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View Full Version : How Do Your Manners Stack Up?


FAX
11-13-2007, 01:50 PM
Here's the problem as I see it. A guy hangs out with guys, you know, slamming brewskis, watching games, finger banging waitresses and generally just having a good time. Then, he has to go to dinner parties, business lunches, or art gallery openings with respectable, cultured people who frown on finger banging and stuff. So, now you have to focus on things like folding the napkin properly in your lap, moving the soup spoon from front to back, placing your utensil in the 11:00 position on the plate after finishing, keeping your elbows off the table, and always passing the salt and the pepper together.

Anyhow, I'm wondering how Planeteers would rate their table manners on a 1 to 10 scale. Are manners important? Do you have two sets of manners ... one for the cave and one for the outside world? Do you emphasize manners with your kids? At home? Does your SO care?

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if re-post. Sorry if rude-post.

Garcia Bronco
11-13-2007, 01:53 PM
Manners are important...and I would rate myself as a 8-9.

|Zach|
11-13-2007, 01:55 PM
After all the time working at country clubs...I would say mine stack up pretty well.

El Jefe
11-13-2007, 01:55 PM
I would say 8.5-9

MIAdragon
11-13-2007, 01:55 PM
8

I can "finger bang" with the best of them but can also fold a mean napkin. A proper balance is crucial.

Boon
11-13-2007, 02:03 PM
F*ck manners!!

FAX
11-13-2007, 02:04 PM
Manners are important...and I would rate myself as a 8-9.

I attend quite a few formal and semi-formal functions, Mr. Garcia Bronco, and I'm pretty amazed at the lack of basic table manners displayed by many of the people I observe. New money, maybe, I don't know.

One of the things I notice is that very few men do things like open doors for women, offer them a seat, hold their chair, take their coat, and so on. Granted, some of these gals are pretty ugly, but still.

FAX

RJ
11-13-2007, 02:04 PM
Manners are very important to my wife and I and we stress them heavily to our daughter. Please, thank you, excuse me, holding doors.....IMO, those things matter.

Boon
11-13-2007, 02:06 PM
Granted, some of these gals are pretty ugly, but still.

FAX

Do you finger bang them?

Bacon Cheeseburger
11-13-2007, 02:09 PM
Occasionally I'll eat my main course with a salad fork. That's how I roll.

Boon
11-13-2007, 02:10 PM
Occasionally I'll eat my main course with a salad fork. That's how I roll.


A regular John Blutarsky!!

chasedude
11-13-2007, 02:13 PM
I attend quite a few formal and semi-formal functions, Mr. Garcia Bronco, and I'm pretty amazed at the lack of basic table manners displayed by many of the people I observe. New money, maybe, I don't know.

One of the things I notice is that very few men do things like open doors for women, offer them a seat, hold their chair, take their coat, and so on. Granted, some of these gals are pretty ugly, but still.

FAX

I'm glad you clarified your definition of Manners Mr Fax. I'm not the kind of guy that cares whether or not I'm eating a salad with the dessert spoon or not. I do however let women and children go first and I hold the door open for everyone.

RJ
11-13-2007, 02:13 PM
Occasionally I'll eat my main course with a salad fork. That's how I roll.



Barbarian.

Donger
11-13-2007, 02:14 PM
10.

stlchiefs
11-13-2007, 02:15 PM
I'm not the kind of guy that cares whether or not I'm eating a salad with the dessert spoon or not.

I'm sure you would notice if you were eating a salad with a spoon, but congrats if you've mastered this ability.

stlchiefs
11-13-2007, 02:15 PM
Occasionally I'll eat my main course with a salad fork. That's how I roll.

Vegetarian.

Skip Towne
11-13-2007, 02:17 PM
When do you use the spork?

pr_capone
11-13-2007, 02:17 PM
7-10 depending on my mood.

Donger
11-13-2007, 02:18 PM
When do you use the spork?

Only when in Oklahoma.

Deberg_1990
11-13-2007, 02:18 PM
One of the things I notice is that very few men do things like open doors for women, offer them a seat, hold their chair, take their coat, and so on. Granted, some of these gals are pretty ugly, but still.




Damn womens liberation movement!!

ChiefsCountry
11-13-2007, 02:18 PM
When do you use the spork?

At Taco Bell

Skip Towne
11-13-2007, 02:19 PM
Only when in Oklahoma.
See, now that right there was poor manners.

stlchiefs
11-13-2007, 02:19 PM
When do you use the spork?

Only when eating coleslaw at a picnic or when otherwise provided one by KFC.

Boon
11-13-2007, 02:20 PM
I'm sure you would notice if you were eating a salad with a spoon, but congrats if you've mastered this ability.


Could be a jello salad. You could eat that with a spoon.

DaKCMan AP
11-13-2007, 02:20 PM
7.5

I use a fork with my right hand a knife with my left. Otherwise, I'm pretty good.

AZORChiefFan
11-13-2007, 02:20 PM
I try and have decent manners sometimes I catch myself with elbows on the table and things like that. When the time comes for me to 'mind my manners' I think I do pretty well.

I work in close proximity to 2 younger 'women' (25 and 22) and both make a crap ton of noise eating. This was one of my moms pet peeves which has become one of mine.

Yeah they (chips, sunflower seeds etc) are crunchy but close your friggin mouth before biting down. Swear they sound like cows eating celery in an echo chamber.

I do open doors and whatnot for my GF.

RJ
11-13-2007, 02:21 PM
When do you use the spork?



It is generally considered good form to use a spork when the appetizer is potted meat. Vienna franks, on the other hand, call for a cocktail fork.

Donger
11-13-2007, 02:21 PM
See, now that right there was poor manners.

I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

ChiefsCountry
11-13-2007, 02:22 PM
One of the things I notice is that very few men do things like open doors for women, offer them a seat, hold their chair, take their coat, and so on.

I do those things if I am on a date or a girl I want to be with.

Donger
11-13-2007, 02:23 PM
7.5

I use a fork with my right hand a knife with my left. Otherwise, I'm pretty good.

Really? I'm the exact opposite.

It freaked my family out when we came to the US and saw people using their knife and fork to cut up food, and then putting the knife down, switching the fork to the other hand and using it to place the food into their mouths.

Very inefficient.

AZORChiefFan
11-13-2007, 02:23 PM
Going into or leaving a a place of business if the doors aren't automated I will hold it open for the next person male or female. Don't think it's so much good manners as it is just being a good person.

siberian khatru
11-13-2007, 02:24 PM
9.

I docked myself a point for putting my elbows on the table. I know I shouldn't, but I just don't give a ****.

MIAdragon
11-13-2007, 02:24 PM
I do those things if I am on a date or a girl I want to be with.

Why would you be on a date with a girl you didnít "want to be" with

DaKCMan AP
11-13-2007, 02:24 PM
Really? I'm the exact opposite.


That's the "correct" way. I do it efficiently, but "backwards".

bkkcoh
11-13-2007, 02:24 PM
The question is, do you catch yourself saying excuse me for burping if you are the only one around

FAX
11-13-2007, 02:25 PM
7-10 depending on my mood.

That's sort of the way I am, Mr. pr_capone. In public, I strive for 10ness. But at home, sometimes I like to eat stew with my hands.

FAX

Donger
11-13-2007, 02:25 PM
The question is, do you catch yourself saying excuse me for burping if you are the only one around

Heathen! You should use 'pardon me' when you burp, not 'excuse me.'

MIAdragon
11-13-2007, 02:27 PM
Going into or leaving a a place of business if the doors aren't automated I will hold it open for the next person male or female. Don't think it's so much good manners as it is just being a good person.

isnít it annoying when those people you are holding the door fail to acknowledge what you did for them, like its expected or something. Not that I do it for the accolades but a little props every now and then would be great.

Donger
11-13-2007, 02:28 PM
That's the "correct" way. I do it efficiently, but "backwards".

I wouldn't be able to eat at the same table as you. Seriously.

RockChalk
11-13-2007, 02:28 PM
has anyone ever found a metal spork before? the only sporks i've ever seen are from Taco Bell/KFC

also, what's the point of the spork? it really is just a broken spoon.

another interesting utensil is the grapefruit spoon

siberian khatru
11-13-2007, 02:29 PM
9.

I docked myself a point for putting my elbows on the table. I know I shouldn't, but I just don't give a ****.

I just noticed that was my 25,000th post.

Talk about anti-climactic.

MIAdragon
11-13-2007, 02:29 PM
has anyone ever found a metal spork before? the only sporks i've ever seen are from Taco Bell/KFC

also, what's the point of the spork? it really is just a broken spoon.

another interesting utensil is the grapefruit spoon
http://404.realmud.com/Beeramid/metalspork.jpg

http://www.rulifson.com/webimages/stanford_pd/brian_rulifson_spork_440.jpg

RJ
11-13-2007, 02:30 PM
Going into or leaving a a place of business if the doors aren't automated I will hold it open for the next person male or female. Don't think it's so much good manners as it is just being a good person.



I guess you could be a bad person and still be polite but I don't think you can be rude and still be a good person.......I think.

RockChalk
11-13-2007, 02:30 PM
http://404.realmud.com/Beeramid/metalspork.jpg

http://www.rulifson.com/webimages/stanford_pd/brian_rulifson_spork_440.jpg


so they do exist...why the f*ck would anyone buy a set of these?

FAX
11-13-2007, 02:31 PM
I just noticed that was my 25,000th post.

Talk about anti-climactic.

Dang. We should have thrown a cocktail party.

Perhaps you should mimic Mr. Phobia's strategy and delete a few of your older posts, Mr. siberian khatru, it's like a virtual tummy tuck, I'm told.

FAX

MIAdragon
11-13-2007, 02:32 PM
so they do exist...why the f*ck would anyone buy a set of these?

Here are a few more!!!

http://www.backpackinglight.com/backpackinglight/images/items/Vargo-Titanium_Spork_colors.jpg

FAX
11-13-2007, 02:32 PM
isnít it annoying when those people you are holding the door fail to acknowledge what you did for them, like its expected or something. Not that I do it for the accolades but a little props every now and then would be great.

That's why God made tripping, Mr. MIAdragon.

Taste 'crete, you ungrateful bitch.

FAX

RJ
11-13-2007, 02:32 PM
I just noticed that was my 25,000th post.

Talk about anti-climactic.




Maybe you should delete it and try to come up with something a little weightier. Something Churchill-like.

chasedude
11-13-2007, 02:33 PM
Heathen! You should use 'pardon me' when you burp, not 'excuse me.'

British :rolleyes:

FAX
11-13-2007, 02:34 PM
I guess you could be a bad person and still be polite but I don't think you can be rude and still be a good person.......I think.

Manners and goodness aren't related in my view, Mr. RJ. If you're good and well-mannered, that's good. But, if your bad and well-mannered, that's not good. But, if you're good and poorly mannered, that's bad but not as bad as being bad and poorly mannered which isn't good.

FAX

Bacon Cheeseburger
11-13-2007, 02:37 PM
so they do exist...why the f*ck would anyone buy a set of these?
Aren't those the grapefruit spoons you mentioned earlier? I'm not sure as I don't eat grapefruit but my mom did back in the day. I know she used something similar to that.

Edit: No, it's not a grapefruit spoon, you dumbass.

88TG88
11-13-2007, 02:37 PM
I would rate myself a 7. I can't stop myself from putting my elbows on the table.

AZORChiefFan
11-13-2007, 02:39 PM
That's why God made tripping, Mr. MIAdragon.

Taste 'crete, you ungrateful bitch.

FAX
I had a woman get offended that I held the door open for her.

I was like F U bitch I wasn't holding it open because you have a vag.

RockChalk
11-13-2007, 02:39 PM
my personal favorite utensil is the grapefruit spoon

http://nodoctors.com/images/blog/grapefruit_spoon.jpg

has anyone ever used one of these? and if so, did it work? my parents have a set of these and i always end up just using a knife and then a regular spoon to cut out the flesh of a grapefruit

bkkcoh
11-13-2007, 02:40 PM
I guess you could be a bad person and still be polite but I don't think you can be rude and still be a good person.......I think.


Is that kind of like being a moral person without being religious?

StcChief
11-13-2007, 02:42 PM
my personal favorite utensil is the grapefruit spoon

http://nodoctors.com/images/blog/grapefruit_spoon.jpg

has anyone ever used one of these? and if so, did it work? my parents have a set of these and i always end up just using a knife and then a regular spoon to cut out the flesh of a grapefruit

they work perfect with the right ripeness of the GF otherwise Knife the partitions and use it.

BucEyedPea
11-13-2007, 02:44 PM
When I'm at home, I'll admit to licking my plate and standing over the sink to eat out of a can of tuna or the last of the ice-cream carton ( or even when first opened). It po's my kid who now has better manners than me. Burping I never do though.

Spott
11-13-2007, 02:45 PM
I'm always polite and courteous, but I would never eat at a place that you have to worry about how to fold your napkin or worry about where to put your fork when you are done eating. There's a hell of a lot of more important things in life than worrying about which spoon to use for soup.

RJ
11-13-2007, 02:50 PM
Manners and goodness aren't related in my view, Mr. RJ. If you're good and well-mannered, that's good. But, if your bad and well-mannered, that's not good. But, if you're good and poorly mannered, that's bad but not as bad as being bad and poorly mannered which isn't good.

FAX



I think you can be a good person while putting your elbows on the table but you're probably not a good person if, for instance, you tend to butt into lines. Different types of manners, I suppose.

Hey, why aren't we supposed to put our elbows on the table anyway?

RJ
11-13-2007, 02:51 PM
Is that kind of like being a moral person without being religious?



I'd say that's a good analogy.

Stewie
11-13-2007, 02:53 PM
Growing up, manners (especially table manners) were very important.

I've found that what I consider good manners are different for foreign business guests. In fact, those of us who deal with foreign business partners/customers are given a guide so not to offend.

I've learned to live with slurping soup, eating with fingers, blowing noses at the table, and on and on. My father would have had a coronary if he had to be subjected to that behavior.

Nzoner
11-13-2007, 02:56 PM
I'd say when it comes to holding doors,thanking people saying excuse me and the like I'm a 9-10 but I will go out of my way to not go to a stuffy restaurant especially with stuffy people.

If I'm going to pay $15 for a salad I sure as hell am not going to be told what fork I should use to eat it with.

MIAdragon
11-13-2007, 02:57 PM
Growing up, manners (especially table manners) were very important.

I've found that what I consider good manners are different for foreign business guests. In fact, those of us who deal with foreign business partners/customers are given a guide so not to offend.

I've learned to live with slurping soup, eating with fingers, blowing noses at the table, and on and on. My father would have had a coronary if he had to be subjected to that behavior.

I would get smacked if I even attempted to wear a hat to the dinner table

Valiant
11-13-2007, 03:00 PM
I would say 7 just because I refuse not to have my elbows on the table.. If I am eating or drinking they are off, but other then that its elbow rest time.

FAX
11-13-2007, 03:00 PM
I think you can be a good person while putting your elbows on the table but you're probably not a good person if, for instance, you tend to butt into lines. Different types of manners, I suppose.

Hey, why aren't we supposed to put our elbows on the table anyway?

I agree, Mr. RJ. Being courteous to your fellow man or woman is the main thing. That's why I never finger bang a waitress without asking first unless we're in the 4th quarter and the score is close. The same thing applies to meals. If your dinner companions are offended by someone placing their elbows on the table, you have a decision to make ... should you take the position that they are stuck up elites who have their priorities out of whack so who cares what they think? Or, should you defer to their sensibilities in the interest of good will and thoughtful consideration of others?

As for the elbow rule, I don't know, Mr. RJ. There are tons of little rules. Like, for example, someone asks you for the salt. Great. You have to pass them both the salt and the pepper. Okay, so far. However, you cannot actually "hand" it to them. You have to place it on the table between you otherwise it's a foul. Whoever thought of that needed another hobby.

FAX

Nzoner
11-13-2007, 03:00 PM
Oh and while I'm at it those same stuffy people at Arrowhead with their little golf claps and moaning because someone is standing in front of them,get the fock over it,you're at a football game,so either act like it and get behind your team or move your ass to a "stuffier" section!

Demonpenz
11-13-2007, 03:02 PM
I was told I had bad manners because I didn't even try the steak before I put Hienz 57 on it. I think it was a matter of taste but whatever.

Nzoner
11-13-2007, 03:05 PM
I was told I had bad manners because I didn't even try the steak before I put Hienz 57 on it. I think it was a matter of taste but whatever.

Someone actually told you that?I hope you bitch slapped them.

Fish
11-13-2007, 03:05 PM
Anywhere from 3-9 depending on the company I'm keeping at the moment....

stlchiefs
11-13-2007, 03:09 PM
Really? I'm the exact opposite.

It freaked my family out when we came to the US and saw people using their knife and fork to cut up food, and then putting the knife down, switching the fork to the other hand and using it to place the food into their mouths.

Very inefficient.

I do it the American way, but am jealous of those that don't have to switch hands. I guess I'm just not coordinated enough to do it without looking awkward. My fiancee, being a lefty accomplishes cutting w/out switching hands and finds it amazing that I cannot.

Demonpenz
11-13-2007, 03:09 PM
Someone actually told you that?I hope you bitch slapped them.


I was like 17 was too confused at what was going on and it was one of my friends parents.

Jilly
11-13-2007, 03:12 PM
I'm a 10. My crazy mother made me go to charm school when I was a kid.

Stewie
11-13-2007, 03:12 PM
I was like 17 was too confused at what was going on and it was one of my friends parents.

If the steaks were so good why was Heinz 57 available?

AZORChiefFan
11-13-2007, 03:14 PM
I'm a 10. My crazy mother made me go to charm school when I was a kid.

Charm School in Lees Summit - I call BS!!!

tooge
11-13-2007, 03:18 PM
It is one of my policies to not hang out with anyone that is such a snob that they would think any less of me for a lack of table manners. I will only hang with friends that dont think that way. I pretty much only have one, and that is not to chew with my mouth open. I mean who the hell cares where the utensils go or what they are used for? I try to eat as much of my food as I can with my fingers. Is that considered fingerbanging my food? Oh, if someone other than my wife) is pissed that I fingerbanged the waitress, it is only cause they didn't get there first.

Nzoner
11-13-2007, 03:19 PM
If the steaks were so good why was Heinz 57 available?

It shouldn't matter how good the steaks are if that's YOUR preference than so be it.I once took my employees and their spouses to a nice steakhouse and one of employee's boyfriend put ketchup all over a $25 steak,while I thought it was disgusting I sure thought it would be worse manners to point it out.

Spott
11-13-2007, 03:20 PM
Charm School in Lees Summit - I call BS!!!

Lee's Summit is MO's version of Overland Park now. It was smaller, nicer town when I grew up there but I don't even recognize it anymore.

Stewie
11-13-2007, 03:21 PM
It shouldn't matter how good the steaks are if that's YOUR preference than so be it.I once took my employees and their spouses to a nice steakhouse and one of employee's boyfriend put ketchup all over a $25 steak,while I thought it was disgusting I sure thought it would be worse manners to point it out.

That wasn't my point.

Demonpenz
11-13-2007, 03:26 PM
That wasn't my point.


as i remember I don't think it was available I always bring ranch and hienz in my worlds of fun fanny pack

Calcountry
11-13-2007, 03:29 PM
Here's the problem as I see it. A guy hangs out with guys, you know, slamming brewskis, watching games, finger banging waitresses and generally just having a good time. Then, he has to go to dinner parties, business lunches, or art gallery openings with respectable, cultured people who frown on finger banging and stuff. So, now you have to focus on things like folding the napkin properly in your lap, moving the soup spoon from front to back, placing your utensil in the 11:00 position on the plate after finishing, keeping your elbows off the table, and always passing the salt and the pepper together.

Anyhow, I'm wondering how Planeteers would rate their table manners on a 1 to 10 scale. Are manners important? Do you have two sets of manners ... one for the cave and one for the outside world? Do you emphasize manners with your kids? At home? Does your SO care?

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if re-post. Sorry if rude-post.Simple, just move your game to the toes. Ladies that are all focused on the table top love guys who are skilled with their toes.

Nzoner
11-13-2007, 03:29 PM
That wasn't my point.

Sorry, I wasn't being critical of you,this is just a touchy subject with me as I've been around some people in my life that have acted like someone just ripped a loud fart at the table all because they were using the wrong fork,asking for steak sauce etc.

Jilly
11-13-2007, 03:33 PM
Charm School in Lees Summit - I call BS!!!

yeah, didn't live in ls when I was a kid

Stewie
11-13-2007, 03:39 PM
Sorry, I wasn't being critical of you,this is just a touchy subject with me as I've been around some people in my life that have acted like someone just ripped a loud fart at the table all because they were using the wrong fork,asking for steak sauce etc.

I didn't take it as criticism. I was just pointing out the fact that Heinz 57 was available to use. If someone wants to put it on $50 filet mignon that's their prerogative. The snobs think everyone else should eat food exactly as they like it.

Micjones
11-13-2007, 03:39 PM
9.

Jilly
11-13-2007, 03:52 PM
I didn't take it as criticism. I was just pointing out the fact that Heinz 57 was available to use. If someone wants to put it on $50 filet mignon that's their prerogative. The snobs think everyone else should eat food exactly as they like it.

man, steak sounds good

|Zach|
11-13-2007, 04:07 PM
If the steaks were so good why was Heinz 57 available?
Because even nice places make it available to you?

Bacon Cheeseburger
11-13-2007, 04:12 PM
It shouldn't matter how good the steaks are if that's YOUR preference than so be it.I once took my employees and their spouses to a nice steakhouse and one of employee's boyfriend put ketchup all over a $25 steak,while I thought it was disgusting I sure thought it would be worse manners to point it out.
I would've said something, that's ****ing criminal. :shake:

Fruit Ninja
11-13-2007, 04:14 PM
First off, i kick that salad to the side. Salad is for ****ing rabbits. Just go straight to some steaks. I never go to fancy places anyways. They dont do it for me. I dont like lobster type of foods. I like ribs and club sandwhichs, steaks. Real food.

Nzoner
11-13-2007, 04:17 PM
I would've said something, that's ****ing criminal. :shake:

Dude it's St Joe

RJ
11-13-2007, 04:22 PM
Pouring catsup over a $25 steak isn't rude. Dumb, yes. Rude, no. Guy shoulda' ordered a burger and fries.

kstater
11-13-2007, 04:27 PM
I'd rate fairly good. Just depends on who I'm with. Funny story though. Grew up in Kansas, parents taught me good manners. Moved down here to start working for a company. Within the first week while working with my boss, he told me something and I responded yes sir. Didn't think anything about it. He told me never to call him sir again. Took some time, and I still let it slip sometimes to him. Just thought it was odd.

JBucc
11-13-2007, 04:34 PM
Probably a 1. I usually don't have shoes or a shirt, if I can't get something open I pry it open with my tooth, and I eat pudding out of those little plastic cups with the top part.

Bob Dole
11-13-2007, 04:40 PM
Aren't the forks there to stab the person next to you if they try to steal your steak while you're holding it in your left hand gnawing on it? And isn't the steak knife there just to play that knife between the fingers game to see who buys the next round of drinks?

stevieray
11-13-2007, 04:58 PM
table settings are just another part of the continued discrimination against lefties...I respectfully reject your backwards sided brains...

:harumph:

FAX
11-13-2007, 05:01 PM
I think the worst dining etiquette error is the old, hurl chunks across the table and pass out in your right-hand neighbor's mashed, garlic potatoes faux pas.

FAX

FAX
11-13-2007, 05:03 PM
table settings are just another part of the continued discrimination against lefties...I respectfully reject your backwards sided brains...

:harumph:

I don't know how that works, Mr. stevieray. Is the hostess supposed to set up your utensils and glassware on opposite sides?

FAX

RJ
11-13-2007, 05:06 PM
I think the worst dining etiquette error is the old, hurl chunks across the table and pass out in your right-hand neighbor's mashed, garlic potatoes faux pas.

FAX



Interestingly, in some countries that is considered a compliment to the chef.

Count Zarth
11-13-2007, 05:09 PM
I don't know about anyone else but I'd never fingerbang a waitress.

And I have impeccable manners.

ChiefsCountry
11-13-2007, 05:10 PM
Why would you be on a date with a girl you didnít "want to be" with

Wingman

Bob Dole
11-13-2007, 05:12 PM
I don't know how that works, Mr. stevieray. Is the hostess supposed to set up your utensils and glassware on opposite sides?

FAX

He's usually seated at the card table in the adjacent room.

stevieray
11-13-2007, 05:12 PM
I don't know how that works, Mr. stevieray. Is the hostess supposed to set up your utensils and glassware on opposite sides?

FAX

they don't care about our feelings FAX..we have to find our small victories in the turn signal, and the lever to flush the toilet...

FAX
11-13-2007, 05:13 PM
Interestingly, in some countries that is considered a compliment to the chef.

You know, that's an entirely different problem right there, Mr. RJ. You're right. Manners differ depending on the local culture. For example, in some societies, it's considered bad form to make eye contact or shake hands and stuff like that.

Which reminds me. I've been thinking about relocating. Is there a country where it's proper and expected that women provide 30 year old Glenfiddich, Cuban cigars, and oral sex to guys with five bucks and a tank of gas?

FAX

stevieray
11-13-2007, 05:14 PM
He's usually seated at the card table in the adjacent room.

or at the end of the table, always in lefty exile, where I can't harm others...

stevieray
11-13-2007, 05:19 PM
"You're other left, dummy"


"He left his ticket at home"

"I have my ticket right here"

"He just left.."

"He'll be right back"

"We'd think it'd be much better if you just left"

"Come right in"

at least it wasn't "back and to the left..."

Bob Dole
11-13-2007, 05:24 PM
"You're other left, dummy"


"He left his ticket at home"

"I have my ticket right here"

"He just left.."

"He'll be right back"

"We'd think it'd be much better if you just left"

"Come right in"

at least it wasn't "back and to the left..."

And don't forget, "I'd rather be dead than have red on my head."

RJ
11-13-2007, 05:24 PM
You know, that's an entirely different problem right there, Mr. RJ. You're right. Manners differ depending on the local culture. For example, in some societies, it's considered bad form to make eye contact or shake hands and stuff like that.

Which reminds me. I've been thinking about relocating. Is there a country where it's proper and expected that women provide 30 year old Glenfiddich, Cuban cigars, and oral sex to guys with five bucks and a tank of gas?

FAX



Yes, there is such a place. Sadly, though, it is a capital offense in that country for men to drink alcohol, smoke cigars or receive oral sex. The punishment for any of those acts is a slow and painful death.

Ironic, huh?

stlchiefs
11-13-2007, 05:28 PM
I don't know about anyone else but I'd never fingerbang a waitress.



Then you're not going to the right restaurants. :drool:

FAX
11-13-2007, 05:30 PM
Yes, there is such a place. Sadly, though, it is a capital offense in that country for men to drink alcohol, smoke cigars or receive oral sex. The punishment for any of those acts is a slow and painful death.

Ironic, huh?

ROFL

I think I may be willing to take my chances.

FAX

Rain Man
11-13-2007, 05:35 PM
I pride myself on my ability to move effortlessly between cultures. For example, in polite society I know which fork to use for every course, but when alone at home my foraging and eating habits are australopithecine. Truthfully, the australopithecine part comes more easily.

stevieray
11-13-2007, 05:36 PM
'southpaw'

'Hamas' Jenkins
11-13-2007, 05:46 PM
4.

RJ
11-13-2007, 05:47 PM
I pride myself on my ability to move effortlessly between cultures. For example, in polite society I know which fork to use for every course, but when alone at home my foraging and eating habits are australopithecine. Truthfully, the australopithecine part comes more easily.



I envy my 4 y/o that. She'll generally use her fork and spoon but if she's really hungry and eating something she really likes then formalities are dispensed with.

AZORChiefFan
11-13-2007, 06:13 PM
yeah, didn't live in ls when I was a kid
Didn't think so.

FAX
11-13-2007, 06:16 PM
I pride myself on my ability to move effortlessly between cultures. For example, in polite society I know which fork to use for every course, but when alone at home my foraging and eating habits are australopithecine. Truthfully, the australopithecine part comes more easily.

There are few things in life so satisfying as pouring fresh Rice Krispies directly from the box into one's gullet, Mr. Rain Man.

I like to make hoarse, gutteral sounds while I'm doing it. And afterwards I ululate.

FAX

JohninGpt
11-13-2007, 06:36 PM
There are few things in life so satisfying as pouring fresh Rice Krispies directly from the box into one's gullet, Mr. Rain Man.

I like to make hoarse, gutteral sounds while I'm doing it. And afterwards I ululate.

FAX
Please refrain from ululating in my Rice Crispies. I also dislike when someone pisses in my Post Toasties.

barry_smilez20
11-13-2007, 06:40 PM
i thought real men were suppose to be vikings all the time

http://www.coxhoe.durham.sch.uk/Curriculum/Vikings/viking2.gif

Valiant
11-13-2007, 06:47 PM
man, steak sounds good



No one took liberties with this statement?? I am ****ing shocked..

Her it goes...



man-steak, sounds good

RJ
11-13-2007, 06:50 PM
No one took liberties with this statement?? I am ****ing shocked..

Her it goes...



Well done.

No pun intended, of course.