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Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:26 PM
Just walked out of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. I was able to endure about an hour and a half of it.

If you just mainlined a kilo of pure coke and need to come down off your high, this movie is for you.

If you just drank a gallon of espresso and are worried about your heart exploding, this movie is for you.

If you are an insomniac who doesn't respond well to prescription sleep aids, this movie is for you.

What a wretched, ponderous, tedious, awful, dull, vile piece of crap. AND IT GOT GOOD REVIEWS. Ebert can expect a rude e-mail from me later.

:cuss:

I'm from Missouri. The Civil War and post Civil War periods in Missouri fascinate me. I've stood in the spot where Jesse stood when Ford killed him. And I walked out of this movie.

I really liked Ride With The Devil, but thought it was a bit slow. This piece of crap is so slow that it makes Ride With The Devil look like Bourne Identity. Hell, Gods and Generals was interesting by comparison. Even the train robbery was boring. I think a good director and editor could have compressed the hour and a half I watched into about half an hour that would have been interesting.

And I talked my neighbor into going with me and the wife, so I paid admission X 3. $30 for this crap. F#CK!!! :#


Avoid at all costs. Learn from my mistake.

:cuss:

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 09:28 PM
Damn... that sucks. I had high hopes for this movie.

If it was too dull for you, I have no chance.

Count Zarth
10-05-2007, 09:29 PM
Gods and Generals was awful. Is this from the same morons?

Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:29 PM
Damn... that sucks. I had high hopes for this movie.

If it was too dull for you, I have no chance.

Rent The Long Riders. Trust me.

L.A. Chieffan
10-05-2007, 09:30 PM
How are the boat chase scenes?

Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:31 PM
Gods and Generals was awful. Is this from the same morons?

I don't think so.

And yes, Gods and Generals was awful, but I sat through all 800 hours of it in the theater (at least it felt like 800 hours).

AND THIS WAS WORSE. MUCH, MUCH WORSE.

Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:32 PM
How are the boat chase scenes?

I must have missed them when I lapsed into the coma.

Guru
10-05-2007, 09:32 PM
Even worse than Gettysburg?

Count Zarth
10-05-2007, 09:33 PM
I don't think so.

And yes, Gods and Generals was awful, but I sat through all 800 hours of it in the theater (at least it felt like 800 hours).

AND THIS WAS WORSE. MUCH, MUCH WORSE.

I was reviewing it for my old college rag. I ripped it good. :D

Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:34 PM
Even worse than Gettysburg?

Hey now. I loved Gettysburg. Don't rip on that one. :mad:

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 09:35 PM
You walked out-now you will never know how it ends.

Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:36 PM
You walked out-now you will never know how it ends.

ROFL

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 09:37 PM
Even worse than Gettysburg?

You mean Gettyfakebeards? The make up jobs were comical in that movie. It was like all the actors just lined up and picked out beards to wear. What a bore.

Easy 6
10-05-2007, 09:40 PM
Thanks for the warning, i had a feeling about this one...Pitt even looks bored in the publicity stills.

Count Zarth
10-05-2007, 09:41 PM
Sweet. I save EVERYTHING I write. Here's my review:


"Gods and Generals" is a movie that suffers from several downfalls, but none looms larger than the length. The movie is simply too long.

Director Ronald F. Maxwell's latest Civil War tribute (he also directed 1993's "Gettysburg") clocks in at three and a half hours. Maxwell could have made a much better movie by simply cutting a few extra scenes.

The film begins in a promising fashion with scenes that make you feel as if you are reading a high school history book. Like "Gettysburg," "Gods and Generals" is not short on historical accuracy.

Forty minutes pass before the first shot is fired, though, and even then the movie still manages to bore. Nearly every battle scene in this movie is dull and accompanied by horrible special effects. Even when a cannon explodes in front of Robert E. Lee (Robert Duvall) and Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson (Stephen Lang) the effect is minimal.

The movie attempts to follow the early Civil War stories of three officers - Lee, Jackson and Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain (Jeff Daniels). Maxwell makes a valiant effort at doing this, but eventually tosses Lee and Chamberlain aside and focuses on Jackson.

As an unfortunate result, Duvall and Daniels are woefully underused. Duvall's entire time on-screen is spent looking like an old man on a horse, and Daniels is simply out of place. This is the same actor that played "Harry" in "Dumb and Dumber."

The movie picks up toward the end with Jackson being accidentally shot by his own men and eventually dying of pneumonia. Lang steals the show as the best actor in this movie.

But by the time we get to his best scenes, half the audience is asleep. Just because a movie is based on a novel doesn't mean it has to be three or four hours long.

R.C. Wendler

Mr Luzcious
10-05-2007, 09:41 PM
You mean Gettyfakebeards? The make up jobs were comical in that movie. It was like all the actors just lined up and picked out beards to wear. What a bore.

I thought it was a pretty good movie, aside from that.

Deberg_1990
10-05-2007, 09:42 PM
Maybe they should have hired Michael Bay to speed it up a little??

Guru
10-05-2007, 09:44 PM
Hey now. I loved Gettysburg. Don't rip on that one. :mad:

Really? I hated it. It was three Generals and their big speechs. Bored me to death.

Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:45 PM
Really? I hated it. It was three Generals and their big speechs. Bored me to death.

Don't ever watch Gods and Generals, then. It might actually make your heart stop.

greg63
10-05-2007, 09:47 PM
Just walked out of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. I was able to endure about an hour and a half of it.

If you just mainlined a kilo of pure coke and need to come down off your high, this movie is for you.

If you just drank a gallon of espresso and are worried about your heart exploding, this movie is for you.

If you are an insomniac who doesn't respond well to prescription sleep aids, this movie is for you.

What a wretched, ponderous, tedious, awful, dull, vile piece of crap. AND IT GOT GOOD REVIEWS. Ebert can expect a rude e-mail from me later.

:cuss:

I'm from Missouri. The Civil War and post Civil War periods in Missouri fascinate me. I've stood in the spot where Jesse stood when Ford killed him. And I walked out of this movie.

I really liked Ride With The Devil, but thought it was a bit slow. This piece of crap is so slow that it makes Ride With The Devil look like Bourne Identity. Hell, Gods and Generals was interesting by comparison. Even the train robbery was boring. I think a good director and editor could have compressed the hour and a half I watched into about half an hour that would have been interesting.

And I talked my neighbor into going with me and the wife, so I paid admission X 3. $30 for this crap. F#CK!!! :#


Avoid at all costs. Learn from my mistake.

:cuss:

That in itself should have told you something. :)

Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:48 PM
That in itself should have told you something. :)

Normally I agree with him. :shrug:

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 09:50 PM
Normally I agree with him. :shrug:I do too.

Hell, he even liked "Devil's Rejects".

I like the fact that he can see a movie for what it's meant to be, and review it on that basis.

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 09:50 PM
Brad Pitt is the next Tom Cruise.

His career is over. Maybe he can do Ocean 15 next. This time they rob a grocery store and get hundreds of dollars in can goods.

siberian khatru
10-05-2007, 09:51 PM
I loved Gettysburg.

I wanted so much to like Gods and Generals. I was so disappointed with it -- except for Jackson's death scene at the end. I thought that was perfect.

I thought Stephen Lang did a great job. I really like him as an actor. If they had just made the movie about Stonewall and cut everything else, it would've been a good movie. But my God, the thing just went on and on and on and on and ...

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 09:54 PM
Brad Pitt is the next Tom Cruise.

His career is over. Maybe he can do Ocean 15 next. This time they rob a grocery store and get hundreds of dollars in can goods.I honestly really like Pitt as an actor.

I think he's just reached the point where it's hard to see his character. All you see is BRAD PITT.

He's over-exposed.

Nzoner
10-05-2007, 09:55 PM
Rent The Long Riders. Trust me.

Without a doubt and take it from someone who's lived in St Joe most of his life,it's the best most authentic movie ever made about the James Gang.

Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:55 PM
I loved Gettysburg.

I wanted so much to like Gods and Generals. I was so disappointed with it -- except for Jackson's death scene at the end. I thought that was perfect.

I thought Stephen Lang did a great job. I really like him as an actor. If they had just made the movie about Stonewall and cut everything else, it would've been a good movie. But my God, the thing just went on and on and on and on and ...

The droning, endless monologues (with accompanying violin music) were the biggest problem. Nobody had a conversation - the actors just took turns preaching at each other. Who the f#ck talks like that? Ridiculous.

And the book was excellent, too. I hate it when great books are turned into bad movies.

Especially by THE EXACT SAME PEOPLE who made Gettysburg, which was a great movie, IMO. :banghead:

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 09:56 PM
I honestly really like Pitt as an actor.

I think he's just reached the point where it's hard to see his character. All you see is BRAD PITT.

He's over-exposed.

Well maybe when he is done adopting a kid from Every 3rd world country- he will get back to making descent movies.

Frazod
10-05-2007, 09:57 PM
Pitt did a good job - the movie being bad wasn't his fault.

Mr Luzcious
10-05-2007, 09:57 PM
I honestly really like Pitt as an actor.

I think he's just reached the point where it's hard to see his character. All you see is BRAD PITT.

He's over-exposed.

I thought he was good in 12 monkeys and Fight Club.. but thats it, really.

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 09:57 PM
Without a doubt and take it from someone who's lived in St Joe most of his life,it's the best most authentic movie ever made about the James Gang.

top 10 Best Western movie. the slow motion scenes still hold up.

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 09:59 PM
Well maybe when he is done adopting a kid from Every 3rd world country- he will get back to making descent movies.That's what I'm talking about.

It's hard to buy into the character when the guy's on your TV every time you turn it on.

Nzoner
10-05-2007, 09:59 PM
I thought he was good in 12 monkeys and Fight Club.. but thats it, really.

Seven!!

"What's in the box?"

Frazod
10-05-2007, 10:00 PM
Without a doubt and take it from someone who's lived in St Joe most of his life,it's the best most authentic movie ever made about the James Gang.

David Carradine stole the show as Cole Younger. The knife fight between him and Sam Starr (James Remar) is the best knife fight in movie history, IMO.

I may pop that in later just to clear this other piece of crap out of my head.

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:01 PM
David Carradine stole the show as Cole Younger. The knife fight between him and Sam Starr (James Remar) is the best knife fight in movie history, IMO.

I may pop that in later just to clear this other piece of crap out of my head.I'm gonna have to get that one...

Don't know that I've ever seen the DVD. (Maybe I just never noticed it.) I'm not much of a renter...

Frazod
10-05-2007, 10:06 PM
I'm gonna have to get that one...

Don't know that I've ever seen the DVD. (Maybe I just never noticed it.) I'm not much of a renter...

It's a buyer, IMO. The movie came out in 1980. One of the neat things about it is that all the principal rolls were real life brother actors portraying real brother outlaws. James and Stacy Keach played the James Brothers, the Carradines played the Younger Brothers, the Quaids played Ed and Clell Miller, and the Guests played Bob and Charlie Ford. It was directed by Walter Hill. Ranks only beneath Unforgiven as my favorite western.

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:09 PM
It's a buyer, IMO. The movie came out in 1980. One of the neat things about it is that all the principal rolls were real life brother actors portraying real brother outlaws. James and Stacy Keach played the James Brothers, the Carradines played the Younger Brothers, the Quaids played Ed and Clell Miller, and the Guests played Bob and Charlie Ford. It was directed by Walter Hill. Ranks only beneath Unforgiven as my favorite western.I picked up Unforgiven two weeks ago on HD DVD.

I'd just bought the player that hooks up to my XBOX 360, and that was my western pick. (I'd never seen it.) I've watched it twice since then. Excellent movie.

As a bonus... The disc had the full episode of "Maverick" where Clint made his first TV appearance. Pretty neat.

Jenson71
10-05-2007, 10:12 PM
Sounds like I'll be seeing it - twice!

Have you ever seen Once Upon a Time in the West, frazod?

Frazod
10-05-2007, 10:12 PM
I picked up Unforgiven two weeks ago on HD DVD.

I'd just bought the player that hooks up to my XBOX 360, and that was my western pick. (I'd never seen it.) I've watched it twice since then. Excellent movie.

As a bonus... The disc had the full episode of "Maverick" where Clint made his first TV appearance. Pretty neat.

Cool - I've never seen that.

I haven't made the switch to HD DVD yet - and after spending a couple of thousand dollars upgrading my VHS tapes to DVD, I'm NOT going to do that again. :grr:

Frazod
10-05-2007, 10:14 PM
Sounds like I'll be seeing it - twice!

Have you ever seen Once Upon a Time in the West, frazod?

Actually, Jenson, even you might hate this one. :D

And yes, I've seen and own Once Upon a Time in the West. I liked it.

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:14 PM
Cool - I've never seen that.

I haven't made the switch to HD DVD yet - and after spending a couple of thousand dollars upgrading my VHS tapes to DVD, I'm NOT going to do that again. :grr:Yeah.. I had a 360 already.. and the add-on was only $180. (including 6 free movies)

I couldn't really justify not getting it.

Frazod
10-05-2007, 10:16 PM
Yeah.. I had a 360 already.. and the add-on was only $180. (including 6 free movies)

I couldn't really justify not getting it.
Hey, are you going to the Kansas/Missouri game?

(its my f#cking thread, I'll hijack it if I want to) :)

Jenson71
10-05-2007, 10:18 PM
Actually, Jenson, even you might hate this one. :D

And yes, I've seen and own Once Upon a Time in the West. I liked it.

No, no. I liked The Thin Red Line. I thought Ben Hur was too short. I think the wedding scene in The Deer Hunter was cut too early.

I'm really surprised you liked Once Upon a Time in the West, but hated Once Upon a Time in America! You confuse me!!

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:21 PM
Hey, are you going to the Kansas/Missouri game?

(its my f#cking thread, I'll hijack it if I want to) :)If I am, I don't know it, yet...

I really want to go, but I haven't bought tickets.

If there are seats available in 2 weeks, odds are.. I'm going.

Frazod
10-05-2007, 10:21 PM
No, no. I liked The Thin Red Line. I thought Ben Hur was too short. I think the wedding scene in The Deer Hunter was cut too early.

I'm really surprised you liked Once Upon a Time in the West, but hated Once Upon a Time in America! You confuse me!!

Well, maybe you will like it.

As far as the Once Upon a Time movies, all I can say is that one totally f#cking sucked, and one didn't. :)

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 10:28 PM
Best Westerns of All Time

1. Shane
2. Magnificent 7
3. BC and the Sundance Kid
4. Searchers
5 Outlaw Josey Wales
6. Judge Roy Bean
7. Long Riders
8. Bad Company
9. The Shootest
10. Unforgiven

DomerNKC
10-05-2007, 10:30 PM
I thought he was good in 12 monkeys and Fight Club.. but thats it, really.true romance?

Frazod
10-05-2007, 10:31 PM
true romance?

He was amusing in that movie. Never left the couch.

Haven't we all had roommates like that at one point or another?

Easy 6
10-05-2007, 10:35 PM
He was amusing in that movie. Never left the couch.

Haven't we all had roommates like that at one point or another?

"dont f#ckin condescend me man, i'll f#ckin kill ya".

Wasnt the main hitman a young James Gandolfini???

Frazod
10-05-2007, 10:36 PM
"dont f#ckin condescend me man, i'll f#ckin kill ya".

Wasnt the main hitman a young James Gandolfini???

Yep.

That's a GREAT movie.

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 10:36 PM
"dont f#ckin condescend me man, i'll f#ckin kill ya".

Wasnt the main hitman a young James Gandolfini???

yep

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 10:37 PM
Pitts best movie was where he played the serial killer driving cross country.

Easy 6
10-05-2007, 10:38 PM
The last good movie Christian Slater ever did.

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:40 PM
Pitts best movie was where he played the serial killer driving cross country.

Edit: Damnit... no, no... it was Kalifornia... wasn't it?

DomerNKC
10-05-2007, 10:42 PM
The last good movie Christian Slater ever did.i don't know. Very bad things was hilarious. Especially when Cameron Diaz kicks the shit out of Slater with a coat rack.

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:42 PM
Isnt that one called "Kalifornia" with David Duchovny???Yep... I think you beat my edit.

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:43 PM
Heheh, Scott deleted it... but good call anyway.

Pitt's a damned good actor.

Easy 6
10-05-2007, 10:46 PM
i don't know. Very bad things was hilarious. Especially when Cameron Diaz kicks the shit out of Slater with a coat rack.

I remember that one, but by then he had lost that "cool guy" aura he had from True Romance & Pump Up The Volume IMO.

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 10:49 PM
Edit: Damnit... no, no... it was Kalifornia... wasn't it?

Thats it-I hate when I can't think of a movie title :banghead:

DomerNKC
10-05-2007, 10:51 PM
Without a doubt and take it from someone who's lived in St Joe most of his life,it's the best most authentic movie ever made about the James Gang.You live in the town that Jesse James spent the last 5 months of his life in? Wow, imagine how informed you would be if you lived in Kearney or Liberty. He even lived in Nashville alot longer than St. Joseph. The Pony Express is a different story though...

Easy 6
10-05-2007, 10:51 PM
Heheh, Scott deleted it... but good call anyway.

Pitt's a damned good actor.

No doubt about it, the guy is a real actor.

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:51 PM
Thats it-I hate when I can't think of a movie title :banghead:
His name was "Early".... played a good redneck. Missouri boy. :)

Easy 6
10-05-2007, 10:53 PM
His name was "Early".... played a good redneck. Missouri boy. :)

Of course Juliet Lewis played the same stupid tramp she plays in EVERY movie.

She's made a career out of it.

Deberg_1990
10-05-2007, 10:56 PM
It's a buyer, IMO. The movie came out in 1980. One of the neat things about it is that all the principal rolls were real life brother actors portraying real brother outlaws. James and Stacy Keach played the James Brothers, the Carradines played the Younger Brothers, the Quaids played Ed and Clell Miller, and the Guests played Bob and Charlie Ford. It was directed by Walter Hill. Ranks only beneath Unforgiven as my favorite western.

Yea, Long Riders is a great flick. Back when Walter Hill was a great director.

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:56 PM
Of course Juliet Lewis played the same stupid tramp she plays in EVERY movie.

She's made a career out of it.Did she start that in "Natural Born Killers"?

Talk about "type cast".

Deberg_1990
10-05-2007, 10:56 PM
Of course Juliet Lewis played the same stupid tramp she plays in EVERY movie.

She's made a career out of it.


Shes still hot though....

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 10:58 PM
Shes still hot though....I'd hit it.

ChiefaRoo
10-05-2007, 10:59 PM
Hey now. I loved Gettysburg. Don't rip on that one. :mad:

I liked Gettysburg too. Not because it was a great film but because it was history.

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 10:59 PM
Of course Juliet Lewis played the same stupid tramp she plays in EVERY movie.

She's made a career out of it.

good thing her singing career is.......

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 11:00 PM
good thing her singing career is.......She sings?

Easy 6
10-05-2007, 11:00 PM
Did she start that in "Natural Born Killers"?

Talk about "type cast".

I'm not real sure when that started.

But she certainly does the "dumb whore" to a tee.

Frazod
10-05-2007, 11:03 PM
Juliette Lewis aggravates the f#ck out of me. She is tied with Marielle Hemingway and Sofia Coppola as my least favorite/most annoying actress ever. :grr:

Deberg_1990
10-05-2007, 11:04 PM
I'd hit it.


Most Def...

Easy 6
10-05-2007, 11:05 PM
Juliette Lewis aggravates the f#ck out of me. She is tied with Marielle Hemingway and Sofia Coppola as my least favorite/most annoying actress ever. :grr:

OH MY GOD MICKEY...WHADJA KILL'IM FOR???

One. Trick. Pony.

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 11:05 PM
She sings?

Yep has 2 CD;s and her own band. Juliette Lewis and the Dumb****s I think??

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 11:06 PM
Most Def...

reminds me of Tracy Lords. :drool:

Frazod
10-05-2007, 11:07 PM
reminds me of Tracy Lords. :drool:
:spock:

Are you f#cking kidding me?

Maybe if you chopped Traci's tits off and starved her for a month.

She NEVER looks that good in the movies.

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 11:09 PM
something about those pink panties and those pouty lips

i like those bad girls

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 11:10 PM
:spock:

Are you f#cking kidding me?

Maybe if you chopped Traci's tits off and starved her for a month.

She NEVER looks that good in the movies.Well, admittedly, I never was all that picky. :D

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 11:12 PM
Hey Fraz... I dunno if you saw this in the other thread... got it from my boss.

So, Mangino got lost on a recruiting visit to KC.

Stopped and asked a gas station attendant, "How can I get to 435?"

The attendant replied, "Eat more salad?"

Frazod
10-05-2007, 11:13 PM
Hey Fraz... I dunno if you saw this in the other thread... got it from my boss.

So, Mangino got lost on a recruiting visit to KC.

Stopped and asked a gas station attendant, "How can I get to 435?"

The attendant replied, "Eat more salad?"

Yeah, I saw that. ROFL

Jenson71
10-05-2007, 11:15 PM
Jennifer Connelly is on Conan rerun.

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 11:20 PM
Jennifer Connelly is on Conan rerun.
Did she go ass to ass?

KcMizzou
10-05-2007, 11:24 PM
Did she go ass to ass?:spock:

How does that work?

Nevermind... not sure I want to know.

Halfcan
10-05-2007, 11:30 PM
:spock:

How does that work?

Nevermind... not sure I want to know.

She did a movie where she got hooked on drugs and went ass to ass with another chick at a party for money. :drool:

KChiefer
10-06-2007, 12:47 AM
Did she go ass to ass?

That movie is seriously messed up! That part was pretty cool though!

So ppl brought up Gods and Generals. I've never seen it, but it was around #86 on rottentomatos worst movies.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/features/special/2007/wotw/

I can proudly say I've only seen 2 of the 100.

Universal Soldiers and Slackers.

Many say they don't let critics sway what they watch. I trust critics. It saves time.

Deberg_1990
10-06-2007, 09:15 AM
That movie is seriously messed up! That part was pretty cool though!

So ppl brought up Gods and Generals. I've never seen it, but it was around #86 on rottentomatos worst movies.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/features/special/2007/wotw/

I can proudly say I've only seen 2 of the 100.

Universal Soldiers and Slackers.

Many say they don't let critics sway what they watch. I trust critics. It saves time.


Hmmm...Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever rated worst of all time. 0% fresh rating....hahahaha

Never saw it.

MahiMike
10-06-2007, 09:19 AM
Rent The Long Riders. Trust me.

Beat me to it. 3 sets of brother/actors. Filmed in MO. Good stuff.

Kclee
10-06-2007, 10:20 AM
I thought he was good in 12 monkeys and Fight Club.. but thats it, really.

He was pretty good in Snatch too. (imo)

CoMoChief
10-06-2007, 11:34 AM
Even worse than Gettysburg?
Are you serious??? Gettysburg was good IMO.