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Gonzo
11-13-2007, 08:49 PM
Just found out that Mrs. Gonzo has a bun in the oven.
It will be our first. We have been together for almost 14 years and we just started trying about 2 months ago.
:)

Bob Dole
11-13-2007, 08:50 PM
Congrats.

FAX
11-13-2007, 08:51 PM
That's great news, indeed, Mr. Gonzo. Congratulations to both you and Mrs. Gonzo.

But ... uhhh ... have you had her tied up in the basement or something?

FAX

gblowfish
11-13-2007, 08:51 PM
How did that happen?

Count Alex's Losses
11-13-2007, 08:52 PM
Craptastic!

Gonzo
11-13-2007, 08:53 PM
That's great news, indeed, Mr. Gonzo. Congratulations to both you and Mrs. Gonzo.

But ... uhhh ... have you had her tied up in the basement or something?

FAX

Nah, there's something to be said for the "Pull out" method Mr. Fax.

barry_smilez20
11-13-2007, 08:54 PM
nice

Gonzo
11-13-2007, 08:55 PM
How did that happen?

Well...When a man and a woman want to giggity, you know what? If you don't know I ain't sayin.

RJ
11-13-2007, 08:56 PM
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Gonzo. There is no greater joy in life.

Gonzo
11-13-2007, 08:59 PM
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Gonzo. There is no greater joy in life.
Thank you RJ.
We are very excited.

FAX
11-13-2007, 09:01 PM
Nah, there's something to be said for the "Pull out" method Mr. Fax.

Don't get me wrong, Mr. Gonzo. I'm sincerely and authentically happy for you.

But, 14 years? It's none of my business, but that's a long time to wait.

FAX

JohninGpt
11-13-2007, 09:03 PM
Just found out that Mrs. Gonzo has a bun in the oven.
It will be our first. We have been together for almost 14 years and we just started trying about 2 months ago.
:)
Congrats, but I'm still trying to figure out the way to not accidentally impregnate someone twice in a 14 year time span.

Rain Man
11-13-2007, 09:05 PM
Congratulations, assuming of course that Travis Henry hasn't played a game in your town this fall.

Gonzo
11-13-2007, 09:07 PM
Don't get me wrong, Mr. Gonzo. I'm sincerely and authentically happy for you.

But, 14 years? It's none of my business, but that's a long time to wait.

FAX


Well Fax, Mrs. Gonzo and I have worked our way up from near poverty to an extremely comfortable lifestyle. We met on a blind date when we were both in our mid-teens. She is 29 and I'm 31 now and we felt as though it was finally time. She and I were wise beyond our years.

Thank you for your good wishes!!!

Gonzo
11-13-2007, 09:09 PM
Congratulations, assuming of course that Travis Henry hasn't played a game in your town this fall.


Wait a minute...PISS!!!!!

ROFL

Phobia
11-13-2007, 09:11 PM
Well Fax, Mrs. Gonzo and I have worked our way up from near poverty to an extremely comfortable lifestyle. We met on a blind date when we were both in our mid-teens. She is 29 and I'm 31 now and we felt as though it was finally time. She and I were wise beyond our years.

Thank you for your good wishes!!!

You guys are a whole lot smarter than most the nation. Congratulations on your accomplishment but mostly on your decision to do it the right way. I hope everything turns out just the way you wanted it.

FAX
11-13-2007, 09:12 PM
Well Fax, Mrs. Gonzo and I have worked our way up from near poverty to an extremely comfortable lifestyle. We met on a blind date when we were both in our mid-teens. She is 29 and I'm 31 now and we felt as though it was finally time. She and I were wise beyond our years.

Thank you for your good wishes!!!

Well, I'll be wrapped in bacon and fried to a golden crisp. My esteem for you has increased a thousand fold, Mr. Gonzo. I love it when things work out for people whose priorities are straight.

Here's to a healthy child, a long life, and a brief labor. Just remember to breathe.

FAX

smittysbar
11-13-2007, 09:12 PM
Nah, there's something to be said for the "Pull out" method Mr. Fax.

You mean the "Banker method"

Withdraw and deposit:clap:

smittysbar
11-13-2007, 09:13 PM
oh yeah congrats, being a dad is fun

chief1981
11-13-2007, 09:14 PM
Just found out that Mrs. Gonzo has a bun in the oven.
It will be our first. We have been together for almost 14 years and we just started trying about 2 months ago.
:)

Congrats!!

Gonzo
11-13-2007, 09:17 PM
Well, I'll be wrapped in bacon and fried to a golden crisp. My esteem for you has increased a thousand fold, Mr. Gonzo. I love it when things work out for people whose priorities are straight.

Here's to a healthy child, a long life, and a brief labor. Just remember to breathe.

FAX

Thanks Fax!!!
Not to make this all mushy but I appreciate all the nice comments.

KCFalcon59
11-13-2007, 09:21 PM
He shoots. He scores!!!! Congrats!!!!

KC Jones
11-13-2007, 09:21 PM
Muchos congratiationas!

That's great and good for you guys to wait until you were ready.

Halfcan
11-13-2007, 09:25 PM
Congrats!

Extra Point
11-13-2007, 09:52 PM
Yeah, congrats. Hope everything goes well for your family.

Groves
11-13-2007, 09:55 PM
Fantastic. May it be the first of many.

movinbones
11-13-2007, 10:01 PM
Congrats!

Demonpenz
11-13-2007, 10:06 PM
you just now started having sex?

StcChief
11-13-2007, 10:34 PM
Congrats...

well she's safe now. :hump:

Skip Towne
11-13-2007, 10:45 PM
Hey, Gonzo, don't worry, we'll find out who did it.

Baconeater
11-13-2007, 10:51 PM
Hey, Gonzo, don't worry, we'll find out who did it.
It was that other guy from Omaha!

Rain Man
11-13-2007, 10:52 PM
It was that other guy from Omaha!


His wife is having Warren Buffett's baby? That's got to be good for some cash.

88TG88
11-13-2007, 11:13 PM
Congrats man !

Bill Lundberg
11-14-2007, 09:40 AM
Congratulations, my first is due any day now. Let me help you out with some lessons I've recently learned. First and foremost, pregnant women are crazy. My wife is not a crazy person, she did however become one from time to time during the pregnancy. Here are a couple of my chronicles if you will; they are a great example of what NOT to do.

Example 1:
Well the first blow up happened along with a raging case of stupidity. Last Sunday she was doing some work from home to get caught up. She still hasn't told her employer that she is prego. For some reason she wants to hide it as long as possible, who am I to argue. So she gets done with her work and faxes a bunch of documents to her office's general fax machine. We have an all in one printer, scanner, copier, fax machine that rarely ever gets used. While this is going on, I'm outside doing yard work. Then out of no where she comes darting through the back door, screaming "YOU MOTHER FOCKER!! SON OF A BITCH!, GODDAMNIT, FOCK!" I stop to think for a moment...I haven't done anything wrong since I lied about going to a strip club, it took 3 weeks for her to get over that but its behind us right??... I ask her what's wrong? "YOU LEFT THE MOTHER FOCKING SONOGRAM PICTURES ON THE SCANNER AND I JUST FAXED THEM ON EVERY PAGE I SENT TO WORK!! YOU DUMB MOTHER FOCKER! NOW I HAVE TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY IN AND HOPE TO GOD NO ONE IS WORKING ON A SUNDAY! FOCK YOU FOR RUINING MY DAY!" I did what any man would do in this situation and laughed hysterically while pointing at her. I said it's no big deal it's a Sunday, besides who gives a shit if you're pregnant they're going to find out sooner or later. She flipped me off and stomped to the garage and peeled out of the driveway. I called her after an hour or so, she said nobody was working and she intercepted the fax before anyone saw them. I then made the mistake of telling her in no way was it my fault that she was too stupid to check the scanner before sending a fax. Big mistake. I'm learning how and when to pick my battles, I'm learning the hard way, but I'm learning.

Example 2:

This morning my wife had to drop her car off for service and needed to be at the dealership by 7:00 in order to make it to work in time to get a few things done before her 9:00 appointment. I sleep until 8:00 every morning. I'm self employed and am at the office by 8:30 to work out every morning and working by 9:30.

At 7:10 the phone rings I get out of bed and answer. "Bill Lundberg, I'm at the dealership and I just noticed I have on black pants with my navy jacket and navy shoes. I can't go to work like this!! Will you go to my closet and get the Navy pants that go with this suit and bring them to me at the dealership?" I oblige and go to the closet find the right pants and head on my merry way.

It is important to note that I'm not a morning person and I don't have to endure rush hour traffic due to the close proximity of my job in relation to my house. I head straight into, rush hour bumper to bumper 5 miles an hour on the interstate, traffic which is 10 times worse than usual because its raining. 25 minutes later, I've made it 10 miles to the dealership and find her waiting.

She gets in and I hand her the pants and offer to drive her the rest of the way to work so she wouldn't have to ride in the dealer shuttle with some jackass she doesn't know. At this point I'm feeling pretty good about myself, I've done a very nice thing, a reward should be given, perhaps a BJ tonight.

Instead I get, "What the fock! Look at how wrinkled these are! It looks like someone slept in them. Why in the hell didn't you run the steamer over them!!" I honestly couldn't see the wrinkles she was speaking of. I lost it and reacted like anyone who felt they did a good thing even though the didn't want to would after being kicked square in the nuts. This lead more screaming and eventually crying as I dropped her off at work... What a way to start off the day.

Lzen
11-14-2007, 09:55 AM
Congrats. They are little gifts from God. Never forget that. ;)

Bump
11-14-2007, 10:51 AM
congrats! good job staying together for 14 years before having kids! that seems like a rarity these days, obviously you are 2 are not married because of kids but are having kids because you're married!

The Rick
11-14-2007, 11:20 AM
Congratulations, my first is due any day now. Let me help you out with some lessons I've recently learned. First and foremost, pregnant women are crazy. My wife is not a crazy person, she did however become one from time to time during the pregnancy. Here are a couple of my chronicles if you will; they are a great example of what NOT to do.

Example 1:


Example 2:
This man speaks the truth. My suggestion is to walk lightly, keep your head down, and don't make conversation or even eye contact for the next 9 months. :)

xbarretx
11-14-2007, 11:22 AM
Craptastic!

dang man you stole my response ;)

The Rick
11-14-2007, 11:28 AM
This man speaks the truth. My suggestion is to walk lightly, keep your head down, and don't make conversation or even eye contact for the next 9 months. :)
Seriously though, congrats. And, you're wife might have hormone issues from time to time, but it's not that bad with a little patience.

Our second one is due Feb. 1st and my wife has been great. For her sake though, I'm looking forward to the pregnancy being over with. It sucks to see them with the aches, pains, etc.

Gonzo
11-14-2007, 12:04 PM
Congratulations, my first is due any day now. Let me help you out with some lessons I've recently learned. First and foremost, pregnant women are crazy. My wife is not a crazy person, she did however become one from time to time during the pregnancy. Here are a couple of my chronicles if you will; they are a great example of what NOT to do.

Example 1:


Example 2:


ROFL

My wife's like that once a month naturally....

I'm SCREWED!!!!111!!!!11!!!11

Nightfyre
11-14-2007, 12:25 PM
Seriously though, congrats. And, you're wife might have hormone issues from time to time, but it's not that bad with a little patience.

Our second one is due Feb. 1st and my wife has been great. For her sake though, I'm looking forward to the pregnancy being over with. It sucks to see them with the aches, pains, etc.
I've seen one couple turn it into a joke-thing. Like she'll lose it for a few seconds and the guy will say "You're being pregnant again." And she'll stop, think and her mood swung right back up. :shrug: it'd be worth a try.

Logical
11-14-2007, 12:31 PM
Congratulations

Gonzo
11-14-2007, 12:36 PM
I've seen one couple turn it into a joke-thing. Like she'll lose it for a few seconds and the guy will say "You're being pregnant again." And she'll stop, think and her mood swung right back up. :shrug: it'd be worth a try.


Yeah, I've got to be super careful. I taught the wife how to shoot a 12 gauge.

Nightfyre
11-14-2007, 12:40 PM
Yeah, I've got to be super careful. I taught the wife how to shoot a 12 gauge.
ROFL

ChiefsFan4Life
11-14-2007, 01:03 PM
This thread could be related to this thread: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=174495

Gonzo
11-14-2007, 01:24 PM
This thread could be related to this thread: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=174495


WTF????

ChiefaRoo
11-14-2007, 01:35 PM
Just found out that Mrs. Gonzo has a bun in the oven.
It will be our first. We have been together for almost 14 years and we just started trying about 2 months ago.
:)

You're welcome.

Chief Henry
11-14-2007, 02:12 PM
Gonzo Jr. is on the way. Congrats and good luck.

R&GHomer
11-14-2007, 03:29 PM
Congrats

afchiefs
11-14-2007, 04:05 PM
congrats!

14 years? Hell I gave my son-in law 2 1/2 years befoer I threatened to put an add in the paper to put more men on the job. :D

Also: look out for the schwann's guy that SOB is everywhere

ottawa_chiefs_fan
11-14-2007, 04:36 PM
great news - your life is about to change in ways you cannot even imagine.

HemiEd
11-14-2007, 04:42 PM
Congratulations! Everything is about to change in your house, enjoy!

Frazod
11-14-2007, 04:50 PM
Congratulations. :toast:

And better you than me. :thumb:

Gonzo
11-29-2007, 09:32 AM
Well,
I've decided to keep you all aprised of the whole pregnancy situation.

Figured I'd do a bit of an online journal and share my "expieriences" with you all.

_____________________________________________________________

11/23/07

It's official, went to the Doc, Mrs. Gonzo is 6 weeks along. She's already starting to show a bit and her rack is killing her. She's a bit moody, especially since she quit smoking, (2 packs a day).

I try to support her and be there when she has her "moments" but my sub-par attempts at cosolation seem to fall upon deaf ears, Mrs. Gonzo has some guns on her from football and she used to kick box....I'm watching my ass.


11/27/07

She's either twitchy or horny, that's cool and all but I'm tired, I can't help but take on some of her duties around the house like laundry and dishes. I've always been the cook, Mrs. Gonzo can't cook all that well and she's eating like a horse already. I figured this wouldn't start for another month or two but apparently not. She's up to 120 lbs. now, gained 4 already, I think most of which is in her boobs. That kicks ass.

11/28/07
Hormones, man what a pain in the ass. One minute everything is all good, the next minute I have a table knife to my throat. Now I know what Bill Lundberg was talking about in this thread. Dark days ahead captain!!!

Count Alex's Losses
11-29-2007, 09:36 AM
Just have as much sex as possible before that femsphincter is destroyed.

dtebbe
11-29-2007, 12:27 PM
Just have as much sex as possible before that femsphincter is destroyed.

This might be the best advice GOTATSE has ever given.

Trust me, he's not kidding.

On the bright side, once they get to about 3 years old they are a blast.

DT

Iowanian
11-29-2007, 12:41 PM
congratulations.

You don't know true love, until you're changing the diaper of a newborn and realize you've stuck your hand under an oatmeal crapping arse to catch it to keep it off the blanket....and don't care.

just wait for the hormone fun the 2 months AFTER the birth, when she's up every 3 hours, afraid she doesn't know what to do....good times await my friends.

#2, st pats, 08

Gonzo
11-29-2007, 12:43 PM
Over the last couple years I've learned a few things...

1. Don't piss against the wind.

2. Don't try to shove anything up a Panther's ass.

3. GOATSE is a good guy but don't take any advice from him concerning pie, (unless it's blueberry).

PhillyChiefFan
11-29-2007, 12:47 PM
congrats!!!

Mr. Plow
11-29-2007, 12:54 PM
I couldn't agree with Mr. Lundberg more. After 4 children, my advice is:

Early pregnancy (months 1-3)
1. Compliment her appearance - cloths, looks, hair, etc.
2. Tell her how excited you are that she is pregnant with your child.
3. Talk to her about all the fun things you are looking forward to with said child.
4. Take a few things off her plate - errands, cooking, etc.

Mid Pregnancy (months 4-6)
1. Enjoy the horny express.
2. Compliment her ever changing body.
3. Stay out of the way.

Late pregnancy (months 7-9)
1. Do not make eye contact.
2. Do not speak to her unless spoken to first.
3. Do not - UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE - roll her on to her back and watch her try to get up.....all the while laughing at her and saying she looks like a turtle. Bad things happen.
4. Do not dangle food in front of her and then run away. If she can catch you, you are liable to lose an arm.
5. Do not make references to the Marshmallow Man.

The best option for you is to simply avoid her at all costs during the last 3 months.

Mr. Plow
11-29-2007, 12:56 PM
PS....Congrats!

Gonzo
11-29-2007, 12:58 PM
I couldn't agree with Mr. Lundberg more. After 4 children, my advice is:

Early pregnancy (months 1-3)
1. Compliment her appearance - cloths, looks, hair, etc.
2. Tell her how excited you are that she is pregnant with your child.
3. Talk to her about all the fun things you are looking forward to with said child.
4. Take a few things off her plate - errands, cooking, etc.

Mid Pregnancy (months 4-6)
1. Enjoy the horny express.
2. Compliment her ever changing body.
3. Stay out of the way.

Late pregnancy (months 7-9)
1. Do not make eye contact.
2. Do not speak to her unless spoken to first.
3. Do not - UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE - roll her on to her back and watch her try to get up.....all the while laughing at her and saying she looks like a turtle. Bad things happen.
4. Do not dangle food in front of her and then run away. If she can catch you, you are liable to lose an arm.
5. Do not make references to the Marshmallow Man.

The best option for you is to simply avoid her at all costs during the last 3 months.


ROFL ROFL

Now that's good advice!

Mr. Plow
11-29-2007, 01:04 PM
ROFL ROFL

Now that's good advice!

I cannot stress the turtle one enough.

Gonzo
12-13-2007, 09:56 PM
12/13/07

8 weeks in and the "Horny Express" has arrived. The hormones have calmed a bit and it looks as though she may be one of the lucky few to not have morning sickness. Mrs. Gonzo is starting to show a bit and it looks as though I will be one of those sorry bastards holding her purse in the dept. store while she tries on clothes.

We went out to eat at a grease trap restaurant today and she has a healthy appetite. On Tuesday we are going to her second doctors appointment where he will look under the hood and check her oil. Hopefully we will get to hear the heartbeat.

The funbags have gone up another half size as well, that's pretty cool but they are sensitive. She never lets me play "motorboat" anymore...
People keep saying that she is showing more than she should this early so they keep throwing the "Twins" possibility at me. Hopefully those people don't press charges.

Buck
12-13-2007, 09:58 PM
Nice update, congrats man

Bwana
12-13-2007, 09:59 PM
Very cool, congrats bud.

Buehler445
12-13-2007, 10:16 PM
Congrats big Chief!! that's exciting.

ClevelandBronco
12-13-2007, 10:19 PM
You're still a few months away from the "nesting" phase. Enjoy the hell out of that.

Donger
12-13-2007, 10:22 PM
You've no idea what awaits you. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid...

Logical
12-13-2007, 10:57 PM
Congrats, good work. :thumb:

Gonzo
03-14-2008, 08:26 PM
3-14-08

Well,
It's official, the wife and I are having a boy. After many bouts of Hormone-Induced conniption fits, either getting laid, or getting shit thrown at me we finally know what's going on under the proverbial hood.

I'm very excited....I was really hoping for a boy. A girl would have been o.k. though. "As long as it's healthy."

He has a huge schlong too, so I know he takes after his old man. (Giggity)

seclark
03-14-2008, 08:35 PM
He has a huge schlong too, so I know he takes after his old man. (Giggity)

well thanks, but this is no time to talk about me.
sec

Phobia
03-14-2008, 08:36 PM
3-14-08

He has a huge schlong too, so I know he takes after his old man. (Giggity)

You are NOT pinning this on me.

Gonzo
03-14-2008, 08:39 PM
well thanks, but this is no time to talk about me.
sec

You are NOT pinning this on me.


Nice...ROFL

seclark
03-14-2008, 08:41 PM
jeeze...could be a litter of puppies.
sec

Easy 6
03-14-2008, 08:43 PM
Many congrats Gonzo :clap::clap::clap:.

morphius
03-14-2008, 08:59 PM
Congrats man!

Gonzo
03-14-2008, 09:05 PM
Many congrats Gonzo :clap::clap::clap:.

Congrats man!

Thanks Guys.

KCFalcon59
03-14-2008, 09:17 PM
He has a huge schlong too, so I know he takes after his old man. (Giggity)

Psst! Mr. Gonzo, that's the umbilical cord.

Congrats!!!!

Sully
03-14-2008, 09:32 PM
3-14-08

Well,
It's official, the wife and I are having a boy. After many bouts of Hormone-Induced conniption fits, either getting laid, or getting shit thrown at me we finally know what's going on under the proverbial hood.

I'm very excited....I was really hoping for a boy. A girl would have been o.k. though. "As long as it's healthy."

He has a huge schlong too, so I know he takes after his old man. (Giggity)
My wife is due in Spetember. We had always thought we didn't want to know the sex of the baby, but as we get further into this we are rethinking that. What went into your decision to find out?

Buehler445
03-15-2008, 12:18 AM
Congrats!

Halfcan
03-15-2008, 12:53 AM
Congrats!

ClevelandBronco
03-15-2008, 03:45 AM
My wife is due in Spetember. We had always thought we didn't want to know the sex of the baby, but as we get further into this we are rethinking that. What went into your decision to find out?

Don't do it, Sully. We didn't know for either of our first two, and that was a part of the excitement for us. We ended up with a girl then a boy within two years of each other.

On the other hand, seven years after our second one (the boy) was born we were surprised to hear that we were expecting a third. We sure as heck wanted to know what that one would be.

StcChief
03-15-2008, 08:36 AM
Congrats Gonzo.

Iowanian
03-15-2008, 08:39 AM
We're still waiting.

I think she's trying to burn the crust.

evolve27
03-15-2008, 09:22 AM
Congratulations!

Gonzo
03-15-2008, 09:57 AM
My wife is due in Spetember. We had always thought we didn't want to know the sex of the baby, but as we get further into this we are rethinking that. What went into your decision to find out?

We wanted to know what kind of crap to buy while we still had money. :)

Mr. Kotter
03-15-2008, 10:41 AM
Congrats. :toast:

ChiefButthurt
03-15-2008, 11:18 AM
Congrats Gonzo. I wish excellent health to the mom and baby.

Gonzo
05-11-2008, 05:49 PM
Well kiddies, for my 2,000th post, I thought I would give you all an update on Mrs. Gonzo and the youngin'...

She's huge, but looks very pretty. Mrs. Gonzo was 112 lbs. before pregnancy. She's now fighting in middle-weight. The boy is progressing nicely. He has decided that a favorite past time is putting his foot either in her ribcage or on her bladder.

I bought a nice mothers day card for the Mrs. today and of course, the hormones kicked in and she started crying. Other than dealing with that kind of stuff, she's in good spirits.

I've got the crib and nursery about ready to go. You need a BA in engineering to put one of those goddamn things together, but with a little duct tape and super glue it turned out.

Painted the nursery a nice blue, (of course) but was pretty lit on Stella when I did it. The ceiling will need a new coat of white. I think our family is more freaked out than we are. They call all the time asking how she's doing etc. My sister even put her house on the market in Atlanta and is moving up. (Free babysitter on poker night I guess)

We had to change doctors once already. The one we had was a nice guy, (reminded me of Mr. Mackey off of South Park) but his staff was rude during one of her "moments" so that was it.

Actually saw a pic. of the boy's face during the ultrasound recently. He's got a big fuggin head. I don't know how the wife's gonna poop him out. He's in perfect health and so is the Mrs. though.

The due date is July 24th, one day before her 30th B-Day. I have done the "turtle" a couple of times. That's some funny shit right there.
Thanks for all the kind comments. I'll keep you all updated as this progresses!

milkman
05-11-2008, 06:00 PM
Actually saw a pic. of the boy's face during the ultrasound recently. He's got a big fuggin head. I don't know how the wife's gonna poop him out. He's in perfect health and so is the Mrs. though.

Just a little tip.

If she "poops" him out, you got problems.

Gonzo
05-11-2008, 06:05 PM
I lost 3 posts. WTF?

Gonzo
05-11-2008, 06:07 PM
Just a little tip.

If she "poops" him out, you got problems.

Yeah, either the doc went a lil overboard w/ the epeziotomy or she's just really constipated.

Gonzo
05-11-2008, 06:08 PM
OK, 2000 now!

Easy 6
05-11-2008, 06:57 PM
Keep up the good work Gonzo!!!