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Coach
09-10-2007, 05:34 PM
Borrowed this from a different poster at a different board.

Associated Press
September 10, 2007


KANSAS CITY, Sept. 10 – Herman “Herm” Edwards, coach of the NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs, was reportedly stunned to learn that 11 of the 28 teams that played this past weekend (including Thursday night’s contest between the Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints) scored a lot of points. “I was honestly surprised that the number was that high,” he commented. Even more shocking, six of those 11 teams did more than score a lot of points – they put up Arena League scores.

For those unfamiliar with Arena Football, it is a sport not unlike football, but with a few key differences. It is played indoors on a field half the size of an NFL field. Players often play both an offensive and defensive position (commonly referred to as two-way players or “iron man” football). Most notable, however, are the high scores in most contests; often at least one of the two teams will score 30 or more points in a single game. This, according to Edwards, is the by-product of inferior athleticism. “They’re just not good enough to run the ball. They have to rely on the passing game. That’s why they’re not in the NFL.” Sometimes they even defer to what “Herm” refers to as “the deep ball” – that is, a pass of 10 yards or longer. “It’s unfortunate that they feel they have to resort to such extreme measures,” he said, noting also that it makes opposing defensive backs “look silly.”

“How is it fair to put a defensive back in that situation?” Edwards, a former defensive back himself, asked rhetorically. “That’s not rhetorical either. I’d really like to know how that’s fair.”

But that kind of play in the NFL? “It’s irresponsible – that’s what it is,” he commented. “You don’t see my teams doing that. It’s classless, and that’s not the type of organization I run.”

Herm has done his best to ensure that his teams don’t play like that, going as far as to cut players and assistant coaches that don’t prescribe to his philosophy. Prolific passer Trent Green was traded for a low round draft pick during the offseason, and Edwards sent quarterbacks coach Terry Shea with him. Before the 2006 season, Edwards also sent offensive coordinator Al Saunders packing. “These guys run up the score, and I’m not having it,” Edwards explains. More recently, Herm also parted ways with backup QB and prolific CFL player Casey Printers, along with promising young receivers Chris Hannon and Bobby Sippio, relying instead on the virtual unknown backup QB Tyler Thigpen and the hard-handed receiver Samie Parker.

Herm was even further shocked to learn that, of those 11 teams, nine of them won their contests, including five of the six that scored Arena League points. “That’s a lot. I really don’t know what else to say.”

When asked about his own team’s performance against the perrenial underdog Houston Texans, Herm had this to say: “I felt we played a good contest. Certainly good enough to win. Had we shut them out or even held them to a safety, there’s no forseeable reason why we wouldn’t have won,” he said of the 3-20 loss. Asked about his own defense’s responsibility in giving up those 20 points, his reply was simple: “sometimes you rely on the other team to play classy, and that didn’t happen here today.”

But there is hope, according to Edwards. He’s quick to point out that the remaining 17 teams “played the game how it’s supposed to be played,” and he’s encouraged by this. Only five of them won their contests, but they’re all winners in Herm’s eyes. He’s also proud that his former team, the New York Jets, have maintained some semblance of the culture of low scoring he established during his five-year tenure as their head coach. “They scored 14. I was proud of them.”

The Jets lost, 38-14, to perennial SuperBowl favorites the New England Patriots. But, as Herm reminds us, “On any given sunday, you either win or lose, but can you win or lose like a man? I just made that up. Seriously, I did. Just now. I should write that down or something.”

the Talking Can
09-10-2007, 05:38 PM
nice

KC Jones
09-10-2007, 05:38 PM
ROFL ... :deevee:

beach tribe
09-10-2007, 05:40 PM
Holy
shit.

ChiefaRoo
09-10-2007, 05:43 PM
heh.

Woodrow Call
09-10-2007, 05:46 PM
LMAO

unothadeal
09-10-2007, 05:47 PM
:spock:

Fairplay
09-10-2007, 05:51 PM
:grr:

Tribal Warfare
09-10-2007, 06:36 PM
Coach, provide the link

KCChiefsMan
09-10-2007, 06:55 PM
it makes me angry and laugh at the same time

Halfcan
09-10-2007, 07:08 PM
Herm is such a joke.

chop
09-10-2007, 07:22 PM
Coach, provide the link

I'm writing this slowly so that you can understand, coach wrote this, not the AP. :p

BigMeatballDave
09-10-2007, 07:22 PM
What a fuggin idiot.

BigMeatballDave
09-10-2007, 07:24 PM
Funny

jidar
09-10-2007, 07:31 PM
hahahahah

NewChief
09-10-2007, 08:13 PM
ROFL

dirk digler
09-10-2007, 08:17 PM
LMAO

Good one coach

cutter
09-10-2007, 09:18 PM
ROFL

That's some good satire - it is satire - right?