him a lot. I just talked to him the other day and he still hates the Chiefs.

BucEyedPea
06-25-2007, 04:03 PM
No. But when I get scared or feel threatened I plead "Oh dear God!"I hear that's not in vain, so it must be a prayer and talking to God.

ClevelandBronco
06-25-2007, 04:47 PM
I remember hearing this somewhere...

At a prayer breakfast, President Clinton reported that an interviewer once asked Mother Teresa, "When you pray to God, what do you say to Him?" She replied, "I don't say anything. I listen." The interviewer persisted, "Well, what does God say to you?" She answered: "He doesn't say anything. He listens."

I always kind of liked that.

Logical
06-25-2007, 05:24 PM
I remember hearing this somewhere...

At a prayer breakfast, President Clinton reported that an interviewer once asked Mother Teresa, "When you pray to God, what do you say to Him?" She replied, "I don't say anything. I listen." The interviewer persisted, "Well, what does God say to you?" She answered: "He doesn't say anything. He listens."

I always kind of liked that.That is sort of the mobius loop of thought.:p

PunkinDrublic
06-25-2007, 05:38 PM
It used to be they locked people up for having imaginary freinds past the age of 5.

Ebolapox
06-25-2007, 05:39 PM
I try to talk to him all the time, cheap bastard won't get call-waiting.

mlyonsd
06-25-2007, 06:44 PM
So is God going to tell you, you married the wrong woman?

Good God man, you're going to get somebody killed asking questions like that.:)

Jenson71
06-25-2007, 06:53 PM
I'm constantly pleading, "please God, make it stop."

I think we all plead that when Logical posts. :p

Logical
06-25-2007, 08:18 PM
I think we all plead that when Logical posts. :p

nlm

Taco John
06-25-2007, 08:54 PM
I remember hearing this somewhere...

At a prayer breakfast, President Clinton reported that an interviewer once asked Mother Teresa, "When you pray to God, what do you say to Him?" She replied, "I don't say anything. I listen." The interviewer persisted, "Well, what does God say to you?" She answered: "He doesn't say anything. He listens."

I always kind of liked that.


That's about perfect.

|Zach|
06-25-2007, 08:58 PM
I think anyone who claims they "talk to god" is delusional.
Not so, that is people who disagree with patteu.

patteeu
06-25-2007, 08:59 PM
Not so, that is people who disagree with patteu.

This is often the case, although I feel I must point out to you that there might be delusional people outside of those who disagree with me as well. :thumb:

Fishpicker
06-25-2007, 10:14 PM
God doesnt talk to me but, I do spend time listening.

* I read the last few posts and, as it turns out, I've ripped off mother Theresa and B.C.... I'm goin straight to hell.

Saggysack
06-26-2007, 05:54 AM
I think anyone who claims they "talk to god" is delusional.

I'll disagree.

I'll say that anyone who claims god talks to them is delusional.

Amnorix
06-26-2007, 07:37 AM
I spoke with him a few months ago. He was still wearing a Patriots hat, but he still had some 'splainin' to do about that Colts game.... Said he was sorry, but he can only go so far -- I mean, who the heck is Eric Alexander, and why was he starting at Middle Linebacker. And who in the universe were we playing at the safety spots? He threw his hands up in disgust.

I forgave him. He said he had something in the works involving a 6'4" veteran pro bowl WR we could get cheap. I told him to keep an eye on the Jests as they were becoming dangerous. He said they were Satan's own, and that he was working it, but that he's a devious little devil.

That's about it.

Radar Chief
06-26-2007, 08:26 AM
It used to be they locked people up for having imaginary freinds past the age of 5.

I always thought it was fine to talk to God, its when you start getting responses that you should worry. Even then, it’s not necessarily a problem until he takes the form of your neighbor’s dog and tells you to kill.

Cochise
06-26-2007, 09:08 AM
He told me that Logical threads make his infant son cry.

ROYC75
06-26-2007, 10:25 AM
I think anyone who claims they "talk to god" is delusional.


Satin ? Still at work , heh..........

Logical
06-26-2007, 12:01 PM
He told me that Logical threads make his infant son cry.

I thought you would be happy since this is not in the main forum.

Jilly
06-26-2007, 03:06 PM
Seems to me Morgan Freeman has a lot on his plate these days...