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View Full Version : Describe your bad amusement park ride ideas here.


Rain Man
07-03-2007, 05:53 PM
Go for it. Tasteless, putrid, engineeringly unsound, you make the call. Give me your ideas for rides for a new Litigationland.

I'll start with a few.



Blood on the Highway. Riders climb into bumper cars that hold 200-horsepower engines. Better fasten that shoulder strap!

The Tilt-A-Hooker. Climb aboard, and hang on for two minutes as the hooker beneath you is told that you don't have any money.

House of Broken Mirrors. Enter into this magical realm of glass shards and reflections. Can you find your way out? Is that your left arm or your right arm that's gushing blood?

Frazod
07-03-2007, 05:55 PM
The Rosie O'Donnell Tunnel Of Love.



:spock:

Rain Man
07-03-2007, 05:57 PM
It's a Smell World. Ride a boat through the sewer systems of the world.

Ebolapox
07-03-2007, 05:58 PM
a ride in which every female under the age of sixteen loses their feet.

siberian khatru
07-03-2007, 06:01 PM
Virtual Baghdad

Screaming Memes -- Climb aboard and be forced to listen to Denise expound on terrorism and the patriarchy.

Caligula's Revenge

Frazod
07-03-2007, 06:03 PM
It's a Smell World. Ride a boat through the sewer systems of the world.

I believe I covered this in the first post. :)

Donger
07-03-2007, 06:04 PM
The Agony of Defeet.

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:07 PM
Six Flogs

You pay $20.00 and they beat the shit out of you.

FAX

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:09 PM
Kcnut's Berry Farm

Bring your own basket and spend the entire day trying to understand the directions to the berries.

FAX

Bacon Cheeseburger
07-03-2007, 06:10 PM
"Jihad Jalopys", a car ride where all vehicles crash into a building and explode.

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:11 PM
The Phlem Zoom.

Take a thrilling plunge into hippo snot. Must be at least 4'2'' to enter.

FAX

Frazod
07-03-2007, 06:13 PM
Pakistani Cab Driver's Bronx Adventure

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:14 PM
The Tilt-A-Girl.

Your special friend will have the time of her life being held upside down for five minutes by two strange guys.

FAX

Bacon Cheeseburger
07-03-2007, 06:17 PM
The Michael Jackson Merry-go-round.

Needs no explanation.

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:18 PM
The Phallis Wheel.

Take a deep breath!! You're in for the ride of your life!

FAX

luv
07-03-2007, 06:21 PM
If it doesn't make the average person hurl, it sucks.

Bacon Cheeseburger
07-03-2007, 06:23 PM
The Hyatt Skywalk of Doom.

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:23 PM
Schlepcot.

Take the entire family on an adventure this summer and clean the toilets in our magic restrooms.

FAX

Deberg_1990
07-03-2007, 06:27 PM
Chris Benoit's "ROID RAGE"

A ride for the whole family!

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:32 PM
Miniature Goof.

Slap around a retarded midget for 18 holes.

FAX

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:35 PM
Bust Mother Goose's Eggs.

Take an exhilarating trip up Mother Goose's vagina and whack away!!

FAX

Rain Man
07-03-2007, 06:37 PM
Carib-urine Adventure. It's kind of like a water ride, but stickier!

Rain Man
07-03-2007, 06:38 PM
Pryo-ates of the Caribbean. You may think the pirates are the biggest danger, but wait till they set your boat on fire.

Rain Man
07-03-2007, 06:40 PM
Snakes on a Roller Coaster - Based on the movie with a similar theme.

Brock
07-03-2007, 06:42 PM
The Canadian Crippler. You get a bible at the end.

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:42 PM
Glow Carts.

Participants can hone their driving skills as they travel around a quarter-mile track on fire.

FAX

Rain Man
07-03-2007, 06:43 PM
Disney's D-cup ride. Instead of riding in a teacup that whirls, you ride in Pamela Anderson's bikini top.

Rain Man
07-03-2007, 06:45 PM
Pol Pot's House of Horrors. Not recommended for anyone who is intellectual or wears glasses.

Brock
07-03-2007, 06:46 PM
Muled Across The Border.

tk13
07-03-2007, 06:46 PM
Roller Colonoscopy - Men over 40, get those pesky annual checkups out of the way during a 200 foot drop with speeds exceeding 80 mph! It's a roller coaster and doctor's appointment rolled into one!

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:47 PM
Sorryland.

We really piss you off, but we apologize afterwards.

FAX

Brock
07-03-2007, 06:47 PM
Dr. Jellyfinger's Funhouse.

Rain Man
07-03-2007, 06:49 PM
The Clothes Hanger. Not recommended for pregnant women or people with heart problems, though truthfully heart problems isn't that much of an issue.

OnTheWarpath58
07-03-2007, 06:51 PM
Magic Mount-in.

Get strapped down and anally violated by Richard Simmons or GoChiefs.

Your choice.

siberian khatru
07-03-2007, 06:51 PM
Chris Benoit's "ROID RAGE"

A ride for the whole family!

IT WASN'T STEROIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FAX
07-03-2007, 06:56 PM
Hall Of Residents.

Marvel at how animatronic magic brings you up close and personal to bunch of octogenarians in a rest home.

FAX

Rain Man
07-03-2007, 09:25 PM
Frontiereland. Live inside the amazing rustic world of the owner of the St. Louis Rams.

FAX
07-03-2007, 09:29 PM
C World.

Just average, but we don't cost a lot either.

FAX

FAX
07-03-2007, 09:34 PM
Pie Rats Of The Carribean.

A virtual ride into the past commemorating the difficulties faced by early settlers with large, pastry eating rodents.

FAX

Rain Man
07-03-2007, 09:44 PM
Cinderella's assel.


(Say it fast.)

FAX
07-03-2007, 09:51 PM
Cinderella's assel.


(Say it fast.)

ROFL

Dang, Mr. Rain Man.

Fantasygland.

Standing at over 180 feet tall, your family will be amazed by this graceful phallic spire.

FAX

luv
07-03-2007, 09:53 PM
Disney's D-cup ride. Instead of riding in a teacup that whirls, you ride in Pamela Anderson's bikini top.
I would think she's bigger than a D cup. Or is that what she went back down to?

FAX
07-03-2007, 10:01 PM
Typhoon La' Goon.

After a long day in the park, take some time to relax and enjoy watching as a French retard is drowned in a pool.

FAX

Brock
07-03-2007, 10:32 PM
Pace Mountain.

RJ
07-03-2007, 10:45 PM
Leper Island.

Travel by monorail to a land of isolation and missing digits. Get a firsthand look at weeping, oozing sores and unsanitary conditions. Dare to lie in the beds and drink from the glasses of the lepers themselves!

$19.95 per peson includes complimentary lunch buffet.

Bacon Cheeseburger
07-03-2007, 10:53 PM
The Mount Holly Piranha wading pool.

Bacon Cheeseburger
07-03-2007, 10:54 PM
The Denver Bronco Cut Block Simulator.

Sam Hall
07-03-2007, 10:57 PM
John Madden's Brett Favre

Spin around and around in the air while listening to Madden talk talk about how Favre could throw the ball 100 yards underwater.

Brock
07-03-2007, 10:59 PM
Parasites of the Caribbean.

bringbackmarty
07-04-2007, 10:53 PM
And be sure to stop by the south kansas city ghetto fourth of july parade now with real guns instead of fireworks, after you get shot viewing the parade you can either go to the e.r. of slow and painful death imax theatre or save some trouble and some coin and visit the magical police crime lab freezer cave. Then the self embalming station will fix you up for the magic ghetto hearse ride featuring four wheel motion and a 4,000,000 watt sound system powering two 15 foot wide subs.

big nasty kcnut
07-05-2007, 03:33 AM
Comic book nerds house of horror try to get out without a comic book nerd nearly strangle you to prove stan lee was better then jack kirby.




p.s. jack kirby is the master.

TinyEvel
07-05-2007, 05:56 PM
Journey to your Inner Space. (while you wait in ridegoers are shrunken down and put up your colon) When it's your turn, you go into some one twenty places behind you.

TinyEvel
07-05-2007, 05:59 PM
Or, how about "The Line" You wait out in the hot sun for two hours in a long line that snakes through a huge section of the park like a large intestine, past TV monitors which are inoperable. Once you make it into the building where the ride is, you turn a corner to see that the line snakes another quarter-mile inside the building like a small intestine or Top Ramen out of the pack. You finally go through a door and you are out of the building and a sign says "exit this way" where you are pressured inot buying a digital picture of yourself, waiting in line. In the background of the pic are the teenagers behind you, flipping the bird and giving the "shout at the devil" symbol to the camera.

Simplex3
07-05-2007, 06:14 PM
I don't have a name for it, but an inverted open-air coaster that goes underwater.