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View Full Version : A little cheese with that whine?


redbrian
09-23-2007, 04:40 PM
Chiefs lose the planet whines, Chiefs win the planet whines (I have not seen this much whining since my kids were in pre-school).

Customer: I want to buy some cheese.

Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!

Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Owner: Sorry?

Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!

Owner: So he can go on playing, can he?

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?

Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.

Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.

Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

Owner: Sorry, sir.

Customer: Red Windsor?

Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

Customer: Ah. Stilton?

Owner: Sorry.

Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?

Owner: No.

Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.

Owner: No.

Saulbadguy
09-23-2007, 04:42 PM
Czech Sheeps Milk?

Wilson
09-23-2007, 04:46 PM
You realize that your whining about whining don't you?

redbrian
09-23-2007, 04:46 PM
Customer: Lipta?

Owner: No.

Customer: Lancashire?

Owner: No.

Customer: White Stilton?

Owner: No.

Customer: Danish Brew?

Owner: No.

Customer: Double Goucester?

Owner: (pause) No.

Customer: Cheshire?

Owner: No.

Customer: Dorset Bluveny?

Owner: No.

Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?

Owner: No.

Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?

Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.

Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.

Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...

Customer: Oh, I like it runny.

Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.

Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

Customer: I don't care how ****ing runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

Owner: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)

Customer: What now?

Owner: The cat's eaten it.

Customer: (pause) Has he.

Owner: She, sir.

BCD
09-23-2007, 04:47 PM
You must be a Carl 'yes-man'.

headsnap
09-23-2007, 04:47 PM
You realize that your whining about whining don't you?
he is celebrating it!

redbrian
09-23-2007, 04:47 PM
You realize that your whining about whining don't you?

No I'm not, I'm offering a little cheese to go with that whine :p

Mecca
09-23-2007, 04:48 PM
I think it really is Carl...

redbrian
09-23-2007, 04:53 PM
I think it really is Carl...

Hell if I was Carl I sure wouldnít be wasting my time with you losers, Iíd be chomping down a nice steak with a good bottle of wine.

And of course having a little cheeseÖ..

Customer: (pause) Gouda?

Owner: No.

Customer: Edam?

Owner: No.

Customer: Case Ness?

Owner: No.

Customer: Smoked Austrian?

Owner: No.

Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?

Owner: No, sir.

Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?

Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--

Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

Owner: Fair enough.

Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.

Owner: Yes?

Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!

Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.

Customer: (pause) Greek Feta?

Owner: Uh, not as such.

mikey23545
09-23-2007, 05:00 PM
These guys are too busy cutting themselves to enjoy your humor, redbrian....

BCD
09-23-2007, 05:01 PM
These guys are too busy cutting themselves to enjoy your humor, redbrian....LMAO Ok, now THATS humor...

redbrian
09-23-2007, 05:04 PM
These guys are too busy cutting themselves to enjoy your humor, redbrian....

I guess these kids just donít have any appreciation for the classics.

Extra Point
09-23-2007, 05:45 PM
I guess these kids just donít have any appreciation for the classics.

Here's a classic for you: 65 Toss Power Trap. STFU!