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gblowfish
11-20-2007, 08:15 AM
Top Ten Worst Bear Joke Punch Lines
10. The bear looks up from his beer and says, "Well, at ten bucks a beer, I'm not surprised."
9. “Looks like you’ve blown a seal,” the mechanic said. “Naw, that’s just some ice cream,” said the bear.
8. So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his butt with it.
7. Then the guy slams the door shut, and says, "You skin that one. I'll go get another."
6. As they rounded a curve, they spotted a sign that read: "BEAR LEFT," and they turned around and went home.
5. The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
4. "Thank you, Lord!" exclaimed the bear, "for this meal I'm about to receive!"
3. So the bear says, "You didn't really come here to hunt, did you?"
2. “Gladly, the cross-eyed bear.”
1. Q: Have you ever hunted bear? A: No, but I've been shooting in my shorts!

Skip Towne
11-20-2007, 08:25 AM
Now where is that girl you want me to fight?

ROYC75
11-20-2007, 09:36 AM
You forgot The Bears, Why did we stop in Chicago ?

RJ
11-20-2007, 09:47 AM
This thread is offensive to the bear community.

Mr. Plow
11-20-2007, 09:58 AM
Violation of copyright.

Rain Man
11-20-2007, 05:11 PM
One of my all-time favorite Far Side cartoons was one where two bears were in the circus, and one of them was wearing a muzzle. The other one had the muzzle halfway off, and was saying, "Well, hey. These things just snap right off."

CHIEF4EVER
11-20-2007, 06:19 PM
HOW TO CATCH A BEAR

1. Find a frozen over pond.

2. Cut a large circular hole in the ice thus exposing freezing cold water.

3. Line the rim of the hole with peas.

4. Hide in bushes and wait.

5. When the bear goes to take a pea, rush up behind him and kick him in the icehole.

*badum pish*