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View Full Version : HOLY MOTHER OF GOD OF TRISCUITS


Silock
11-14-2007, 12:31 AM
Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil Triscuits are, in fact, a food of the gods.

That is all.

Bump
11-14-2007, 02:28 AM
I may try them just because you said that. I hope I won't be disappointed.

luv
11-14-2007, 02:33 AM
I may try them just because you said that. I hope I won't be disappointed.
You won't be.

BWillie
11-14-2007, 02:35 AM
Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crack.ers I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit "The Man"s in my stomach now, does it Karl?

Haha classic Billy Madison piece...sorry to digress...the thought of delicious triscuits got me thinkin'

luv
11-14-2007, 02:39 AM
Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crack.ers I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit "The Man"s in my stomach now, does it Karl?

Haha classic Billy Madison piece...sorry to digress...the thought of delicious triscuits got me thinkin'
I don't remember two guys named Carl/Karl. :p

BWillie
11-14-2007, 02:58 AM
Apparenly you can't say "c.r.a.c.k.e.r.s" for it must be a racial slur. Look what happens when i try to say...

Triscuit "The Man"s

WTF? but Chiefsplanet allows me to use it when capitalized as Cracker.

So I must formulate my sentences as such. IE- I saw THE CRACKER as opposed to a c.r.a.c.k.e.r

JohninGpt
11-14-2007, 08:37 AM
Apparenly you can't say "c.r.a.c.k.e.r.s" for it must be a racial slur. Look what happens when i try to say...

Triscuit "The Man"s

WTF? but Chiefsplanet allows me to use it when capitalized as Cracker.

So I must formulate my sentences as such. IE- I saw THE CRACKER as opposed to a c.r.a.c.k.e.r
Cool, I wanna try.

I crunched crackers in my soup.

Baby Lee
11-14-2007, 08:39 AM
I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

Crush
11-14-2007, 08:47 AM
cracker

gblowfish
11-14-2007, 09:10 AM
Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil Triscuits are, in fact, a food of the gods.

That is all.

Did you learn about that in your college frat?
http://www.fratbeat.com/soggy.asp

FAX
11-14-2007, 09:39 AM
Triscuits are awesome by any reasonable standard of measure. They are woven, too, which I find remarkable.

When you're feeling blue and out of sorts, run to the store and pick up a viking movie, a nice Cheese Ball, and a box of Triscuits. You'll feel tons better and your poop will oftentimes regularize overnight.

FAX

journeyscarab
11-14-2007, 09:45 AM
I concur.

ottawa_chiefs_fan
11-14-2007, 11:33 AM
Triscuits are awesome by any reasonable standard of measure. They are woven, too, which I find remarkable.

When you're feeling blue and out of sorts, run to the store and pick up a viking movie, a nice Cheese Ball, and a box of Triscuits. You'll feel tons better and your poop will oftentimes regularize overnight.

FAX
Of course you realize that Triscuits are woven by underfed, underpaid children in several Third World countries? I hope you choke on them!!

JohninGpt
11-14-2007, 11:37 AM
Of course you realize that Triscuits are woven by underfed, underpaid children in several Third World countries? I hope you choke on them!!
Sitting with their spindly little legs crossed and their bellies popping out at their little 2" x 2" looms...

Gonzo
11-14-2007, 12:23 PM
Cracker??? ROFL

I like the italian herb ones too. They are really good with a little pepper jack.

Calcountry
11-14-2007, 12:37 PM
Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil Triscuits are, in fact, a food of the gods.

That is all.You forgot to say discuss.

Calcountry
11-14-2007, 12:41 PM
Apparenly you can't say "c.r.a.c.k.e.r.s" for it must be a racial slur. Look what happens when i try to say...

Triscuit "The Man"s

WTF? but Chiefsplanet allows me to use it when capitalized as Cracker.

So I must formulate my sentences as such. IE- I saw THE CRACKER as opposed to a c.r.a.c.k.e.rI like R Lee Ermeys take in the movie
"Full Metal Jacket" on this shit.

Saulbadguy
11-14-2007, 12:45 PM
Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crack.ers I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit "The Man"s in my stomach now, does it Karl?

Haha classic Billy Madison piece...sorry to digress...the thought of delicious triscuits got me thinkin'
Crackers.

Saulbadguy
11-14-2007, 12:46 PM
test. "The Man"s.

JohninGpt
11-14-2007, 01:50 PM
"Animal cracker in my soup, whoop de do and loop de loop..."

Demonpenz
11-14-2007, 02:03 PM
You ain't funky enough for my funky chilli white man cracker

Count Alex's Losses
11-26-2011, 01:51 PM
To the triscuits,

I was looking at your box today, when my eyes were affronted by what I soon deemed to be a most grievous slogan placement. It was as clear as day, presented here in digital form.

http://www.nabiscoworld.com/triscuit/img/logo_weave_some_wonder.jpg

Weave some wonder, you say? Triscuits, triscuits, triscuits. How can I respond?

Fuck you.

Yes, triscuits, I take offense to your package sloganeering. Let us examine the details of this blight upon my Saturday.

First, you invite me to weave. I say! Wot? No, no, no. Where in the blue fuck do you get off thinking I bought your product - A FOODSTUFF - to weave anything? No, sir. I will not be weaving anything, and certainly not YOUR product. I bought it to ingest. Weaving is right out.

Yes, I recognize your product is "weaved" grains, more or less, though we BOTH know no actual weaving goes on at your factory. I can let that go, but inviting me to partake in this activity is an insult.

There will be no weaving, triscuits.

Now there's the matter of this "wonder."

http://i-cdn.apartmenttherapy.com/uimages/kitchen/2010-03-24-Triscuits1.jpg

First off, how does one "weave" wonder? You have mistaken something intangible for something that is completely opposite. You cannot place a gram of wonder upon a godforsaken loom and weave it into a garment, a triscuit, or even a pile of shit.

I can accept the possibility that perhaps you are a company of, or guild, of magical weavers, not unlike the characters in the hit 1990 Lucasarts video game LOOM.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f1/LOOM_Cover_Art.jpg

But I am not, and whether or not you can use your product to tear asunder the fabric of space and time and invite CHAOS into our realm is irrelevant.

http://bulk.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/4439-84102-loomtownsc8png-550x.jpg

I cannot, and will not be weaving ANY wonder, and suspect in fact that such a thing is entirely impossible. Furthermore, I did PAY full retail price for your product, so you asking me to do ANY sort of manual labor with it is ridiculous. Even if I stole it off the shelf I would not be weaving shit with triscuits. I would eat them.

Sincerely,

E. Pluribus Nomine Patris De Smith, PhD

Triscuit eater, and advocate of a weave-free lifestyle.

Okie_Apparition
11-26-2011, 02:02 PM
A tri scuit is probably better than a bi scuit
but still are what fund the evil Jayhawk empire

shirtsleeve
11-26-2011, 02:08 PM
I like the rosemary and olive oil ones best.

DMAC
11-26-2011, 02:09 PM
Just wait until you put some cracked pepper ones on a baking sheet, sprinkle shredded mozarella and cheddar, and put under the broiler for a couple minutes.

Count Alex's Losses
11-26-2011, 02:11 PM
Just wait until you put some cracked pepper ones on a baking sheet, sprinkle shredded mozarella and cheddar, and put under the broiler for a couple minutes.

http://bulk.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/4439-84102-loomtownsc8png-550x.jpg

OnTheWarpath58
11-26-2011, 02:31 PM
"The Man" Jacks.

Still my favorite.

Gonzo
11-26-2011, 02:45 PM
Triscuits with olive-oil and cracked pepper are good by themselves however, put a square of monterey-jack and a small piece of smoked salmon on them and it's like your mouth just had an orgasm...
I shit you not.
Posted via Mobile Device

R8RFAN
11-26-2011, 02:48 PM
Triscuits, Pickled Jalapenos & Cheeze Whiz


Try it

Pitt Gorilla
11-26-2011, 02:48 PM
Chili pepper Triscuits are great as well. The rosemary/olive oil and roasted garlic are yummy too.

R8RFAN
11-26-2011, 02:49 PM
Triscuits with olive-oil and cracked pepper are good by themselves however, put a square of monterey-jack and a small piece of smoked salmon on them and it's like your mouth just had an orgasm...
I shit you not.
Posted via Mobile Device

Or smoked salmon and cream cheese...

Smoked Salmon kicks ass

Nickel D
11-26-2011, 02:51 PM
Sounds like someone cracked Pepper using olive oil and then thoroughly enjoyed their dining experience.

shirtsleeve
11-26-2011, 02:52 PM
The rosemary with a basil leaf tomato slice and mozz is good, or with pesto, bruschetta and sharp provolone

Count Alex's Losses
11-26-2011, 02:52 PM
Sounds like someone cracked Pepper using olive oil and then thoroughly enjoyed their dining experience.

http://bulk.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/4439-84102-loomtownsc8png-550x.jpg

aturnis
11-26-2011, 05:26 PM
Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil Triscuits are, in fact, a food of the gods.

That is all.

That's what I've been saying...

listopencil
11-26-2011, 06:43 PM
OK, fuck that. I'm not going to take the time to put some shit on a God damned cracker. I have things to do.

listopencil
11-26-2011, 06:45 PM
I'd eat some strawberry jam off of this cracker though:

http://img369.imageshack.us/img369/7448/kirstygallacherhqdubaiwkj8.jpg

GloryDayz
11-26-2011, 06:54 PM
Triscuits are awesome by any reasonable standard of measure. They are woven, too, which I find remarkable.

When you're feeling blue and out of sorts, run to the store and pick up a viking movie, a nice Cheese Ball, and a box of Triscuits. You'll feel tons better and your poop will oftentimes regularize overnight.

FAX

If you're shitting, you're good.... If you're dabbing, you're not so good!!

JoeyChuckles
11-26-2011, 10:37 PM
I'm still trying to figure out the cracker thing.

Nope, still can't get it.

Silock
11-27-2011, 12:42 AM
Good Christ... I posted this 4 years ago?

Guru
11-27-2011, 01:29 AM
I like the wheat thins version better

R8RFAN
11-27-2011, 10:10 AM
I'd eat some strawberry jam off of this cracker though:

http://img369.imageshack.us/img369/7448/kirstygallacherhqdubaiwkj8.jpg


I would butter her butt and call her a biscuit

GloryDayz
11-27-2011, 10:20 AM
I can't wait to go shopping today!!!