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View Full Version : Not much of a craftsman but I'm pretty proud of this...


pr_capone
11-19-2007, 10:54 PM
We installed a doggy door but fat-ass, our 10 yr old wiener dog, can't make it to the door itself when going from out to in. So.... I built her a ramp today. Took me about 3 hours from design to completed product.

I used scraps from the fence we just put up to build it.

Front View
http://img161.imageshack.us/img161/4277/pict0066ig1.jpg

Side View
http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/5597/pict0067wb9.jpg

Just going to lay down some sand paper tommorow so she can get some grip and actually make it up the ramp. :D

Taco John
11-19-2007, 10:57 PM
What year is your camaro?

pr_capone
11-19-2007, 10:58 PM
What year is your camaro?

?

Bacon Cheeseburger
11-19-2007, 11:00 PM
It would've only taken you a few seconds to fill up a bowl with antifreeze.

pr_capone
11-19-2007, 11:02 PM
Kidding me? The missus would kill me. :D

Phobia
11-19-2007, 11:03 PM
You're right. You're no craftsman.

KcMizzou
11-19-2007, 11:04 PM
I woulda just put the doggy door lower.

:D

Phobia
11-19-2007, 11:05 PM
I woulda just put the doggy door lower.

:D

Heh. I've done stupid stuff before.

TinyEvel
11-19-2007, 11:06 PM
Why didn't you just mount the door lower?

just askin'

Phobia
11-19-2007, 11:07 PM
You're right. You're no craftsman.
I apologize. I can't expect everybody to be brilliant. You probably did that with a handsaw and roofing nails, huh? My early projects looked like that as well. Buy some decent tools and keep at it.

Bacon Cheeseburger
11-19-2007, 11:07 PM
Just out of curiosity, why did you install the doggie-door six inches above the floor to begin with?

RJ
11-19-2007, 11:07 PM
I woulda just put the doggy door lower.

:D


Or get a taller dog.


Actually, I admire the work. I'm not particularly handy with those type projects so ingenuity always impresses me.

Phobia
11-19-2007, 11:10 PM
I really need to know what that grey stuff is there at the apex of the ramp. Is that putty?

pr_capone
11-19-2007, 11:11 PM
The doggy door is mounted 6 inches above the floor on the inside where it is supposed to be. lol

The house sits on a slab so I had to improvise. :D

Phobia
11-19-2007, 11:12 PM
Seriously though, in 3 hours I could have driven to Wichita, put that thing together, and driven home with 20 minutes to spare. You should hire me next time.

pr_capone
11-19-2007, 11:13 PM
I really need to know what that grey stuff is there at the apex of the ramp. Is that putty?

No... its my piss poor craftsmanship. lol

The grey stuff is wood.... it is the inside of weather treated fence paneling.

It really is the best I could do with the tools I had available. :(

Phobia
11-19-2007, 11:13 PM
The doggy door is mounted 6 inches above the floor on the inside where it is supposed to be. lol

The house sits on a slab so I had to improvise. :D

Not it's not, not unless the screen door is mounted 4 inches below the slab. You're talking to pros here. I know these things.

pr_capone
11-19-2007, 11:15 PM
Seriously though, in 3 hours I could have driven to Wichita, put that thing together, and driven home with 20 minutes to spare. You should hire me next time.

Damn... you guys sure know how to make a guy feel good. :deevee:

It might be easy for you bud but I am not a handy man in any way shape or form.... my talents lay elsewhere.

On the other hand, give me a completely disassembled computer and I'll have it up and running in no time.

Phobia
11-19-2007, 11:16 PM
I'm kidding. It takes 2.5 hours to drive to Wichita.

TinyEvel
11-19-2007, 11:17 PM
Damn... you guys sure know how to make a guy feel good. :deevee:

It might be easy for you bud but I am not a handy man in any way shape or form.... my talents lay elsewhere.

On the other hand, give me a completely disassembled computer and I'll have it up and running in no time.


Dude, I think you did a great job.

f*ck these critical know-it-all's

:thumb:

Bacon Cheeseburger
11-19-2007, 11:18 PM
No... its my piss poor craftsmanship. lol

The grey stuff is wood.... it is the inside of weather treated fence paneling.

It really is the best I could do with the tools I had available. :(
Believe me, I know the feeling. I've done so much with so little for so long, I can now do anything with nothing.

pr_capone
11-19-2007, 11:20 PM
Not it's not, not unless the screen door is mounted 4 inches below the slab. You're talking to pros here. I know these things.

Yes it is *sigh*

Sprite bottle as a point of reference

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/5017/pict0068bk5.jpg

a1na2
11-19-2007, 11:21 PM
The bigger question is: Does the dog use the door and ramp?

If the dog uses it, the purpose is achieved. You do know that when the dog gets a little older you might need to add rails to meet OSHA requirements, you don't the dog to sue you if he/she falls off the ramp! Remember .... safety first!

Phobia is right about one thing. Buy good tools to do the job. Over the years I've been adding to my tool assortment. I plan on doing as much of the finish work on our new home as I can and you gotta have the right tools.

pr_capone
11-19-2007, 11:24 PM
The bigger question is: Does the dog use the door and ramp?

My dog uses the ramp and door... the other one will use the door to get out but slides off the ramp when she tries to go back in.

That is why I will be putting down sandpaper.... give her some grip to make it up the ramp.

Phobia is right about one thing. Buy good tools to do the job. Over the years I've been adding to my tool assortment. I plan on doing as much of the finish work on our new home as I can and you gotta have the right tools.

I plan to..... but TBH, I don't even know where to begin to add my my miniscule tool collection. lol

pr_capone
11-19-2007, 11:25 PM
I apologize. I can't expect everybody to be brilliant. You probably did that with a handsaw and roofing nails, huh? My early projects looked like that as well. Buy some decent tools and keep at it.

I actually purchased deck screws for this.

babymama
11-20-2007, 12:07 AM
i bet that addition doubles the value of your trailer.

ClevelandBronco
11-20-2007, 12:21 AM
i bet that addition doubles the value of your trailer.

You registered in July on a pro football board and waited for this thread to register post #1 in November? Smack about a weekend handyman job?

You're one strange mama.

KcMizzou
11-20-2007, 12:27 AM
You registered in July on a pro football board and waited for this thread to register post #1 in November? Smack about a weekend handyman job?

You're one strange mama.It really does take all kinds...

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 12:51 AM
Jeez..... I never claimed to be Bob f00kin Villa here.

KcMizzou
11-20-2007, 12:53 AM
Jeez..... I never claimed to be Bob f00kin Villa here.Can you be Bob Ross?

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 12:55 AM
Can you be Bob Ross?

I was thinking about painting a happy little bush here and there on the ramp. :D

I'd prolly f00k it up though. I should hire Phobia.... I hear that guy is the shit.

luv
11-20-2007, 12:57 AM
I should hire Phobia.... I hear that guy is the shit.
Just ask him. He'll tell ya.

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 12:59 AM
Just ask him. He'll tell ya.

LOL

Don't really need to... he has said so himself about 5 times in this thread alone.

Phobia
11-20-2007, 01:05 AM
Just ask him. He'll tell ya.
Actually, I suck.

luv
11-20-2007, 01:06 AM
Actually, I suck.
You're just fishing for a compliment. Not gonna happen. :harumph:

:p

Phobia
11-20-2007, 01:07 AM
You're just fishing for a compliment. Not gonna happen. :harumph:

:p

No, I really do suck. I'm only about half as good as I claim.

Ari Chi3fs
11-20-2007, 01:08 AM
i bet that addition doubles the value of your trailer.

that was the funniest thing I have read on here in a long time, and its their first post. awesome.

luv
11-20-2007, 01:09 AM
No, I really do suck. I'm only about half as good as I claim.
That still leaves room for you to be really good.

Valiant
11-20-2007, 01:12 AM
No, I really do suck. I'm only about half as good as I claim.


You know some woman whose name started with the letter P said the same thing.. lol

blueballs
11-20-2007, 01:31 AM
the poor dog is going to need skis
in a couple of months

blueballs
11-20-2007, 01:33 AM
nail some thin strips of wood for grip on that ramp

HMc
11-20-2007, 03:31 AM
nice healthy lawn you've got there

Simplex3
11-20-2007, 06:06 AM
I woulda just put the doggy door lower.

:D
Realizing that it's a slab house, I still have to make this joke:

He didn't want to let the air out of the tires enough to lower his house that far.

Simplex3
11-20-2007, 06:13 AM
On a side note, don't put sandpaper on there. The dog will hate it and might even quit using it altogether. Additionally it will rot and wear off in a month or two and won't do jack s**t in the winter.

They have several products at your local hardware store specifically for giving a surface traction.

penguinz
11-20-2007, 06:19 AM
Damn... you guys sure know how to make a guy feel good. :deevee:

It might be easy for you bud but I am not a handy man in any way shape or form.... my talents lay elsewhere.

On the other hand, give me a completely disassembled computer and I'll have it up and running in no time.
I can assemble that computer, build that ramp and still be able to watch the last 3 quarters of the football game. ;)

the Talking Can
11-20-2007, 06:21 AM
so does your dog just fall out the other side like a hot dog coming off a production line?

sounds like a youtube vid

Skip Towne
11-20-2007, 06:28 AM
Phobia could have made that ramp cost $5000.

DaKCMan AP
11-20-2007, 06:43 AM
I'm not sure the slope of the ramp meets OSHA requirements.

JohninGpt
11-20-2007, 07:13 AM
My dog uses the ramp and door... the other one will use the door to get out but slides off the ramp when she tries to go back in.

That is why I will be putting down sandpaper.... give her some grip to make it up the ramp.
Make your middle supports shorter creating one long, but more shallow incline. That should allow Fatass to climb it without sandpaper or nonskid.

Baby Lee
11-20-2007, 07:16 AM
http://www.mydoggysteps.com/

HonestChieffan
11-20-2007, 07:18 AM
Looks like you should apply for the job designing the new Interstate Bridge in Minneapolis. You did good. Screw em if they dont like your dog ramp.

Chiefs_Mike_Topeka
11-20-2007, 07:29 AM
Believe me, I know the feeling. I've done so much with so little for so long, I can now do anything with nothing.


Your no Herm Edwards.

tooge
11-20-2007, 08:34 AM
I'm no construction guru here, but why not just a small box or a step? Seems like it would have been easier. Oh, and there is nothing wrong with a trailer. Is that a doublewide?

chasedude
11-20-2007, 08:45 AM
I'm not sure the slope of the ramp meets OSHA requirements.

Don't forget to get he building permit from your local gov't otherwise they make you tear it down.

chasedude
11-20-2007, 08:47 AM
http://www.mydoggysteps.com/


LMAO The old guy in the video "He can jump pretty well with those short legs but he can't quite jump into bed"

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 09:04 AM
nice healthy lawn you've got there

We just moved in a month ago.... we have not had time to do anything with the Bermuda grass that was already there.

TBH, not sure we will either.

a1na2
11-20-2007, 09:04 AM
Phobia could have made that ramp cost $5000.

Probably more with the right type of non-skid for the puppy pads.

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 09:05 AM
http://www.mydoggysteps.com/

We tried steps before. Fatass flat out refused to use them.

Damn stubborn dog.

smittysbar
11-20-2007, 09:08 AM
I gues if it gets the job done.

If you ever decide to build a deck.....please for the safty of your family, hire someone. lol

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 09:10 AM
I'm no construction guru here, but why not just a small box or a step? Seems like it would have been easier. Oh, and there is nothing wrong with a trailer. Is that a doublewide?

The home was built in 1950.... and it does have green grass lol

http://media.point2.com/p2a/listing/a789/88d5/12b3/056a18e5f5484dacc739/w210h157.jpg

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 09:11 AM
I gues if it gets the job done.

If you ever decide to build a deck.....please for the safty of your family, hire someone. lol

LMFAO

no brainer

ROYC75
11-20-2007, 09:24 AM
Actually, I suck.

Refrences ?

Goatboy
Denverchief

Just asking , OK !

DenverChief
11-20-2007, 09:25 AM
and now these words

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla., Nov. 13 A Florida man died after getting stuck in a cat door while apparently trying to sneak into his girlfriend's house after she kicked him out.

Officers said when they found Charles Tucker Jr., 32, in the cat door Saturday morning in the St. Augustine, Fla., house, it was not their first encounter with him.

Police said that on Friday they found him slumped over the wheel of his car. He was taken to the hospital and released, according to WJXT in Jacksonville, Fla.

Witnesses said they believe Tucker might have passed out and died since there was no sign of a struggle and his girlfriend was inside and would have heard him, the station reported.

The cause of death hasn't been determined pending autopsy results.


http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/141369.html

ROYC75
11-20-2007, 09:28 AM
Just nail down some 1x2 strips for him, he'll thank you with a doggie kiss, the sandpaper will rub his paws down and sharpen his nails.

John_Wayne
11-20-2007, 10:03 AM
I can't see those pics. All I see is a red X. And I REALLY want to see them.

Maybe you should have just jacked the house up 6 inches?

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 10:06 AM
I can't see those pics. All I see is a red X. And I REALLY want to see them.

Maybe you should have just jacked the house up 6 inches?

If you were hoping to see a board propped up with 2 sticks you will be sorely dissapointed. Or not... LOL

As for jacking up the house..... then I would have needed a much bigger ramp. :p

a1na2
11-20-2007, 10:22 AM
LMFAO

no brainer

Actually a good DIY book will tell you what tools you need and what supplies you need to do it yourself.

You can do it and you can save money doing it.

ottawa_chiefs_fan
11-20-2007, 10:25 AM
The best thing about this project is that when you are finished with it, you can cut a trap door in it and sell it to Mike Vick when he is released as a hangdog's gallows.

StcChief
11-20-2007, 10:27 AM
We installed a doggy door but fat-ass, our 10 yr old wiener dog, can't make it to the door itself when going from out to in. So.... I built her a ramp today. Took me about 3 hours from design to completed product.

I used scraps from the fence we just put up to build it.

Front View
http://img161.imageshack.us/img161/4277/pict0066ig1.jpg

Side View
http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/5597/pict0067wb9.jpg

Just going to lay down some sand paper tommorow so she can get some grip and actually make it up the ramp. :D
Put on some side rails so the fat dog doesn't fall this winter onto concrete....

morphius
11-20-2007, 10:32 AM
I was hoping that you had found a way to utilize a trebuchet to help the dog enter the house.

Wile_E_Coyote
11-20-2007, 10:33 AM
I reckon you could have put a doggie door in the people door. Don't know about doggie door screen doors though

catfish307
11-20-2007, 01:35 PM
Don't use sandpaper it will rot. get your dog some little doggy golf shoes for this winter. But first make a sign and hang above the door to remind her to take them off before entering.

StcChief
11-20-2007, 01:41 PM
Don't use sandpaper it will rot. get your dog some little doggy golf shoes for this winter. But first make a sign and hang above the door to remind her to take them off before entering.
Go with th staple on rubber grippers.... all this for dog wow.

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 01:41 PM
I reckon you could have put a doggie door in the people door. Don't know about doggie door screen doors though

We thought about that but I did not want to spend another $70 on another doggy door for the screen door.

Not only that but if we had, the Heeler would have been able to manage it no problem but the wiener dog with its stubby legs prolly could not.

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 01:43 PM
Go with th staple on rubber grippers.... all this for dog wow.

That is where I am leaning to now. Did not think about the sand paper rotting off.

All this? It really was not that big of a deal. Its only my second time working with wood to build something so I rather enjoyed it.

Not only that but the wife would not have left me alone until I had done something for her dog to get in and out as she pleases.

Really though... better than having the old girl piss and shit everywhere.

HonestChieffan
11-20-2007, 01:48 PM
How do you keep some kill crazed pitbull running in your neighborhood from coming into your house?

Lzen
11-20-2007, 01:49 PM
That is why I will be putting down sandpaper.... give her some grip to make it up the ramp.

I have some of this that you can have.

ClevelandBronco
11-20-2007, 01:49 PM
...Not only that but the wife would not have left me alone until I had done something for her dog to get in and out as she pleases.

Really though... better than having the old girl piss and shit everywhere.

I assume you're talking about the dog and not your wife.

Wives that p*** and s*** everywhere are generally not accepted in good company.

Phobia
11-20-2007, 01:50 PM
You could use emory cloth for the sandpaper. It won't rot off. At least not anytime soon.

HonestChieffan
11-20-2007, 01:52 PM
I assume you're talking about the dog and not your wife.

Wives that p*** and s*** everywhere are generally not accepted in good company.


You owe me for a keyboard cleaning. Spitting coffee through my nose is high praise for this post. Huzzah.

catfish307
11-20-2007, 01:53 PM
That is where I am leaning to now. Did not think about the sand paper rotting off.

All this? It really was not that big of a deal. Its only my second time working with wood to build something so I rather enjoyed it.

Not only that but the wife would not have left me alone until I had done something for her dog to get in and out as she pleases.

Really though... better than having the old girl piss and shit everywhere.

I would have just bought some doggy Depends and screw puttin in the door.

HemiEd
11-20-2007, 01:59 PM
Jeez..... I never claimed to be Bob f00kin Villa here.

ROFL I needed this thread today.

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 02:00 PM
How do you keep some kill crazed pitbull running in your neighborhood from coming into your house?

Erm.... the fence?

I have some of this that you can have.

I appreciate it! But alas.... this needs to be installed tonight so unless you live in Wichita, it won't work.

Really though... MANY thanks for the offer.

I assume you're talking about the dog and not your wife.

Wives that p*** and s*** everywhere are generally not accepted in good company.

LMFAO

Yeah.... the dog.

You could use emory cloth for the sandpaper. It won't rot off. At least not anytime soon.

I'll take a look... thanks!

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 02:01 PM
I would have just bought some doggy Depends and screw puttin in the door.

Well... I'm not really into changing a dog's diaper, but if you are... then more power to you. :p

Skip Towne
11-20-2007, 02:02 PM
That ramp is better than I could do. I would have gotten a couple of buckets of dirt and made a little doggy hill.

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 02:05 PM
ROFL I needed this thread today.

Glad I could be of service to you. :D

That ramp is better than I could do. I would have gotten a couple of buckets of dirt and made a little doggy hill.

Thanks Skip!

ottawa_chiefs_fan
11-20-2007, 02:35 PM
now approaching the mythical 100 post count - whoda thunk it?

I'm thinking a small roof, a la some of the beautiful covered bridges in the northeast (and Quebec) in case it is raining and she can stay dry under the roof and just sh1t down the ramp?

MIAdragon
11-20-2007, 02:47 PM
Damn man people are really ripping into you for this!? While I wouldn’t put that in front of my house I’ve got to give you props for two things. First for actually trying to build something. Second for posting pictures of it here, takes some guts.

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 02:53 PM
Damn man people are really ripping into you for this!? While I wouldn’t put that in front of my house I’ve got to give you props for two things. First for actually trying to build something. Second for posting pictures of it here, takes some guts.

LOL

Its in the back of the house in a fenced in yard.... not a soul aside from people we invite into the back yard can see it. :D

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 02:54 PM
now approaching the mythical 100 post count - whoda thunk it?

I'm thinking a small roof, a la some of the beautiful covered bridges in the northeast (and Quebec) in case it is raining and she can stay dry under the roof and just sh1t down the ramp?

I am actually surprised myself.... I did not think this thread would garner this much attention.

ottawa_chiefs_fan
11-20-2007, 02:57 PM
Damn man people are really ripping into you for this!? While I wouldn’t put that in front of my house I’ve got to give you props for two things. First for actually trying to build something. Second for posting pictures of it here, takes some guts.
I don't think anyone is ripping him...we are just having a few laughs and some fun - I am sure he is man enuff to take it - he seems to be so far....

Donger
11-20-2007, 02:58 PM
What year is your camaro?

Ouch.

I saw a Camaro a few weeks ago that had huge rear and tiny front tires, and a paint job with flames. I looked at it and said to myself, "I haven't seen on of those since I lived in KC." As it passed me, I looked at the license plate and started laughing hysterically.

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 03:02 PM
I don't think anyone is ripping him...we are just having a few laughs and some fun - I am sure he is man enuff to take it - he seems to be so far....

Meh.... I can take it.

Being laughed with is not a problem.... being laughed at is something completely different. :D

Can't have a thin skin and be a planeteer. lol

Stewie
11-20-2007, 03:07 PM
That reminds me of my 7th grade attempt to build my Evel Knievel ramp. Worked 'til it broke.

HemiEd
11-20-2007, 03:10 PM
Ouch.

I saw a Camaro a few weeks ago that had huge rear and tiny front tires, and a paint job with flames. I looked at it and said to myself, "I haven't seen on of those since I lived in KC." As it passed me, I looked at the license plate and started laughing hysterically.

Missouri or Kansas plates?

Donger
11-20-2007, 03:16 PM
Missouri or Kansas plates?

Missouri.

ClevelandBronco
11-20-2007, 03:18 PM
Missouri or Kansas plates?

Could have been Ohio.

StcChief
11-20-2007, 03:43 PM
Missouri.If it had a SuperCharger coming outta the hood. and MO plates "BLOWN" he's from around St.C.

HemiEd
11-20-2007, 03:50 PM
Missouri.
ROFL

HemiEd
11-20-2007, 03:51 PM
Could have been Ohio.

Or Indiana.

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 03:52 PM
Prolly Oklahoma though

pr_capone
11-20-2007, 03:53 PM
Come to think about it though.... I bet it was from Rhode Island.

Bunch a hicks is what they are

Skip Towne
11-20-2007, 03:54 PM
Did it have a rear spoiler made of 2X6's?

Bacon Cheeseburger
11-20-2007, 03:57 PM
I am actually surprised myself.... I did not think this thread would garner this much attention.
I think any thread that's not about Chiefs football sounds pretty interesting right now.

BigVE
11-20-2007, 04:06 PM
I think the fact that this thread is still alive and has so many posts says alot....pr_capone sucks as a carpenter and even if Bob F'n Villa built something and posted a picture of it it would be dissected and roasted by this board.

Good job capone. It was cheap and did the job....add some duct tape to the surface of the ramp for grip and its good to go!

BIG_DADDY
11-20-2007, 04:13 PM
LMAO

Calcountry
11-20-2007, 04:27 PM
I'm kidding. It takes 2.5 hours to drive to Wichita.I know that drive. The Turnpike is nice though, smooth, and very few cars on it.

I made great time and comepletely bypassed Wichita though. If the traffic has progressed from 20 years ago, I didn't want to go anywhere near the 54 inside of Wichita.

morphius
11-20-2007, 07:03 PM
I think any thread that's not about Chiefs football sounds pretty interesting right now.
So you are wanting more Cornhusker threads?

BigRedChief
11-18-2012, 07:25 PM
Bumping this glorious thread that many missed the first time around.

ChiefsNow
11-18-2012, 08:01 PM
The weiner dog factory is still open?

lewdog
11-18-2012, 09:20 PM
I always knew that pr_capone guy liked wieners and tramps.....or was that ramps?

Pawnmower
11-18-2012, 09:25 PM
Did you get a lot of participation ribbons in school?

DaneMcCloud
11-18-2012, 09:27 PM
Did you get a lot of participation ribbons in school?

His parents hired the local pilot to fly a banner over his house

:evil:

KcMizzou
11-18-2012, 09:58 PM
Ah, the dog ramp. This is a classic.

ekf028
12-21-2012, 06:55 PM
Why not some doggy steps instead?

Mr. Wizard
12-21-2012, 08:41 PM
Mostly a lurker here, but that made me laugh. We too have a weiner dog named ernie who thinks he is a badass. Would take on a lion any time and not back down. But I digress, the reason I am replying is to tell you our pet door story from hell. About 10 years ago we had a cat named calvin, he was neutered which seemed for some reason to attract male cats by droves. I installed a pet door for him in our new house and thought all was well. One day I came home during the day to get something I forgot and had a strange feeling upon entering our bedroom. After kneeling down and looking under the bed I saw a set of glowing eyes about 4 inches apart accompanied by a growl that made my testicles seek safe harbor.
It was not calvin but a huge black tomcat who had utilized our pet door. I manned up and got some personal protective equipment, namely my housecoat, welding gloves and my wives blanket. (to wrap the bastard in ) I lunged for him and he ripped a hole in my welding gloves and grabbed the belt to my housecoat as he ran by.
I was pissed and now my testicles were back in their rightful place and prepared for battle. He ran to the dining room and leaped out the picture window, only the window was closed and had an inside screen which he ripped for several feet as gravity overcame his escape.
I screamed at him and he took off and ended up, after taking the scenic route through several rooms in the house, in the bathroom. I slammed the door and finally had him !!!
Only, I didnt. I still had to capture my prey. So I took the pet carrier, wifes blanket and beltless housecoat and quickly entered the lions den. I slammed the door behind me in full warrior mode, it was him or me. Suddenly I looked up and that fuc-er was perched on the shower curtian rod, I shit you not. Suddenly my testicles once again ran for cover and i had no idea how to retreat , so, in moment of girls fear or manly rage I threw my wifes blanket at him, screamed and charged. He jumped in the shower and I jumped on him, shower curtian, rod and all.
Finally, I had him somewhere in that melee and I stuffed it all, minus the rod in the pet carrier. I then placed the carrier on the porch and called the city pound.
I then went back to work safe in the thought that the world was safe from that black mountian lion.
When I got home the bastard was sitting across the street staring at me and the carrier was closed on the porch with the blanket and shredded shower curtian neatly folded on top.
There was a note pinned to my mailbox that said, "I dont know if you know it or not but that cat is not nice. Sorry he got loose, the pound".
End of pet door.

mikey23545
12-21-2012, 09:08 PM
Mostly a lurker here, but that made me laugh. We too have a weiner dog named ernie who thinks he is a badass. Would take on a lion any time and not back down. But I digress, the reason I am replying is to tell you our pet door story from hell. About 10 years ago we had a cat named calvin, he was neutered which seemed for some reason to attract male cats by droves. I installed a pet door for him in our new house and thought all was well. One day I came home during the day to get something I forgot and had a strange feeling upon entering our bedroom. After kneeling down and looking under the bed I saw a set of glowing eyes about 4 inches apart accompanied by a growl that made my testicles seek safe harbor.
It was not calvin but a huge black tomcat who had utilized our pet door. I manned up and got some personal protective equipment, namely my housecoat, welding gloves and my wives blanket. (to wrap the bastard in ) I lunged for him and he ripped a hole in my welding gloves and grabbed the belt to my housecoat as he ran by.
I was pissed and now my testicles were back in their rightful place and prepared for battle. He ran to the dining room and leaped out the picture window, only the window was closed and had an inside screen which he ripped for several feet as gravity overcame his escape.
I screamed at him and he took off and ended up, after taking the scenic route through several rooms in the house, in the bathroom. I slammed the door and finally had him !!!
Only, I didnt. I still had to capture my prey. So I took the pet carrier, wifes blanket and beltless housecoat and quickly entered the lions den. I slammed the door behind me in full warrior mode, it was him or me. Suddenly I looked up and that fuc-er was perched on the shower curtian rod, I shit you not. Suddenly my testicles once again ran for cover and i had no idea how to retreat , so, in moment of girls fear or manly rage I threw my wifes blanket at him, screamed and charged. He jumped in the shower and I jumped on him, shower curtian, rod and all.
Finally, I had him somewhere in that melee and I stuffed it all, minus the rod in the pet carrier. I then placed the carrier on the porch and called the city pound.
I then went back to work safe in the thought that the world was safe from that black mountian lion.
When I got home the bastard was sitting across the street staring at me and the carrier was closed on the porch with the blanket and shredded shower curtian neatly folded on top.
There was a note pinned to my mailbox that said, "I dont know if you know it or not but that cat is not nice. Sorry he got loose, the pound".
End of pet door.

LMAO

pr_capone
12-21-2012, 09:11 PM
Mostly a lurker here, but that made me laugh. We too have a weiner dog named ernie who thinks he is a badass. Would take on a lion any time and not back down. But I digress, the reason I am replying is to tell you our pet door story from hell. About 10 years ago we had a cat named calvin, he was neutered which seemed for some reason to attract male cats by droves. I installed a pet door for him in our new house and thought all was well. One day I came home during the day to get something I forgot and had a strange feeling upon entering our bedroom. After kneeling down and looking under the bed I saw a set of glowing eyes about 4 inches apart accompanied by a growl that made my testicles seek safe harbor.
It was not calvin but a huge black tomcat who had utilized our pet door. I manned up and got some personal protective equipment, namely my housecoat, welding gloves and my wives blanket. (to wrap the bastard in ) I lunged for him and he ripped a hole in my welding gloves and grabbed the belt to my housecoat as he ran by.
I was pissed and now my testicles were back in their rightful place and prepared for battle. He ran to the dining room and leaped out the picture window, only the window was closed and had an inside screen which he ripped for several feet as gravity overcame his escape.
I screamed at him and he took off and ended up, after taking the scenic route through several rooms in the house, in the bathroom. I slammed the door and finally had him !!!
Only, I didnt. I still had to capture my prey. So I took the pet carrier, wifes blanket and beltless housecoat and quickly entered the lions den. I slammed the door behind me in full warrior mode, it was him or me. Suddenly I looked up and that fuc-er was perched on the shower curtian rod, I shit you not. Suddenly my testicles once again ran for cover and i had no idea how to retreat , so, in moment of girls fear or manly rage I threw my wifes blanket at him, screamed and charged. He jumped in the shower and I jumped on him, shower curtian, rod and all.
Finally, I had him somewhere in that melee and I stuffed it all, minus the rod in the pet carrier. I then placed the carrier on the porch and called the city pound.
I then went back to work safe in the thought that the world was safe from that black mountian lion.
When I got home the bastard was sitting across the street staring at me and the carrier was closed on the porch with the blanket and shredded shower curtian neatly folded on top.
There was a note pinned to my mailbox that said, "I dont know if you know it or not but that cat is not nice. Sorry he got loose, the pound".
End of pet door.

LMAO

pr_capone
12-21-2012, 09:12 PM
Why not some doggy steps instead?

you kidding me? it would have looked like something designed by M.C. Escher.

Rain Man
12-21-2012, 09:14 PM
Sweet ramp, man. I bet your dog gets, like, three feet of air.

Ace Gunner
12-21-2012, 09:23 PM
weinerdogs for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ace Gunner
12-21-2012, 09:24 PM
Bumping this glorious thread that many missed the first time around.

so why o why did you not nominate this damn thing.

Rain Man
12-21-2012, 09:34 PM
Nice story, Mr. Wizard. And it's even funnier because the cat would've run out the door if you had opened it.

pr_capone
12-21-2012, 09:39 PM
Sweet ramp, man. I bet your dog gets, like, three feet of air.

Yeah... I've taken my daschund off some sweet jumps.

KcMizzou
12-21-2012, 10:39 PM
Oh, damn. Blast from the past.

Cannibal
12-21-2012, 10:41 PM
Mostly a lurker here, but that made me laugh. We too have a weiner dog named ernie who thinks he is a badass. Would take on a lion any time and not back down. But I digress, the reason I am replying is to tell you our pet door story from hell. About 10 years ago we had a cat named calvin, he was neutered which seemed for some reason to attract male cats by droves. I installed a pet door for him in our new house and thought all was well. One day I came home during the day to get something I forgot and had a strange feeling upon entering our bedroom. After kneeling down and looking under the bed I saw a set of glowing eyes about 4 inches apart accompanied by a growl that made my testicles seek safe harbor.
It was not calvin but a huge black tomcat who had utilized our pet door. I manned up and got some personal protective equipment, namely my housecoat, welding gloves and my wives blanket. (to wrap the bastard in ) I lunged for him and he ripped a hole in my welding gloves and grabbed the belt to my housecoat as he ran by.
I was pissed and now my testicles were back in their rightful place and prepared for battle. He ran to the dining room and leaped out the picture window, only the window was closed and had an inside screen which he ripped for several feet as gravity overcame his escape.
I screamed at him and he took off and ended up, after taking the scenic route through several rooms in the house, in the bathroom. I slammed the door and finally had him !!!
Only, I didnt. I still had to capture my prey. So I took the pet carrier, wifes blanket and beltless housecoat and quickly entered the lions den. I slammed the door behind me in full warrior mode, it was him or me. Suddenly I looked up and that fuc-er was perched on the shower curtian rod, I shit you not. Suddenly my testicles once again ran for cover and i had no idea how to retreat , so, in moment of girls fear or manly rage I threw my wifes blanket at him, screamed and charged. He jumped in the shower and I jumped on him, shower curtian, rod and all.
Finally, I had him somewhere in that melee and I stuffed it all, minus the rod in the pet carrier. I then placed the carrier on the porch and called the city pound.
I then went back to work safe in the thought that the world was safe from that black mountian lion.
When I got home the bastard was sitting across the street staring at me and the carrier was closed on the porch with the blanket and shredded shower curtian neatly folded on top.
There was a note pinned to my mailbox that said, "I dont know if you know it or not but that cat is not nice. Sorry he got loose, the pound".
End of pet door.

Awesome story. Despite the cat being a total a hole, I hope things ended well for it. I'm a cat dude.

rtmike
12-21-2012, 10:44 PM
You're gonna have to make some improvements before I ever use that ramp. :harumph:

Phobia
12-21-2012, 10:51 PM
You're gonna have to make some improvements before I ever use that ramp. :harumph:

You're gonna have to get some limbs lopped off before you can use that door.

bevischief
12-22-2012, 07:10 AM
My oldest basset wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole. She is blind in one eye.

PRIEST
12-22-2012, 07:41 AM
You're gonna have to get some limbs lopped off before you can use that door.





This :)

Phobia
12-22-2012, 10:21 AM
My oldest basset wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole. She is blind in one eye.

But she still manages to carry a 10' pole around?

|Zach|
12-22-2012, 11:08 AM
You're gonna have to make some improvements before I ever use that ramp. :harumph:

Nice.

Chieftain58
12-22-2012, 11:48 AM
Is that vinyl siding on your trailer house?

bevischief
12-22-2012, 11:57 AM
But she still manages to carry a 10' pole around?

Yep.