View Full Version : Eskimo Concerns

07-05-2007, 11:15 AM
Gentlemen, I'm worried for our chilly friends to the North.

They eat blubber, they use blubber for light, heat, surfboard wax, wallpaper paste, and personal lubricant. It's an entire culture built on blubber. In other words, as the blubber goes, so goes the Eskimo.

The problem is that there is a huge and growing blubber shortage because harvesting whale blubber is frowned upon in this day and age. As I understand it, the government allows the Eskimos to kill a certain number of whales each year, but that doesn't provide sufficient blubber for their needs.

On top of that, Eskimos lack the scientific skills to develop synthetic blubber or some other form of alternative blubber. I figure that's probably because you can't make a test tube out of blubber, which only compounds the problem and leaves their civilization in great peril. So far as I know, there has been no international blubber conversion effort whatsoever.

We have a crisis on our hands, people. And, its name is blubber.


Fire Me Boy!
07-05-2007, 11:19 AM
Roseanne Barr is a blubber donor. Kill her.

07-05-2007, 11:22 AM
I dont know what I been told......

Eskimo p**** is mighty cold

07-05-2007, 11:23 AM
The Tyler Durden soap conglomerate recommends liposuction clinics for all your blubber needs

Discuss Thrower
07-05-2007, 11:23 AM
:cuss: Big Blubber!

Hog's Gone Fishin
07-05-2007, 11:25 AM
Damn, I wasn't prepared for this either. Must stock up on blubber now.

07-05-2007, 11:53 AM
They make great pies.

Fat Elvis
07-05-2007, 12:07 PM
If Professor Philip Brainard were an eskimo, he could solve their problem.

No, wait, he invented Flubber.